A/N: my failed attempt at angst. It turned to girly and romance-y at the end. Orz

Once dead, they can never come back to life.

Okita Sougo knew that very well. He had tainted his hands before. He knew once his enemies were dead, they will never come back.

He didn't really care for his enemies. They didn't relate to him in any way. They were just people who were in his way. Anyone, Amanto or human, who had ill-intent deserved to die. He couldn't help but laugh at the poor attempt of escaping some make when they were cornered. If they were doing evil deeds, they should see to it to the end; not get scared when the going gets tough. They didn't deserve to live.

All that mentality had changed when his sister was lying on the hospital bed. She was in critical condition. Mitsuba was an angel. She didn't do anything evil. She always helped out in whatever way she could. She took care of him when nobody would. It made no sense. Why must she be dying when criminals in the world have done so much wrong? Why do good people die young? Why did God take away his only support?

If anything, more like he should be the one on that bed. Sougo knew he was no good. He knew people see him as a sadist. Hell, even Hijikata said he was the Prince from Planet S. The young Shinsengumi enjoyed seeing people suffer. It was only when something this drastic happened to him that he realized how painful it was.

Why was God doing this to him? Perhaps it was punishment. Perhaps God knew that Mitsuba was his weak point. It was a lesson. And what a pricy lesson it was.

His sister was the only one who understood him, the only one who would laugh at his silly jokes, the one who could stand his deadpan expression. And now he's alone, so very alone. No one understands him. Kondo-san and Hijikata-san are indeed two of the closest people to him, but their age difference is huge.

As Sougo sat down by the dango place, he hadn't notice that Kagura had followed him. In fact, he walked right past her a few moments ago, which caused Kagura to raise an eyebrow.

Her voice pierced through his thoughts. "Oi sadist. Why do you look different today-aru?"

Okita blinked at her comment. He looked down at his uniform. Nothing was out of place. He turned to face the curious blue eyes and replied, "There's nothing different, China. I don't know what you're talking about."

"Somehow, you feel different today," she sat down next to him and continued, "Usually you would just insult me right off the bat. But today you walked right past me, not even sparing a glance. Did something happen?"

He paused. "Yeah," he replied sadly, "Someone I loved dearly left me."

Kagura felt her chest tighten. She was curious who was actually this important to the sadist to make him go out of character. "Ah, she must be an important person," her voice drifted off, sounding a little more disappointed than she wanted it to.

Okita missed the tone completely. The shop owner put down his usual order of three dangos between the two figures. The two sat in silence. Kagura felt uneasy. Partly because the dangos smell delicious, but she knew Okita wouldn't give her any. And partly because she wanted to know more about this person he loved.

The Yato shook her head and cleared her throat. She patted his back in a friendly way, "Well, it's alright. If you feel lonely, you can come find me. I'll put up a good fight to make you forget all the unhappy things."

Sougo stared at her, wide-eyed. China was actually caring about him, her rival. The world must be coming to an end. He must look so pathetic that even the adversary pitied him. But talking to China made him feel better.

"Anyway," Kagura broke the silence and stared intently at the dango, "If you're not going to eat that, may I?"

Okita laughed. Well, at least one of them was still the same as ever. He knew that the dead wouldn't come back, but at least he can make memories and protect the people close to him who are still living. He pulled her head close to his and placed a light kiss on her forehead and whispered, "Thanks, China."

Kagura blushed at his actions. Before she could recover to yell at him for being so close to her like that, he had already gotten up and left. The dangos were still sitting beside her, unmoved.

She grabbed a stick of dango. Her eyebrows knotted together in a frown. Her cheeks were still burning. She fiercely pulled a dango off the stick with her teeth and chewed.

Kagura muttered under her breath, "Stupid sadist. Look what you have done. Now the dangos aren't sweet anymore."