This can be accredited to my little cousin, who showed me a bunch of Taylor Swift songs. "I'd Lie" left an impression on me. I admit I never liked a guy enough to write poetry or songs about him but it seems a lot of girls can attribute that song to some guy in their life, to a point that it's almost common. Hours later I was looking through some fanfics and "fanfics" blended with this "I'd Lie," and…this.

It's two minutes past midnight as I begin this. Don't take it too hard if this turns out to be stupid, emotional bullshit.

This whole thing's in italics, by the way, because it's all (insertCOUGHhere) "poetry". Arthur's poetry doubles as his diary, and it's not much better than his food, okay? I warned you. Also, first chapter contains a lot of wangst. This will fade.

And for disclaimer purposes, and just for reference, here's the refrain to the song I did NOT create and definitely do NOT own, but merely inspired me to start this.

And I could tell you

His favorite color's green

He likes to argue

Born on the 17th

His sister's beautiful

He has his father's eyes

And if you asked me if I love him…

I'd lie.

September 1st

Came back to school today

Back to sleeping five hours a night

This year's my last go-around, and hey, from the top of the chain, the freshman really do look small

Finding my first class, there was black on my left, fellow blonde too far away on my right

Kiku knew I was always looking to the right

I looked forward for all my classes, though

I looked and watched and absorbed the knowledge I love

Actually just a little bit more than him.

I think.

September 5th

Got an A on the year's first test, my mum's familiar smile

Peter insisting I cheated on college-level French.

I found the hidden notebook I'd already filled with nonsense

Found a space beneath obsédé and pourquoi

Thanked Kiku for teaching me his language so long ago and wrote down pained characters

Which turned out to be bullshit instead of heart-wrenching

I mean, I didn't even use correct grammar!

Thank god no one around here reads Japanese but lovesick fags.

September 9th

Joined Scholar Bowl for the third year

Where the best and brightest show it off

Maybe he'll give a glance this time

If not, Kiku will offer his hand to catch my falling heart

And he knows I'll catch his

When he trips and falls

Because he was busy looking at his own god

Kiku's god smells like cats

But definitely looks like a god.

September 11th

Today's the day of one of this country's worst tragedies

I was still in England then, but I watched the television

And thought that it was so far away from me

The closer you got, the more it must hurt, I thought, like any eight-year-old would

Now that this land is my home I pray for the torn families every year

Alfred is in Advanced World History with me

(His only advanced subject)

And he cried.

I sit on his left and I looked over to try and meet his eyes

Shaking in my boots

But he loves America more than me, of course

I know none of those tears were for me

But because of the day, I won't covet them

September 14th

I've been reading a lot lately

More than normal

(Christ, at least I'm not as obsessed as Annie Wilkes)

It seems that in the end the boy gets the girl, or the girl gets the boy

Or some happy, only-slightly-conflicted variation thereof

The boy never gets the boy

What the fuck's up with that?

September 15th

First football game of the season and guess who scored the first touchdown?

On the bleachers tonight, I pretended he could hear me say,

"I love you,"

"You're a fantastic athlete,"

"Your glasses are cute,"

"Need help with your Calculus?"

"God, you're beautiful,"

"You know my name, don't you?"

"You used to."

Even though I certainly didn't hear any of it myself.

Katyusha, with her heart of gold, drove me home

And I read till dawn so my mind would be made of words and not stupid feelings

Max, I wish I had balls like you, to say what's been eating at me like maggots

Or Fang's beauty so he'd notice me

Is it weird that I'm okay with not having your wings?

September 16th

Went to Francis' house and regrettably declined his offer to watch porn

Dude's just a lech

I might actually end up needing it

He says he's thinking about joining the soccer team

(His girlfriend told him to)

And he said we should go to his backyard and practice

And I got the best fucking idea ever

We kicked the ball and yelled and fell for four hours

And I went home and crossed my fingers.

September 17th

5'10 and 151 pounds

Determination and a bitchin' left kick

Apparently makes a good enough combination to get you on the soccer team

Francis didn't make it. Ha!

I met Matt, a shy little freshman who would marry hockey if it were a woman,

Says I've still got traces of an accent and too much temper

And is Alfred's younger brother.

(How did I not know about him? Is he adopted?)

(No. They look so alike.)

I like Matt and I won't use him just to know more about his brother.

Maybe only once a week.

September 19th

Saturday, and I slept past eight in the morning for once.

Huh. Weird.

Kiku texted me, asking for a prayer

Which translates to his cousin Yong-soo coming for a visit

(Poor bastard)

The guy's funny, but has no sense of personal space...and thinks it's okay to feel up his cousin

For my part, I was employed/forced into helping my mother cook for her friend's party

Made the mac-and-cheese turn blue

Dunno what Peter made that seizure-face for, it tasted fine!

September 21st

I had soccer practice today

Mum told Peter he should grow up like me:

Intelligent, athletic, well-read, multilingual, endearing, handsome, etc.

Alfred, what the hell else do I have to be?

It hurts so badly to be perfect in the eyes of one

And to not even exist in another's

I didn't want this to affect my performance today

So I kicked the ball a little too hard

And hit Coach Rome in the face.

Whoops.

September 22nd

It's cruel to be excessively nice to someone

And milk them for what you want later

So I found Matt at his locker before lunch and cut to the chase.

"Does your brother know me?"

He's wise for a fifteen year old and I know he understood

He said he remembered me coming over to play, years ago, (I said I remembered him, too...uhh…) so why wouldn't Alfred?

I remember those days so clearly

Throwing baseballs together in his driveway

Sneaking Coke when his father told us we could have the Sunny-D

And one day I wasn't good enough for him anymore

I'd give anything to be like that again

Together. His favorite. At his home…like I was also a part of it. His friend. His.

I read myself to sleep

Woke up when I felt Mum drying my tears.

September 25th

Our first big Scholar Bowl competition was today

Against Rayfield, the school in the next town over, for rich little bigots

"And, next question for Rayfield, the term for a substance that cannot be dissolved or liquefied?"

And Cheerleader Lana slams her hand down on the buzzer: "Nonsoluble!"

Kiku and I fell over and practically cried; Lana's team tried not to.

Stupid bitch, everyone knows it's "insoluble"!

Hetalia won and Rayfield lost.

We all went to a nice Italian restaurant after

Spaghetti tastes like fucking VICTORY.

September 27th

The weekend and I'm fed up with studying

I went out and was going to take the town's only bus to the mall, specifically, Borders

Thought I'd pick up something on fairies or mythical creatures

(They're bothering me again)

And my heart literally stopped when I saw him waiting for the bus, too.

He had his brown jacket and his smile, all he ever needed

I went up and just said hey.

He said, "Who are you?"

I pretended I was pissed because we're in history together and he should know that by now, a month into the school year

He laughed and said he remembered me:

"Yeah, you're the kid with the cute British accent!"

He didn't sit next to me on the bus.

He got on before me, and smiled and waved as he stepped up.

Smiled so beautiful.

It nearly made me forget that he initially didn't know who I was.

He said I was cute.

Fucking, bloody god...

September 30th

Kiku was at the lunch table before me, like always

Doodling cats in the back of his notebook, like he does about once a week

"You talk with Heracles today?"

Kiku's eyes remain dark, hidden, but he says they were partnered up to do a worksheet in English last period

I was about to get my food when he added: "He knows I draw; I told him I'd draw a black Persian for him."

My mouth crooked up in a smile I know I haven't used in a long time

Lucky guy. He's making progress, or scraps of it.

How many more years before I get to do that?

I'm already enjoying this…because it's so easy to write! I can fill up a page and hardly notice!

This first chapter, typical of love I assume, was basically filled up with Arthur's heartache. It gets better. I originally intended this to be a one-shot, but couldn't stand to have it end so fast. I like to put character into any story I write, for example, the fact that Arthur likes to read, especially to distract himself (and being a soccer player, which, yes, I did first think of by hearing about England and America's tied FIFA game) Fitting in character is pretty hard in this type of format, so I'd like to extend this story now to a month-by-month basis. As in, next month will be October. Not like I'll be updating once a month.

Btw, for those who don't know what Arthur means by "scholar bowl", it's basically a kind of club/organization where you answer tough trivia questions. You and your team will fight against another school team, and the first one to answer something like "Who was the first female winner of the Nobel Peace Prize?" gets a point. Rinse and repeat, get a winner, get a trophy, etc.

Hope to see you in Chapter Two~