If I asked would you answer Honestly?
Pairings: LudwigXWilhelm
Warnings: BoyXBoy, Sexual themes, and Yaoi (Basically all the good stuff XD)
I do not own Ludwig Kakumei or it's characters
I apologize for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes
I hope you like it and please review this is my first time doing first person's point of view and I would like to know if it was ok even if it is terrible I would like to know^^...So please read and review
There is a question that keeps repeating in my head. I do not know what to do with this burning question that is imprinted in my eyelids. Months, that's how long its been stuck in my head. Ever since I ran away from being crown king. It just will not leave. This question is only intended for one person. It such a simple question that I should be able to answer, but I just cannot. Nothing comes to my mind, but a picture of him.
His shoulder length black hair.
His brown innocent eyes.
His pale skin and plastered on his lips is a smile that lights up his whole face.
I really don't know what I should do with this question. Should I ask him or try to figure it out myself. It frustrates me because this stupid question only makes more. And they all should have simple answers, but I just don't know. I mean it should be simple just ask him the question and then I get my answer. That's not the point though, I want to know why I cannot answer it. I see it in my head every time he is around.
'What are you to me?...What are you to me?...What are you to me?'
It circles around in my head making me dizzy and nauseous. Always giving me horrible headaches that I try to ignore. Lifting my hands I grip my long orange locks in a tight hold, hoping beyond hope that it will go away. Hoping that everything will go away. I honestly don't think I can do this anymore. Something needs to be done and it needs to be done fast. I sigh quietly to myself trying to clear my mind so I can think clearly. It takes me about ten minutes, but I finally come to the decision to ask him.
Its funny how I only noticed my feelings were changing after that question popped into my head. Just like ever thing else it should have been simple. I was his prince and he was my servant. I should feel nothing, but that relationship...master and servant, maybe even friendship That's another thing Wilhelm and I have...friendship.
I will admit to over abusing my power over him once or twice, but we were still friends non the less. To be honest I only did it to protect him. Everyone always used him to do their work, giving some lame excuse that he falls for all the time. The sad thing is it still happens. Wilhelm has always been naïve and too kind hearted for his own good. Then again that is a trait in him that I was draw to from the beginning.
I wanted to changed him, make him tougher, and be able to say 'No'. I did not count on me changing though. Confusion has become my best friend during this whole thing. Even right now I do not know what I feel. Some days I am indifferent to him, but not in a bad way. It's mostly the indifference you have to your best friend that has been by your side for as long as you can remember, a contentment would be a better way to describe it.
Others I want to get away, I feel like I am suffocating and drowning at the same time. Then there are the days were I want to hold him in my arms and kiss his lips. On those days a strong desire burns through me. Causing my hands to shake and body temperature to rise.
I want you.
I don't want you.
You're my friend forever till the end.
When will I ever come to a decision and make up my mind. This didn't even come gradually or maybe it did, but I just did not notice yet. The day that I knew my feels were mixed up I instantly became afraid. It hit me hard, some might say like a ton of bricks, but this was ten times that feeling. It was more like getting hit by two horses pulling a carriage at full speed.
There was nothing special about that day. I was incredibly bored and didn't have anything to do. So I watched Wilhelm work. I watched him do his chores along with many others that asked him to do theirs because they were 'incapable' of doing it themselves. We were outside in the hot sun because the servant who chopped the wood apparently hurt his arm and could not work. So Wilhelm being the caring person he was told the man he would do it for him.
I don't remember when I started, but I watched him with a new intensity that day. He was so beautiful with the sun shining down on his pale skin and dark hair. A thin layer of sweat making his flesh shine. I watched as he picked up logs then chopped them in half before finally putting them on the pile. Fifteen, Twenty minutes into this repeated process he took of his shirt. I could feel my emerald eyes cloud over with something I never felt before as I watched his lithe muscles move under his skin.
Beads of sweat rolled over his back and I could not stop my eyes from following their journey. The biggest shocker that day had to of been the fact I watched all this without berating myself. It was like I was seeing without seeing and there for no negative thought came to mind. That is until he bent down to pick up some more wood and I found myself staring at his ass and I had a horrifying thought.
'He has a nice ass'
I felt my eyes widen and I freaked pretty bad. Also most instantly I jumped up from the spot I was sitting in and ran. I ran all the way to my room, not caring what anyone thought. My heart was beating franticly and my eyes were wide with fear. I avoided him for the rest of the day. Choosing to stay in my room to think about this new development. Again it should have been simple, easy, but nothing is ever easy or simple for me. I did come to a conclusion though and it was not in the least surprising that I liked him so much more than a servant or friend.
Never did I act upon those feelings until now.
I decided I would ask him once we got settled at an Inn. We had just pulled into a small town that looked old and dusty. It was almost like a ghost town with its sad buildings and few people wandering around. Nothing seemed to be open and the houses looked abandoned, but we were able to find a small Inn. It looked like a small barn with peeling reddish brown paint and dirt covered windows.
I stared at it with a blank face, not really caring that this place was run down. At least my father wouldn't be able to find us in such a place. I could tell Wilhelm was having a hard time with the bags from the way the horses whined, but I just stood there. I knew he would be able to get them because he has done it many times before and I really didn't want to be around him much.
I was nervous and irritated so I knew I would snap at him. I hate it...I hate every time I snap at him because I don't mean to. Most of the time I'm upset at other things or like now irritated. The pain look he makes every time I do take my anger out on him. Makes my heart squeeze painfully and I feel like I might suffocate, but he just takes it. Like it's acceptable for me to do that to him like he deserves to be treated like shit.
When in reality he doesn't, there is not one thing he does that makes yelling at him acceptable. Wil is so timid and cute. I don't know how I even find that power to yell at him. A sigh escapes my lips as I look at the ground with my arms crossed over my chest. There I go calling him cute. Why the fuck do I keep thinking like this.
'Hopefully when I ask him tonight I will find the answers I want.'
As soon as I finished that thought Wil came over with an apologetic smile on his face.
"I'm sorry I could not find anything better, Prince Ludwig."
"It's fine, Wilhelm" I said as I waived him off.
I gave him a small smile to further show him that it really was ok and not his fault. In return I also got a smile and it made me soften just a bit. Even if I wanted to I could not stop my hand, I hadn't even realized it was moving until it reached it destination. My hand moved from my right side and into the air between him and I. I stared into his innocent brown eyes and he looked at mine.
Right now I wish I knew what he was thinking. Just this once so I knew what I was doing. Gently I cupped his soft pale cheek with my hand. Slowly moving up and down in a caressing movement. Pulling away just a bit I curled my fingers so I could stroke his cheek with the back of my nails.
My face remain blank, but I just knew my eyes held a sadden emotion in them as I watched his face. His eyes closed as he sighed leaning into my touch. I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed like for a bit. Till my thoughts caught up with my actions. Instantly I pulled my hand away as I cursed at myself in my head.
'Stupid...That was so fucking stupid'
I left him to get the bags as I went into the Inn almost stomping my feet in annoyance. I knew it was going to take awhile for Wil to get the bags in so I decided to go to the front desk and get a couple rooms.
'I need to ask and I need to do it soon or I will go insane'
Go figure that this shit hole only has one room available. Lucky it was a two bedroom, so no sharing any beds tonight.
'Thank God'
If I had to share a bed with Wil I know it would have been torture. Besides I so nervous and freaked already I didn't need anything else to add to that. I mean what if I asked him and something went wrong. So the rest of the night ended in an awkward silence. Sharing a bed would just make it even more awkward.
'Jesus Christ'
Wilhelm really needs to hurry it up so I can get this over with. I must have sat in that room for another five minutes before the door opened. He stepped inside, as I released a sigh, carrying multiple bags. Even through I am a prince and don't have to do this. I figured I have been a pretty big asshole over the years, so I got up to help. Taking a couple bags from his arms I placed them over by the beds.
"P-Prince Lui you don't have to do that...You just rest okay"
I shook my head from side to side.
'Why couldn't he just say thank you'
Sitting back on one of the beds I put my head in my hands. I couldn't think straight nor could I calm myself down. This is not going to be good. I just know I'm going to fuck this up somehow. I mean I don't even know how I feel about him. My emotions are all fucked and twisted around. His voice pulled me from my thoughts that were wrecking my mood even more.
"Lui-sama?...Are you okay?"
"I'm fine"
I didn't remove my head from my hands. I couldn't look at him. If I did something inside me will snap and fuck everything up so much. Warm fingers hesitantly touch my hands before pulling them away from my face. I was surprised to find Wil kneeling in front of me with his face close to mine. His brown eyes looking into my green ones as concern swam around them.
"Lui-sama tell what's wrong...Please"
'I might as well get this over with...I might never get this chance again'
I opened my mouth as sorrow filled my eyes and heart. I don't know if I can do this, but I have to. I want to know so bad.
"What are you to me?"
His expression turned into a puzzled one as he then became deep in thought.
"I am your servant and your friend...I am someone that will always be there for you when you need me"
I was shocked I never expected him to answer like that, but as soon as those words left his mouth. I knew they were true and I knew what this mysterious emotion that I felt for him was. A burning sensation built up in my eyes as I tried not to cry. I couldn't do that now. No thinking was involved with what happen next. I decided that I would just feel and not think. It was the best thing to happen to me as I pressed my lips to his.
A warm feeling burst in my chest and I craved more so much more. Where our lips touched a tingling sensation crawled across mine. It was a simple touch nothing more, nothing less. I didn't want to scare him away if he did not like this, but I hope to God that he did. Looking into his eyes I did not see any shock, disgust, or fear. I only saw, what I now know courses through me for him, love. He smiled and before I knew what I was doing I pressed my lips to his again.
As much as I tried to hold them back one tear decided to slip from my eye and rolled down my cheek. I found this slightly embarrassing for I have not cry in a long time nor have I ever cried in front of someone before. The nights I spent crying, where spent alone in the dark...It made me feel pathetic. Wil pulled back staring into my eyes as he wiped away my tear with his thumb. I placed my hands on his hips, pulling him closer to me. It amazed me as I soon realized that Wilhelm and I did not need to speak to know what the other was thinking or wanted.
As he moved closer to me climbing onto my lap straddling me, Wil looked into my eyes as he rested his forehead on top of mine. I thought of how beautiful he his dark hair, innocent brown eyes, and flawless creamy pale skin. But as I stared at him I couldn't help the overwhelming sadness that took hold of me. Again I fought back tears that made my green eyes string and unlike last time I was able to hold them in as well as keep an emotionless mask on my face.
"What's wrong" Wil asked knowingly.
Honestly I did not know.
I didn't know what to tell him.
I did not know what to say, but my voice seemed to have a mind of its own.
"I'm afraid"
It came out as a quiet whisper, but I knew he heard sat staring into one another's eyes as our foreheads touched. Wilhelm held a worried look on his face and I know he was about to say something else.
"Of what" He whispered back.
"Everything"
He raised one hand to stroke my cheek with his knuckles and I wrapped my arms around his waist. We were both perfectly content to stay where we were. Moments later I felt him nuzzle his face into the crook of my neck. Before wrapping his arms around my shoulders in a comforting hug. I let a sigh escaped my lips as I turned my head. Softly I pressed my lips to his cheek. Feeling the smooth skin underneath my lips made them tingle with an electric shock.
His brown eyes looked up at me and I couldn't help, but smile. He lifted his head all the while never once breaking eye contract. Time seemed to freeze as his lips hovered above mine in those few seconds. I felt a pressure build in my chest as I waited for the sweet taste of his lips. I didn't have to wait long. Leaning forward Wil kissed me softly, but I was tired of the soft chaste kisses and I wanted more. I ran my tongue along his bottom lip begging for entrance.
Lips parted a fraction as Wil let out a small gasp of surprise and I took that chance. I plunged my tongue into his mouth tasting an over powering sweet fruit. A shiver ran down both of our spines as our tongues wrapped around each other in a sensual dance. Digging my nails into his back I dragged them around his waist till I reached his hips. I could feel his fingers tangle themselves into my orange locks and slightly pull on them. Which caused me to let out a groan. We pulled apart to gather some air into are lungs before reattaching our lips.
Passion
Lust
Love
Whatever it was it made the heat between us build and soon we were so stifling hot that clothes needed to be lost. We were both so different as I practically ripped his shirt right off and he slowly unbuttoned mine. I was growing impatient, but not that much impatient. Wilhelm knew how to distract me well. My entire mind went blank with pleasure as he started to rotate his hips against mine. Red claw marks were appearing all over his upper body as I ran my nails everywhere. Sometimes making him bleed slightly.
When we pull apart I notice that finally my shirt is gone and somewhere on the floor. Feeling a desperate need I pressed myself against him. Loving the feel of his skin pressed to mine. I moan as he grinds his hips into my erection. Pure bliss courses through my veins and I cannot take it anymore. Getting a good grip on him I push him to my left and down on the bed. My eyes run down Wil's naked and red marked torso. I climb on top of him with a self-satisfied smirk on my face. It gives me great pleasure to know I made those marks.
"Ahhh" A moan escapes my lips as Wil bucks his hips into mine. My eyes are closed as we grind against one another. Pants, moans, and groans fill the silence all around us. I crack my eyes open to stared at him. His face is flushed and to my surprise he is looking back at me. A smirk stretches across his lips making his features become devilish. God not only is he cute, but he can be sexy too.
Wilhelm will be the death of me one day, I just know it. I place my lips on his soft skin, attacking the crook of his neck. I intend to leave a mark as I suck and nip his flesh. He releases the cutest moans as his brown eyes become half-lidded. Licking his skin I taste another sweet fruit before I kiss his lips. I snake my hand between our bodies, heading to the waist band of his pants. Teasingly I rub him through his pants. I love the way his breathe hitches before evolving into a low moan. I smirk knowing this was going to be fun.
Placing my lips back on his neck I suck for a little bit. Before moving down farther licking his sweet tasting skin. The flavor rolls around on my tongue and I moan in approval. I roam all over Wil's chest switching from licks to nips. Sometimes sucking on a piece of flesh grinding it lightly between my teeth. His panting and moans gets me even more excited, they encourage me. Running my tongue along his waist band I stick my tongue in his pants just a bit. He whimpers in frustration as I continue to tease him.
"Lui-sama...P-Please."
"I can't hear you Wil"
I look up at his beautiful flush face. I watch as he pants and squirms as he tried to buck his hips up, but I hold them down. My breathe ghost over his cover crotch and I can tell that it's killing him.
"Please...I-I want you"
I smile at this before pulling down his pants and boxers. Hearing Wil hiss as the cold air touches his newly exposed area I chuckle a bit. I let my tongue run up his erection wanting to hear more of those little gasps and hisses. Running my tongue along his length I few times he whimpers, wanting more. Smiling I nip the tip of his member before slowly taking him in my mouth. A loud moan echoes throughout the room. I close my emerald eyes loving that sound. Taking more of him in my mouth I start to suck and run my tongue over him.
He tries to buck his hips, but I keep them down by placing my hands on them. Moans escape his lips, I groan as I continue to listen. Just like every other part of him I love his taste as I lick his pre-cum. I crawl back on top of him and kiss his lips softly. We take off any remaining clothes and I can't help, but ran my hands down his sides. I can almost hear him make a low whimper in his throat. Kissing Wil's stomach I hear him let out a small hiss before I continue towards his face.
Kissing his lips once more I stare into his brown eyes. Asking a silent question that I hope he hears. Seconds pass with us just staring at each other before he nods his head once. I kiss his lips again in a silent respond. Knowing I didn't have any lotion or something like that I looked in the bed side table drawers. I did not want to have to use spit because one I found that a little gross and two it wouldn't be much help in relieving the pain.
My fingers brush against something in the drawers and moving up just a bit I grasp on to the mysterious object. A light smile appears on my face as I look at the little tube of lotion in my hand. The cap opens with an annoyingly loud 'pop'. Ignoring the sound I squeeze some of the contents on to my fingers and lightly spread it around their lithe forms. Ghosting my fingers down Wil's body I feel him shiver. Reaching his entrance I quickly kiss his lips as I push one of my fingers in.
Wil seems to be fine until I put in the second finger and a hiss of pain comes from his mouth. Moving my two fingers in a scissoring motion as I thrust them in and out I quickly peck his lips. Trying to distract him from the pain that is clearing shown on his face. Using my other hand I start to run my fingers down his hard length before adding the third finger in. A hiss and moan are released this time as he closes his eyes.
I continue to pump his member and stretch his entrance for a few moments more as I kiss his forehead and cheek. Coming to the conclusion that Wil is stretched enough I pull out my fingers. Kissing him on the lips again I reach for the lotion only to notice that it is missing. Looking at Wil I watch as he pours some lotion onto his hands. A small glint of an unknown emotion lights up his eyes making me guess what he is about to do.
I am proven correct as I see his hands reach for my own erection then a cold feeling warping around it causes me to hiss lightly. A moan escapes my lips as he moves his hand along my length. I can feel my breathing become uneven pants the more he speeds up his hand. I moan again as I feel a fire burning in the pit of my stomach warning me that I am close. Pushing Wilhelm's hands away I move my body on top of his once more.
I position my erection at his entrance before slowly pushing in. Another hiss comes from Wil's mouth, but I still move in slowly until I am fully buried inside of him. Pausing in my actions to let him adjust I listen to our panting breathes that echo around the room. Lifting himself onto his elbows Wil kisses my lips then nods his head as our foreheads touch. I warp my arms around his waist holding him up as I start to thrust in to him.
I groan at the velvety feeling and tightness that surrounds me. Fingers ghost over my back causing shivers and shudders to run up and down my spine. A moan in my ear tells me that I brushed Wil's prostate. Angling my hips I thrust into that spot again which results in him moaning some more. Tiny beads of blood bloom on my back as nails dig into my skin. Fireworks are exploding through out my nerves and flesh.
"L-Lui-sama"
Turning my head I look at Wil's flushed face understanding what he wants. Softly brushing my lips against his I run my tongue along his lower lip. He whimpers and opens his mouth just enough for me to invade. Running my tongue along the moist cavern walls I soon wrap my wet muscle around his own. Another sinfully slick dance begins in Wil's mouth before we both moan causing us to pull apart. My hand snakes its way in between our bodies before it takes on hold of Wil's harden member.
Pumping my hands along his length I thrust faster into him. Moans, whimpers and groans escape are lips as we continue this pleasurable dance. I run my tongue along the column of his throat before sinking my teeth into his skin. He moans loudly in my ear as he comes at that moment. Thrusting my hips a few more times I come in him with a soft moan.
Our pants mix together as the only sound in the room and I lay Wil down on the soft mattress. Sighing he looks at me as I pull out of him before laying down next to him. I wrap my arms around his waist bringing him close to my body...feeling happy, tired, and a warm sensation in my chest. He nuzzles his head into my neck after I give him a quick kiss on the lips and kiss his nose. Soft lips meet my throat and I sigh in contentment. Sleep comes to over take us in a dark comforting blanket, but before it does Wilhelm speaks.
"I love you, Prince Lui"
"I love you, too" I reply before I hear his breathe even out in sleep.
A few minutes pass as I watch him sleep silently before I to fall victim to the dark comforting blanket.
Sleep.
Thank you for reading and again I hope you liked it. Please review because like I said before this is my first time doing first person point of view and I would like some feedback and I don't care if you tell me its horrible because then I know what I knew to work on more...So please review =^.^=
~XxSebastin'sXLittleXRobinxX