A/N: Greetings, fellow Whovians. (Ha! I've always wanted to say that!) At any rate, I'm Eleni C and this is my first fanfiction EVER, so I'm not sure how it turned out. Luckily, I have the brave and beautiful Hinn-Raven as my beta, so it can't be TOO terrible...
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. You have no idea how many times I've dreamed I have though ...
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Chapter One: When Fangirls Attack
The TARDIS landed in a small street in a small town that no one had ever heard of. Normally, this would not have been anything of significant. Normally the Doctor just would have come in, done what he had come to do, only to discover that something was wrong, solve it, then take off in the TARDIS.
But, he'd been having some troubles lately… and things were only about to get worse.
The Doctor backed out of the TARDIS talking to Rory and Amy at a million miles an hour.
"So you see, the trans-dimensional control unit overheated and I need parts. Plus, I put my screwdriver through the TARDIS wash again, and she isn't exactly in the best mood to cooperate at the moment…"
Amy interrupted him.
"I'm not in Rio because you forgot to empty your pockets? Where the bloody hell are we anyway?"
The Doctor flinched and turned around. An angry Amy was never fun. However, the current situation was even more pressing.
The Doctor stared across the street, taking in a small poster that hung in the corner of a shop. He paled significantly. He had over-shot. Way over shot.
"Amy, Rory, get back in the TARDIS. We need to leave, now."
"Why?" asked Amy, still annoyed at the lack of sun and sand. "This looks like Earth to me."
"You don't understand! This is a parallel universe! I've been here once before. This appears to be rural America, so we're safe for a bit, but we have to get out of here!"
"Doctor!" Amy shouted "Tell us why being in America is a GOOD thing! Well, never mind, this is an alternate universe…"
The Doctor took a deep breath. "Amy, Rory, in this world, we're characters on a telly show."
"You mean ..." Rory trailed off, praying he was mistaking very, very badly.
"Yup. We have (dun dun dun) fangirls."
At this moment, a horde of screaming girls rounded the corner.
"You were right Sonja! It really is him!" one girl gasped. The one called Sonja walked to the Doctor with an outstretched trembling hand and touched him. A happy grin spread across her face as she collapsed. Another girl approached Rory.
"Bitch! Amy belongs with the Doctor, not you pony-tailed freak! Why can't you just go die in a hole?" screamed the girl in question. She was promptly smacked by yet another girl, one who apparently liked Rory.
"How did she know about the ponytail?" murmured Rory, shocked.
"We're on television, Rory. They know everything about us."
"Hey, at least he didn't have River Song with him!" pointed out a curly-haired girl with glasses as she knelt down to help Sonja up.
"I don't care!" yelled the girl who apparently seemed to think Amy (who was cowering behind the TARDIS, thankful to be forgotten) belonged with the Doctor, "He should have dumped him into the Time Vortex, or fed to the Vashta Nerada!"
"Shut up you guys! Rory dies soon enough. Let them enjoy the time they- oops!" yet another fangirl yelled before she covered her mouth. "Sorry guys, you haven't seen that episode yet."
Rory, white-faced retreated to the TARDIS before they let any more spoilers slip. After the spoiler-girl was sent to go sit in a corner, the rest bombarded the Doctor with questions.
"Why did you fall in love with Rose instead of Martha? Rose is SO stupid!" screamed a purple haired girl.
"Hey!" yelled the Doctor, offended, but he was cut off by the next few questions.
"Why don't you have Jack with? I wanted to meet Jack!" yelled another, this one carrying a magazine labeled Doctor Who, the Complete Story.
"Um…"
"Ooh! It really is bigger on the inside!" yelled a brunette girl, pushing open the door and running toward the consol.
"It's soooo big," sang the Sonja girl, spinning around, taking in the full glory of the time machine.
"That's what she said!" yelled a girl with straight brown hair as she dragged the Doctor into the TARDIS with her. Her obsession, unlike the other's, ran in the family (she had actually been named after a companion.)
"Leela!" screamed every single person within vicinity, including those who had no clue of the dramatic turn of the universe that was going on. It was just a bad habit.
"Where?" the Doctor said, half expecting to see his old friend to turn up, K-9 trailing behind her. He wouldn't have put it behind this crazy world, not after the last time he'd visited. He did not want to think about that time…
Meanwhile, the spoiler-girl had crept back from her corner to examine the TARDIS, and tiptoed past her friends in order to examine the wide array of thingamabobs (she seemed fascinated with the typewriter). "What does this button do?"She demanded eagerly, pointing to a large red button.
"Hey!" screamed the brunette, (the one who had sent the spoiler girl into the corner in the first place) "I told you to stay in the-"
Giggling, the spoiler-girl pressed the big, threatening button.
Then the TARDIS exploded and everyone died. Needless to say, the show was cancelled.
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A/N: So … watcha think? Please review! I plan on making this a series of comedy one-shots, so new ideas are greatly appreciated. You can flame me if you like, but I'll cry for days, so PLEASE make it constructive criticism. I'd like to give a huge thank you to my nerdy friends who inspired this story/ keep me sane in this small town. Especially Sonja, Leela, Fiona, Sarah, Hinn-Raven (in real life she actually did spoil Rory's death for me), Anna, Fantasylover42, and StarExplorer623. Let it be noted that we aren't quite this insane, but it's not too far off the mark … XD