I know how bad you all want to kill me and I understand. I'm so, so, so sorry that this chapter took so long to get out. I got surgery in March and was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis. It's been a.. weird.. couple months dealing with new medications and doctor's appointments, but, it's all good now. I had a new semester in school, which of course brings in new performances. Blah. Either way, I am very sorry for the delay. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! As always, if you REVIEW for me, I REVIEW BACK (: Without further adieu, here is chapter 10 (:

-Kywardbby21

My car was smoothly driving along a back road, despite the fact that my hands were shaking like a leaf. The cool air from the vents were blowing on my skin, calming me down a bit, but I was still growing more nervous with each second. How would he be today? Would there be more monitors connected to him? Maybe less? Is his prognosis still positive? So many questions about Charlie were buzzing in my head that I was surprised I could even concentrate on the open road ahead of me. Even so, there was another question that didn't involve Charlie at all... Why did Rosalie want to accompany me to the hospital this morning?

As you could imagine, she was sitting perfectly in the passengers seat. Her hands were positioned just right on her lap so that you could see each and every beautifully painted nail. Flowing, blond hair sat atop her shoulders, framing her strong facial features. Even her eyes seemed to twinkle while she looked stiffly ahead. She hadn't said a word to me the whole ride, and we had been in the car for almost ten minutes. I felt awkward, but I knew that she must have a reason for coming... It isn't like Rosalie just to randomly volunteer to be around me, or let alone Charlie in the hospital.

I let my thoughts wonder on until I came to a stop sign that I had missed. I unknowingly drove past it, almost colliding into an oncoming truck. In a panic induced motion, I swerved to the right, almost hitting a tree. Thankfully the steering wheel hadn't moved too much, and I was able to regain control.. but certainly not without fright. I took a few deep breaths and looked to Rosalie, expecting her to make a rude remark.

"I understand how you feel, you know" She breathed in what sounded like a whisper. "I know what you went through."

My breath caught in my throat. "What?" I said, my voice cracking.

"I.. I can relate... to what... happened to you. When we... were away." She seemed as if she were looking for the words to say, in attempt to.. not hurt me? "I'm sorry, so very, very sorry that you had to go through something as... malicious... as that. And I know that you don't favor me, which is my fault in the first place for being cruel to you, but I just couldn't... go on... without talking to you about this."

I couldn't get my mouth to form anything that my mind wanted to say. I was utterly at a loss for words. I bit my lip... Hard.

Rosalie continued. "I know how difficult it is to talk about... these things, but first I want to apologize. Before we left... I always used to comment on how incredibly weak you were. I didn't think you were strong enough for a relationship with one of my kind, let alone with Edward. I used to say that you would never understand what it feels like to truly suffer and be miserable. But... Bella, I was wrong. I. Was. Dead. Wrong. I am sorry for all of the things I have ever said about you. Never again will I doubt you, or look down upon you. As I have said, I have been through what you have, many, many years ago. Even still, I know that it takes strength to overcome it. Not just the.. rape.. itself, but the effects afterward. The physical pain, the emotional instability, the fact that you can't trust a single person on this Earth, always thinking that someone is out to harm you. It was the worst thing I had ever endured, and I know that you must feel the same. I'm also sorry for bringing it up to you, but I needed you to know that... If you need someone to talk to about this, I'm here. There are things you may not want Edward to know just yet, or things that would set Alice over the top, and for those things, you can confide in me."

I could feel my face start to get warm and my eyes start to water. My mouth tasted like metal and my breathing became shallow and swift. If there was one thing in this world I despised thinking of, it had to be what happened to me on that chilly September evening. Even the thought of it had my eyes starting to blur and every hair on my body to stand on end.

"T-thank you, Rosalie. That means a lot to me, coming from you." were the words my lips decided to let out. I knew how hard it was for her to talk to me, especially about something that involved her past. We all knew Rosalie wasn't exactly what one would call open, but then again, neither am I.

I quickly wiped a tear away that was beginning to form. Right as I did that, another took it's place. I didn't bother anymore. It's not like I wanted to cry, or even that I thought I had a reason to. I guess it was just a reaction to my past making its way into my present. A few tears strolled down my cheeks until Rosalie slowly lifted her hand to my face. She placed her cold finger right on the bottom of my jawline and moved it upwards to my eye, catching the tears in their path. She did the same for my other cheek before she sighed.

"I didn't mean to make you cry, Bella. I just wanted to let you know that... you have someone you can talk to about it. A friend you can talk to."

From her apologizing to me, to her wiping my tears away, and even to her encouraging me to confide in her, I was shocked. This is not the Rosalie Hale that I once knew, but a new Rosalie Hale that I think... wanted to be my friend.

A couple seconds of silence passed by when I realized there actually was something that I wanted to ask her. Something that I couldn't ask any other person, due to the fact that they hadn't ever experienced what we had.

"Rosalie?" I asked, quietly.

She looked at me, her eyes piercing kindly into mine. "Yes?"

"How long?"

"How long, what?" She grasped towards what I was saying, but still didn't get it. "How long ago for me? How long did it last...?"

I shook my head and took a deep breath. "How long until the fear goes away? The fear that no matter where you go, or what you do, someone is going to hurt you."

"Oh. That." She looked down to her lap, and then back up to me. Her face was so understanding that I couldn't look at it for too long, before I turned back to the long road ahead of me. "Well, for me, it was a few months. But it was only that short, because the second after it happened, I was already being transformed into a vampire. When I woke, I was invincible. Any man that ever tried to lay a hand on me would have that hand broken in every place possible and have it ripped from his body. I'd imagine that for a human, it would take more time. You have to first come to terms with what actually did happen, and you obviously have. After that, you need to surround yourself with people that you know will never put you in harms way."

Rosalie looked at me for a second before she continued. "You've done that, I believe. Especially with Evan."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what is your very first priority right this second."

Without thinking, I answered. "Evan Swan."

She smiled. "See?"

"Not exactly…" I shook my head. "You said for me to surround myself with people that I know would never hurt me, but it's sort of backwards with Evan and I. I need to make sure he is with those who will not harm him. I'm not necessarily worried about myself anymore."

"That's my point, Bella. Evan is the most important thing in your life. His well being is much more important than your own to you, because you are his mother. So, if you are allowing Evan to be alone with the people around you, then you obviously feel more than absolutely safe with them. Them, meaning us. Do you get it?"

For the first time this whole car ride, I truly understood what Rosalie was talking about. If I could trust the Cullens' with Evan, then I could trust them with everything. I mean, I obviously trusted them in the first place, but this proves it. Edward will not leave me again, he will not hurt me. He'd never in a million years do anything to upset Evan. He was, after all his… Dad.

"I think I understand what you're saying." I flicked on my left turn signal and made a smooth turn onto the next road. I was one second closer to seeing Charlie, and one second less from my time of being on common grounds with Rosalie. How long could this mood last, anyways?

"May I ask you something, now?" She almost pleaded.

I nodded and turned up the air conditioner another notch as a bead of sweat began to form on the back of my neck.

"You don't have to answer this if you don't wish too. I guess I really shouldn't be asking this in the first place, but then again, I can't ask anyone else."

"Go on" I ruefully urged.

"Did you ever think that maybe it was meant to happen to you? That maybe, you were put in that situation for a reason?"

That question had never dawned on me until then. I never necessarily whether or not I was meant to be raped, whether I was meant to have my innocent ripped away from me, or whether I was meant to be a teenage mother. Without thinking, I answered "Yes."

Rosalie's eyes got wide and she stared intently at me, waiting for an explanation.

"Maybe I wasn't meant to go through what I went through. It's not like I ever wanted it to happen, of course not, but as I sit here and think of what it has brought me, how can I not say that it was 'meant for me'? I never actually thought about having children, especially not as a teenager, but Evan is the single most amazing thing that has ever happened to me."

"And..." She pushed.

"Well, I got him from a terrible experience. I guess you could say he was my light at the end of a dark tunnel. A very, very, very frighteningly long tunnel. All mothers can say that their child is beautiful, that their child showed them a new kind of love, and that their child opened their eyes to new beginnings, but how many can say that their baby saved them? That small, five pound, two ounce, baby boy saved me from myself."

"But what about all you went through?"

"Rosalie, the... rape... itself was without a doubt damaging. Physically and mentally, I've somewhat changed. I worry more, I sleep less, and I am quite frankly afraid of the human population, but after what I went through... after what we went through, of course moving on from it is difficult. It's a slow process, but a rewarding one."

She sighed. "I know that, Bella. I meant what you went through with Evan. The pregnancy and when he was an infant."

"My pregnancy was just like any other teenage pregnancy, long and scary. I didn't know who to turn to, what to do, or even how to do anything. Charlie helped, but I still lacked that motherly figure to guide me. I suppose it was instinct? Oh, I don't know. I just sort of went with what was thrown at me."

"And you still think it was worth it?" She pondered.

"Well how can I not?"

It was silent for a few minutes. I concentrated on my driving and on how I planned to keep calm when I saw Charlie. Would he be better? Worse? Stable? Who knew. I obviously wanted to see him and to be by his side in his time of need, but a miniscule part of me almost wanted to turn around and go home. Not out of spite, not out of selfishness, but out of fear. I was terrified to see my own father in a hospital bed again.

"Bella, may I ask you something else? Something completely different?" She spoke softly and deliberately.

How could I tell her no at this point? She was helping me in a way. "Sure."

"Do you think that you, Edward, and Evan are somewhat like a family?"

Well, there was something I was not expecting, not in the least. I pondered over what my response would be before I actually voiced it. I wanted to be sure not to say the wrong thing, with the wrong words.

"Yes, but with differentiating qualities than a 'regular' family. Evan is my heart and he is my world. He has me wrapped around each of his little fingers, and has me on my toes at all times. Simply, he is my son, and I am his mother. Edward, I think, feels the same towards Evan as I do. I used to think there was no possible way that he loved Evan the way I do, because no person could ever love that little boy the way I do… but Edward somehow does. He has known him for such a short amount of time, yet is already attached to him."

"The feeling is completely mutual with Evan." Rosalie grinned.

"Exactly, and that's why I'm just so… overjoyed, and confused at the same time. Evan, as you know, calls him 'Dad', which at first, I was not a fan of, but now I am more than fine with it. I'm just confused, because it's like Evan and Edward have this freaky bond going on. Haven't you noticed that? It's a special, adorable, and irreplaceable bond that the two of them have formed. I… I love it. It makes everything so easy. Almost like this is supposed to happen. I was supposed to have a heartbreak with Edward at first, I was supposed to get pregnant with Evan and have him be just the way he is. I was supposed to take Evan to the doctors on the one day that Carlisle was there, and I was supposed to come back to the house and reunite with you all. This whole beautiful mess of things kind of has me believing in fate. I am where I am supposed to be, with who I am supposed to be with."

"So, if you don't mind me asking, does that mean that you and Edward are… in love…. Again?"

I bit my lip. My cheeks began to feel warmer than before and I knew at once that the shade of pink was starting to appear.

"I never stopped loving your brother, Rosalie. I may have been… well, a complete basket case when he left, but it's because I loved him. I always have loved him, I still do love him, and quite frankly, I always will." It felt very foreign to me to be opening up to her like this.

She looked down to the floor for a few seconds and I almost thought I heard her stutter for once.

"W-will you have him change you?"

"Now? Absolutely not. Evan needs a mother, and I wouldn't be much of a mother if I constantly thirsted for blood… something he has running all through his body."

"That's very… wise of you, Bella."

"When Evan is a little older, and things are still going the way they are, then I see no reason why not.. but it's just not possible right now."

Rosalie nodded. "I understand."

The rest of the ride to the hospital was silent, as we were both engrossed in our own thoughts. I kept my eyes on the road, my hands on the wheel, and my thoughts on my future. Our future. Mine, Evan, and Edward's that is. Rosalie's questions sparked some of my own that had my attention at the moment. Would I ever be changed into a vampire so I can live out my life with Edward? Or would I stay human to live and die, being with Evan. Of course, no matter what mortality type I chose, I know that Evan and Edward both would be by my side. Me being a vampire would never, I repeat never push Evan away from me. He is my child, first and foremost.

Then again, Edward is my soul mate. No matter how old I am, he will still love me the way he does now. At this moment in time, I am technically older than him, and I don't mind it at all. I'm twenty-one and he is seventeen.

Thinking about it now, I am positive that someday I will be transformed into a vampire, but how will I ever explain that to Evan. When the actual transformation happens, I want Evan to be old enough so that he can know what vampires are. He would need to be old enough so that he could comprehend it, but also accept it. Eleven, thirteen, fifteen? What would be the right age to explain these things to him.

Would he ever want to be a vampire himself? Would I ever have the heart to change him? To have him suffer through the transformation, the complexity of the life? The life that I had always longed for, but never truly known.

All of these thoughts buzzed in my head but quickly evaporated when I realized that my car was parked, the keys were in my hand, and Rosalie was already outside the vehicle waiting for me. I shook my worries of the future away, only to have my worries of the present arrive. Charlie. With shaky hands, I got out of the car and shut the door before walking with Rosalie into the hospital. We passed through the front desk, three long hallways, and through an elevator before we were in front of Charlie's room. I knocked quietly on the door before I turned the knob to open it.

Edward's POV (babysitting Evan)

"Are you sure that is what you want to do, Evan?" I asked for the third time, in utter shock at his choice. When I questioned him about what he wanted to do today, he told me that he wanted to find leaves, and then later changes his answer to collect leaves.

Being Evan, he rolled his eyes before answering. "Dad, yes. I like leaves."

As odd as his request was, I saw no harm in going outside for the purpose of collecting leaves. We could go see a few different types of trees, pick up leaves from each kind, and maybe even some bark samples. If he really did enjoy collecting leaves, I could get him a scrapbook to keep his findings in.

"Okay, then let's get some sunscreen on you. You and I both know your mother likes to see you sunburn free." I chuckled at how overprotective Bella was. Sure, Evan was pale, but Bella was like a sunscreen soldier.

He took my hand and we walked into one of the downstairs bathrooms. I opened the medicine cabinet that now housed articles that Bella or Evan may need at some point. I rummaged through multiple boxes of band aids, three tubes of children's toothpaste, some baby Advil, a few dinosaur shaped flossers, and a thing of neosporin before I came to the sunscreen.

In looking at the different bottles, I took a few glances at Evan. He was wearing a tee shirt with a pair of plaid shorts and a pair of flip flops. Not too much skin showing, but still enough that needed to be covered. I went for the spray on SPF 50 and took it from the cabinet.

"Alright, Evan, I'm going to need you to close your Oculi." He looked at me as if I had three heads. "Well, I need you to close them so that the sunscreen does not get in them. Getting sunscreen in your eyes would hurt very badly and could actually cause damage to your eyes."

"All you had to say was eyeball." He laughed at himself.

Evan scrunched his eyes shut and put his hands over his eyelids. He even managed to cover his nostrils in the process. I began spraying his face, making sure that each area of skin was thoroughly covered with the translucent liquid. I moved from his face to his neck, to his arms, being sure to get everywhere. Last were his legs and feet. Bella mentioned to me before that for some reason, his toes always seemed to be sensitive to the sun, so I was extra careful in going over them twice.

"Looks like we're ready to head out." I said eagerly as I put the sunscreen back in the cabinet. "Race you to the backyard."

Before I even finished my sentence, he was running swiftly to the sliding glass doors. I could hear his laughter being to slightly fade as he made his way to the yard. I waited a good four seconds before I started walking in the correct direction, allowing him to win our race.

Once I got to the door, I pulled my light jacket off of the counter and slipped it on. I was already wearing jeans to cover my legs and I needed to be sure not too much of my skin would be exposed. Evan noticed that our skin glistened in sunlight, but we told him it was because of the soap and body sprays we used. Not a very good excuse, but it was legitimate to a four year old.

"What leaves can I have?" He asked me, once I was standing beside him.

"You can have whatever leaf you want." I smiled at him. "We have a few different kinds on the property, and I would be more than happy to show them to you."

"What about that one over there?" He pointed his tiny finger to a small tree that was currently shaded by the house. "The pear one?"

We walked to it, and he began picking a few leaves off the ground. "This is a Concorde pear tree. You see how the leaves are sort of shaped like an eye? A pointy oval? Feel the texture, Evan. They are very smooth."

He ran his finger along the surface of the leaf and seemed happy. "I like the stems. They're little."

"Good!" I praised him. "The stems for these types of leaves are very small."

Evan put two leaves into the bag I was carrying and began looking around for a new type of tree to examine. He had his sights set on a Lodge pole pine tree that was somewhere around sixty feet tall.

We strolled to the tree and Evan began to ask me questions about the type of tree it was. For the last tree, I just started explaining facts, but now he was asking me. I could feel the corners of my lips begin to rise.

"Why is it so big?" He wondered. "Why don't the leaves ever leave?"

"Well, it is tall, because that is just what kind of tree it is. Lodge pole pine trees tend to grow to about seventy feet tall. This one has a little over ten more feet to grow."

"Wow. Will I get that tall?" His eyes widened with excitement.

I laughed at his innocence. "Not exactly seventy feet tall, but you will be a pretty tall boy."

"How about as tall as you?"

I cocked my head to the side, thinking of the right way to answer his question. Evan could not inherit my genes because he was not my biological son. As much as it displeased me, I knew this was the ultimate truth. Then again, Bella was five foot four, which is average for a woman. Not knowing how tall Evan's biological father was, predicting his possible height off the top of my head was a bit difficult

"You could be as tall as me, as tall as Carlisle, as tall as Emmett, or maybe as tall as Jasper. It all depends, Buddy. Height doesn't make the man." I reassured him.

His eyebrows came together, the same way his mothers' always did when she was deep in thought. "Well then what does make the man?"

Evan never ceased to intrigue me. What was meant to be a little joke turned into a question that I again, wasn't sure how to answer. In some ways, I think Evan is more intelligent than I am.

"The heart makes the man." I bent down so I was on his level. He handed me a small greenish-yellow bushel of pine leaves that he picked off the ground. "A good man has to have a loving and understanding heart."

"You have a heart and you love people, like my mommy and me. You understand her sometime when I don't know what she means. Does that mean that you're a man?"

I looked into his eyes with sincerity and answered "I sure hope it does."

"I think you're a man. I think you're an even better Dad."

And just like that, he went on asking me about this specific type of leaf. To Evan, telling me I was a good man and a good father was nothing, but to me, it meant everything.

"Why is this leaf pointy?" He asked, meaning the Lodge pole pine leaf.

"This tree is a type of pine tree, which means it is a coniferous tree. Coniferous trees don't lose their leaves in the winter like deciduous trees do." I explained. "These leaves in particular can grow from one to three inches in length. Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah." He agreed.

Evan picked up a few of the pine tree leaves and stuffed them into the bag with the others. We began walking around and he would occasionally ask to stop at a certain tree. Sometimes he would pick up leaves that were in perfect condition, other times he would choose ones that had holes in them or were ripped in half. I have to say, I enjoyed his variety.

As we walked, we would talk about different things he liked and different things he hated. For example, he didn't like Swiss cheese because it had holes in it and he simply thought that was weird. Also, when using condiments, he always likes to make a picture. Making faces with ketchup was his favorite. When it came down to it, he preferred using a spoon over a fork while eating, because it was easier for him to scoop food onto. Evan enjoyed getting dirty and surprisingly liked getting baths. On the other hand, he despised getting his hands sticky. He does not enjoy wearing red because he thinks it makes him look like a strawberry, but loves wearing blue because it is his favorite color.

Listening to him randomly tell things about himself made me realize how much of an individual he was. He may be Bella's son, but that doesn't mean his habits are the same. Evan was just as much of a person as anyone else. His age and size meant nothing when compared to his personality.

"Dad, what about this one?" He spoke with enthusiasm, pulling me out of my little thought process. "This one is cool!"

We were standing in front of a massive Western Red Cedar. On the ground were leaves strewn about. Some where fully in tact while others had been stepped on and snapped in pieces.

"Do you like this one, Evan?" I asked. "It's one of my favorites as well. It's called a western red cedar tree, and these trees can grow up to fifty feet tall. They're pretty wide around too, making them a very sturdy tree. Unfortunately, many of the trees get used for lumber, so they get cut down."

"Why do people cut them down?" His face fell.

"Well, some people think it is justified to cut down trees that really don't need to be cut down. Some trees are, I guess, necessary, but the way people are tearing them apart is just sick, Evan."

"I wouldn't cut a tree down. Ever." He vowed. "Promise."

I chuckled softly and gently squeezed his shoulder. "Good."

"So can I take some of these leaves, or is that bad because these trees are being cut down?" Evan asked before he reached down to grab a handful of leaves.

I crouched down on the ground so that I was sitting and looking at him. My hands trailed along a few leaves, running my fingers through their shapes and rough textures.

"These leaves are already off of the tree, so they aren't technically living anymore. It would in no way harm the tree if you were to take a few." I assured him.

Without another word, he began sorting through the leaves he liked, while he set the ones he didn't want to the side. Big and small, broken and perfect, he chose through the ones that were appealing to him.

Just then he shrieked "Caterpillar!"

"What do you mean 'caterpillar'?" I asked. "Do you see one?"

"Right there!" He pointed to the ground and sure enough there was a caterpillar.

The caterpillar was a brownish-burgundy color and was extremely fuzzy. His head was black and the area around his eyes was a somewhat creme color. Being only about the width of two adult fingers, he was quite small. Knowing that the caterpillar was a harmless breed, I had no problem when Evan began to pick it up and play with it.

It wiggled on his hands and even went into a little ball when he accidentally sneezed. Soon enough though, the little guy opened back up and began to squiggle onto Evan's arm. He laugh and giggled in contentment and I smiled at his happiness.

"Dad, can I keep him?" He pleaded between spurts of laughter. "Please? I'll take care of him, real good, I promise!"

How could I tell him no? Besides, it's not like it was something dangerous or large, it was just a small little caterpillar. I'm sure Bella wouldn't mind, and even if she did, it's not like it would stay a caterpillar for very long.

"Well, keep in mind he will turn into a butterfly soon. This type of caterpillar will turn into a Green Comma butterfly when he develops a little more. We'll have to make sure he has plenty to eat and that he has a place to put his cocoon."

I could see he was becoming more excited by the second. "So can I keep her?"

"Yes, you can keep him." I laughed.

"It's a her, not a him, Dad." He corrected me. "See, it's a girl." He pointed to the caterpillar in awe and watched as it moved along his skin.

Confused, I asked "How can you tell that it is a female?"

Evan rolled his eyes at what I said. "Because, it's beautiful. It looks pretty and nice and loving and girls are all of those things. So it's a girl. Get it?"

"Yes." I simply said. I really couldn't argue with his reasoning. Even with my knowledge, I couldn't just look at a caterpillar and know the gender. Then again, even if I could, I would never damper his spirit. If he thinks women and girls are beautiful, pretty, nice, and loving, then I want nothing more. All men should think that. Evan being a little boy was no different.

"I'm glad you understand." He simply said.

I chuckled. "So what is this little lady's name?"

Evan's eyebrows were scrunched together and his nose was slightly wrinkled. His little tongue poked through his lips as he concentrated on thinking of the perfect name. Just like that, a light must have gone off in his head because his face erupted in a grin and he took a deep breath.

"Her name is Katie."

Without another word, he began strolling into the house with his new friend. I shook my head in amazement and picked up the bag of leaves that were sitting on the ground. I was careful as not to damage any of Evan's 'treasure'.

Suddenly my phone rang in my pocket, so I reached down to grasp it. After seeing it was Bella that was calling me, I immediately hit the answer button and took the phone to my ear.

"Hello, love, how is Charlie doing?" I greeted her.

In a soft voice she replied with "Get Evan ready and bring him to the hospital."

Thank you again for sticking with me. I'm extremely sorry for the delay, and really cannot explain why it's been so hard for me to get this chapter out. A new semester, more performances, my surgery, blah, blah, blah. Anyways, as always, review for me and I PROMISE to review for you. THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR TIME! (:

- Kywardbbyx21