A Puckett's Father Figure.

Writer: Invader Johnny.

Plot: Who does Sam go to see on Father's Day?

Disclaimer: I don't claim to own iCarly, the show's rights belong to both Dan Schneider and Nickelodeon.

Author's Notes: Well this idea came to me not too long ago; in fact, it was spawned after seeing some ungrateful brat in the street yelling at his father that "you are a shitty dad". You never expect to hear something like that out of a child, needless to say my brain just came up with this story an hour or so later…. I know, it's rather strange, but what're you going to do?

Just enjoy the story, it's meant to be a Father's Day special.

"Spencer" The whispered voice broke the peaceful silence in the bed room.

"Ummm"

"Spencer"

"Go away raccoon… need sleep"

"Uh Spencer… do I look like a raccoon to you?"

"Don't pee on me," he slurred. "I just took a bath."

Sam looked disgusted for a few moments before asking ""Dude, what it's with you and animals?"

"No! Don't eat my face!"

Sam chuckled. "Spencer and his crazy dreams"

It was pretty obvious the man, was still in dreamland so the teen had no other choice but to wake him up the fun way.

She quietly crept back into the living room to grab something out of the backpack that she kept hidden in the Shay house for emergencies, and to Sam there was no greater emergency than to wake up the less mentally balanced Shay sibling on this particular day.

She fished around in the pack, finally grasping the cool canister firmly in her hand and made her way back to Spencer's bedroom. She took one last look at the jumbled lump under the covers. She poised her finger on the blue button and gave a sinister chuckle just before she pressed the button and let loose a deafening blast from the air horn she held right next to his head.

"WAKE UP SPENCER!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Spencer screamed and jumped straight up, thrashing wildly and tangling himself further into the blankets that surrounded him. He finally threw off the menacing bed covers and ran for the door, only to trip over the raccoon trap he'd set next to his bed, He collapsed face first on the floor, right at Sam's feet.

Sam chuckled and said in a mockingly sweet tone "Aren't I better than any alarm clock?"

"Sam!" Spencer yelled while rubbing his ears in desperation "Didn't I beg you and Carly, like, a gazillion times not to do any more of those wake up Spencer bits for the show?"

"Yeah"

"And?"

"I'm still gonna do em."

The man picked the blanket up off the floor and was just about to crawl back into bed when he saw the air horn poised in his young friend's hand and a raised eyebrow that said, "Do you really wanna risk it?"

He groaned. "Sam, how did you get in here, anyway?"

"I used the door."

"I was pretty sure I locked it."

"You did."

"Then how did…. you… you know what? Never mind."

"So, you started locking your bedroom door, now. Huh?" She quipped.

"Hey, that's… absolutely normal!"

"Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. What's the matter, Spence? Don't you trust your little sister?" She teased.

"That is not the issue and you know it!" He whined. "I'm just being…. careful"

She asked knowingly "Of Rabid Raccoons?"

"Look, I heard them in the trash chute the other day and I know those little suckers can climb," Spencer pointed warningly at Sam. "So one of these nights when you and Carly fall asleep watching a movie and one of them starts chewing off your feet, don't come running to me!"

Spencer collapsed onto the bed and then looked warily at the air horn still in the teen's hand. "Sam, its 9 AM on a SUNDAY. I spent all day yesterday working on a sculpture that is due tomorrow and I planned to sleep in today. Right now all I want to do is go back to my comfy, comfy pillow, so if you're here to see Carly then…"

"I didn't come here to see Carly," Sam interrupted.

This got the adult's attention. "Wha…You didn't?"

She shook her head and gave a barely audible "Nope"

"Then… who?"

"Use your head Spencer. Who else lives here?" She retorted in annoyance. "I came to see you!"

"Say Whaaaa?" He said in a high pitch tone of voice.

Sam chuckled. "Aren't I full of surprises today?"

"Yeah, only with your surprises someone usually ends up in pain."

A sadistic smile crept onto the girl's face.

"That's not why you're here… is it?" He asked suddenly suspicious.

Sam rolled her eyes at his wary tone, "Come on Spencer, do you think I would get up this early in the morning just to pull some sort of joke on you?"

He gave her a look that said "yeah I kinda did."

"Well aren't you paranoid!" She commented playfully. "But all jokes aside, do you know what today is?"

"Uhhhh… Sunday."

Sam groaned. "Aside from the day Spencer, you know what special day it is?"

"Um you're… birthday?"

Sam looked confused then angry. "You don't know when my birthday is?"

Sensing he was stepping on dangerous ground, the older Shay slowly made another guess. "…Freddie's birthday?"

Sam scoffed. "Why would I care when the nub was born?"

"Because your friends?"

"Barely."

Sam started to jump up and down with excitement over this guessing game. "Come on Spencer! Think!"

"Sam, I reeeeeeeeally don't know what's so special about today, and its way too early for me to start thinking."

"Okay fine, here's a hint. It's the third Sunday of June, and that day iiiis?"

As if suddenly the sun came out of the clouds, Spencer widened his eyes in realization.

"Oh man how I could have forgotten? It's Father's Day!" He exclaimed. "Dad is going to call today; I gotta wake up in case the phone rings, Thanks!"

Sam rolled her eyes "Spencer it's 9 AM, I doubt your old man is going to call now."

"You never know!"

"Focus Spence!" Sam snapped. "I'm trying to tell you something here!"

"Oh right, what is it?"

Sam rubs her arm nervously, "Look, I'm not exactly good at all this touchy-feely emotional garbage thing, but…"

Spencer's defenses softened as he realized how hard she was struggling with this. "It's ok, Sam. You know you can tell me anything."

Sam gave a small smile at his comforting gesture. "Right. I was just thinking that…since today is Father's Day and I never actually knew mine, I erm… Well, I figured you're as good…Ok you're better than my old man…And you are pretty much the only adult I actually bother to listen to, so… Spencer…"

Before she could continue, Sam got her backpack from the floor and pulled out a not-so-neatly wrapped present, about the size of a lunch box.

The man raised an eyebrow "What's this?"

She smiled and thrust the present at him. "It's a gift. For you!"

"Really? I LOVE PRESENTS!" He snatched the gift from her hand and unwrapped it with the fervor of a 6 year old child. "Shoes?"

"Not just any shoes Spencer," Sam pointed out proudly. "These are Harry Joyner's shoes."."

His eyes widened in utter shock at the mention of his idol's name "Re…r…e…r….really?"

"Yup, check it out they're even autographed."

The man turned them over and indeed he saw that in each shoe was the name of his idol, on the left one it said "Harry" in big bold letter and in the right one it said "Joyner" in equally bold letters.

He couldn't help but ask "You didn't steal these did you?"

"Come on Spencer gimme some credit here I mean if I had stolen them, would they even be autograph?"

"No I guess not" He chuckled. "But how did you even get him to autograph these?"

Sam shrugged "wasn't hard"

While Spencer was inspecting the shoes like they were gold (which probably were in the artist's mind), the blond smirked, she wasn't about to tell him that she nearly ran over his idol with his own car just to get the shoes.

Sam hadn't exactly forgiven the guy for almost destroying Spencer's hopes and dreams, she didn't care if he was the older Shay's idol.

"What's are these for, well, I mean I know what they're for, but why are you giving them to me?" Spencer asked, still in awe of the gift.

The question jolted Sam out of her pleasant memory. She still hadn't officially asked him.

"Well, uh…This is kinda my way of asking if, just for today, you'd… you know, maybe… be… my… Honorary Dad?"

Out of all the things he imagined coming from the unpredictable girl's mouth, this was definitely something he didn't see coming.

"Ok, now I'm sure I'm dreaming!" Spencer started to chuckle.

"Spencer, I'm not joking!" Sam replied annoyed. "Could you, for once, just take me seriously for a minute?"

Spencer's laughter came to a sudden halt as he looked at the expression on her face. "I'm sorry Sam, but you kind of threw me for a loop just now. It's not every day someone comes up and asks, 'hey you wanna kid?' "

"Yeah, I guess I deserve that." She chuckled softly. "So, how about it? Wanna be my dad?" She asked again. "Just for today?"

Spencer lurched forward, scooped her up into a bear hug, and yelled at the top of his lungs, "Yes! Yes! YES!"

"Whoa Spencer don't act like such a girl, a simple 'yeah, ok' would have been enough!"

Both of them laughed goodheartedly.

"So, Daughter, whatcha wanna do today?"

Sam pretended to think about it a few seconds before a smirk made its way onto her face "Well there is something I wanted to do Dad"

"Which is?"

"Get your car keys."

Two hours later Carly bounced happily down the stairs to the living room. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect today. Her father was supposed to call, but with his job that's not always easy. If it were up to the Colonel, he'd find a way to talk to his kids on Father's Day.

She checked the phone messages hoping she heard something from the Colonel. No such luck, but hey, the day wasn't over just yet. Actually, it was just beginning and with that thought in mind, Carly decided to check on her brother.

"Spencer!" She called, "What do you want for breakfast?"

No answer.

"Spencer!"

Still nothing.

Curiosity got the best out of Carly and went to her brother's bedroom, only to see that he wasn't there.

"Ok, I never would have expected the day my brother was out of bed before noon on a Sunday." she joked.

Carly looked around his bedroom "Maybe he left a note or something?"

Suddenly the front door opened and footsteps were heard followed by laughing, the teenager got out of the bedroom and went to see what was going on. The sight in front of her was disturbing to say the least. "What the heck?"

"Hey Carly," Spencer greeted her mid-laugh.

"Hi Carlotta, what up?" Sam asked as she shook pink coconut flakes out of her hair onto the clean floor.

Carly looked suspiciously at the pair who were covered in pink gooey food ingredients. "Where have you two been?" She asked perplexed.

"Fat cake factory," her friend answered bluntly. "Which I might add, we won't be allowed inside ever again"

"And whose fault is that?" Spencer questioned in fake annoyance.

"Hey, that security guard had it coming!" Sam defended. "Nobody pries a Fat Cake outta Mama's hands!"

"Sam, he was just doing his job. You had no right in calling him a loser and making him cry."

"Well he was a loser!" She snapped. "What kind of a guy still lives with his mother at the age of 45?"

"Ok back it up you guys!" Carly interjected. "Tell me why you guys are covered in… that!" She gestured to their sticky state.

Sam grabbed a bit of a Fat Cake off of Spencer's arm and ate it. "Yum!"

Carly looked at her brother expectedly. "Well?"

"Oh," he continued nonchalantly. "We were running from some cops because Sam got into the cellar of the fat cake factory and ate like 200 fat cakes in under an hour, which I gotta admit, was very impressive!"

"Thanks." Sam answered distractedly, "Hey got any bacon?"

"In the fridge"

"ON MY WAY!"

She limped her way further into the Shay household.

"Ok, Why where you two at a factory in the first place!" Carly asked trying to get the story straight. "Aren't factories usually closed on Sundays?"

"It was, Sam just let us in!"

"SAM!" Carly exclaimed. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that Fat Cakes would be much better if they were fresh from the factory and not sitting on some Gas Station shelf for 6 months."

Carly then returned her look towards her brother "And why did you go along with this crazy thing?"

"Just wanted to celebrate Father's Day with my kid." He answered meekly.

Carly's face froze in shocked confusion. "Say what?"

"He's referring to me Carls." Sam mumbled around a piece of bacon.

The brunette faced her best friend incredulously, waiting for an explanation.

"I asked him to be my honorary dad for the day, No big deal."

"It was a big deal," Spencer smiled. "I'd never been anyone's Honorary Dad before."

Carly sighs in annoyance "And you two couldn't think of a way to spend the day in a less dangerous and insane way?"

"That would have been boring" Sam quipped "Plus I wanted this day to be memorable."

"And she succeeded," Spencer said happily. "I even got a pair of shoes straight off of Harry Joyner's feet!" He did a happy little jig showing off the very stylish

"Why can't my life be normal" Carly thought in frustration.

"So what's next on the list Dad" Sam asked, ignoring her best friend's angst.

"First a shower, then… I dunno"

"How about a movie?"

"SUPERB! Wait…" Spencer pointed a stern finger at the blond in the kitchen. "This isn't just some ploy to get me take you to an R-rated movie, is it?"

"It's not sex or anything, just some aliens slurping out the brains of stoners and teachers. Their brain was mush anyway. You got a problem with that?"

Spencer considered it for a moment. "No... I guess not. Just, maybe you should close your eyes at the scary parts."

"Spencer, this is me!" She exclaimed. "How am I supposed to know which parts are too scary for me to watch?"

Carly chuckled. "It'll be the ones with him covering his eyes."

"Oh, Ha Ha!" Spencer gave Carly a sarcastic laugh as he quickly disappeared into his bedroom.

Carly asked her best friend in disbelief "Dad?"

"What? Can't I call him that just for the day?"

"I guess you could, but it sounds weird"

Sam shrugged "Meh."

"Well if you are going to spend time with my brother, would you at least promise not to get into anymore trouble?"

"Can't make any promises Auntie Carly."

"Hey don't call me that!"

"Why?"

"Because A) it's weird and B) I'm too young to be an aunt!"

"Want a piece of bacon?"

Carly looked incredulously at her friend. "Weren't you listening?"

"I was"

"And?"

"I wasn't sure you wanted an answer"

Before Carly could say anything else a high pitched scream was heard coming from Spencer's bedroom, both girls instantly quickly ran to see what exactly was going on.

"Spencer are you ok?"

The man screamed again and both teenagers ran for the restroom and they saw the reason behind the screaming.

The soap was on fire.

"Oh chizz Spencer how did that happen?" Sam asked incredulously.

"I don't know!" He yelled "Just help me turn it off! I'm too young to die!"

"And we're not?" The blond shot back.

"Fire! Fire! Fire!" Spencer repeated over and over again as he pointed frantically at the soap in the bathtub.

"And this is who you chose for your paternal role model?" Carly asked sarcastically as she quickly and calmly doused the flames.

A few hours later after the incident in the bathroom Carly was sitting next to the phone hoping that the Colonel would call, or that her brother and her best friend would call!"

"Where are they?"

Right after she brought Spencer her shower gel and convinced him it was safe to get back shower, he and Sam left the apartment with the intention of going to the movies.

Carly wasn't so sure about that anymore.

It was already 6 o'clock and she was pretty sure a movie did not last 6 hours!"

"That's it! From now on I'm going to forbid those two to spend any time together!" She pouted out of jealousy.

The phone rand and the brunette was quick to grab it hoping that it was the duo who ditched her hours ago.

"WHERE ARE YOU TWO?"

It was someone else.

"Dad? Oh hi!" She chuckled in embarrassment. "Sorry.. I was expecting… well I didn't know it was you…"

Sensing that his daughter was not her normal cheerful self a concerned "How are you?" could be heard from the phone.

"I'm… fine just a little worried I guess… I haven't heard from Spencer and …."

The doorbell rang.

"Excuse me of a second Dad I'm gonna see who's at the door"

Carly walked straight to the front door and opened it. What she saw didn't surprise her in the latest.

Spencer looked anywhere but at his little sister while Sam just gave an embarrassed looked. Behind them her principal was holding them by the arms.

"Carly."

"Principal Franklin?"

"Is this a bad time?"

"I was just talking to my dad on the phone."

Spencer's smiled "Dad called?"

Carly glared at her older brother, "Yes, unlike you two!"

"Carls let me explain," Sam started. "We were going to call but then out of nowhere, we…. didn't"

Carly gave her best friend an annoyed glare and sighed. "What happened?"

"Well we were at the park and then some squirrels were doing it," Sam began to explain "I just had to take a photo because it would have been perfect for iCarly… so I took a cell phone out of some guy's pocket and took and picture."

"You stole a phone?"

"Mine didn't have a camera. I was going to e-mail it to Freddie then to give it back."

Carly looked at her elder brother "And where were you all this time?"

He lowers his head in shame. "Trying to catch a bird."

"Because?"

"IT POOPED ON ME, OKAY?"

"Yes, anyways," Principal Franklin said trying to get the conversation back on track. ". "I was at the park having a father's day picnic with my kids while they were creating a disturbance. The police were called. I was able to get them out of there with just a stern warning."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Any time Carly. Now if you'll excuse me, I got to go back to my house. I left my children in the middle of a game of red light/green light. I believe they've been waiting at the red light long enough."

Principal Franklin left, and both Sam and Spencer entered the apartment, with Carly glaring at them.

"So uh, have a good chat with dad?" Spencer asked innocently.

Carly ignored her brother's feeble attempt at making conversation and asked "what do you two have to say for yourselves?"

Spencer sheepishly says the first thing that came into his mind "Happy Father's Day?"

"Ugh you know what? I'm gonna talk to dad and after I'm done we're having a serious conversation about how you two been acting!"

"Tell gramps I wish him a Happy Father's day" Sam said.

As the brunette stomped over to the phone she snapped at her friend "So not funny Sam!"

Both "Father" and "Daughter" gazed at each other.

"Well this was fun Dad" Sam quipped "What say we do this again next year?"

He grinned "Oh, I don't know…Can I expect another present?"

Sam chuckled "Sure, why not?"

"Then "her old man" gave her a one arm hug "But next year can we not get arrested?"

"Anything can happen Spence but I got to ask, did you had a good father's day?"

"Well like you said, it was memorable."

Well that's it, what do you all think of this, I just thought that off all the characters on the show Spencer seems to be the only adult Sam actually respects, so I figured he could be in a sense the closest thing to a father figure she has.

Just so you all know Carly grounded both Sam and Spencer, Sam was not gonna be able to find ham on the Shay household for three weeks and Spencer, let's just say he won't be able to wear ins new shoes anytime soon, why? Because she hid them, LOL.

That being said, it's rather funny how Carly has the true iron fist in her home and not her brother, am I right?

Overall watcha think of the idea? Like it, hate it?

Invader Johnny Signing Off.