Me: Hello and thank you for clicking on this story.

Max: Yo.

Me: I have a song for the first half of this story if you are a person who doesn't mind some moderate language. The song is Wasted by Paranormal Social Club. Check it out on youtube, because I'm too lazy to put the link. Also, the other song for this is Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3 which you can listen to/watch at ilike. com /artist/3OH!3/track/Don't+Trust+Me?src=onebox.

Max: Is that it?

Me: Umm, maybe…WAIT! Disclaimer!

Max: …

Me: …

Max: -sigh- Fine! I'll do it! Noel doesn't own Mortal Instruments, 3OH!3, Paranoid Social Club, or Jace. However, she may drool all over him if desired, and Laura is hers. Oh, and she doesn't own me.

Me: I don't drool! -sees picture of Alex Pettyfer- -drools-

Max: -looks at what Noel is doing- -drools-

Me: Onward!

I downed another drink and slouched back into the couch. The shots burned down my throat, but one after another the burning sensation disappeared and was replaced with a slightly tingling as the alcohol trickled down my throat.

I blinked hard as the world wobbled for a second. I shook it off and moved to the dance floor. Bodies mingled and mixed into each other. Boys on girls, girls on girls, Downworlders on Mundane, Demons on Mundane it was a sea of drunk fools all over each other.

This could work.

Being the god-like hottie I am, it didn't take long before I was surrounded by a handful of chicks.

For all of you emotionally unstable girls, I'm sorry I labeled them as chicks. At least I didn't call them whores, even though that is more appropriate. Oh wait, I just did, didn't I. It's not my fault that the blonde with a mask of make-up shows off way too much non-existent cleavage and isn't wearing anything that slightly resembles the pants she should be wearing. Maybe she's trying that baby doll look and squeezed into her dolls pants to finish the look…anorexic much? Oops! There I go again with those insults.

Not that I was complaining, but could these girls get any more fake? Well, I know that the short brunette one didn't get a boob job, but all three of the blondes definitely did. Don't judge me, I'm on my eighth drink.

"So," A girl whispered huskily, leaning against my chest. "Got a girlfriend?" She asked. The scent of strong alcohol laced her breath, but then again what didn't smell like alcohol in here.

I leaned towards the bar and swiped up another drink. Downing it like Kool-Aid, I turned to the girl. Giving her a once over, I noticed a few things. She had black hair, dark brown eyes, and didn't look like a complete slut. Yes, she had a quite a few risqué, promiscuous characteristics, but she wasn't as bad as Boob-job Blondie.

I get insulting when intoxicated. I also turn into a bit of a man-whore...

"Don't you have a boyfriend?" I responded, not answering her question.

"Yes, but let's forget about him and dance." She said with a flip of her hair.

I smirked. "Oh, we weren't already? I thought swaying while sandwiched my two girls was considered dancing in this twisted club."

"You're," She quirked her head to the side. "Funny." She finished.

I twirled my finger through one of her dark locks. "Funny isn't the world I was looking' for." I replied huskily.

The girl smiled, obviously pleased with my response. She pushed us towards the edge of the dance floor and started grinding against me.

"So our sandwich didn't count, but this does?" I asked sarcastically. I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't enjoying the proximity between us; yet, I couldn't hold back the comment.

She batted her fake eyelashes flirtatiously. "Well, we haven't start yet have we?" She responded seductively.

I couldn't hold back a grin. "How many drinks have you had?" I asked.

"Three." She said, still using her seductive tone of voice. I thought back to what Isabelle's dad, Robert, told her when she turned 15. "Never have the third drink. If you do…well, don't expect any child support from the sick bastard who knocked you up."

This girl either didn't have someone to tell her about the third drink or she, quite frankly, didn't care. I'm going with the second choice.

I may seem like I'm using the poor girl, but I ordered us more drinks.

After we finished them off. She giggled and launched into an hilarious story about her neighbor's cat. Apparently, the cat ran up a tree, and once her neighbor found the cat it just jumped out of the tree. I laughed with her. The story was funnier than it sounds.

Oh god, I think her stupid story is funny…I'm definitely wasted.

The girl laughed and leaned in to kiss me. I smiled and pushed her away. She was agitated at this. "What was that for?" She snapped angrily.

I thought up a quick excuse. "Well, I don't even know your name." One for Jace!

She laughed. "You're hilarious! My name is Laura, silly."

I smiled flirtatiously. "Laura. I like it." It wasn't a lie, but it was pretty close to it. Laura was such a bland name. Laura the scatterbrained airhead who didn't make any impacts to make her memorable. That's who I picture when I hear the name Laura. I'm not positive, but I have a feeling her parents got the name right.

"Ima gets some drinks." Laura slurred before walking over to the bar.

Me: Start playing Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3. Link: ilike. com /artist/3OH!3/track/Don't+Trust+Me?src=onebox.

Max: What if they don't want to?

Me: -smacks-

She swayed her hips as she walked, trying to grab as much attention as possible. I looked at what she was wearing. A short black dress and matching heels that were almost "Isabelle worthy". She almost seemed sexy to me. Almost. I wasn't that drunk, and I had pretty high standards. Not that she wasn't pretty, but she definitely wasn't beautiful.

A minute later she returned, drinks in hand. Giggling, she handed me mine. I downed it without hesitation. Laura, on the other hand, took little sips as we continued "dancing".

The world wobbled again and I had to grab Laura for support. Laura didn't really get why I grabbed her shoulder and got the wrong idea. She giggled and snaked her hands around my neck. This girl sure giggled when she was drunk. "Whatcha got 'n mind?" She whispered. Before I could reply, or do anything, she kissed me harshly. I didn't kiss back, but I didn't stop her either. Finally, after a few slow minutes, very slow minutes, she took a hint and pulled away. "What's wrong?"

I growled and looked past her to the bar. Sitting alone, a girl played with the straw of her drink. Her auburn curls glowed in the flashing lights. She seemed uncomfortable sitting alone. Something pulled me towards her. First, I had to get rid of Laura.

"I'll be right back I'm going to the ladies room." She said, not waiting for my reply. She strode off towards the bathrooms and soon disappeared. Wow, that was easier than I thought.

I grinned and made my way over to the bar. I sat inconspicuously next to the girl. "Can I get an Dirty Martini and some Sex With the Bartender." I asked, winking at the bartender. She blushed and started to make my…our drinks.

The girl next to me laughed. "Sex with the bartender, really?"

I smiled. Score! "Well, I'd don't think getting a Silver Bullet would be appropriate in this particular club. I got the second best thing."

She shook her head and smiled. "Yeah, I guess so. I once ordered a Vampire Kiss Martini. That didn't go quite as planned." She seemed lost in thought. "Let's just say that it's a good idea to not order one of those when the bartender is a vampire. I'm not sure if he was offended or turned on. You know how vampires are. There isn't that much a difference."

I laughed, this time not faked. Unlike with Laura, I could just relax around this girl, it wasn't forced.

The bartender slid the two drinks towards me. I smiled charmingly. "The Sex is for this beautiful lady over here." I said and pointed to my right.

The bartender slid her drink towards the girl and walked away stiff...you know what I mean!

"Haha, very funny." The girl said, taking the drink anyway.

"Well, you seemed a little awkward and lonely. That's why the Sex is so great. It really helps you adjust and relax." I said picking up my drink. What? I did say I acted like a man-whore when I was drunk. And I lost count of how many drinks I have had once I downed my tenth.

She rolled her eyes at me.

"So, what's your name anyway?"

"Clary." She said. She took a tentative sip of her drink and made a funny face.

"It's not that bad," I said, holding back a laugh. Her face was priceless.

"No, it's good, but I prefer Sex on the Beach."

I laughed. "Ah, I never saw you for that kind of girl."

She laughed. "Well, looks can be deceiving. There is a lot about me that you don't know about." Her voice was taunting, but her eyes held some unknown secret. I almost asked her, but something held me back. She looked as if there were some things about her that I wouldn't want to know about. But then again, What could be worse than having Valentine as a father.

"True. I bet you didn't know I played piano."

She shook her head. "Please! Of course I know you play piano. I have seen your hands. The are those of a pianist." She have me a warm smile. "What's your name?"

"Jace." I answered simply. Okay, so technically my name was Jonathan, but I would hide that for as long as I could. No one knew me as Jonathan. I grew up as Jace and will always be Jace. Just Jace.

She batted her eyelashes at me and gave me a warm smile. "Jace. I like it."

I smiled back at her, but a wave of dizziness washed over me and stopped my reply short. Clary placed an arm on my shoulder to steady me and raised an eyebrow. "Who do we need to call so you don't try to drive yourself home?"

I opened my mouth to tell her I could get myself home, but her big green eyes were filled with worry. Damn the little twirp who invented bambi eyes. I bit back my dignity and told her who to call. "Call my sister, Isabelle. I'd call Alec, but he likes to make a big deal out of things like this." I said, handing her my phone. She flipped through my numbers until she found the one she wanted and hit send.

She pressed the phone to her ear and tried to hear over the roaring music. After a few minutes of silence she groaned and snapped the phone shut. "Voicemail," She said and handed me back my phone.

"Well, I guess that means it's just me and-" I started.

Something yanked me out of my chair and I spun towards whoever had grabbed me. It was Laura. "Jacey! How dare you dish me off to hang around with this bitch." Laura snifffed and pressed her chest against mine. Even a ho when in distress, how touching.

My vision blurred so I blinked hard and tried to focus on Laura. Something was definitely wrong.

A) The world was starting to spin.

B) I never told Laura my name, but she knows it anyway.

C) Her eyes just turned pitch black and a black leathery tail was swishing behind her.

D) Shit!

"Jacey!" Laura cooed, getting a tight grip on my neck. "G' Night!" Her tail raked across my cheek, drawing blood. Her mouth twisted into a sick smile as the tail wrapped around my neck. I lost the battle to keep my eyes open and fell limp into Laura's arms. The last thing I saw was Clary slashing towards Laura, a blade shining in her hand.

God, I think I may love that woman.

Me: So, did you like it? Oh, and the thing about the third drink is something that my sister's boyfriend told me...don't ask

Max: Aww!

Me: Oh my god! Did Max just 'Aww!'? I think I can die happy now.

Max: What? You 'Aww!"-ed too!

Me: -ignores- Anyway, at the moment this is just a one shot. Unless you guys really love this story and review the crap out of it, it will remain so. Don't hate me. Use your imagination to picture what comes next until I figure out whether or not to do a second chapter.

Max: If you didn't take the hint, READ & REVIEW!

Me: Yeah, what she said! -posts-