Usual Disclaimer: They're not mine; I only borrow and abuse them only to return them for others to do the same.

To Know What I Have Done

Chapter Twenty-Two: Reflection

Memories of his time with Lily, of Hermione, the war and thoughts of what could have been flitted through his mind over the past week. To say his mind was in turmoil was putting it mildly. After Lily's rejection he never thought himself to be in a position of being a father. Nor had he wanted to be. But, there were times he woke in the night cheeks wet with grief of what nearly was with Hermione. If he had known about the pregnancy at the time he would have demanded she get rid of the child, if not machinate its demise without Hermione's consent. But, now that this child – his son, has been taken away from him, knowing how dearly Hermione must have wanted it to attempt leaving everyone and everything she loved behind… He couldn't fathom the depth of meaning and possibility that was now out of his reach. It was for closure that he decided he would attend their funeral service, even if he was stood at the back, watching from a distance.

The irony of holding the funeral service at Godric's Hollow wasn't lost on Severus. Funny how two women I've shared affection for are both to be buried within mere feet of one another. He thought to himself as he wound his way closer to the graveyard.

"This is a place which is not a place

In a time which is not a time

Halfway between the worlds of the Gods and of mortals."

The clear voice of the officiants called out, carried to his ears on the wind as he wound his way through the crunching dead leaves in the graveyard to the service. The sense of mournfulness and grief of the other guests became increasingly stronger and more oppressive to him as he approached. Thankfully, the media hadn't turned this into a circus; a small affair, fitting for a woman who didn't like the fuss and attention of those outside of her close-knit circle.

The officiants, he had seen at various burials after the war, but they weren't entirely that important. They were just your standard ministry sanctioned ministers. The guests, who came to pay their respects, were important. They are the ones who will remember you after your time comes. There couldn't have been more than twenty people there. The Weasleys, two Muggles whom he could only assume were Hermione's parents were there along with Potter and the youngest Weasley son. Of course, Minerva and Hagrid would be in attendance, as well as Longbottom and that Lovegood girl. He'd seen worse. But, then again Hermione wouldn't have wanted a large public display. The people dearest and most important were there to see her off in this final journey.

AN: The words Severus hears are not my own, but quoted from: http : / www . ladyoftheearth . com / rituals / wiccan - funeral . txt .