Chapter one

There were many ways to get to the room of doors. For there were many doors in that room. One led to the great library, another to snud, one to the outlands and one even led straight to the white queens castle. Tarrant Hightop could have used that door, but he wanted to use a special door. The one that he knew she would use. It was quite a trip to that certain door, but to him every minute was worth it. He enjoyed riding through the Tulgey woods, seeing the familiar sights, hearing the familiar sounds, and smelling those memorable scents. He would have preferred to travel by hat but sadly there wasn't a soul big enough to wear a hat nearly the size it would need to be for him to travel comfortably. His horse was a valiant steed though, and he did enjoyed their conversation as they traveled.

He came this way everyday and yet there was always something new he discovered. Whether it be a new flower, a color he suddenly discovered, or the way the dirt visible the more he took this trail. Everything inspired him on the way to the door of rooms. Speaking of which he thought brightly. He could see the small door atop the stairs waiting for him. He urged his mount to go faster. He giggled madly as it drew nearer. He knew today would be the day. It has to be he thought She said she would be back before I knew it. And the hatter was getting very close to knowing it. His steed stopped, and he slide of its back. Tarrant bounded over to the stairs and took them two at a time. He was moving so fast he very nearly tripped over the small door and fell into the flowers on the other side. They would have been so very angry to being squished after blooming so very beautiful this year.

Tarrant took a moment to compose himself. He didn't want to look flustered when he greeted Her. He took a few deep breaths, straightened his hat, fluffed his bow tie and smoothed his coat. He wanted to look his best, especially because it was almost Brilig and the tea would be waiting for them when they got back. Smiling he kneeled down in front of the door. It was far to small for him, even his hat wouldn't be able to squeeze through, and he certainly couldn't shrink down to size. No, no that wouldn't do at all to have her see him so small. He ran his fingers along the frame of the door, tickling it to make it grown. Just because it was small at the moment didn't mean it always had to be small.

The door shuttered and grew to the right proper size for a hatter to pass through. Standing the hatter had to take even more deep breaths to calm himself. He was so very nervous. It had been such a long time since he had seen her. He wasn't rightly sure how long it had been but he had decided anytime away from her was too long indeed. She should have stayed long enough to at least learn how to use a mirror properly. An audible connection had to be made from the upland first before it would connect again, so none of them had been able to instruct her on how to do it and they didn't know where exactly she was so they couldn't possibly send McTwisp to inform her on the many other uses of a looking glass, but that was all besides the point. All that mattered was that this was the door and Tarrant was sure he would find her on the other side.

Grasping the door handle tightly, twisting and opening it in one fluid motion. He had the brightest smile he could muster on his face. He wanted her to know that he was happy she was back.

"Alice it is so absolutely wonderful to see…" the rest of the sentence died in his throat as he gazed upon a decidedly empty room. The world came crashing down around him as it did everyday he came here. His bowtie wilted and his eyes shifted to the most sorrowful shade of green. He fell to his knees and stared into the empty room, tears filling up the rims of his eyes. " She promised…" He sobbed quietly. Tarrant went through this everyday simply because every morning was the start of a new day with it new hopes and wonders and the old hurts and pains were forgotten in the excitement. The fact was though that every time he came to this empty room a new pain was born and the old ones came with it. He clutched at his heart that felt as if something was trying to burst out of it. The hatter curled up on the checkered floor and cried his broken heart out. He didn't care who or what heard him. The pain was almost to much for him to bare and he felt that if he cried loud enough someone would come to take it away.

No one ever came. They just didn't know what to do to fix a hatters shattered heart. Mallymkun had always supposed that if one could get at the heart that a few stitches could easily fix it. Mirana would look sadly at the small door mouse. She knew what the Hatter needed and it wasn't a few stitches.

Tarrant cried until his tears dried up and then he cried more. He sobbed to try to purge this horrible feeling from his body. He tried to forget the pain, tried to forget her. No he could never forget her. Why would he want too? The way her hair reflected in the sunlight, the way her eyes lit up when she laughed, the soft curve of her lips and their lovely pink hue. His faced contorted in pain. These wonderful memories brought so much pain. Why couldn't he just bottle up the memories and the pain separately to sort through at a later more convenient date.

" Hello sweet hat." a intelligent smooth voice remarked. This was certainly a new development. - The hatter remarked in a small remote part of his mind.

"Gow awae Chessur." Tarrant managed to croak out, his outlandish slur creeping in. Although it was nice to know that someone had come he wanted to be alone just at the moment. Chessur patted the top of Tarrant's head sadly, smoothing out some of the tangles from his wild orange hair. The hatter responded by curling into a tighter ball.

" I am truly sorrow to be bothering you at this time…" the cat began.

" Then laeve mae bea…" He interrupted.

"But the Queen needs to see you." Chess finished. His normally happy smile was sad as he gazed at his friend who's pain he didn't know how to cure. Even with his many talents healing a broken heart was not one of them. " She says it's urgent."

Tarrant squeezed his eyes closed tight. He couldn't go see the queen like this. What would she think of him? His scarred hands clutched at his heart. The pain was so intense, why wouldn't it go away? It normally left after a few hours and all that would remain was a dull ach. Tarrant sighed. He was going to have to bear through it, his queen needed him.

" Aight, I'ell take mae horse." The hatter said rolling on to his hands and knees. " Eh'll give mae tium to compose maeself."

" I think that would be best." Chessur said nodding in agreement.

The hatter stood up slowly, even if he was mad he still knew that standing up to fast, after spending that much time on the floor, could lead to a head ach, spinning of the room, and a possibility of losing conscious. None of which he wanted to experience. Alas he must have stood up faster than he thought for the room gave a terrible lurch and he hand to brace himself against the wall.

" Tarrant?" The Chesshire cat questioned concerned.

The hatter took a deep breath and put on a terribly forced smile. " I'm fine" he whispered. But he most certainly was not fine, for when he bent down to pick up his hat he fell to his knees.

" Tarrant are you quite sure your fine? You're looking awfully pale." Chess said appearing in front of the hatter looking very concerned.

Said hatter let out a small laugh. " Chess, I'm always pale."

" Yes, but you're looking much paler than is normal for you." The cat replied.

" Quite sure." He said standing up and doing a little turn to prove his point. " See I'm absolutely fine. I stood up to fast is all." With his hat squarely on his hat he started to make his way down the stairs. Half way down though his heart gave a very painfully stab and his world started to spin. He closed his eyes and tried to steady himself, but to no avail. " I think I was mistaken." He wheezed as his legs gave out, and he started to tumble down the stairs.

The Chesshire cat saw Tarrant start to fall and immediately evaporated in front of him to try to cushion his fall as best he could. It was very difficult but Chess managed to get them both to the ground safely and with out any squishing going on. Chess surveyed his friends condition. He was unquestionably unconscious, his face held absolutely no color at all, and his breathing was very shallow. The cat placed a paw on the hatters nose to check his temperature. It was very warm. Much, much to warm for a hatter. He quickly climbed onto Tarrant's chest and gripped his coat with his claws. Closing his large eyes he concentrated very hard. Evaporating himself was one thing but to also have to evaporate another being with much more mass than that of himself was much harder. He managed to get them in to the room of doors but that was as far as he could get them. Chess looked at the door that led to the queens castle. " A fine day to leave my keys at home." He muttered wearily.