A/N: Okay so I'm back with something else completely different. It's all by me. No beta or anything. Hopefully this is good to you guys. I've been hesitant on posting it, but finally did since it's time to move on. So tell me what you think of it. Reviews are always appreciated.
Why can't I get my mind of him? He didn't even want me; he wanted to kill me...
He loved my mother... He kissed her... I was his imprint... What's an imprint?
Sitting in my bedroom, thinking about what I heard my mom and Jacob talking about. Me and some things that I shouldn't have to know, but that day I found out all of it. All these years of being kept in the dark, I was beyond furious with anger. He loved my mom, I was probably his replacement of a girl he never had but lost, but in some way, which or form, could Jacob really love me? Like really love me? That's the question that's been on my mind for weeks since we've been apart, and since then I've been stuck in my room, imaging that Jacob is just right around the corner, but that's just impossible...There's no way you can refuse an imprint. Going back to that day just gives me nightmares.
"Baby? Ness...babe. Please you have to let me explain?" Jacob ran after me down the hallway, pulling my arm so I could face him. I yanked my arm out of his grip to say my piece.
"Yeah explain." I crossed my arm over my chest. "Cause, I'm really lost here...hell I've been lost for years. How could you not tell me?" I could feel the tears in my eyes wanting to escape, but I held them in. I wasn't going to be showed as fragile in front of him.
"I wanted to tell you, and then again I don't. Why should I put you through that pain, Ness? I got over it as soon as I saw your face. I wanted to protect you and love you..." I cut him off. My mind was only set on the hurt he caused and the prevention.
"You had no choice, Jacob! I see that now. If you never imprinted on me then you wouldn't be here. I heard everything Jacob. From kissing my mom twice, to wanting to throw me out the window, to wanting to kill me. I don't know...I...I...I'm lost for words, um..." I turned my head from his vision and got rid of the escaping tears.
Jacob was suddenly behind me to give me comfort, and a part of me was going to lean in, but I backed away from him to the other side of the hallway.
"Please don't touch me." I sniffed.
"Honey...I'm so so sorry. You had to hear that, but you made me better. I was so bitter and messed up at that time. I wasn't thinking straight. No one knew what you were, it was complicated. As much as I hate to say this, but only Bella was on my mind. My best friend..."
"No! The woman you love is my mot..."
"No, it's you! I haven't felt that way about your mother in years. Don't you go on saying that." He demanded. It was quiet for a few minutes before I had another question.
"I don't understand this imprint thing I overheard." I stated after cutting him off about his past obsession with my mother, I know it's really wrong of me to make such an assumption, but could you blame me.
"It's what happens to us wolves, when we see that person it's it for us. We only see that one person, but we can be whatever we want for them. I imprinted on you the day you were born. I loved you when you beautiful brown eyes held mine, Ness. Everything I felt was gone, with that one look. You were my everything from that point on. I went from protecting you, to becoming your best friend, and now I love you." Jacob finished and looked at me with his adoring eyes and I knew I couldn't trust. Pure honesty and love in them, but I was still unsure.
"The imprint causes you to love me. I still don't see how, you can go from hating someone one minute to wanting to protect them the next. That just proves it, Jake. What would've happened if you would've...?" Jacob's face turned red with fury as he took huge steps and was in front of me.
"Don't you dare, Ness" he rasped his voice out. "It would've happened anyway...It's not fake, what we have is real. I hate myself for even thinking that, but it doesn't matter anymore! I love you! I fell in love with you Ness, naturally. The imprint just made it clear and easier for us. We were friends before I started to love you. I got to know you for what you are before I started to love you." He took his large, russet hands and put them over my cheeks and brought our faces in close contact. He knows I can't think when he's this close to me.
"I loved you on my own, Ness. Please don't say it's because of the imprint that I fell in love. It's because of the imprint that I saw clearly. Eyes opened and no hurt from looking into yours as I doing now." I exhaled slowly and inhaled his scent, here I am feeling good with Jake when I should be mad at him, but I still am.
"Jake, I need to think about this. I can't just forget about this. I need time." I moved away from his presence and he rushed back over to hug me from the back begging for forgiveness.
"Please Ness, don't let me go. I know it sounded bad what you heard about everything...but you have to see that I love you." My mind was torched with unexplained images of my mom and Jacob kissing like how I kiss Jacob. I didn't understand why that suddenly pop into my head, but all I knew that it raised a boiling point.
"I can get over the fact that you and mom..."
"There was no me and mom. Only me making a jackass out of myself to get her to feel the same way about me, as I do about her."
"Kind of like you're doing right now." I immediately hated myself for saying it was supposed to stay in my head. I didn't want to hurt Jacob. I love him, it's just I can't help but feel sort of jealous and confused.
Jacob was about to say something, but I cut him off.
"See what I mean! I'm saying stupid shit that I don't mean so you need to leave. Now!" I screamed. I needed him gone before I say something really stupid again.
"Go on! You can't refuse an imprint's request!" I cried out. Hating myself for doing this, but he needed to go. Jacob had one tear running down his cheek as he came over to me. I remained still not trusting myself, as he tilted my head up and kissed me.
I fought every power in my limbs not to wrap my arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. I kept my arms crossed over my chest as he gave me one hell of a kiss that I didn't return. My mind flew back to our first time together, how gentle he was with me. That's how that kiss was and I loved it.
He broke away from my lips and looked me in the eyes. I closed them, becoming so afraid to look at Jacob's new vulnerability. I opened my eyes seconds later to see him by the front door, just staring at me, as a few tears ran down his face and then he ran out the house. Making me feel sick as I also caused him pain... I haven't seen him since.
My Jacob...God how I miss my Jacob
No he's not mine...
He probably never even wanted me...Now I know that's a lie, my inner negativity keeps making me see the bad in things. Like him wanting me.
That's the power of an imprint...
I guess...
Makes you see what you haven't seen...
I briefly close my eyes and I'm flashed with a horrifying image of my mom and Jacob kissing. I cringed... What was my mind being stupid, why am I being stupid. I know he loves me and I love him, so why am I wasting this time moping around, seeing things that don't exist. My mom and Jacob never happened, never will.
My mom was completely and utterly in love with my father, so why am I thinking stupid shit...
He's still been on my mind now for the past few weeks since he's been gone Replaying over and over the conversation I overheard mom and Jacob talking about the day I was born. That he didn't want me wanted to kill me, for what I did to mom, and that he didn't want me to know that it was the past. I walked away after I heard that it was too much to handle.
I keep bringing it up... I still don't understand why
I still loved Jacob with all my heart and to find out everything that happened before I was born broke my heart. No matter how much I'm mad at Jacob, I still couldn't get over that kiss he gave me, before he left. Every kiss I had with Jacob was always mind-blowing, passionate, and made me want more. Like the day he kissed me during bonfire one night, our first kiss. I kissed him back, and that was the beginning of our relationship just a year ago
I'm sure him kissing me was just to mess around and have an replacement of Bella, but he didn't seem to be thinking about Bella, hell if I know as I let him attack my lips as he tried to tell me that my mom was just in the past and nothing came from it, but meeting me. I was still scarred from that single tear that ran down his cheek as he stood there before leaving, but I don't know what's true he dropped a huge bomb on me in a few minutes. Imprinting, loving my own mother, kissing her twice, and he wanted to get rid of me.
How was I supposed to react?
Those lips. Those soft, warm delicious lips. Makes mad with thirst. Snap out of it
I have never tried anything like that before, and I never think I will. Unless he comes back–which I never think he will. At least for my sake, since you can't refuse an imprint's request, I suppose
When I sleep at night, I can't stop fantasizing about him. Being in my room, coming into my bed. I fantasize about him bending his head down to me, kissing my lips fiercely while his hands are all over my body. Then he starts removing my clothes, kissing my neck continuing down to my newly undressed breast…
Sometimes I continue my fantasy, other times it slowly transforms into a dream and take a life of its own. That's the best nights; the nights were my fantasy turns into a dream. It feels so much more real when you dream it.
...
She is all I want, and she doesn't even see it. Looking at her without touching her is almost excruciating. Those fiery reddish bronze locks of curls, resting on her cream colored ivory skin, her big brown eyes and her perfect natural red lips. Those lips. What I wouldn't do to have them on mine one more time, to touch her one more time. As I did that night, and I knew she wanted to kiss me back. I could feel her shaking and felt her wanting it.
My Nessie
I can't keep watching her from a distance like this, I've already been warned by Edward, but I'm not worried about him, it Nessie that I'm worried about. She dreams about me in ways than one. I would hear her say my name, and being as overprotected as I was... would go into her bedroom without a care in the world and just slide into bed with her, place her hand on my chest and see everything she dreaming about. Even after all that I have seen before, and I want to have her that way too. I need to have her. I need her body and I need her bad. Not only her body, but her mind and soul. Her forgiveness for my past.
Her trust...If only I can change her mind
...
Before I headed to the shower, I open my window. I let the cool autumn air into my room.
As I shower I feel an energy in my room and I can smell it too. It has to be him. No one have energy like that. I smell him very near...
Too close
So he hasn't left. Maybe he really does love me. I need to stop with that... Of course he loves me...
Wearing only my red panties and my matching red tank top, I hurry to my room. If it really is him there...I don't know what to do. One thing is a fantasy, a dream. Reality is a completely another matter. But it feels like him. It must be him. It has to be him
As I open my door my suspicion is confirmed. He is standing at my window, leaning against the frame. I close my door and locking it, not knowing what to do now. Looking at him makes my heartbeat accelerate; I bite my lip thinking about his once more.
…
She is paralyzed, frozen standing by the door. She clearly isn't upset of me being here, I can see the longing in her eyes, the way she bites her lips looking at mine, her heart accelerating.
I walk to her, slowly for me, but she will sense it as a fast pace. I fasten her between me and the door, letting my body feel her all the way down. Through her top and my shirt I can feel how her nipples harden under the pressure of my chest, how my presence arouses her.
I slowly slide my fingers up under her top. I want to feel her nipples, I want the touch them, to play with them, to make her pant.
…
He is closer to me than he have ever been before, since that first night. I can feel all his muscles as he his all over me, every part of my body touched by a part of his. His lips are only a few centimeters from mine, but it's clearly not a kiss he wants now.
His fingers slide up underneath my tank top and I take in a deep breath in anticipation for what he is about to do. His fingers sliding up my belly feel more sensual than any of my fantasies have been. As he reaches my breast he cups it in his hand, and then starts to play with my nipple.
The way his fingers slides past the tip of my nipple, teasing them, fells so good. He takes a more firm grip and I let out a big breath.
When my breathing starts to become faster, he notices and a smile draws across his beautiful lips. This was what he wanted.
He lets go of my nipple, to my big disappointment. His hand slides down to my hip, where his other hand is already resting. Then he grabs a hold of my top, slowly lifting it above my head, throwing it on the floor next to us. Now all I'm wearing is my red panties.
…
Her reactions to my actions are intoxicating. How her breathing quickens and her nipples harden under my touch. It's fascinating, how all this seems new to me, we've only been together once and now it seems like it's new. I feel a desire I have never felt before. I want to satisfy her and she clearly wants me to satisfy her too. It's been too long. I lean into Nessie and look down over her beautiful body. Her soft curves, her rosy red nipples just shock forward needing to be touched. "Missed you." I whispered in her ear and kissed it. She shivered and placed her hand on my back. I missed you too, so much
I slowly slide down her body, wanting to play more with her breasts. My fingers return to their nipple, while my lips find her other nipple. As I kiss it she lets out a big breath, then breathing harder again. I start to lick it, letting my tongue play with it. She likes it, letting out a soft moan.
After a while with her perfect breasts I need to kiss her warm and soft lips and I let my hand slide behind her back, as my lips kisses her all the way up to her mouth. As I reach her neck, she welcomes me, arching it so I have easy access. Not yet, Nessie. I finally reach her mouth. Before I kiss her I look into her eyes. A fire of passion is now burning in them.
Then my lips crashes down on hers, locking in pure passion. Her hands slides up, fastening themselves in my hair, while I let my hands slide around on her body, her nipples, her lower back, her perfect butt.
Her tongue traces my lips before forcing access to my mouth. I welcome it with my own, letting them massage each other.
She starts lifting my shirt, faster than humanly possible. I lift up my arms, letting the shirt fall to the floor. Her fingers are now tracing the muscles on my chest down to the rim of my jeans. She unbuttons them and opens the zipper. She starts moving the jeans down, then letting them fall to my ankles. I kick them off, now wearing as few pieces of clothing as she is.
The kissing never loses intensity; until I let my fingers trace the inside of the thigh. She trembles and lets out a deep breath, clearly pleased with my actions.
It's been too long to be without My Nessie...My beautiful Nessie
My hand pushes aside the panties, letting me feel her. I love how she is wet for me. I slip my fingers into her wet folder and start to move them around in a circular motion. I could tell she was enjoying my fingers touching her and she lets out another deep moan as my fingers slid deeper inside her.
…
Being with him bring all the good things back for me. The way he touches me is better than any dream I've had over the past few weeks.
His fingers are being pushed back and forward inside of me, he redraws his fingers before my climax and I get disappointed, but his lips are at my ears then.
"I don't want my fingers to get all the pleasure, Ness. I want to feel you on me." He kisses my throat as he slides down my panties, making them fall to the ground, then he does the same with his boxers, and then we are both naked.
Still fastened between him and the door, I once again feel the pressure of his full body on mine. Then I feel his erect manhood sliding into me. I let out another moan. He lifts me up, straddling me to him. His hips start to move, my panting becoming harder, as does his thrusts.
I let my head fall back against the door, arching my back as I can feel his hard breaths on my chest and hear his slight moans as we move rhythmically to for fill our desires.
He kisses my neck, scraping his canines down my throat to tease me, not yet sinking his teeth in me. I want to do the same to him
As the convulsions starts moving through my body, I move his head move forward to mine where he once again kisses me with more passion than I've ever experienced before. I can feel how he is close to his peak too, and then he kisses me on my neck before I can feel my razor-sharp teeth pierce through his skin.
First, I taste rich, warm blood feel my mouth, mmm...Jacob's blood and then a new kind of pleasure washes over me. Before I know it he lifts his head again, letting his lips close to my ear once more.
"I love it when you do that, Nessie. I want you, here and now. Forever. It's only you. It's always been you. Can you ever forgive me" he kisses my lips softly. I nodded into the kiss as it intensifies.
Now I finally see that Jacob is all mine, and I'm all his as I see the mark I made on his neck.
Forever us...