Why I love Him: Kud's Version!

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Author's Note: Contains hints of spoilers, if you never went through the game, you probably won't understand it.

Original Game: Little Busters Ecstasy

Original Concept: Key

Written by: wrathie

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I always remember how we met.

Me, alone and new in this new world, a world I had just entered into due to my own selfishness. Away from family, away from home, away from the place I know of.

To a new world that I had not seen before, but had heard before, smelt before, tasted before, experienced before I even stepped on this new land.

A brand new world, a world that I had dreamt about but not seen with my own eyes…

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I was led into the room, a room of new beginnings so I thought and as I looked around, at their faces, trying to imagine their names, imagine their names, who they are.

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Many questions went through my mind that day:

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Would they accept me? Would I seem odd?

I look different from them and from their eyes, I can tell that they know that.

But, I hope to be the same as them…

Somehow, in some way; even if it is a little, insignificant way.. that I can be the same.

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Yes, the same.

Even if it's the way we walk. Even if it's the way we dress.. even if it.. is the food that we eat.

I hope, to fit in.

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And so I spoke, in the way that I am expected to, in the language that I know is theirs.

I said my name.

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Noumi Kudryavka

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I gave my name, the name that I was given, the name of my family and my whole world was announced to the room.

And yet, and yet.

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They laughed…

Was it funny? Was I speaking a joke? Did I misunderstood the question?

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But no, I looked back at the person who brought me there and she was sighing, her face stern as she berated the class.

No, I had not been mistaken. So why… so why?

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I asked myself this as I looked to the floor. They, laughed at me?

But, I knew that they didn't mean to be mean.

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In a small part of my heart, a voice told me that:

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"They are not being mean. No one in this room meant to be mean…"

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A childish, hopeful and bright voice told me that and I raised my head to face the people again, all of them looking and discussing about me.

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But, I had forgotten the most important part…

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Oh yes, the reason I fell in love with him.

With my Riki, with him…

That's why I love him.

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As he did not laugh at me, in that fateful day. In my first day in my new world, a new world that I had ventured into.

He was the only person to not laugh at me.

He just sat there, smiling as he looked at me, his mouth mumbling what must be my name.

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I…

I fell in love with him.

I knew that, from the moment my heart skipped a beat.

Was it the same reason why I looked down? To hide my fluttering heart and blushing cheeks?

I do not know.

What I do know is…

That I loved him, then and there.

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In my heart, a blossoming bud of love was born. Just because he didn't laugh at me.

Why, oh why is love so weird and mysterious?

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I do not know. Not even the gods or the books that I read can give me an answer. Neither can the stars that I aspire to reach.

So I fell in love with him… but that is not the reason I love him.

Oh no, there are many ways for me to count, the way that I love him.

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From the way he tried to bring me around the campus, explaining to me in a language he is not familiar with. With his face flushed red from trying, his hand gestures trying to elaborate what he was saying to me.

I was sorry, really sorry that I had to lie to him.

Yes, I had to lie to him, to everyone for that day.

It is not that I really meant to lie, but I had my reasons..

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And here's the reason:

I wanted him to stay with me longer. Just being him made me happy, even if he was making a fool of himself.

Will he forgive me for being selfish?

Will he forgive me for wanting to be with him for as long as I can?

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I should tell him that one day, how adorable and cute he looked when I looked back at him eagerly, pretending not to understand him.

But that is just one of the reason…

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Another reason for my love is how he always seemed to be willing to help me.

Me, a person who belongs nowhere.

Me, a person who is not his people and not from the place I was born.

Me, Like the Bat who is not a land-dwelling animal nor a bird who belongs in the skies….

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It's always the smallest things that matter, that is what I always believe in.

And for him, the smallest things he did for me. The things that he did without thinking, unconsciously to help me…

Is the reasons that I love him.

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Yes, that is why I love him.

From the way he carries my things for me. From the way he looks over me while I am sleeping, overcame by tiredness under the shade.

From the way he shares my joy, playing with Strelka and Belka in the field.

And most importantly, watching me from behind my seat… trying, ever so slightly, to encourage me throughout each day.

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Why, I asked him why does he do such things?

Why does he bother with me?

Why does he defend me?

Why does he not mind being ridiculed even if it pierces my heart the way he was mocked by being with me?

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Why?

I asked him why… and he told me that…

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All he wanted in the world, was to be with me.

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That's why I love him.

From the first day I fell in love with him, I made a small wish that I can say it to him. That I loved him.

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From the start, I had feared, I had known, I had moments where I knew, I had believed that he loved another.

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But it was not her, the one who spends the most time with him…

But it was not her, the one who he spent alone on the roof.

But it was not her, the one who looks after him in a sisterly way.

But it was not her, the one who he looks after, reading by herself under a shaded umbrella.

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No, it was me that he was in love with.

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We, loved one another.

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And that is why, I loved him.

No, that is why, I, till now, still love him.

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My Riki, mine. No one else's…

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Yes, I was the one who confessed to him.

Yes, I was the one who pointed to him and said I wanted him to study with me.

Yes, I was the one who hugged him from behind after it was all done.

Yes, I was the one who kissed him first, on the chin.

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Yes, it was all I.

It was all what I had thought to be a one-sided crush.

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But no

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It was the same reasons that I love him that he loved me.

Or so he says.

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But does that matter?

I love him and he loves me.

Is there a reason for me to love him when there is no reason why he loves me?

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Is it how, in my darkest day, he told me to be brave and made me go… made me promised that I will return. Return home to him, return home to my Riki and all my friends?

Is it how, in my darkest hour.. I called him and felt relief when I heard his voice?

Is it how, in my darkest minute, I cried desperately for him to forget me? For him and my friends to be happy forever?

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Is it how, in my darkest second… that I gave up all hope.. that he gave me the strength, the will, the energy, my final breath… to break free from the cell that I had been imprisoned?

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Is that, why I love him?

Is that how, he is able to reach me, as far away as I am?

To feel my pain, to feel my thoughts.. to tell me, I cannot give up?

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I…

I do not know.

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But I know, that we are connected. Our hearts are one. Even if the sigils that symbolized our bond is wiped away.

Even if the men and women who hate me, who imprisoned me, had washed away all traces of the love I was showered with.

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I still, have my Riki.

I still have, the bond.

The promise…

The promise I made to return to him.

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And that's why.

Perhaps, that's why…

I love him.

Truly, tenderly, from the bottom of my heart.

I, Noumi Kudryavka love him.

My Riki.

My, Naoe Riki…

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Author's Note: Awaiting Kud Wafter's Translation. She deserves a sequel, even if the world she appears in is.. not really there.

To Key and Jun Maeda, my eternal thanks for creating such a fantastic Game. Note to all readers, Jun Maeda is my eternal idol and the person I look up on.