The Dead Pan Contest

Title: Take a Step that is New

Story/movie parodied: Three's Company

Pennames: Sapfirerose

Beta's pennames: A Redhead Thing

Characters: Eric, Sookie, Amelia, Maxine Fortenberry, Hoyt, and Tray

Disclaimer: The characters are definitely not mine, they belong to Charlaine Harris. The story idea belongs to the creators, writers, and producers of Three's Company and the original British version, Man About the House.

Summary: After throwing party for their old roommate, Sookie and Amelia get surprised by one of the party crashers. A Dead Pan Contest entry.

V—V

"Amelia, look at all this mess. It's going to take all day to clean up and we won't get a chance to sunbathe at all." Sookie pouted to her roommate.

It is Saturday morning, and Sookie and Amelia are cleaning up after the party they threw for their ex-roommate Pam the night before. Pam is leaving Santa Monica, California on her way to her new job and life in New York City.

"I love Pam and all but never again. I just got the last crasher out not too long ago. Remind me again, whose idea was it to throw the party on the night before she flies out?"

Walking into the living room, Amelia steps over and around trash bag mounds filled with paper cups and beer bottles. Handing Sookie a mug of coffee, she replies "Why Pam's, of course."

Looking at each other and clinking coffee mugs, they say together, "Figures."

Just then they hear noise coming from the bathroom, causing both girls to jump. Amelia decides to investigate and finds a man in there, sleeping in the tub. She grabs the nearest weapon to her, a plunger, and slowly backs out of room.

Running to Sookie , she frantically whispers, "There's a man asleep and snoring in our tub!"

"Well, how did he get in there!," Sookie whispers back.

"I don't know!," Amelia says wide-eyed. "He could be a friend of Pam's, or worse, a friend of a friend! I've never seen him before and I … I … hell, did you know any of the people in our house last night?"

Sookie thinks about it, shrugs and says, "Pam is popular. Well, let's not just sit here; we have to find out who he is." She moves like she's about to go into the bathroom, when Amelia pulls her back.

"Wait! What if he's armed?"

"Well what should we do, call the police? He could wake up by then." She grabs an umbrella from the stand next to the door. "Follow my lead."

Both girls tiptoe into the bathroom holding their weapons like firearms. Sookie turns on the shower and sprays cold water on the intruder to wake him up. The girls start to scream as the man tries to get up. Amelia shouts rather forcefully, "Put down your weapon!"

Both the man and Sookie look at Amelia, then each other and burst out laughing. Amelia pretends for a second that her feelings are hurt but gets over it and asks, "Who are you?"

The man stands to his full height of 6 foot 5 inches with a soaked black t-shirt clinging to his frame, lets loose a charming smile and says, "I'm Eric Northman."

In unison, the girls utter an "Unf!", and then fall silent as they take in all of Eric from head to toe.

Eric smirks, taking his cue to continue talking, and tells them that he and Pam are childhood friends and she invited him to crash at their place for the night. Since everyone was wasted last night, he couldn't find a place to crash, so he picked the tub of what was left to choose from.

"Bull! Why didn't Pam introduce you to us?" Sookie asked suspiciously.

"Well, she tried to flag you down, but you were too busy dancing with your friend, um Tara? And I think Pam said you had two or four gin and tonics too many. Something like that," he says as he looks into Sookie's beautiful blue eyes. "And I think you disappeared with Tray, Amelia, before I could get a word in."

Amelia pipes up, "Ooooh. I remember now. You're that friend that Pam said was coming in town from back east. Something about being a Sous Chef and coming to work for a new restaurant in town."

Eric still looking at Sookie says, "One in the same. Nice to meet you all."

Sookie blushes, and clears her throat. "Oh I'm , oops, you're all wet. I guess we should dry you off before sending you on your way."

Eric chuckles when Amelia pipes in. "Well, we don't have a dryer but maybe we can try to help dry your clothes by tossing them in the oven. I may have something of Tray's here you can put on. I'll be back."

Amelia runs to go find something for Eric to wear, as he starts to pull off his wet shirt and unbuttons his jeans.

"Oh! Umm .. I'll let you get out of those wet clothes. Yeah. Umm if you need any help or me. Or er … yeah." Sookie closes the door and leans against it trying to calm down. Man, it's been way too long.

Amelia walks down the hall as Eric cracks open the door and Sookie almost falls through the frame. Sookie grabs the wet clothes Eric hands out as Amelia thrusts something in. "Sorry, it's all I could find! We'll have your clothes dry in a jiff!"

Sookie hears Eric groan, "Are you serious?" and looks at Amelia as she drags her into the kitchen.

"Sooks, I think he likes you. You should totally go for it!"

"Meelz! We barely know the guy. Pssh .. go for what?"

"You can't hide it. I saw how you were all googly eyed for that hot bod. He looks good and lord knows that it's been too long for you. When was your last romance? Oh."

"Don't remind me about that blip with Quinn. It was .."

Sookie stops short seeing Eric walk into the kitchen in one of Amelia's short kimono robes, her eyes traveling straight to his well toned legs. I wonder what the rest of him looks like beneath that thing.

Amelia looks at Eric and tries not to laugh. "I said I was sorry. Tray took his laundry home and that's the loosest thing I have to fit you." Then she giggles out, "At least the blue brings out the sparkle in your eyes." Eric glowers for a second, but his good sense of humor has him chuckling in no time. "So what are you girls making us for breakfast."

The girls look at each other and the giggles start all over again. Sookie explains that Pam handled the breakfast for the trio. Eric decides to go ahead and put his culinary skills on display. While cooking and chatting, Eric learns that Sookie is an aspiring writer who is a waitress at a bar nearby, and Amelia is an artist who gets her bills paid working at a department store.

"Eric, this is so good! I've never had a gourmet breakfast at home before." Everyone continues eating and Eric basks in the enjoyment of listening to Sookie and Amelia have food orgasms over his cooking, when Amelia suddenly blurts out, "You should move in with us!"

"Amelia!"

"What Sookie? Another roommate would certainly help with rent. It's either that or give up our wonderful apartment by the beach; and I know you don't want to make that sacrifice."

"But … but … we don't know anything about him. Eric don't you have a place lined up?"

"Well, I was planning to stay at the YMCA …"

Amelia quickly cuts him off saying, "That settles it! We have a new roommate. Sookie, we can't let Pam's childhood friend stay on a cot at the men's club when we have room here."

Sookie looks at Amelia and then looks into Eric's hopeful eyes. How can I say 'no' when he looks at me like that with those dreamy eyes and kissable lips? Sookie, shaking herself out of her reverie, says, "Okay."

Everyone looks at each other and starts to smile.

Meanwhile in the downstairs apartment Maxine Fortenberry, the landlord, decides to pay her tenants a visit. She's still bothered about all the noise from the party last night and wants to make sure that it is the last time that happens, or they are all out.

At the sound of the doorbell ringing the girls instinctively look at each other and say, "Ms. Fortenberry!" Amelia turns to Eric and tells him that he has to stay in the kitchen because their landlord is an old fashioned busy body who would have a conniption if she found out about him. Amelia runs out of the kitchen to try and run interference with Ms. Fortenberry.

Sookie goes to the oven and grabs Eric's clothes out with oven mitts. "Ooh it's hot!".

Eric starts to say, "Look, I don't want to get you girls in trouble …" , when Maxine barges in the kitchen to discovers Eric there. Startled, she walks back out and leaves the apartment to go get Hoyt.

"Hoyt! Where are you? I need you to go upstairs and help me."

"What now, Mama?"

"Those girls, those unmarried, young, impressionable girls, have a half naked young man upstairs in their apartment. I need you to help me find out what is up and kick him out of there immediately."

"Oh Mama, I really don't want to butt into their private lives. He could be Sookie or Amelia's boyfriend."

"Hoyt! Do as I say! And he's not. Why would he be naked in front of both girls and wearing such a ridiculous outfit? I think he's a weirdo and he needs to go. Plus, if he's dating those girls, he should do it more proper like, and not gallivant around like some Chippendale's dancer for all of California to see!"

Hoyt rolls his eyes and says nothing. Realizing if he just goes upstairs to see what this fuss is about, his mother will leave him alone afterward. Hoyt recently met Jessica over at Amelia and Sookie's and doesn't want to do anything to jeopardize the possibilities there.

Eric enters the kitchen to join Sookie, fully dressed, when Maxine barges into the apartment with Hoyt in tow. Amelia runs out to talk to both of them while Sookie and Eric are left in the kitchen.

"So …" Eric walks over to the counter and stands next to Sookie, who is cleaning the counters and fussing with the non-existent mess Eric left in the kitchen. "Do you have a policy on dating roommates?"

Sookie about to turn crimson, thinks to herself, No stamp that shit out right now. It's time you woman up and stop being so shy. She sucks in her bottom lip and goes for it. "Well, I wouldn't say I have a policy, when up until now most of my roommates weren't my preference."

It's Eric turn to stammer as he finds that he desires most to be held under Sookie's intense glare in more favorable circumstances with less people in the next room. As he is about to reply, Amelia saunters in the room and plops down at the kitchen table, "Whew, problem solved."

Both Eric and Sookie turn and look at her as she says, "Ms. Fortenberry was about to kick us all out on our butts, but I handled everything," she said smoothly as she checked out her nails.

"What! What happened? You can't tell us that and just not finish," Sookie exclaims. Eric begins to wonder if situations in this house are always this high-strung.

"Well, after Pam's party and now a naked man, her words not mine, she said she didn't know if we could be trusted not to have strange men running in and out of our place."

"Oh please, we've lived here for a year and a half and never given her problems before!"

"That's what I said, but she started to go on her high-horse rant. So that's when I told her that Eric was gay."

It was Eric's turn to pipe up, "You said what?"

"I told her you were gay. It's no biggie, she doesn't want girls who are 'sexual' freaks living in our building. And she was definitely against the, and major quote marks here, 'living in sin' thing. So I told her that you aren't in to either of us." She looked at Sookie when she said that last part. "Ms. Fortenberry bought it hook, line and sinker."

"But Meelz that's such a lie." Sookie avoided looking at Eric when she said that part. As he started to move a bit closer to Sookie to mutter so that only she could hear, "On both fronts."

"Well, I know that! But Ms. Fortenberry doesn't have to. Just don't let her see you flirting with girls or bringing them back to our place and we'll be fine. I'm sure you would agree that acting gay and staying here beats living at the YMCA any day."

"Well yeah …"

Amelia cut him off. "Then it's settled. Why don't you go get your stuff and Sookie and I will get your new room ready for you."

Eric agrees, looking at Sookie and giving her the I'm-not-through-with-you-look and heads out to get his stuff.

"Meelz I sure hope you know what you are doing. If Ms. Fortenberry finds out, we are all going to be out on our butts. At least HE has the Y to go to."

"We have bigger things to think about than that busy body ol' Ms. Fortenberry. We are doing her a favor by moving Eric in. Rent will be on time. Now; I'm wondering how we can ramp up that chemistry I see between you too get the magic started."

"You better mind your own business, Amelia Broadway. You don't see me meddling in your life. I'm fine where I am."

"Well my life doesn't need meddling with. But you could do with some spicing up. Bet it will help you ease out that writing block for your novel."

Sookie didn't say a word, and they started to clean the apartment again as if all the excitement didn't happen. Later that day, Eric returned with his gear and the new roommates settled in to their new situation with ease.

As the weeks went by the heavy flirting between Sookie and Eric became very noticeable to Amelia and their close friends. Bill, their neighbor, whom Eric became friends with, even mentioned it a couple of times. Bill was known as the apartment building's ladies man, so it took a lot of explaining to get Ms. Fortenberry to continue to think Eric was gay. Hoyt on the other hand never fell for it, so he was with the gang in explaining away Eric to his Mom.

After a non-double date, when Eric and Sookie went out with Bill and Selah, Bill's latest flavor of the month, Ms. Fortenberry caught Eric and Sookie in the hallway standing particularly close to one another. When Ms. Fortenberry rounded the corner, Eric had to think quickly and told Sookie her shoes totally did not work with her outfit and that she had to go change if she wanted to hang out with him. Needless to say, Sookie didn't talk to Eric for a couple days after that one.

Or the time when Eric brought his co-worker Lafayette home from work to help convince Ms. Fortenberry because she'd caught Eric coming out of Sookie's room one morning after a late night of drinks and talking. Lafayette had the gang rolling at his heavy flirting and descriptions of his all kinds of nasty and fantastic Eric dreams. Ms. Fortenberry left before Lafayette could finish one sentence.

With this gang, it was always fun and games that included the time Eric put on a hot pink leotard and went to a beach yoga class with Amelia and Sookie just for laughs.

One Saturday, the gang decided to hit the Regal Beagle for some fun. The bartender, Sam Merlotte, was a good friend so the drinks were especially good. Before anyone really noticed what was happening, the friends started pairing off into couples and leaving the bar separately. Pretty soon, Eric and Sookie left and walked to the beach to sit and watch the waves.

As they settled in a nice quiet spot on the now deserted beach, Sookie closed her eyes and leaned back to take in the ocean breeze. Watching her, Eric took a deep breath and said, "I want to kiss you."

Opening her eyes, Sookie focused on Eric's. She started to sit up but Eric met her halfway and began to kiss her. What started off sweet and slow grew very deep and passionate when their tongues touched, and the heat of their true feelings ignited.

Eric gently laid Sookie in the sand as he lightly leaned on her. Sookie pulled him closer, wanting to feel his body flush against hers. Her hands began to travel under Eric's shirt as the kiss deepened still. Eric, unable to hide his excitement, placed himself over Sookie and started trailing kisses from her ear, down her neck, to her collar bone. Taking Sookie's body responses and moans as a cue to keep moving, Eric slowly kissed and licked down the front of her sundress, eventually making his way to her erect nipples.

In response to his fluid movements, Sookie longed to bring him closer still, to have him touch and kiss her more and moaned, "More, Eric."

Hearing her request, and even though he wanted to, Eric decided that this wasn't the place he wanted to finally make love to Sookie, so he told her in a husky voice, "Not here."

Resigned, she knew he was right, but that didn't stop her body from doing a frustrated wiggle, causing Eric to groan and involuntarily hump her in response. He smirked and said, "Woman calm down or I'll be forced to lift your dress and have you here. Now let's get out of here before Ms. Fortenberry sends a search party and you won't be able to join me in my bed."

Sookie smiled, but said, "What does this mean for us, Eric? Are you going to have to come clean and move out?"

"I don't see why I would? Part of the fun is finding ways around her; I mean, eventually we will have to, but I'd rather work on our new relationship instead of worrying about other people."

"Relationship? Does that mean …"

Eric pulled her lips to his for another toe curling kiss and said, "If you wouldn't mind a gay boyfriend who can cook and has had a thing for his roommate since he first met her, then yes."

Sookie grinned and bit her lip as if she was thinking about it. Eric groaned, "See! That's how you got me. Nevermind, I'm taking you here, for all the world and hobos to see."

Sookie shook her head, giggled, got up and started to head towards the apartment with Eric in tow. They made it to Eric's room in no time and thus consummated the beginning of a wonderful relationship.

The next morning, when Amelia and Tray stumbled into an empty kitchen with no hot breakfast, Amelia decided to go wake Eric, when Tray grabbed her and said, "I think I can whip up a gourmet style bowl of Fruit Loops for you."

Amelia seeing the t-shirt on the doorknob with one of Sookie's shoes, caught the hint and followed her lover back into the kitchen and asked, "Will that be with organic milk or the other kind?"

A/N This is officially my first fanfiction story that I entered into the Dead Pan contest. I didn't enter specifically to win but just to get my feet wet. For those of you thinking of writing, I highly recommending entering a contest or challenge. I had a deadline and just enough support to push me over the hump.

And speaking of support. Many thinks to my Wonder Triplets, or WTs ... A Redhead Thing and Missus T. You guys are the beez kneez and always a creative source for me even when you don't know it. Also, I'd like to think Northwoman, BonTempsCutie and all the other gals on Twitter who think gave me that oomph of support when I was ready to turn chicken and run.

Self pimpage Ahead: If you haven't heard already, I have this little blog called My SVM Addiction. (http: / mysvmaddiction [dot] blogspot [dot] com ) where I promote fics daily. Lubadub calls me a fanfic pimp and I embrace that title fully. So stop by and say hi anytime. Links are also in my profile if you aren't into copying, pasting, and removing spaces and junk.

Oh last thing .. if you would kindly review, I'm so interested in what you guys thought of my first story. *besos*