Disclaimer: I own nothing. South Park and it's characters belong to Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

Bad Romance

Chapter One

Whack! Whack! Whack! Wendy flinched, her fists clutched in anger. Eric Cartman was sitting behind her playing with his ruler. Humming to himself, he let the shinning green plastic hit the dark haired girl more than a couple of times.

"Damnit Eric stop it!" Wendy hissed under her breath. Their eleventh grade maths teacher Miss. Timms was so frail that she could barely hear. Wendy knew that she couldn't rely on the old bidie to dispose of Cartman for her.

Cartman paid no attention to the class president. He continued to hum and whack the ruler harder against her chair.

"Godamnit grow up!" Wendy's hiss became a snarl. Usually his abuse wouldn't have progressed any further. Normally, her boyfriend Stan would have shut him up by now and Cartman being the wuss he was would have cowered.

But Stan wasn't here today, he had gotten a wrist fracture from last week's game and was in hospital having it plastered. Wendy was going to visit him after school. She just couldn't wait to be out of here. Why did last period have to drag so much?

"Ooh is someone on their rags today, heavy flo huh Wendy?" Cartman leant forward in his chair whispering to Wendy with a smirk on his lips.

"Cartman I swear-"

"Swear what? What can you possibly do Wendy? Seriously I'm interested" he still hadn't moved back and Wendy was unnerved by his hot breath on her back. It made the hairs on her neck rise.

"Swear that unless you shut the hell up right now I'll kick you arse after school, I've done it before I can do it again" Wendy snarled but Cartman just sniggered. He finally lent back into his seat chuckling to himself.

Wendy would never let him forget the fact that she had so totally handed his arse to him that one day after school especially since as the two grew older Cartman's antagonist ways only grew worse. Why did Stan still hang out with that arsehole?

It was probably not the best idea to bait him in a fight nowadays anyway. A lot of Cartman's weight had shifted over the years, not that he still wasn't overweight, he was, but he was more solid. His shoulders were broader and his arms more toned. Still an arsehole though.

Just as Wendy thought it was safe to go back to the notes that Miss. Timms was writing down she felt a spit ball hit the back of her head. Seething, she turned around in her chair to see Cartman waving at her. She felt the last drop of her patience boil in her veins as she swung around violently in her desk. She grabbed her maths textbook and smacked it against Cartman's head. Even feeble Miss. Timms couldn't miss that.

"W-w-wendy!" she croaked.

Cartman's ever present smirk seemed to grow larger. "Ah now you've done it" he said.

"Miss Timms I can explain-"

"You can go explain to Mr. Kendall in detention!"

Furious and frustrated Wendy knew there was no point in arguing. She gathered all of her stuff up and Cartman gave her another coy wave.

"See you later girlfriend".

"What took you so long?" Stan smiled up at his long term on again off again girlfriend of the past ten years.

"Freaking Cartman got me detention" Wendy sighed. When she looked up at her boyfriend's smiling face she felt her anger melt away. Stan was one of the most mellow guys she had ever known. He had, after all, somehow managed to remain peacekeeper between Cartman and Kyle over all these years.

Stan opened his arms, his newly plastered hand weighing him down slightly, but it wasn't as if he hadn't had injuries like this before. Wendy fell against him glad that not all guys were like Eric Cartman.

Stan moved his hand up to stroke her hair and then became aware of the cast. "Damnit, guess this going to get in way of things huh" he raised his eyebrows suggestively and Wendy blushed. Despite the fact that all around them couples were jumping in and out of each other's pants, Wendy and Stan had not had sex. Not that Stan hadn't pushed for it. Wendy just didn't feel ready and he respected that.

"So what's been happening at school?" Stan asked.

"You've only been away for like a day Stan" Wendy smiled but she was happy that he wanted to talk.

"Well a day is enough time for the entire town to explode or get taken over by spacemen from the future".

"Nothing that extreme" Wendy sighed. "Bebe is in full swing about this party she's planning at Token's to celebrate the end of semester. You better tell Kyle to watch himself, she's got her eye on him again"

Stan chuckled. "Would do the poor kid some good, he's more stressed about study than you are".

"I'm not stressed about study" Wendy gritted her teeth. It was partly true. She could always arrange for the offending teacher to be blown up if need be. She had developed good contacts in her eighteen years.

"Speaking of Kyle, he's coming around later you can brief him on Bebe's plan of attack yourself" Stan said.

"Oh" Wendy's face fell a little. She had expected to have Stan all to herself for the night but no he and Kyle were joined to the hip. "That's okay I'll go"

"No Wendy that's not what I said, we can hang out together, Kyle doesn't mind".

Wendy knew that wasn't true. She and Kyle got along well enough but for more Stan's sake. He was a nice enough kid and everything but Wendy just couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't like her.

"No really, I don't want to interrupt super best friend time" Wendy couldn't help the trace of sarcasm leaving her lips.

"Wendy please" Stan said holding onto her. "Kyle likes hanging out with you know, he thinks you're cool".

"Stan it's fine" Wendy said a little harsher than she had meant too. She saw the look on Stan's face and leaned in to kiss him. "I'll see you at school tomorrow okay".

Getting time with Stan tomorrow was harder than it should have been. God, he had only missed a day of school and everyone was gathering around the quarterback like he was some kind of saviour. Wendy could barely get near him.

She watched everyone milling around him, signing his cast and asking about the operation. None of them closer than Kyle who had a huge goofy smile plastered across his face. Fuck! Couldn't he just ease off a bit? How much time did they need together?

"Worried Jew Fag is going to steal your boyfriend bitch" a snide voice tickled her ear and she froze. Cartman had somehow snuck up on her and was now just inches away from her.

"Don't you have anything better to do?" she snarled her eyes still on Stan and Kyle. She watched as the red head leaned and whispered something in Stan's ear. The two of them both started laughing uncontrollably. Kyle clapped his friend over the back and made his way to his own locker.

"Can't say I blame you since the Jew rat is looking pretty feminine these days, maybe you should consider a push up bra, some nice shapewear" Cartman leant in closer and Wendy felt herself shiver.

Wendy spun around, Cartman was so close to her that her head nearly collided with his chest. When had he gotten so tall?

"Listen dickwad! How about you find yourself a hobby that doesn't involve stuffing your fat fucking face and taking cheap shots at everyone who walks by! That way you might be able to take the first big steps into getting a fucking life!"

"Wendy Testaberger!" a shocked looking Principle Ronald was staring right at her. Fuck, was nothing going to go right today. "I have never heard such rotten language!"

Well you must be fucking deaf! Wendy wanted to say but didn't. That was probably the cleanest piece of language that the Principle was likely to hear in these corridors.

"I apologize sir but you see Cartman here was-"

"No excuses! Report for detention sign up!" The Principle cut her off. "I think a week should do it"

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha" Cartman mocked.

"You too Eric!"

Wendy felt a childish urge to poke her tongue out at him but somehow restrained herself.

"Bitch!" Cartman muttered as Wendy turned on her heal and stomped towards room 205 hoping to shake off Cartman.

No such luck.

"Oh nooo, Wendy's got detention! Guess she can kiss Harvard and Yale goodbye" Why did he also have to stay so close to her?

"Watch it fatass! You want to get beat up again?"

"Oh boy that's real original really? Bravo, Wendy, Bravo".

Wendy sighed. A whole week in detention with this dick was going to kill her.

Wendy found her best friend Bebe in the lunch room in their spare period. She sat herself down beside her opening up her bag to get her books out.

"Wow" Bebe said noticing her friend's aggressive demeanor. "Go on, what's up?"

"Grrrr" Wendy spat exasperated.

Bebe turned away from her notebook to stare. Wendy had been so stressed lately because of the exams but this was a bit much.

"Is it Stan?'"

"No it's not Stan!" Wendy snapped. Although his distant behaviour hadn't exactly been helping.

"Whoa! Okay, okay" the blonde haired girl placed a reassuring hand on her best friend's shoulder. "We have a whole spare for you to tell me about it, then you can help me narrow down my selection of dresses for the party".

Wendy gaped. She saw that her best friend was not actually doing her homework but had actually gathered a selection of photos of herself in a variety of dresses and was writing down the pros and cons of each. Unbelievable.

Bebe, of course was undeniably the most beautiful girl at school, ever since primary school when she started growing boobs before any of the other girls she had managed to hold the boy's attention. She could have had any guy or possibly a few girls that she set her eye on, but she had her eye firmly fixed on Kyle for as long as Wendy could remember and he just didn't seem to return the affection.

Wendy sighed deeply. "It's nothing, and everything" she started. "Cartman got me into trouble again and now I have to spend a whole week in detention with him".

"Bummer" Bebe said more interested in her collection of photos.

"It's like, I can't get rid of him wherever I go he's following me, like's he got a radar for whenever I fuck up" Wendy went on not really caring that the blonde girl wasn't listening, she just needed to get it off her chest.

"He does seem to have it in for you, don't take it personally Wendy, that guy picks on everyone" Bebe tried to put effort into being sympathetic but she just couldn't' take her eyes of the dresses. She had to admit she looked good, it was going to be hard to choose.

"Can you leave the dresses for a moment, I've got to spend a whole week of detentions with him, what am I going to do?"

Bebe looked up surprised at the outburst. "I think you're being a bit dramatic Wends, they'll be plenty of people in detention that he'll pick on over you, so long as there's a red head or a Jew or an African American, or a homosexual or a hippie or a midget or a Canadian or a-" Bebe paused realizing how useless it was to go on since Cartman basically had it out for the entire human race "you'll be fine".

Stan met Wendy at her locker at the end of the school day. It was the first time that she had talked to him all afternoon.

"Hey" He said with a smile moving into kiss her. "You want come over tonight, it will just be me, well and Shelley but she'll probably go out".

Wendy sighed. "I've got detention, thanks to your friend Cartman"

Stan took a step back surprised at the vitriol.

"Whoa the Principle gave you detention for that?"

"He said that he'd never heard such bad language" Wendy folded her arms annoyed.

Stan burst out laughing.

"It's not funny Stan".

"Sorry" Stan said doing the best he could to wipe the smile from his face. "It's just swearing pretty much makes up the majority of everyone's vocabulary in South Park".

"I know" Wendy said slumping against her locker. "So, I'm sorry I can't come over okay, I better go, I'm running late"

She kissed him quickly on the lips and hurried off to detention hoping that Bebe was right about Cartman.

Walking down the hallway to the detention room, she opened the door and found an empty room. Well, she was early. How many kids would come to detention early, she thought.

Sitting down at the desk she opened up a book. How bad could this really be? It would be easier to study here than it would be at home. Apart from the blotch on her permanent record it really wasn't a punishment at all.

"And so the fun begins"

Wendy jumped. Cartman had snuck up on her, since he was no longer as blobby he could move around like a snake. Suited him really.

"Can't you just leave me alone Cartman" Wendy didn't have the mental strength for these kind of quips today, maybe if she didn't retaliate he would just leave her alone.

"Whatever you know you want me ho" Cartman leaned on her desk leering suggestively. Wendy hit his elbow and the prick fell face down. Wendy couldn't help but laugh.

"You'll pay for that bitch! Mess this beautiful face up"

"Didn't really take much effort" Wendy said feigning carelessness. "Most of my work was already done for me"

Cartman didn't look put out he simply raised his eyebrows. "Really? So then why do you keep staring at me Wendy? Explain that one to me hmmm"

His face was perilously close to her own. If either of them moved forward an inch they would have touched noses. Wendy froze trying to gather her thoughts and then realized she couldn't think of anything to say. Words had utterly failed her. She just stared at Cartman trying to vocalize her anger, trying to vocalize something…. Anything. Goddamn where was their supervisor.

She felt herself turn red. Cartman snickered.

"I know you can't resist me" he said. This time Wendy was able to clench her fist and hit Cartman square in the jaw.

"Ms. Testaberger!"

There was the fucking supervisior.

"You know that violence isn't the solution that's another week of detention for you!"

Cartman poked his tongue out at her then slid away finding a desk to sit at.

"Ah not so fast Eric, since it is somewhat miraculously only the two of you in detention today, we're going to have you do something more practical, grab your stuff and follow me".

The pair of them groaned and followed the supervisor, Mr. Kendall, down the hall and to the library.

"Okay, all of these books need shelving, we have the shelves set up at the back here, where I'll be able to supervise, detention isn't over until they all stacked away neatly and in alphabetical order okay!"

Wendy sighed there must have been hundreds of boxes of books. She knew that Cartman wasn't going to help her. She opened up a box and started sorting the books into piles. Mr. Kendall waited for all of five minutes before going to make a call. Leaving the pair completely unsupervised.

Wendy turned to Cartman frustrated. He had made a pretence of helping while the counselor was still there but had now pulled out his iphone and began playing with an app.

"Aren't you going to help at all fatass!"

"Why should I? If only we could call some godamn Mexicans, they'd do this"

"You're such a racist prick!"

"How is that racist? I'm just saying they're helpful, that's all"

"You're saying that certain work is below you!" Wendy took a step closer and pointed her finger into Cartman's face. Why was she getting so close to him?

Cartman put the ipod away and grabbed hold of her finger. Smirking for a moment he bent his head down and licked it.

A spark shot through Wendy's body and she immediately stepped away. "Gross!"

"You know you liked it" Cartman said to Wendy's surprised he had actually turned away and was opening up the boxes preparing to sort the books inside.

"Whatever" Wendy snapped, trying to go back to the books, still blushing. Why did she let him get to her so much? She couldn't wait until detention was over.