Epilogue

Picking Up Pieces

She lay in bed, beneath her floral sheets, but she did not go to sleep. She wriggled, tosing and turning, but the porcupine was unable to relax. What had she done? This was probably the worst thing that's happened to her so far. And she knew there would be no real fixing.

She needed to talk to someone.

I really need to talk with you...

That morning, when she'd woken up in the hospital tree, there had been no one to welcome her back. Not Flippy, not Giggles or Petunia. And not Sniffles. She didn't even see him as she walked out of the tree. Flaky tried to keep away from the busy town. She cut through the trees to get back to her house. Unfortunetly, Mime and Toothy had been hiking and she'd caught sight of them. The second they saw her they screamed and ran off. It hurt Flaky. They hadn't died, so the torture and pain was still fresh on their minds.

I keep stepping on the vain that keeps my lifeline flowing through

I wanna be your perfect stick of glue...

Flaky approached her house, a hole growing deep inside of her. She wanted to blame it on her Other side, on her anger. But she knew she couldn't. Because Flaky knew, and everyone else knew, that before the point when she ate the idol's power, it had been her all the way. The Anger and Revenge had only pushed her along. The Tree Friend's bottom lip quivered. Would her friends ever forgive her? How could they?

But I don't feel perfect at all

Sad and insecure flaw

Yeah...

Later that day Petunia and Giggles came over. Flaky didn't want to talk, but they seemed anxious to see her. Petunia was staring at her with suspicious eyes, but Giggles, though she hadn't died since the incident, seemed happy to see Flaky back to normal. She hugged her friend and told her that it was alright, and that she and Petunia had decided to forgive her.

Something seemed different about Giggles. She was standing up straighter, kept her smiling to a minimum, and barely giggled during their visit. Flaky wondered if it was - dispite her kind words - still because she was afraid. But maybe the chipmunk was just growing up. Perhaps she was more mature than the others thought her to be.

The visit was short. Petunia and Giggles kept trying to cheer Flaky up, but the porcupine didn't know what to say at all. She kept choking on her words, stuttering, and whenever they tried to change the subject a little bit of her was pained. They were trying so hard. But it just wasn't going to work.

I find it hard to hold conversations

I get sweaty sick and I wanna walk away

Naw, it's not you, it's strickly me in this situation

She bid them both a farewell and watched them as they left the small clearing. Flaky leaned against the doorway, listening to the soft sputtering of the lake running behind her.

But I'm wondering if it'll ever go away?

Flaky closed the door and turned away to face the rest of this lonely day.

Just go away...

Stop

Flaky sat up in bed. She decided to give up on sleeping, since it wasn't going to happen. The throbbing in her chest was too much. She'd hurt all of her friends, and it had given her pleasure. Flaky... she thought she'd forgiven herself. At the time, as Flippy was pulling the knife from her chest, Flaky had felt so content, so at peace with herself. It was as if all of the worries and consequences for her actions didn't exist. But now Flaky realized just how much things were going to have to change.

Sometimes I feel like weeping

Awake and when I'm sleeping

Perfecting how to put a game face on

And this puzzle I've been keeping

has been in hiding, creeping out the closet door

spilling out onto the floor

How long will I be picking up pieces?

Flaky stepped out of bed and grabbed a sweater. Pulling it on, she walked towards the front door. But she stopped as she spotted something lying on the floor. Bending over, she realize that it was a clay doll of herself. When had she made this? She didn't remember making it along with all of the others. She looked at it in the gloom. It wasn' soft, and it didn't give off the pulses of power like the others did. Maybe she'd made this from the first batch of clay, the one that she hadn't mixed the powder with.

The tiny Flaky was smiling shyling, hands in front of her, rubbing against each other in worry. Her spikes were down. Her eyes were looking down at her feet, which were rubbing against each other in nervousness. As Flaky held this little doll in her hands, she ran a finger across the face. It was so smooth, so worried, so shy.

But Flaky knew her face would never look like that. Not anymore.

How long will I be picking up my heart?

Flaky left the stump and made her way through the woods. It was dark and very cold. Autumn leaves crunched beneath her footfalls; the sound and smells around her were pleasent. When Flaky was bent on revenge, she hadn't noticed how all of the leaves were changing their colors. She always liked fall. It was her favorite season.

The wind made her quills shudder. Flaky pulled her sweater closer, shoving her hands into the pockets. She didn't know exactly where she was going, but she allowed her body to take control and lead while she thought. There was indeed too much to think about. Flaky needed to get through this time, to learn to live with her new self. It had only been a few weeks, but Flaky was a completely different person now. In a way it was good. Though her anger had led her, it had also shown her how much of a person Flaky was capable of being. Flaky knew what it was like to be confident, and outgoing. Flaky had enjoyed the short time of power she felt. It made her feel good knowing that she was capable of that.

Flaky looked up. She was out of the forest now, at the edge of the border. Before her was a large overhanging that looked beyond Happy Tree Valley. You could see everything for miles, all of the things that you'd never see here. It was one of Flaky's favorite places to be when she was lonely or needed to think.

But the cliff was already occupied. Flaky hid behind a tree. She coudn't tell who it was, becaus the light of the moon reduced them to a silhouette. She sighed. Maybe she should just turn back. She didn't want to disturb anyone. Flaky looked around the tree, trying to get a closer look. She then realized she recognized them. Flaky sighed, taking a deep breath and headed towards him.

"Hey..."

Listen...

Flippy didn't look, but greeted her back. "Hi Flaky. Isn't it a little late for a walk?"

"I could ask you the same thing."

"True."

"So..."

"How are things going?"

Flaky lifted her eyes from the rocky ground and looked over to Flippy. The bear was looking away from her. The porcupine thought it was because he didn't want to look at her. She sighed, lip quivering, and kicked a rock off of the cliff. "Nothing much..."

In reality it was because he was hiding his blush. "Oh. I... Sorry I had to kill you. But you know..."

"It's alright. I'm not angry at you; thank you for doing it. I was really getting tired of hearing myself talk." Flippy chuckled and looked back at the female beside him. He'd never realized how pretty Flaky was. Everything about her, from her face to her danduff just seemed to fit. Nothing about her was mismatched. And the way her fur caught the moonlight - ah, just beautiful.

Flippy sighed. He sounded like a lovesick puppy. This must be how Cuddles feels around Giggles.

Flippy noticed Flaky's sad face. He took a step closer. "Flaky, are you okay with how this ended?" Flaky looked up at the bear and found refuge in his eyes. She felt she could trust him.

I'll be as honest as I feel

I feel like I'm getting more paranoid, 'cause I'm hearing things

and they never turn out real

Flaky shrugged, letting her gaze sweep over the scenery before them. Trees, mountains, billions of stars. Yet it didn't do anything to cheer her up. "Sniffles hates me," she muttered. "I know he does. The others won't come near me. Giggles said she forgave me, but..." Flaky's eyes were swelling with tears she'd been trying to keep away. "It just feels so icky, you know? I hurt my friends and I killed a few of them, and... I just feel horrible. I'd forgiven myself for being angry but... I don't think I've gotten over what I did. Maybe I never will..."

It feels like my heart is made of pure steel

It's just so heavy all the time

"Flaky, what was life like before you found Happy Tree Valley?" Flaky looked up at the unexpected question. Flippy was staring out at the mountains, his jacket hovering against the breeze. Flaky took a moment to think over his question. Wiping away the tears, she muttered, "I was really young when I first came to the valley. I'd been seperated from my parents. I used to live in this forest area, like kind of like the valley. My parents were nice, but I don't remember them very much. Why?"

"No reason." They stood in silence. Then Flaky said, not wanting to stop speaking, "I think I did it because I was annoyed at dying all of the time. It still terrifies me, even though I know we get Reborn. But it still hurts, and I remember the pain."

Flippy looked at her sadly. Flaky died a lot - Flippy was one of the only friends who didn't die almost every day. He just did most of the killing. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"It's not your fault. I just don't like it; I guess I got fed up with dying and decided to make it stop."

I'm scared of death

I'm scared of living

Shit...

I gave up on the past 'cause it's unforgiving

"I thought Sniffles would understand," Flaky continued. "But I guess I pushed him too much. I mean..." Flippy shifted his feet so that he faced the porcupine. "What?"

"It's just, I never knew that he liked me. Ever. I wonder how I never noticed. But when I'd changed, I saw his affection almost immediately. And the first thought that came to my mind was 'I can use this'. I feel awful! How could I have screwed up so badly..." Flippy was frowning. He looked away and muttered, "So, you like Sniffles back?"

Flaky blinked in surprise. "I... No, not really, I don't think. I've always thought of Sniffles as just a friend. I mean, he's really nice and smart, but I just don't think it'd work out between us.

She didn't see Flippy's shoulders relax. "But I still feel awful for using him," Flaky said. She sighed. "I lost a lot of people's trust because of my anger."

I misplaced my trust

I watch my word begin to rust

I'm that balloon about to bust

I need a place for reliving

Still...

The tears were flowing now. Flaky didn't know what to say to make them stop. She allowed herself to cry, holding her head in her hands. She tried to do it as quietly as possible, but the sobs came in surprising bursts. She never thought she could hurt this much. She felt like a total contradiction of the Flaky that had destroyed that anger. She missed her friends, and it hurt to have their backs facing her now.

Flippy watched, concern and unease lining his face. The female before him was crying. He didn't know how to deal with that. Hesitantly he held up his hands, thought better of it, and then groaned in awkwardness before letting his arms wrap around Flaky's small frame.

Sometimes I feel like weeping

Awake and when I'm sleeping

perfecting how to put a game face on

And this puzzle I've been keeping

has been in hiding, creeping out the closet door

spilling out onto the floor

How long will I be picking up the pieces?

How long will I be picking up my heart?

Flaky allowed herself to be held. She wrapped her own arms around Flippy's stomach and cried in his chest. Flippy, who was very uncomfortable with the situation but felt he owed it to her, simply patted her back in reassurance. He stroked her quills, which felt surprisingly like hair at the moment.

How long (in another space and time)

Keep picking up pieces (in the corner of my mind)

Eventually Flaky settled down, but the two Friends stayed in each others arms, appreciating the warmth and comfort they gave. The silence was no longer strained or awkward, but calm and nice. Flaky rubbed her face off with a sleeve. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry all over you."

Flippy looked down at the girl in his arms and felt his face heat up again. He wanted to let go, but his body wouldn't let him. "Don't be. It's fine."

"Have you ever thought of leaving the valley?"

How long (getting oh so hard to find)

Keep picking up pieces (in the corner of my mind)

Flippy thought about it and then shrugged. "A few times. But I think I'd miss everyone." Flaky smiled and said, "Yeah, me too. Dying isn't nice, but..." She looked out again and then behind them, back towards the town where everyone was sleeping. "Having friends like them makes it almost not so bad, even if they are the one's who kill me. If I didn't like anyone here I would have left a long time ago."

"Don't go..."

Flaky looked up in surprise. "What?" Flippy looked away. He moved further back, but his arm was still around her shoulders. Flaky yawned. "I'm tired." She paused, and then grabbed onto Flippy's paw. The green bear blushed once again. Flaky smiled. "Will you walk me back Flippy?"

"I - uh... sure. Yeah."

"Thank you." Flaky pulled him along, back towards the forest. "Your welcome," Flippy said, allowing himself to follow closely behind.

But I still walk on...