Decisions

"Surana."

Neria's eyelids fluttered at the sound of her name. Who was that? It doesn't sound like Solona. Go away.

"Surana, are you awake?" The whisper was becoming insistent.

Neria tried to roll over so she could ignore the rude intrusion of her much needed slumber. The linens on her bedding scratched at her back. That's odd…I don't remember my bed being so uncomfortable.

"Surana, please. This is important. Please wake up." The annoying whisperer begged.

Am I in my room? Wait…the harrowing. I passed my harrowing, didn't I? Where am I? Solona! Neria's eyes flew open and she bolted upright onto the bed.

Beside her bed, a mage fell from a short stool and landed flat on his back with his legs comically up in the air. The room was dimly lit with one lone candle on the stand beside her head. She looked around and saw that she was surrounded by several empty cots. Neria realized that she was in the healing wards just outside Wynne's chamber.

"Andraste's flaming sword, Surana. If this is how you wake up every morning, then I truly feel sorry for Amell for having you as a roommate." The mage muttered, standing up to dust off his robes.

Neria squinted, her eyes were trying to get used to the candlelight. "Jowan? What are you doing here? Why am I here?"

"Shh. Keep your voice down!" Jowan frantically shushed her. "Strictly speaking, I'm not allowed to be in here. They brought you to the healing chamber so you could recover from your swooning spell after you finished your harrowing."

"I did not swoon." Neria hissed defensively. She tried to climb off the cot but the fatigue in her muscles cried in protest. She sighed and dropped her head back to onto the pillow. "So if you're not allowed to be here, why are you here?"

Jowan nervously clenched his fists. "Do you remember that favor you owe me? I'm afraid that I need your assistance on something dire."

Neria turned to him and lifted an eyebrow. "Now, Jowan? If you haven't noticed, I'm a bit indisposed at the moment."

"It's important." Jowan repeated. "I wouldn't ask you unless it was absolutely necessary."

"What's going on then?" Neria tried to keep the irritation out from her voice.

"The Circle…the templars…they are planning on forcing me to undergo the Rite of Tranquility." Jowan whispered with fear.

Neria lifted her head. "What? How do you know this?"

"Lily discovered several written statements on the Knight Commander's desk which falsely accuse me in dealing with blood magic."

Neria slowly sat back up in her cot. "Why would the Knight Commander have such documents?"

"Who knows?" Jowan cried, forgetting to keep his voice down. "Perhaps it is for the same reason why he decided to force you into taking your harrowing. Maybe he wants to be rid of me because he found out that I've been assisting you."

Neria swore under her breath. She wouldn't find it too unbelievable that Greagoir would punish her allies because he was unable to succeed in his plans to kill her. "What are you going to do, Jowan?"

"Lily and I are planning on running away to start a new life together." He crouched down to meet her eye to eye. "But to do that, I need to destroy my phylactery or else the templars will find me no matter where I try to hide."

"How would you able to accomplish that?" Neria asked. "The phylacteries are normally kept under lock and key in Denerim."

Jowan shook his head and inched closer. "I discovered that my phylactery is in this tower, at this very moment. Listen closely, Surana…this is why I will need your assistance."

Irving knew that he was not a young man by any means, but he always prided himself as a man who – even at his age – could manage the Circle as the First Enchanter and to make the templars shrink before his presence. However, due to the fanatical events that have occurred in the past several days, he now genuinely felt every one of his weary years in his aching bones.

He sat back on his ornately decorated chair, staring at the aged parchments scattered across his ancient desk. Irving let out a tired sigh and tapped his arthritic fingers against his armrest. His watery eyes scanned the papers before him once more.

Neria Surana.

Irving couldn't help to let out a chuckle of disbelief when he thought about the troubles the young mage had caused him in the past few weeks. He could perfectly recall the day when she was brought to the tower; her sharp silver eyes so adult for a child in her years.

Scattered on the desk before him were the journal pages that documented Neria Surana's growth since her arrival to the tower. She showed signs of incredible talent at a young age, but she never applied herself in her studies. It was almost as if she was holding herself back so she could avoid standing out amongst her fellow apprentices.

She was no stranger to trouble. From Irving's observations, she has frequently engaged in forbidden fraternization with several templars in the tower. Poor boys, he sighed to himself. Their strict Chantry training was no match against her pretty face. Although she was as skilled with seduction as she was with magic, Irving observed that she never took it farther than a few kisses for a few favors. Well…as far as he knew of.

Greagoir was furious after she passed the harrowing. It seemed that the Knight Commander has failed his objective to kill Surana and was now trying to come up with another plan to be rid of her. Irving was well aware about all the whispered gossip about Greagoir and speculation about why he is so intent on expelling Surana from the Circle.

It was plainly obvious to Irving on what was going through the Knight Commander's mind. There was a certain templar that Greagoir has been guiding so he could eventually take over the position of Knight Commander. Unfortunately, there were rumors amongst the guards that the specific templar in question was in love with a mage - a mage with a history in seducing templars. The Knight Commander certainly couldn't abide by that…for a templar to love a mage was the gravest of all sins. So disposing of this mage would not only solve all his past problems, but would prevent future issues as well, given this mage's history.

By a fortunate twist of fate, the templars have mistaken Surana for someone else. Irving narrowed his eyes in thought, still gazing at the parchments. For now, it was probably for the best that the templars did not realize that the mage in question was Solona Amell. Without a doubt, if Amell was forced to take the harrowing at her current state, she would not have passed.

Solona Amell…she was another one that he had to watch out for.

And now there is the issue with the Grey Wardens. Irving sadly thought to himself. Duncan was a dear friend, but his appearance to the Tower always brought him great distress. Even though Irving was able to wave Duncan's requests away in the past; this time the Grey Warden Commander was determined to recruit a mage for his upcoming battle.

When Irving returned to his chamber after Surana's harrowing, he found Duncan at his desk, intently reading over the journal about every mage in the tower. Before the First Enchanter could take the book back from Duncan's hands, the Grey Warden had pulled out a sheet of parchment and showed it to him.

"I would like to meet with this mage." Duncan had said simply.

Neria Surana. Of course. Who else would it be? Irving rubbed fingers against his temples. He had begged Duncan to give him one evening to ponder over his request.

All the apprentice mages in the tower were almost like grandchildren to him. He couldn't stand the thought of one of them – no matter how troublesome – to be taken away for a life of hardship and constant battle. In the past, he had always convinced Duncan to leave them alone. Surely he could do it again.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts. "First Enchanter Irving? Are you there?" A voice called from the other side.

Irving quickly shuffled his parchments into a neat pile and placed them into a drawer in his desk. "Yes, I am. Come in, dear."

Solona stepped into his chamber and closed the door quietly behind her. "First Enchanter, may I have a word with you?"

"For you, my dear, you can have as many words as you wish." Irving smiled in welcome and gestured her to take a seat.

Solona shook her head and stood by his desk. "I won't take too much of your time. I would like to ask you for a change in mentors."

Irving lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "A change? Has Anders done something wrong?"

"Not at all." Solona felt her throat go dry. "He is very talented…but I feel that he is not appropriate for my training."

Irving noticed that Solona, who normally gazed at him with such straight forward and honest eyes, had them down to the floor. He got up from his desk and slowly walked over to her. "My dear…I will be more than happy to oblige your request if it is really what you want. But is it really?"

Solona kept her eyes to the ground. "I…I must have another mentor. Please, First Enchanter."

Irving frowned as he looked upon Solona's dejected expression. She was certainly making this request against her will. Was it possible that someone was forcing her to stop associating with Anders?

The First Enchanter sighed heavily and gently placed his hand on her arm. "Come. Walk with me."

Solona was puzzled as Irving took her arm and guided her out to the hallway. "First Enchanter? Where are you taking me?"

"Someplace where we can converse more freely." He spoke quietly under his breath to keep the templar guards from overhearing their conversation.

Solona had no choice but to walk by his side as he threaded her arm through his. Irving gently patted at her hand and spoke with a smile on his face, fooling the patrolling templars into believing that he was on a pleasant stroll with a cherished granddaughter. "My dear…" He said with the smile still on his face. "Is someone forcing you to make this request?"

Solona shook her head again. "It is my decision."

Irving kept walking. "You must give me a valid reason on why you do not wish for Anders' tutelage."

Solona kept her voice barely above a whisper. "Then I must ask you why you chose Anders to be my mentor to begin with."

Irving didn't give an immediate reply and he continued to guide her towards an unknown destination. After several minutes, he finally answered, "I felt that it would be the best match."

"Was Anders truly the best match to my abilities?" Solona asked.

"No, my dear. I believed you would be the best match for Anders." Irving answered resignedly.

"What do you mean?" She asked, confused at his response.

"Amell…" Irving finally called her by name. "Do you know about Anders' multiple attempts to escape the tower?"

Solona nodded. "Yes. He has tried up to six times."

Irving took a deep breath before he began. "I remember when Anders was brought here for the first time. He was such a happy and open person…much like you. He acted as if the tower was a paradise; that no one in Thedas could be any happier than he was. Clever boy…he had us all completely fooled by his behavior. When he fled for the first time, everyone was stupefied from disbelief."

"Amell, you must have noticed that Anders tends to be the cheerful sort. It took me a while to realize that friendliness is nothing more than a mask to hide the misery he truly feels. He desires nothing more than to be free; but because he was born a mage, that wish will never be fulfilled. No matter how many times he tries to escape from this tower, the templars will always search for him. Even if he manages to elude capture, he will be constantly fleeing from them. A life which you are always on the run is not a free one by any means."

Irving looked down at Solona with a softened expression. "I chose Anders as your mentor because I was hoping that you would assist him as you have with Surana."

"Neria?" Solona asked hoarsely.

"When Surana came to our care as a child, she knew nothing but despair and wanted nothing but to destroy. Your love for Surana has given her something to live for…something for her to cherish. I don't know if you have realized it yourself, but you have saved Surana from herself. I was hoping that you could do the same for Anders." Irving confessed.

Solona was astounded by Irving's admittance. She was the one who gave Neria a reason to live? How could that be? Neria was such a strong and independent woman…if anything, Solona was holding her back.

"We're here." Irving announced and stopped in his tracks.

Solona snapped out of her trance and quickly lifted her head in attention. Her eyes widened when she came to recognize her surroundings.

Irving inclined his head at the templar before them. The guard grunted in acknowledgement at the First Enchanter's silent order. He deftly unlocked the heavy iron door and pushed it open. The chamber was pitch dark.

Solona hesitated and Irving placed a hand on her back in encouragement. "Go on, Amell. I will wait for your final decision."

After a few moments, she slowly nodded and stepped into the dark chamber. The guard slammed the door behind her, leaving her in complete darkness. Her hands were damp, her throat was dry, and her heart was pounding loudly against her chest. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady herself.

"Anders." She whispered.

Suddenly, the candles in the room flared to life and the chamber was flooded with light. Solona took an instinctive step back and found herself in an unexpected embrace.

"I thought I would never see you again." Anders murmured into her hair, his arms tightened around her chest.

Solona felt the warmth from his body gradually wash away the chill from her own. "I thought the same."

"What became of your friend?" He quietly asked.

"Neria passed the harrowing." Solona answered softly, her lips barely moving.

Anders gave a slight nod. The templar was good on his word to Solona. Neria was given the fair amount of time to complete her trial. He wished he was there to see Greagoir's face turn into a pleasant shade of purple from his displeasure at the outcome.

It was a good thing that Neria came back in one piece. But it meant that Solona would have to make good on her promise to the Maker-damned templar.

With her back against his chest, he could feel Solona's heart beating in sync with his own. He reached up to run a hand to stroke her hair. "I know about your promise to the templar."

Solona let out a small gasp. "How did you find out?"

"For a prisoner, I hear more than one would think." Anders said breezily. If Solona didn't know about Neria's visit, then it would be best that he kept the details of their conversation to himself for now.

"I'm so sorry, Anders." Solona's chin dropped to her chest. "It was the only way I could protect her. I can't go back on my word to Cullen. I…I…"

Anders took hold of her shoulders and turned her around to face him. His gave her an indignant grin. "Is this the part when you tell me that we will never see each other again?"

Solona took in a sharp breath to keep herself from weeping. Once again, Anders seemed to know what was going through her mind. His smile was lopsided but his amber eyes grew dark from a hollow reflection of pain. Unable to speak any words, she desperately reached for Anders' face and fiercely pressed her lips against his.