Disclaimer- One freakin' last time: I don't own Harry Potter.

This is the last chapter. As I proved with my last update of Remus's New Hope, I get all corny and sappy when it comes to these. I have had a rough time with some of these chapters, but haven't we all?

I think this is a pretty good chapter. Better than last one.

But don't forget about the Next Generation!

I swear to Merlin, I must be crazy.

Enjoy.

The Ending Chronicle of The "Never Agains" of Hogwarts, Read to You by Yo Momma!

Or Something.

Directed to the Marauders and/or Weasley twins

Established and Completed by Minerva McGonagall

451. I may very well impose a worldwide ban on fires just to prevent you from carrying out the threat of setting my underwear on fire.

452. If you tell me I am trifling one more time, I will boot you out of Hogwarts before you can say…

453. …Trifling.

454. Do not bait the giant squid. The giant squid is not a cannibal.

455. Dressing Mr. Lupin up as the giant squid is not going to work either. I'm sorry to have to put it this way, but wolf is not an appetizing meal to a squid. Annoying pranksters are, though.

456. Yeah, you better run.

457. Dying your hair pink is juvenile and weird. Mr. Black, it doesn't work with your complexion.

458. Do nt tlk 2 me in txt tlk. It bthrs me. And u wll gt a dtntn.

459. Put your right hand in, put your right hand out, and you shake it all about. Do the hokey pokey…wait, what am I doing! I've gone insane!

460. Or you just put a jinx on me. Haha, hilarious.

462. Look, kid, the Holyhead Harpies are going to beat the Wimborne Wasps. Nothing you can do to change that.

463. Although I do admit that the Harpies will go down to Puddlemere United.

464. Mr. Malfoy does not wish for his blonde hair to suddenly spontaneously combust.

465. Ever.

466. Professor's Quirrel's turban does not house squirrels.

467. Or Lord Voldemort. That is just ridiculous.

468. Like your clothing. Remind me again why you're dressed as faeries?

469. Saying "To show how straight we are." doesn't really answer my question.

470. Convincing the entire male population of Hogwarts, including Professors Flitwick, Snape and Mr. Malfoy (Usually I'd count Professor Lupin, but as this is considered cross-dressing I cannot in good conscience count him as a sensible and mature adult) to wear horribly small, neon pink booty shorts in entirely beyond my comprehension.

471. Florida does not reside in Hogsmeade. Repeat: Florida does not reside in Hogsmeade.

472. Neither does the Grim Reaper. Honestly, I think he's somewhere like the slums of Africa or the Dead Sea.

473. Or Disneyworld.

474. Ugh. I have enough paperwork to do without you adding those pesky hospital release forms from your unintended victims, Mr. Marauders. So stop hurting people.

475. Heh heh. Mr. Marauders. New nickname.

476. Tacos are not an appropriate beverage to drink during Quidditch games.

477. Neither are they appropriate to throw at Mr. Jordan during a Quidditch game.

478. Don't ever scare me like that again! I, your Transfiguration teacher, Minerva McGonagall, is not nor ever will be anything like DOLORES UMBRIDGE!

479. Rain dances don't work. Besides, it's the middle of winter. God would look at you like you're crazy and then give you a blizzard.

480. Although, now that I think about it, we all look at you crazy, Mr. Weasleys'. Why should God be any different?

481. I give up. Go ahead. Decorate the Slathering common room in pink. See how they take it.

482. The Hufflepuff room too? They're so….good at finding. You know what, I don't care. The girls will love it and the guys…will love t.

483. Yes, yes, I know Quirrel and Lord Voldemort are as different as can be. What's your point?

484. Oh, you're saying that they can still love each other despite their differences.

485. Wait, what amI saying!

486. Shut up. My mother is not the giant squid. Nor is it your mother. Nor are you its child.

487. Inspiration is not inherited. Because the giant squid is not full of inspiration, and you claim to be its child. And mother.

488. Leeks and lentils are not the same thing. And they go in soup, not potatoes.

489. You are not Frodo, Mr. Black. Mr. Lupin is not your Sam.

490. Also, you are not Han and he is not Leia.

491. "Clean-up in Isle 5" is not the is the right response to Mr. Longbottom exploding the Great Hall with a Potion gone wrong.

492. Do not, ever, go chasing after Orlando Bloom asking for his autograph while wearing pink kimonos.

493. Again.

494. Pumpkin carving is fun during Halloween. Lighting candles in a gutted pumpkin is not cool while swimming in the Thames River. Before the oil cleanup.

495. The Leg Fall Asleep hex is not only a bad name, but undeniably cruel. So, therefore, use it on Umbridge.

496. Remember this rule: The Chamber of Secrets does not hold Salazar Slytherin's secret stash of tacos? Enough said.

497. Mr. Weasleys', you are not to get Dobby drunk with Winky ever again. There is no need for more little Dobbinkys.

498. No, you may not dress Professor Lupin up in a girdle. Just because Tonks agrees doesn't mean it is right. Or decent.

499. YOU DID IT ANYWAY! Even as an adult, Remus, you still have that freakin' chocolate problem!

500. I thought seeing this day come would be wonderful, but it isn't. I am sad you are graduating/diving bombing Umbridge and flying out through the window. All six of you (I know this is a time dimensional loop that could screw up time and space, but whatever) are integral to the Hogwarts atmosphere, and it won't be the same without you. Goodbye, Marauders. Goodbye, twins. Make something of your lives. For me.

Aw, how sweet. McGonagall's got a heart! But we knew that already. So McGonagall didn't go crazy after all. Good for you, Minnie.

*Insert bad joke here*

Ok, now for my reviewers:

To all of you who read this but didn't review, I award you the Ron Weasley, as both of you are always there but never doing anything really plot-changing.

No offense Ron. You're awesome and my favorite of the Golden Trio.

Don't tell Harry.

rachelnot, 00cats10, evol love, soccerhorse10, TheSecretWeasley5147, your friend, Tanya Rayne, tough cookie, MizuLevia, SinisterlySexy, James Hiwatari, Duckyumbrella, Springbutterfly, Triggerhappy44, chailetteandmusic, Luna Elphaba Anne Granger, minervathefeline, snowisker, hermionegranger865, youarecrazybutIamMMAD, crazyismymiddlename6754, sarahwolfgirl20, Jamilu, Cailey, remslover101, ginnyevans, and Sammi, I award you all the Remus Lupin. Because Remus Lupin is always there, sometime getting the spotlight for his crossdressing tenacities. Although I have no idea how this relates to you.

Feel free to go crossdress.

xxxSora-chan, EscapedReality, KrazyKimmy, audburrito, Flying-Free22, LivingintheClouds, Rue-the-Marauder, blindrain, and DaysWithoutChains I award you the Fred and George Weasley for your laughter and your hilarious and encouraging reviews.

Rock on, Gred and Forge.

And lastly, to the most loyal and revered of my reviewers, I award you the Albus Dumbledore. Because he is the mastermind behind everything of importance. And most of everything that isn't.

And here they are:

Rocklover91- You have been reading for how long? I can't even remember. Thank you for everything, especially for admitting that you had to look up what a halberd was. Because it meant that meant you cared enough to look it up.

Loads of Randomness- You are awesome just because you can convey your feeling through "ROFLMAO" and not make me feel shortchanged. Awesome for that, but for mostly awesome for being here this whole time.

Blue-Eyed-Lily- Your reviews are worth as much as you say, which is why you're getting this last update so soon. And thank you so so so much for your support in both this story and Remus's New Hope.

eternal vampire- I don't know how I do it either. Thank you for telling me this along with your other, awesome reviews. I seriously needed you to get through writing this.

Miriflowers- Please forgive me, but I almost forgot you. And then I didn't. So don't kill me. You don't deserve to be forgotten after all the support. Seriously, i feel horrible.

Buzzcat- To you, my first reviewer, I give you a world of thanks. And then Mars. You are awesome. I really need some new adjectives.

Lastly, but not leastly, xXMixLilyEvansXx, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Your reviews make me happy are the time, and without you, (and the others) I'd shrivel up and die.

So this is the end for now. But don't forget about the Next Gen!

Goodbye, my friends.