Once again, I am so sorry for this horror of literature that I have produced and exposed to the internet. This is very stupid and full of inside jokes.

I wanted to get one in about how Leon obviously wanted to wear Ada's dress but the opportunity never came up. I am a sad panda.

Leon winced uncomfortably as they jogged along a small dirt track through the village. Ashley followed close behind and Leon considered giving her one of his numerous guns (why did he even have so many?) in order to defend herself but decided that such a course of action would be far too sensible. Besides, Ashley's job was to read things, not shoot them.

"Are you okay, Leon?" Ashley asked.

"I'm fine," he answered through gritted teeth. He really was quite uncomfortable, but he was a man goddamn it, and men didn't admit to discomfort.

"Are you sure? You don't look too good."

Leon grunted in annoyance and picked up his pace.

"Leon! Where are you going?" Ashley cried as she struggled to keep up with him.

They continued that way for about ten more minutes before Leon realised that she wasn't going to drop the subject. He sighed in resignation.

"It's that fish I caught earlier," he admitted begrudgingly, "it's not quite dead yet and it keeps thrashing."

Ashley somehow managed to stifle her laughter while looking both bemused and sympathetic all at the same time.

"Why did you even catch it in the first place?"

"Well we haven't really eaten anything since this whole thing started, so I thought we might need it later."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense. Although, y'know, you could probably avoid all this if you stopped putting fully-grown fish in your pockets in the first place."

Leon glared. Ashley shrugged.

"I'm just saying."

I'm not a good writer, I'M SORRY OKAY.