A/N: Gah! I was fiddling with Power Point when this one shot fic popped into my head! Argh! Anyway Wildwing is dead and Nosedive is really hurting. He's also remembering all the good times they had.
Disclaimer: Faith Hill owns the song, I just listen to it 24/7, and Disney owns Mighty Ducks, I just watch it 24/7.
Warnings: Extreme angst, Character death, Mallory/Nosedive and Tanya/Wildwing romance (possibly hinted), and a song some people might hate.
There You'll Be
By: Prince Tyler Briefs
* When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed
To get to have you in my life*
Nosedive lay curled up on his bed, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it. His brother, his hero, his idol, was dead. After all they'd been through together he was really gone. After the orphanages, the foster homes, the mines, the camps, getting sucked into a different dimension, fighting and defeating Dragaunus he was really dead. Killed by an extremist fan from the other team. Killed on the ice, shot in the back. He could remember it all in pure and excruciating detail. How he'd just scored a goal when the gun went off. The cries of terror and shock from the team and the fans as Wildwing feel to the ground, a hole in his back. The way the blood had stained the ice a beautiful but sickening red. And his own scream of shock and terror, of disbelief and anger. Tanya had tried to save him but it was to late. He was to late. As usual he'd gotten there to late to save him. And now he'd been left to fend for himself. He chocked on a dry sob,
running out of tears to cry, and rubbed his face in Wildwing's home game jersey. Mallory, who was standing in the doorway, looked at him with a mixture of pity and pain on her face. It hurt her to see him going through so much pain. She to could remember what had happened with a vengeful intensity. The sound of the gun, echoing through out the other teams hockey dome. The sickening thud of Wildwing's body hitting the ground. Nosedive's scream. He sounded just like Obi-wan and Luke on those Star Wars movies he was always watching. She'd watched him skate halfway to his brother before falling on his knees and sliding the rest of the way. She'd heard him scream his brother's name over and over, each time with more panic and denial. She'd watched him shake him gently, as if trying to wake him up from a light sleep. She was watching him now, wracked with agony over his brother's death. And still she just stood there in shock, seemingly unable to force herself to move. She wanted
to run to him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay. But how could she when she was so unsure and frightened herself? Duke came up behind her, and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"Let's talk to him, huh? It's beta' then letting him hurt alone."
"We can't help him Duke." She said bitterly to the floor, "Not when we don't know. And he doesn't want our help."
"That's true sweetheart, but are you gonna' stand here and watch him tear himself apart inside?" A pause, before she shook her head. "Neither am I Mal-mal. I'm hurting inside to, more then I'll eva let show. But to let him beat himself up like dat; to slowly die inside...it ain't right. And it ain't what Wing would have us do eder." Another long pause before Mallory nodded. It took all her strength, all her will power, but she finally placed a foot in the direction of Nosedive's bed.
* When I think back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me *
"Hey kid, you all right?" Nosedive didn't take his face out of Wildwing's jersey to respond, he just sobbed into it and gasped for breath until he managed a reply.
"What do you think?" Mallory was taken aback by the bitterness in his voice. Never in her life had she heard a voice so cold and hard, yet painful and sorrowful at the same time.
"I think dat you're hurtin' so bad you can't breath."
"Jack tell the duck what he's won!" Duke was unfazed by Nosedive's responses. He knew that deep inside he wanted and needed support, affection, and a shoulder to cry on. But he wouldn't take that from anyone except his brother, and when it was he causing the pain there was nothing he could think to do but bear it alone. Duke, however, wasn't about to let him do that; not when the kid didn't have to be alone. He'd done that to himself, many times. He respected and loved the family he had before they'd been killed when he was thirteen and he joined the brotherhood of the blade. He'd borne the suffering alone, not wanting to look weak infront of the other thieves. And he still hurt; still felt guilt, still told himself he could've done more. He wasn't about to let Nosedive, Dive who loved life so much, go through it like that.
"You can't fool us Dive. We know how you feel."
"No you don't! You can NEVER know how I feel!"
"You're not the only one who's lost someone close to yah kid. But things like that happen and you gotta' carry on! Killing yourself won't bring him back!" To the limitless surprise of the other two ducks Nosedive laughed, even if it was a bitter one.
"You know Wing told me the same thing soon after our adoptive parents died. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and stay there forever. But Wing would let me. He actually pulled me out of my ball and made me carry on. Forced me to stay alive, because life was still going on. He told me there was still too much for me to see and do to die then. He is, was, as stubborn as me when he wanted to be." Nosedive laughed again, but half way through it turned into a sob.
* In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be*
Two more figures pocked their heads into the room. Tanya and Grin stood in the doorway watching the scene, trying to take it all in. Tanya was on the very edge of tears, and anything could push her over. She had known that she cared for Wildwing, but how deeply hadn't been manifested unto her until he was gone. Until she'd had to be the one to tell Nosedive just how alone, but not alone, he was now. Grin, somehow, remained calm. It was his opinion that there was something more after death, an after life almost. Yes it was still sad, because they weren't there physically anymore, but he believed they would see Wildwing again. Besides their captain still lived on in the heart and soul of their youngest member. He grew more and more like Wildwing everyday. Mallory gingerly placed a hand on Dive's shoulder, but he pulled away.
"Oh Nosedive, I know this must hurt you deeply."
"You have no idea Mal."
"Then give me one." Three ducks looked at her in surprise, but Nosedive clutched the jersey tighter.
"When I was about a year old my parents died. All four of us were in this car accident, a very traumatic one. I can remember watching my parents die, and I was barely a year old. And it was my birthday! Anyway I wouldn't talk after that until I was about 6. Everyone at the orphanage and the 5 foster homes we were in after that called me `special'. And Wing would tell them again, and again, that I was the smartest kid he knew when I wanted to be. Then when I was 10 we finally found a home that was really a home. We had parents that loved us like parents should. They legally adopted us when I was about eleven. That's when Canard showed up. Up until then Wildwing had pretty much taken care of me, and now that we had a family he felt he didn't have to anymore. He could just hang with his friend and leave me alone. But still I followed them. Somehow I felt that if I wasn't near Wing every chance I got, he'd forget about me like everyone else. Then I turned 14, and the invasion
started. Within the first few minutes our parents were killed, and Wildwing and I on our way to the camps. When we got there they seperated us. That was the first time EVER that I've been without Wing for more then a few hours. And I thought I was gonna' die because my chest hurt so badly. Then we got together again for a month before Canard showed up. He wanted to leave me behind, but Wing wouldn't let him. If I wasn't going, then neither was he. You all know the rest." Finally, hesitantly, Nosedive looked up at her. His normally cheerful eyes looked empty, soulless. So without the spark of life she was used to seeing. Involuntarily she shuddered, but sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking to herself.
* Well, you showed me how it feels
To have the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through*
"I think," Duke stated slowly, sitting next to Mallory on the bed, "I think that Wildwing isn't truly dead." Nosedive looked at him in confusion while Duke continued. "Because, Nosedive, he lives in you." Nosedive blinked at him for a second.
"You've been watching Lion King again haven't you Duke?"
"I'm serious Dive. You are just like Wildwing, though most of the time we couldn't or wouldn't notice." Nosedive didn't say anything; he just looked past Duke to his brother's empty bed. All Wildwing's stuff was exactly as he'd left it the morning before. His bed was made semi-hastily, as he'd had to literally drag Dive out of bed that morning and they were running late. Fiction and playbooks were scattered all over the floor and were also laid haphazardly on the bookshelves. Clothes and some other trinkets were scattered here and there. It looked just like Wildwing was still there, like he would walk in at any moment.
"Listen Duke," he whispered, putting his face back in the jersey, "I know you're trying to help, and I really appreciate it. But I need to be left alone." Duke and Mallory opened their mouths to say something in protest, but Grin laid one giant hand on each of their shoulders.
"We understand." With that he gently, but firmly, led them out. As the door closed behind them, they could faintly hear the teenager sobbing behind them once more.
* Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me*
Mallory flopped down onto the couch with a heavy sigh. "I don't like leaving him like that."
"Neither do I sweetheart."
"We must give him time to heal. We cannot force him into something he's not ready for." Mallory sighed again, and Tanya turned on the TV. A man with short blonde hair appeared on the screen, holding a microphone up to his face.
"I'm here on location at the Alabama Aardvarks stadium were NHL goalie legend Wildwing was murdered Tuesday afternoon." The team winced as Wildwing's face appeared on the screen. "Fans were outraged when Cord Heinz Ramsey shot and killed the Anaheim Mighty Ducks team captain. We are now here with the Anaheim Police force captain who is telling us how they are trying to find this murderer. Kevin."
"Guys its Klegghorn!" Sure enough the camera focused in on a red headed, short, man. An angry short red haired man.
"Thank you. We will be doing everything we can to capture and sentence this man. Not only are we looking for him but so is the Alabama police force." To their shock his face softened, and he spoke softer then he ever had before. "Our sympathies and regret go out to the friends and family of Wildwing. He was the greatest team captain I've ever met. It's a real shame to lose him, excpeacilly like that." The ducks stared at the screen in shock as the camera flipped back to the blonde man.
"Thank you Kevin. High praise I am sure. And we all hope that the Mighty Ducks team will be alright."
* In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be*
Mallory snorted as Tanya turned of the TV. "That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen."
"No doubt." Silence for a minute, before Mallory got to her feet.
"I'm not going to just sit here. If you need me, use the com." She left the room and started to walk down the hall, fully intending to go to the rink or the mall. But at Nosedive and Wildwing's room she paused. She could hear Nosedive's somewhat subdued sobs. Oh how she hated this! Over the last two years they'd all become so close, like a family and with some something more. Why did they have to lose him? Why now, when things were finally starting to look right again? Why, when Nosedive cared and needed him so badly, did he have to die? Why like that, murdered in cold blood? So many why questions were angrily clouding her senses that she was in Nosedive's room before she'd even thought of going in there. Curled up on the bed like he was he looked so small, so pathetic. Like a little lost child. Like she must have looked when she lost her favorite older brother, Nathan, in combat. With silent grace she stepped closer to him, and gently brushed some loose strands of blonde
hair away from his face. Nosedive looked up at the sudden movement. For a moment his eyes looked hopeful, but that quickly faded when he realized who it was.
"Sorry to disappoint you Dive." She whispered so softly he could barely hear.
"I thought I told you to go away."
"You did. But that doesn't mean I'm going to. Because it's not what my heart is telling me to do. Not what Wildwing would want me to do." As soon as the last sentence was out of her mouth, she wished she could take it back. Of all the lame brained things to say that had to be it! With the exception of the "I know what you're going through" Duke let slip earlier. Nosedive said nothing for a minute, just stared at the blank wall by his face. When he did speak, he didn't look at her.
"I know you're right. You're all right. But Wildwing meant everything to me Mal!" That's when he looked at her, fresh tears forming there. "He's kept me alive for 17 years Mal. Every year of my life but one. He taught me never, EVER, to give up hope." He laid his head back in his arms and started to sob again. Silently, awkwardly, soothingly she began to rub Nosedives' back.
* Cause I always saw in you my life, my strength
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
Always*
The two didn't say anything for a long time, and when Mallory spoke it was in a hushed and whispered tone.
"I lost my older brother too Nosedive. He was killed in one of the Puckworld wars when I was about ten. You probably were to young to remember those wars. Thousands of people died, some soldiers some civilians. He was betrayed by someone he thought to be his friend and shot by the enemy." Again a thick and awkward silence.
"I never knew Mal."
"I didn't want you to know, there was no reason. It was the past, and I viewed it as a weakness. And I wanted to forget the pain. That didn't work very well; actually I think it hurts more on Earth then ever. Because I'm so far from all the things that reminded me of him. And I think my other brothers, Benji and Tucker, might have been killed in the invasion. Misty probably to." With a shaky hand Nosedive reached back and took hers, gently inclosing her fingers in his.
"How can you live with it?"
"By doing what I know has to be done. I realized after Nathan's death that no matter how badly I wanted to stop life and the pain I couldn't. I tried, everyday for a month I tried, and I couldn't. Because I still had a family that loved me. And now, when I think I've lost my real family, I realize that I still have you guys. And I haven't forgotten what I'm fighting for, because you remind me everyday that there is a chance their still alive and just waiting for us to come home." She paused there, letting Nosedive think for a bit. "And you haven't truly lost all you're family Dive. We're still here; we'll always be here. Duke thinks of you as a little brother, you're Grin's little pal, Tanya's `special' helper, and my...my..." She couldn't bring herself to say what she was feeling then, so she shook her head and continued, "anyway we're all family here. I know we can't replace Wildwing, and we don't want to. Wildwing deserves whatever place he has in your heart, and he'll
always be there. And yes it will always hurt Dive, but in time the pain won't be so intense. You'll miss him, you'll always miss him, but we're gonna' be with you through it all. And you know maybe Grin is right, maybe we will see Wing again." She looked down at Dive, the faintest hint of a smile on her beak. And, for the first time that week, Nosedive smiled back.
* In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be
There you'll be*
Disclaimer: Faith Hill owns the song, I just listen to it 24/7, and Disney owns Mighty Ducks, I just watch it 24/7.
Warnings: Extreme angst, Character death, Mallory/Nosedive and Tanya/Wildwing romance (possibly hinted), and a song some people might hate.
There You'll Be
By: Prince Tyler Briefs
* When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed
To get to have you in my life*
Nosedive lay curled up on his bed, tears streaming down his face. He couldn't believe it, wouldn't believe it. His brother, his hero, his idol, was dead. After all they'd been through together he was really gone. After the orphanages, the foster homes, the mines, the camps, getting sucked into a different dimension, fighting and defeating Dragaunus he was really dead. Killed by an extremist fan from the other team. Killed on the ice, shot in the back. He could remember it all in pure and excruciating detail. How he'd just scored a goal when the gun went off. The cries of terror and shock from the team and the fans as Wildwing feel to the ground, a hole in his back. The way the blood had stained the ice a beautiful but sickening red. And his own scream of shock and terror, of disbelief and anger. Tanya had tried to save him but it was to late. He was to late. As usual he'd gotten there to late to save him. And now he'd been left to fend for himself. He chocked on a dry sob,
running out of tears to cry, and rubbed his face in Wildwing's home game jersey. Mallory, who was standing in the doorway, looked at him with a mixture of pity and pain on her face. It hurt her to see him going through so much pain. She to could remember what had happened with a vengeful intensity. The sound of the gun, echoing through out the other teams hockey dome. The sickening thud of Wildwing's body hitting the ground. Nosedive's scream. He sounded just like Obi-wan and Luke on those Star Wars movies he was always watching. She'd watched him skate halfway to his brother before falling on his knees and sliding the rest of the way. She'd heard him scream his brother's name over and over, each time with more panic and denial. She'd watched him shake him gently, as if trying to wake him up from a light sleep. She was watching him now, wracked with agony over his brother's death. And still she just stood there in shock, seemingly unable to force herself to move. She wanted
to run to him, to tell him that everything was going to be okay. But how could she when she was so unsure and frightened herself? Duke came up behind her, and laid a hand on her shoulder.
"Let's talk to him, huh? It's beta' then letting him hurt alone."
"We can't help him Duke." She said bitterly to the floor, "Not when we don't know. And he doesn't want our help."
"That's true sweetheart, but are you gonna' stand here and watch him tear himself apart inside?" A pause, before she shook her head. "Neither am I Mal-mal. I'm hurting inside to, more then I'll eva let show. But to let him beat himself up like dat; to slowly die inside...it ain't right. And it ain't what Wing would have us do eder." Another long pause before Mallory nodded. It took all her strength, all her will power, but she finally placed a foot in the direction of Nosedive's bed.
* When I think back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me *
"Hey kid, you all right?" Nosedive didn't take his face out of Wildwing's jersey to respond, he just sobbed into it and gasped for breath until he managed a reply.
"What do you think?" Mallory was taken aback by the bitterness in his voice. Never in her life had she heard a voice so cold and hard, yet painful and sorrowful at the same time.
"I think dat you're hurtin' so bad you can't breath."
"Jack tell the duck what he's won!" Duke was unfazed by Nosedive's responses. He knew that deep inside he wanted and needed support, affection, and a shoulder to cry on. But he wouldn't take that from anyone except his brother, and when it was he causing the pain there was nothing he could think to do but bear it alone. Duke, however, wasn't about to let him do that; not when the kid didn't have to be alone. He'd done that to himself, many times. He respected and loved the family he had before they'd been killed when he was thirteen and he joined the brotherhood of the blade. He'd borne the suffering alone, not wanting to look weak infront of the other thieves. And he still hurt; still felt guilt, still told himself he could've done more. He wasn't about to let Nosedive, Dive who loved life so much, go through it like that.
"You can't fool us Dive. We know how you feel."
"No you don't! You can NEVER know how I feel!"
"You're not the only one who's lost someone close to yah kid. But things like that happen and you gotta' carry on! Killing yourself won't bring him back!" To the limitless surprise of the other two ducks Nosedive laughed, even if it was a bitter one.
"You know Wing told me the same thing soon after our adoptive parents died. I just wanted to curl up into a ball and stay there forever. But Wing would let me. He actually pulled me out of my ball and made me carry on. Forced me to stay alive, because life was still going on. He told me there was still too much for me to see and do to die then. He is, was, as stubborn as me when he wanted to be." Nosedive laughed again, but half way through it turned into a sob.
* In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be*
Two more figures pocked their heads into the room. Tanya and Grin stood in the doorway watching the scene, trying to take it all in. Tanya was on the very edge of tears, and anything could push her over. She had known that she cared for Wildwing, but how deeply hadn't been manifested unto her until he was gone. Until she'd had to be the one to tell Nosedive just how alone, but not alone, he was now. Grin, somehow, remained calm. It was his opinion that there was something more after death, an after life almost. Yes it was still sad, because they weren't there physically anymore, but he believed they would see Wildwing again. Besides their captain still lived on in the heart and soul of their youngest member. He grew more and more like Wildwing everyday. Mallory gingerly placed a hand on Dive's shoulder, but he pulled away.
"Oh Nosedive, I know this must hurt you deeply."
"You have no idea Mal."
"Then give me one." Three ducks looked at her in surprise, but Nosedive clutched the jersey tighter.
"When I was about a year old my parents died. All four of us were in this car accident, a very traumatic one. I can remember watching my parents die, and I was barely a year old. And it was my birthday! Anyway I wouldn't talk after that until I was about 6. Everyone at the orphanage and the 5 foster homes we were in after that called me `special'. And Wing would tell them again, and again, that I was the smartest kid he knew when I wanted to be. Then when I was 10 we finally found a home that was really a home. We had parents that loved us like parents should. They legally adopted us when I was about eleven. That's when Canard showed up. Up until then Wildwing had pretty much taken care of me, and now that we had a family he felt he didn't have to anymore. He could just hang with his friend and leave me alone. But still I followed them. Somehow I felt that if I wasn't near Wing every chance I got, he'd forget about me like everyone else. Then I turned 14, and the invasion
started. Within the first few minutes our parents were killed, and Wildwing and I on our way to the camps. When we got there they seperated us. That was the first time EVER that I've been without Wing for more then a few hours. And I thought I was gonna' die because my chest hurt so badly. Then we got together again for a month before Canard showed up. He wanted to leave me behind, but Wing wouldn't let him. If I wasn't going, then neither was he. You all know the rest." Finally, hesitantly, Nosedive looked up at her. His normally cheerful eyes looked empty, soulless. So without the spark of life she was used to seeing. Involuntarily she shuddered, but sat down on the edge of the bed, thinking to herself.
* Well, you showed me how it feels
To have the sky within my reach
And I always will remember all the strength you gave to me
Your love made me make it through*
"I think," Duke stated slowly, sitting next to Mallory on the bed, "I think that Wildwing isn't truly dead." Nosedive looked at him in confusion while Duke continued. "Because, Nosedive, he lives in you." Nosedive blinked at him for a second.
"You've been watching Lion King again haven't you Duke?"
"I'm serious Dive. You are just like Wildwing, though most of the time we couldn't or wouldn't notice." Nosedive didn't say anything; he just looked past Duke to his brother's empty bed. All Wildwing's stuff was exactly as he'd left it the morning before. His bed was made semi-hastily, as he'd had to literally drag Dive out of bed that morning and they were running late. Fiction and playbooks were scattered all over the floor and were also laid haphazardly on the bookshelves. Clothes and some other trinkets were scattered here and there. It looked just like Wildwing was still there, like he would walk in at any moment.
"Listen Duke," he whispered, putting his face back in the jersey, "I know you're trying to help, and I really appreciate it. But I need to be left alone." Duke and Mallory opened their mouths to say something in protest, but Grin laid one giant hand on each of their shoulders.
"We understand." With that he gently, but firmly, led them out. As the door closed behind them, they could faintly hear the teenager sobbing behind them once more.
* Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me*
Mallory flopped down onto the couch with a heavy sigh. "I don't like leaving him like that."
"Neither do I sweetheart."
"We must give him time to heal. We cannot force him into something he's not ready for." Mallory sighed again, and Tanya turned on the TV. A man with short blonde hair appeared on the screen, holding a microphone up to his face.
"I'm here on location at the Alabama Aardvarks stadium were NHL goalie legend Wildwing was murdered Tuesday afternoon." The team winced as Wildwing's face appeared on the screen. "Fans were outraged when Cord Heinz Ramsey shot and killed the Anaheim Mighty Ducks team captain. We are now here with the Anaheim Police force captain who is telling us how they are trying to find this murderer. Kevin."
"Guys its Klegghorn!" Sure enough the camera focused in on a red headed, short, man. An angry short red haired man.
"Thank you. We will be doing everything we can to capture and sentence this man. Not only are we looking for him but so is the Alabama police force." To their shock his face softened, and he spoke softer then he ever had before. "Our sympathies and regret go out to the friends and family of Wildwing. He was the greatest team captain I've ever met. It's a real shame to lose him, excpeacilly like that." The ducks stared at the screen in shock as the camera flipped back to the blonde man.
"Thank you Kevin. High praise I am sure. And we all hope that the Mighty Ducks team will be alright."
* In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be*
Mallory snorted as Tanya turned of the TV. "That's the weirdest thing I've ever seen."
"No doubt." Silence for a minute, before Mallory got to her feet.
"I'm not going to just sit here. If you need me, use the com." She left the room and started to walk down the hall, fully intending to go to the rink or the mall. But at Nosedive and Wildwing's room she paused. She could hear Nosedive's somewhat subdued sobs. Oh how she hated this! Over the last two years they'd all become so close, like a family and with some something more. Why did they have to lose him? Why now, when things were finally starting to look right again? Why, when Nosedive cared and needed him so badly, did he have to die? Why like that, murdered in cold blood? So many why questions were angrily clouding her senses that she was in Nosedive's room before she'd even thought of going in there. Curled up on the bed like he was he looked so small, so pathetic. Like a little lost child. Like she must have looked when she lost her favorite older brother, Nathan, in combat. With silent grace she stepped closer to him, and gently brushed some loose strands of blonde
hair away from his face. Nosedive looked up at the sudden movement. For a moment his eyes looked hopeful, but that quickly faded when he realized who it was.
"Sorry to disappoint you Dive." She whispered so softly he could barely hear.
"I thought I told you to go away."
"You did. But that doesn't mean I'm going to. Because it's not what my heart is telling me to do. Not what Wildwing would want me to do." As soon as the last sentence was out of her mouth, she wished she could take it back. Of all the lame brained things to say that had to be it! With the exception of the "I know what you're going through" Duke let slip earlier. Nosedive said nothing for a minute, just stared at the blank wall by his face. When he did speak, he didn't look at her.
"I know you're right. You're all right. But Wildwing meant everything to me Mal!" That's when he looked at her, fresh tears forming there. "He's kept me alive for 17 years Mal. Every year of my life but one. He taught me never, EVER, to give up hope." He laid his head back in his arms and started to sob again. Silently, awkwardly, soothingly she began to rub Nosedives' back.
* Cause I always saw in you my life, my strength
And I want to thank you now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
Always*
The two didn't say anything for a long time, and when Mallory spoke it was in a hushed and whispered tone.
"I lost my older brother too Nosedive. He was killed in one of the Puckworld wars when I was about ten. You probably were to young to remember those wars. Thousands of people died, some soldiers some civilians. He was betrayed by someone he thought to be his friend and shot by the enemy." Again a thick and awkward silence.
"I never knew Mal."
"I didn't want you to know, there was no reason. It was the past, and I viewed it as a weakness. And I wanted to forget the pain. That didn't work very well; actually I think it hurts more on Earth then ever. Because I'm so far from all the things that reminded me of him. And I think my other brothers, Benji and Tucker, might have been killed in the invasion. Misty probably to." With a shaky hand Nosedive reached back and took hers, gently inclosing her fingers in his.
"How can you live with it?"
"By doing what I know has to be done. I realized after Nathan's death that no matter how badly I wanted to stop life and the pain I couldn't. I tried, everyday for a month I tried, and I couldn't. Because I still had a family that loved me. And now, when I think I've lost my real family, I realize that I still have you guys. And I haven't forgotten what I'm fighting for, because you remind me everyday that there is a chance their still alive and just waiting for us to come home." She paused there, letting Nosedive think for a bit. "And you haven't truly lost all you're family Dive. We're still here; we'll always be here. Duke thinks of you as a little brother, you're Grin's little pal, Tanya's `special' helper, and my...my..." She couldn't bring herself to say what she was feeling then, so she shook her head and continued, "anyway we're all family here. I know we can't replace Wildwing, and we don't want to. Wildwing deserves whatever place he has in your heart, and he'll
always be there. And yes it will always hurt Dive, but in time the pain won't be so intense. You'll miss him, you'll always miss him, but we're gonna' be with you through it all. And you know maybe Grin is right, maybe we will see Wing again." She looked down at Dive, the faintest hint of a smile on her beak. And, for the first time that week, Nosedive smiled back.
* In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there'll always be a place for you, for all my life
I'll keep a part of you with me
And everywhere I am there you'll be
And everywhere I am there you'll be
There you'll be*