*Giant Purple Umbrella*

Kogasa: SURPRISE! HAPPY GROUNDHOG'S DAY!

Sakuya: What are you doing in this story and what is a "Groundhog's Day"?

CCX: Not important. Due to...certain circumstances, it is no longer feasible for me to have a direct link to the site where I'd originally "simulcast" this fic from here. While anyone who had already read this chapter in its original location still could know how to get that close to me, with newcomers receiving that little extra detachment, it's time to publish this here, more than eight months after it was originally published.

The Scarlet Devil
by Cyberchao X

Disclaimer: Located below so as not to provide spoilers.

Final Chapter

CCX: Here's what we've been waiting for all this time...

My name is Remilia Scarlet, aka the Scarlet Devil. I live in a mansion on an island in the middle of the Misty Lake along with my younger sister, my best friend, and a number of minor demons and fairies who are employed as work-staff. There's also a gatekeeper, and I'm supposed to be looking for a second one so the current one doesn't have to work around the clock. I also need to find a new head maid...

"Hmm...that's odd. Why hasn't Sakuya-san come around with the tea?" asked my best friend, Patchouli Knowledge.

"You didn't know? Sakuya doesn't work here anymore. She's been fired."

"...WHAT?"

"Calm down, Patchy! Why are you getting so worked up?"

"Why are you so calm?" she replied.

"You do realize what you've done, right?"

"I've gotten rid of a distraction that was making me weak and soft-hearted," I replied. "I'm going to go back to being the old Scarlet Devil."

"...You're a fool." She sighed. "Koa-chan, could you please fetch us some tea?"

"Right away, Patchouli-sama."

"Is her tea any good?" I asked.

"Not as good as Sakuya-san's. But yes, it's good enough."

"Good, because I don't know how soon I'll be able to find a new head maid; they're so hard to find, especially good ones. Oh, and we're also looking for another gatekeeper; having two gatekeepers each working for half a day at a time will be far more effective than having just the one all day long."

"...If you're so worried about not having a maid around, why did you fire Sakuya-san?"

"Because...it just wasn't working out, okay?" This wasn't working, either. I left, passing Patchouli's assistant on the way. "You enjoy the tea with Patchy." She smiled. I think I did something right.

I hoped that I would be able to get some time to myself to think things over...I was already starting to miss Sakuya. That wasn't a surprise. My life got so much better when she showed up. I didn't have time to reflect, however, as my sister was waiting for me. "Oneechan? Where's Sakuya-san? She was going to bring me over to Okuu-chan's place!"

"I guess news doesn't travel around here. Sakuya's no longer our maid."

"Why not?"

"Because I didn't want her to be."

"...You're lying."

"What? Flandre, how dare you accuse me of—"

"You love her, don't you? The two of you...I can tell. You're like a couple."

I quickly tried to change the subject. "Come on, Flan-chan. I'll take you to go see Okuu-chan.

She clearly wasn't satisfied, but relented. Nevertheless, the way both Patchouli and Flandre reacted...and everything Sakuya said and did...I couldn't stop thinking about it as we headed towards the entrance to the Underworld.

.

.

.

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)

"So...you really enjoy being with Okuu-chan, don't you?" I asked, trying to make conversation so as to get my mind on another topic.

"Yeah, she's a really good friend!" Flandre replied. "But I don't think it's that love thing. That's what it was you didn't want to talk to me about, right? Why Mari-chan and Alice-chan got 'married'? Or like Reimu-chan and Sanae-chan—"

"You already heard, then?"

"Huh...heard what?" my sister asked.

"Reimu-san and Sanae-san!" replied the diminutive oni. "They're going to be getting married! I'm supposed to be getting together a party for their resolution of this incident, but I think I'm also supposed to be spreading the news, because apparently it was a secret before and now it's not because they told me, and I can do that 'cause I can be in lots of places at once."

"...What incident?" I asked.

"That one!" she replied, pointing at the blackness that I'd failed to see encroaching.

"...Well, shit."

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)
This is not enough

For some reason, the oni continued onwards with us, I guess to continue spreading word of Reimu and Sanae's engagement. Presumably this was only one of many bodies she had active at this time; I don't know. At least her chattering was keeping my mind vaguely occupied, as was the odd darkness.

Wait...my mind. We were headed toward the home of a mind reader. I had a feeling I was about to be confronted with some uncomfortable truths.

I'm in serious shit, I feel totally lost
If I'm asking for help it's only because
Being with you has opened my eyes
Could I ever believe such a perfect surprise?

Mercifully, Satori left me alone. Exactly how mercifully, however...

"Wow. Satori-san seems to be actively avoiding you. You must really have a lot on your mind, huh? Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to talk about something else to get your mind off of it?" Orin asked me.

"Uh...the latter, I guess. Is that out of politeness, or would my thoughts actually be causing her pain?"

"It depends on what they're about. Any type of strong thoughts could work, not just painful ones. Although usually it's Koishi-san who really gets hit hard by perverted thoughts, because they often stay in people's subconscious."

"Well, I assure you that won't be an issue with me." Damnit, why'd she have to say that? Now I was having perverted thoughts about Sakuya...and about what Flandre and Utsuho might be up to, since of course we were leaving them alone.

I keep asking myself, wondering how
I keep closing my eyes but I can't block you out
Wanna fly to a place where it's just you and me
Nobody else so we can be free
Nobody else so we can be free

An interruption, as apparently there were some other visitors to this palace besides the three of us. "Hmm? Odd to see you down here, Yamame. Ah, I see…you were hoping Okuu could use her power over the sun to help revive this fairy? Well, I'm sorry, but she won't be using her power at the moment. Her girlfriend is over for a visit," Satori said. Then the oni told them about Reimu and Sanae, and Satori continued, "No, it's not about interrupting; neither of them even sees their relationship that way yet, though their feelings betray it. But Flandre is very sensitive to sunlight, and what's more her sister is here as well on this particular occasion." Well, there it was. Others knew we were here.

"Flandre...Scarlet? Seriously?" one asked.

"Who is that?" asked another.

"The Scarlet Sisters are these two powerful vampires, absolutely vicious," the first one informed the second. Okay, time to make my appearance...

"That's right. And I happen to be in a particularly bad mood today, so you'd better let my sister have her playdate in peace!" I snapped.

"How long have you been down here, then, Remilia-sama?" replied a spider youkai, whose voice was not one of the ones I'd heard before—the bug must have been the one informing the fairy of my reputation. "Because I would have thought that conditions such as these would be quite enjoyable to a vampire such as yourself—assuming you know to what I'm referring."

"The mysterious darkness. Not a bad thing, but it's obviously unnatural, which means the miko will fix it before long. This little oni informed me that she and her new fiancée are already on their way to do that," I replied.

"Well, we can wait. It's not like Sunny-chan will get better on her own if we don't," the fairy said.

"And if Reimu-san and Sanae-san take care of Ku—the darkness before that happens, the quickest way back to the surface is through the Underground Geyser Center," added the bug.

"Huh...it sounds like you actually know what's causing this darkness. Well, since it will probably be nighttime for real soon...I think I'm up for a bit of thunder-stealing. Anyone else want to come?"

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head
(Running through my head)

Nobody responded at first, stunned that I had actually offered the chance for companionship. "Okay, then, forget I said anything. You said there's a shortcut to the surface?"

"I'll come along," Orin said, "and show you the way."

"Count me in, I guess," said the bug, "Star-chan, you should stay here with Sunny-chan."

"You're not going out there without me!" added the spider, apparently the bug's lover. Talk about odd couples.

"I'm coming too! …I guess," the oni cried. Well, time to resolve an incident.

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head

We quickly ascended to the surface, with me leading the way and the others using Orin's ghost lights and the bug's tail light—Wriggle, I learned was her name—to see where they were going to follow me. This was going to be fun, leading a team to try to steal the glory away from those shrine maidens...

Wait...leading a team? Fun? No, I was a solitary type...wasn't I? Damnit, Sakuya...even when you're gone, I can't stop being more human-like.

Sakuya...

All the things she said
All the things she said
(All the things she said)
This is not enough

The darkness felt thicker, and I heard something moving around. Did we find the culprit almost right away? A youkai that I recognized, one who lived not far from the mansion. One who was always surrounded by darkness...this had to be it. "So, you're the one responsible for this, eh? Well, personally I like the darkness, but someone's going to end up resolving this incident, so it might as well be me. Scarlet Sign |Red the Nightless Castle|!"

"Damnit, another one? And this one can see in the dark," cried...wait, who? It looked like it was that darkness youkai, but the voice seemed different.

"Hey, Rumia-chan! Whatever happened to just waiting around for Reimu-san to take care of the incident?" Wriggle called out.

"I never agreed to that! Neesan and I are getting along much better now!" The voice I'd originally expected.

"Don't push it, Rumia-chan," deadpanned the earlier voice.

The next thing I knew, both the enemy and I had been impaled by a barrage of knives. Instinctively I cried out, "Ah! Sakuya, watch where you're throwing those knives!" Then it sank in: Sakuya. "…Oh, wait, I get it; you hit me on purpose, didn't you?"

"I can't see very well in this darkness," came the reply from my former maid. "I merely attacked the source of the sound. I did hit the darkness youkai as well, didn't I?"

"Hmm…I guess I deserved that," I replied. "And yeah, you did well—that's how I know that it wasn't a mistake. No one else got hit besides her and me. Of course, now that your attention is on me, she's getting away."

"But not without a parting gift," came the voice of the more confident one. "Darkness Sign |Midnight Oil|!" A powerful attack. This youkai may be sharing a body with what seems to be a fairly weak, but she's obviously pretty strong—possibly almost as strong as me.

And too strong for Sakuya to take on by herself. "Don't be foolish, Sakuya-chan!"

Ya Soshla S Uma - Ma!
This is not enough
All the things she said
All the things she said

She wasn't. Not only were the two shrine maidens also here, they were accompanied by the border youkai's shikigami, Ran and Chen. "Good; you're not so stupid as to try to take this on all by yourself," I told her.

"What, were you worried about me?"

I was, wasn't I? "Hmm…maybe."

After a bit, she said, "I think they've got this under control."

"And I was so looking forward to stealing their thunder," I replied. "Well, I guess I should head back and see how Flandre's doing. Are you coming?"

"La—Remilia-sama…"

"It's your choice. You're not bound to do what I say, because you don't work for me right now. But…I wouldn't mind your company."

"I-I'd like that, yes. Um…Remi…san?"

"Yes?"

"Huh? No, nothing. I just wasn't sure what I should call you now."

What was she going on about? "Whatever you want, as long as it isn't something insulting." Seriously, making something out of nothing...I hoped that she didn't see what was going on, because I think I started to blush.

And I'm all mixed up, feeling cornered and rushed
They say it's my fault but I want her so much
Wanna fly her away where the sun and rain
Come in over my face, wash away all the shame

Wriggle then came over with a fairy. "Sakuya-san, you two are headed back to the Nuclear Furnace, right? Could you take Luna-chan with you?" I guess this fairy must have been friends with the two I saw earlier.

"Sure, no problem," she replied. We headed back into the Underworld.

Flandre was just exiting Utsuho's room as we arrived. "Perfect timing," Satori said, "Now, let's bring the fairy in to be, um, 'treated'." Apparently even Satori was a little confused by the idea of her nuclear hell raven actually being able to heal someone. I couldn't help but smile at seeing her confused.

"So...Sakuya..."

When they stop and stare - don't worry me
'Cause I'm feeling for her what she's feeling for me
I can try to pretend, I can try to forget
But it's driving me mad, going out of my head

"Yes…?"

"I'm…sorry. I shouldn't have fired you. But more importantly…I shouldn't have ignored your feelings. Or my feelings. I guess what I'm asking is…will you please come back?"

"As a maid? Or as…"

"We'll see. It depends on if I can find another maid, I guess. Although I've heard that in households that can't afford maids, such tasks are typically the job of the wife…"

Her eyes went wide. "You don't mean..."

"What? Oh, no, no! Of course not. That would just be weird. I just meant that it would be likethat."

"R-right."

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head
Running through my head

"So does this mean you're coming back, Sakuya-chan?" Flandre asked.

"Yep. I'm coming back," she replied.

Utsuho and the fairy came out, the latter finally revived. "Sunny-chan!" Both of the other fairies jumped on top of her, their joy evident. Once they were done celebrating being reunited, the first one, I think they called her Star, told the other two, "I kind of promised that we'd build Cirno-chan a new house. Seeing how much she and her friends helped you two, you don't have a problem with that, right?"

"Of course not," Sunny said. "It will give us a great opportunity to set up some more pranks!"

"...Harmless ones, right?"

"In the long run, yeah."

"...Good enough."

"Oh, Flan-chan, you haven't left yet!" Utsuho said.

"We were just leaving. See you soon," Flan responded, and the two embraced, kissing each other on the cheek. Yeah, it was only a matter of time with those two.

All the things she said
All the things she said
Running through my head
Running through my head

We took the "long way" out, passing the other two fairies as we went. "Okay, you two; everything's pretty much over. You can head back to wherever you came from," I told them.

We arrived back at the mansion. "I see you've come to your senses," Patchy said.

"Yeah, yeah."

"There was someone by here earlier inquiring about the daytime gatekeeper position. Her qualifications seem to be more than sufficient, but I told her that I didn't have the authority to make such a decision." She handed me some paperwork.

"I'll...look over this later, okay?" I wasn't in the mood to be worrying about that right now. Right now...was a time for me and Sakuya.

All the things she said
All the things she said
This is not enough
This is not enough

CCX: Uh-oh...looks like this song really did overwhelm us. There's not much more we can do with Chapter 18B. It looks like the songfic is going to have to continue into...the Extra Stage.

Disclaimers: Kuroi Yagami © Cyberchao X 2011-2012
All other characters © ZUN 1996-2012
"All the Things She Said" © Sergio Galoyan, Trevor Horn, Martin Kierszenbaum, Elena Kiper, and Valeriy Polienko 2002