You are my Sunshine, a queer as folk fanfic

Introduction and Disclaimers:

Don't worry, I'll keep this short. It's just after 5 long years, I finally re-watched the series online and was soooo disappointed when they called off the wedding that …well this came into my mind and stuck in there like a splinter. And all you writers out there know that the only way to get those kind of fantasies out is to write them out. I did mean this to be a script but I saw in this site's rules that no script versions are allowed…so….I novelized it! :-p I do think it would have had a more powerful effect as a script but…rules are rules so…c'est la vie. So, stupid or not, here it is: Oh yeah, and now on to the ….

Disclaimers: This was written for closure and cathartic reasons only. For entertainment purposes only. Not to be used for commercial gain or profit of any kind. This is meant as fanfic only. No copyright infringement is intended.

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE

An Alternate Scene for the Series Finale of Queer as Folk

Just a piece of romantic fanfic

It was the day of Brian and Justin's rehearsal dinner. The day was clear and bright. The gang arrived to the dining hall in twos and threes and soon they were all there. Debbie and Carl, Ted and Emmett, Michael, Ben, and Hunter, Daphne, Justin's mom, Jennifer, and Mel and Lindsay. Everyone stood around making indistinct chatter and admiring the dining hall.

The large hall was filled with large circular tables with beautiful plate settings and silver cutlery. The plates were white with gold trim and the glasses were crystal goblets. The tablecloths were burgundy red which matched the carpet exactly. The lighting came from dozens of crystal chandeliers.

"It's a rehearsal dinner but what's to rehearse? They say I do and then they do it, said Ted.

"But what do you get the man who's had everyone?" asked Ben.

Everyone laughed.

"A water buffalo," suggested Lindsay.

"Why'd the hell would Brian want to fuck that?" Debbie asked.

"It's to help Cambodian farmers plow their fields and provide milk for their children, explained Lindsay.

"Well that is so much more imaginative than say…a sterling silver place setting from Tiffany's," Jennifer said jokingly.

There were some polite titters.

Daphne said, "Justin's already got everything he's ever wanted."

" I know how he feels," Carl said. He and Debbie shared a sweet kiss.

At that moment, Brian and Justin entered the hall. They both looked impossibly handsome. They were dressed in matching black suits with deep pink ties and white shirts. Justin wore a radiant but reserved smile and Brian had on his usual smirk. Everybody cheered, hooted and hollered at the happy couple. The two men waited until the noise had died down.

"We would like to thank you all for coming to our rehearsal dinner" Justin began.

"However….. there's nothing to rehearse. The weddings off," Brian dropped the bomb.

There was a stunned silence. Then, a few nervous laughs. They were joking….right?

"No, it's true. We decided not to get married," Justin clarified.

There was more stunned silence. Then some murmuring. Everyone was very disappointed. Debbie sat heavily on a chair.

"Well….How the fuck do you return a water buffalo?" she groused.

"What happened? Why the change of heart?" Ben asked.

"It was a mutual decision, said Justin, "Brian was turning into a completely different person trying to please me and we felt it was important for me to go to New York."

Brian glanced at Justin and felt a rush of affection for the young man. Suddenly he had a flash of memory. A flash of when Justin had run away to New York using his credit card number. Brian had run after the young man under the premise of getting his money back and bringing him to justice but the truth was, he'd been scared witless. He'd had nightmares of Justin go-go dancing, hustling, raped, getting AIDS, or worse.

Eventually, he'd found him in a palace of a hotel room that HE was paying for…

Brian remembered forcing his way into the room. "What were you planning on doing next?" he'd asked.

Justin had shrugged. "I figured eventually the police would come…but I WAS hoping you'd get here first," he'd said.

Brian remembered how Justin had dropped off his thick white robe revealing that he was not wearing a stitch underneath. It had made Brian instantly hard. It made him hard now. He remembered them in the shower. And then they had fucked, long and slow all night. Hell, the room had been paid for anyway, right?

Brian jolted back to the present. "Right," he agreed.

"So this way I can practice and sell art in New York and Brian can continue to be a brilliant ad man and re-build Babylon," Justin continued.

Again, Brian had flashes of memory. Memories. Lots of them, of him fucking in the back room. Many of them were good but they always ended the same, with him going home alone. And then there was the time the doctor found the lump in his testicle. The time someone had given him syphilis. Fuck, he might have gotten HIV!

Back in the present, Brian shook his head slightly and smiled gamely. He had no desire to rebuild Babylon but he couldn't let anyone else know that.

Jennifer also sat down in another chair near Debbie and looked very disappointed. Justin went to her and hugged her.

"Don't worry Mom. It's not like other times. He didn't dump me…"

Brian flashed back to the time when Justin had forgotten to set his security alarm and his loft was burglarized. He had poured out his wrath on the boy, screaming at him to get out. Then, worse, to when he didn't want him around when he was going through radiation and physically shoved Justin out of the loft. Brian's stomach contracted painfully. What was this? What was this feeling? Was this…guilt? Impossible. With difficulty, Brian focused on what Justin was saying.

Justin was saying, "I didn't dump him…"

As clear as day, Brian was back at Babylon. It was the night of the Rage party and Justin was kissing Ethan. Leaving with Ethan. Brian remembered how his insides had twisted with jealousy and hate. That fucking fiddle playing twat! And then another memory, a while before the bomb explosion, when Justin had finally had enough and left, kissing him bittersweetly goodbye. Inside, he'd been destroyed. But he'd hid it well, both times

"…we decided this together. We still love each other. We don't need a ceremony to prove that. And no matter where we are in the world, even if we're separated permanently, we'll always remember the time we had together. Right Brian?"

Separated….permanently! What was he talking about? Fuck, that sounded so….permanent.

And suddenly, Brian was assaulted with a myriad of memories.

Their first time. Justin's toes curling. Cumming all over his duvet as he got the call about Gus. Justin naming Gus. Then later…

"I'm going home with him"

Then, fucking…no…making love, all night long.

In the New York hotel: "I was hoping you'd get here first"

A memory of the subrogate hustler Brian had fucked when Justin had left him for Ethan.

"I'm killing you with kindness. It's been a highly effective tactic to achieving one's goals"

"Get your ass back in bed, you SON OF A BITCH!" From when he had radiation.

After the bombing: Brian saying for the first time. "I love you. I love you. Kissing Justin's sooty face.

And interspersed with these, dozens of images of them fuc…making love. In the shower, pressed up against the glass. In bed. At Babylon. Images flashed through Brian's mind faster and faster. As fast as cards shuffling. More and more, faster and faster and faster…

"Right, Brian?" Justin repeated.

Brian was completely disoriented. "What?"

"I said, even if we're separated, we'll always remember the good times and love each other, right?"

"No," Brian said softly.

"What?" Justin asked.

"No," Brian said, clearer and louder

"What do you mean, no?" Justin asked, confused.

"I can't let you go. Not like this."

"What are you talking about? You can't stop me. I'm going."

"That's not what I meant!" Brian growled.

"Well then, what did you mean?" Justin asked belligerently.

Brian was still disoriented from his psychedelic experience. "Look, I just meant…I just meant…."

"Yes?"

"I-I-I don't want-I can't be separated from you."

Everyone, including Justin was dumbfounded.

"Brian what are you talking about? I thought we talked things over."

Brian didn't know what to say. What could he say? They had talked about things. But they were all the wrong things. Brian thought fast. And then, like a miracle, a final memory flitted through his mind.

Well, I think it takes real courage to stand up and proclaim your love….off key, said Emmett.

And so, Brian began to sing, hesitantly at first, then picked up. It was deep, masculine, and on key. He fixed Justin with a intense, penetrating gaze. Justin was caught, hypnotized, a deer in the headlights and stared back.

Brian sang:

YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE

MY ONLY SUNSHINE

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN SKIES ARE GREY

YOU'LL NEVER KNOW DEAR, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU,

PLEASE DON'T TAKE MY SUNSHINE AWAY

As he sang, Brian mimed throwing a lasso over Justin. Justin played along, miming getting caught, he arms pinned to his sides. Brian pulled him hand over hand toward him. Step by step, Justin was reeled in. They never broke eye contact. By the end of the verse they were together. Brian grabbed Justin by the forearm just below the elbow. Justin grabbed Brian's forearm below the elbow. He didn't understand what was going on but he could see this was important to Brian. Slowly they began to pivot, to turn in a circle, locked arm in arm, still in unbroken eye contact. Brian began to sing again and as if it were planned, although it wasn't, Justin joined him in a duet. With Brian's baritone and Justin's alto, it was hauntingly beautiful.

Brian: YOU ARE MY SUNSHINE

Justin: I AM YOUR SUNSHINE

B: MY ONLY SUNSHINE

J: YOUR ONLY SUNSHINE

B: YOU MAKE ME HAPPY WHEN SKIES ARE GREY

J: I'LL MAKE YOU HAPPY WHEN SKIES ARE GREY

Both: YOU'LL NEVER KNOW DEAR, HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU

B: PLEASE DON'T TAKE…

J: NO, I WON'T TAKE…

B: MY SUNSHINE AWAYYYYY

J: YOUR SUNSHINE AWAYYYY.

And throughout, they never stop turning, never broke eye contact, although Brian always remained dominant, holding Justin's gaze, hypnotic, through the sheer force of his will.

Everyone else watched on in varying degrees of amazement, disbelief, happiness and joy. But throughout the song the two lovers didn't notice, didn't care. It was as if they were the only two in the room….the world.

As they sang, Justin knew there was something more, something deeper going on. Brian was changing. There was metamorphosis going on here that Justin couldn't place but it was happening all right. As he stared deep into Brian's dark eyes, unable to look away, something supernatural happened. A piece of his bright soul, his "sunshine" flew out of him and shone out of Brian's eyes and at the same time, it was exchanged by a piece of Brian's ravaged soul, and Justin knew it would be a part of him, forever.

When they finished, Brian pulled Justin close.

"I don't want to wait for another bomb. I can't be separated from you ever again. I love you. Marry me."

"I think I just did. Didn't we? I felt something happen. Something I can't explain. Did you feel it?"

Brian nodded. "I felt it. Look Justin, I-I-I …well, hell, I WANT to please you. Anyway you want. It will change me in ways I don't even know yet. I'm changed already. You did that. And I'll promise never to ask you to cuddle again."

Justin smiled sensually, "Well, let's not write that in stone. Oh, but what about New York?

"Oh you're still taking a bite of that big apple. Brian quipped, "Only wear my ring. Go as my husband. Same rules apply. No names. No numbers. No-one more than once. No promises. No regrets. Only difference is, don't forget that ultimately…you belong to me. And every so often you'll come back to me, or I'll come to you and I'll strip you naked and fuck you hard for a week. And watch you paint."

"You'll be too distracting. I'll just end up painting you nude all week." Justin said.

"Fine by me," Brian said, smugly, "So what do you say?"

"I do."

They kissed hard. Everybody cheered.

Finally, they broke apart and Brian smiled. Really smiled, from ear to ear, in a way nobody had ever seen before. It was a little scary.

OK folks! Who wants some dinner!" he bellowed.

Everyone cheered again.

They were still cheering sometime later when Brian and Justin stood in front of an official and gave unwavering vows.

Justin wore a white tuxedo with a white bow tie. His hair glowed like the sunshine he was nicknamed after. Brian, unconventional as always, wore a white shirt with puffy upper arms and a tie up front which he did NOT tie up. He wore skintight black leather gloves and used them to hold Justin's hand whenever possible. What nobody else knew, though, is that he was constantly lightly stroking Justin's palm with a leathered finger. It was driving Justin mad. He loved it. Brian also wore white leather pants and black leather boots that reached to the knees. He looked like an old fashioned swashbuckler, a rogue, which he was.

Justin thought he was the sexiest, most mouthwatering sight he had ever seen. "You will be fucking me tonight with those boots and gloves on," he told Brian.

"I trust it will be all right if I remove my pants to do it," Brian mimicked.

"Hmmmm….we'll see," Justin drawled, running a discreet finger up Brian's crack, "They are delectable."

There was a bit of a hitch, when they came to the rings as Brian realized he would have to take off one of his gloves to display the ring on his left hand. As always, he solved the problem easily. Slowly and deliberately, he took the ring from Justin. Then he slowly partially unthreaded the leather shoestring crisscrossing his chest. He slipped on the ring. Slowly, with a sensual smirk, the one that always drove Justin crazy with wanting to kiss it, Brian rethreaded the shoestring and then tied it loosely in a neat bow. The ring hung there over his heart, right in front of Justin's eyes for the rest of the celebration.

They signed in the right places, said, I do in the right places, and they were pronounced joined and married. Brian bent and kissed Justin, long and deep, with a deep dip.

Later, back at the reception hall, at the head table, they were kings who held court. Of course, Debbie and the gang were at the head table with them but the hall was filled with all their friends and acquaintances as well. The hall was filled with trannies, leather types, bears, musclemen, lesbians, etc.

At last, Brian and Justin got up to dance. They had the first dance, a beautiful waltz, just like the first one at the prom. Eventually Michael and Ben joined them. The Deb and Carl. Then Daphne and her date. Then Emmett and Ted. Then, straight and gay…everyone else.

As they slowly danced, Brian started lightly kissing Justin's cheeks, then downward, kissing his neck lightly.

"What are you doing?" Justin asked, happily.

"I'm killing you with kindness. It's a highly effective technique to achieving one's goals."

His face lit up as he heard his own words quoted to him. "Why do I feel your goals are different than mine were?" Justin asked.

Brian smiled wolfishly. "Because you're a smart man."

He leaned down and kissed Justin hard, seriously. Both of them were still turning, kissing, holding onto each other as they shot each other's equilibrium to hell.

THE END

All right there you go. I told you, nothing much. Love it, hate it, laugh at it. I still needed to do it. No apologies. No regrets.

Feedback is welcome.