Insert Witty Title Here

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I, Sirius Black, hate Charms.

I really hate Charms.

I really, really hate Charms.

How can I explain this better? It isn't that I hate the actual act of Charming and I don't particularly hate the class. It is more the book.

There it is. I hate the Charms book. Not my Charms book.

I hate Remus Lupin's Charms book.

Perhaps it would help if I took you back to the beginning.

"I'm going to take it and follow him," I say, holding my hand out to James expectantly.

No, no. That was a few hours ago. We need to go back further.

"I know you have a secret, Moony," I say, staring down at Remus and giving him my most charming smile.

Wrong again. That isn't far enough.

"Dang it, I left my Charms book in the library," Remus says, letting his bag fall heavily onto the floor.

There we go. You see, the dreaded Charms book. That's where this all started. That was the moment when things just went...wrong.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~

"Dang it, I left my Charms book in the library," Remus says, letting his bag fall heavily onto the floor. "I'm gonna run back and get it. You guys don't start without me." He turns from the room and is out of sight before the rest of us can protest.

The rest of us, the Marauders as we are so fond of calling ourselves, are now anxiously awaiting the return of our fourth so that we can get started. I take a glance around our sixth year boys' dormitory room.

Note: ONE casually mussed James Potter (plus) ONE eagerly bouncing Peter Pettigrew (plus) ONE strikingly handsome Sirius Black (plus) ONE large bottle of Firewhiskey (equals) ONE potentially fantastic(slash)potentially horrible night.

James drops himself onto the floor and leans against the foot of his bed, his legs kicked out in front of him, something he has taken to doing a lot since his height has become increasingly close to Remus'. Show off. Peter chooses to perch himself on the end of leant upon bed and stare longingly at the bottle clutched in my hand. I join James on the floor and place the bottle between my legs, ensuring that no one will be touching in until Remus returns.

We wait.

Ten minutes have passed, the normal amount of time it takes a rushing Remus Lupin to get to the Hogwarts library from our dormitory and back again. As we pass the twenty minute mark, we all assume that Remus is walking rather than rushing, an assumption that finds us all a bit annoyed as we are waiting for him to get his...Charms book. Half an hour melts beneath us and now, James is in a state. He stares at the door, climbs to his feet and turns to me.

"We should go ahead and start without him," James says, pointing to the bottle still held between my legs.

I shake my head in protest, but honestly, I am considering the same thing. "We aren't going to start without him," I say, rolling my eyes at James' impatience. It isn't like he knows I'm thinking the same thing. "We can just wait. I'm sure that he got held up by a teacher or maybe he couldn't find the book." I shrug and return to staring at the door.

An hour has passed since Remus Lupin left the room to get his Charms book and the three of us are done with waiting. I open the bottle, James hands out the glasses, leaving Remus' on his own nightstand, and Peter scoots himself onto the floor with James and I.

We drink.

We keep drinking.

The bottle falls empty to the ground as James, Peter and I finish the last of the Firewhiskey. It has been three hours since Remus Lupin left the room to get his Charms book. In our drunken state we have moved from annoyance at Remus' absence, to anger at Remus' absence and have now settled onto raving paranoia and fear at Remus' absence.

"He was bagged by a group of Slytherins. I just know it!" James shouts, pushing one hand into his already mussed hair. "We have to go find him, guys. What if he is tied up in the Slytherin common room being poked with...poking...things?"

Poking things? Yes, I know. Drunk, remember?

"James, you're right. He could have been attacked in the halls before he even got to the library," Peter chimes in, beginning to pace back and forth across the crimson carpet. "I bet that a bunch of gits hexed him and now...now he's laying on the floor, stuffed into some dark corner trying to call for help but he can't."

"They probably petrified him!" I shout. Typically, paranoia isn't my thing, but James and Peter are so convincing. "We have to go find him! Where's the map?"

"He has the map, you bloody fool, don't you think we would have used it by now if we had it," James says, pushing me out of his way so that he can reach his trunk. "I'll get the cloak. Peter, you turn into your rat and Sirius and I will go under the cloak. We should start with the library and move onto th-"

"James! He's here," Peter interrupts, pointing towards the dormitory door where Remus is standing, causing myself and James to turn towards it.

Note: ONE Charms book clutched tightly to chest (plus) ONE overly goofy grin upon lips (plus) ONE sudden aversion to looking anywhere other than the carpet (equals) ONE seriously suspicious Remus Lupin.

"We were so worried!" James yells, throwing his arms around Remus in a rather undignified manner. "We were sure that you were locked up in the dungeons."

"Being poked," Peter adds, nodding vehemently at Remus.

Remus blushes, his eyes still refusing to leave the floor. "I'm fine guys, I just got...held up. I see you weren't that worried," he says as he points towards the empty bottle of Firewhiskey on the floor.

Instantly James, Peter and myself are stuttering out excuses for drinking without him. It is odd, we seemed to have a logical one when we started drinking, though when faced with the question, we were finding ourselves without a reason.

"It's fine guys, really. I'm sorry I worried you." Remus hugs his book tighter to his chest and glances up, quickly meeting the eyes of Peter, then James, then...not me. He skips me. His eyes go back to the floor and he walks over to his bed, then tosses his book onto it. "I'm kinda tired," he says. "I think I'll just have a shower then go to bed." He gathers his clothes and into the bathroom he goes, a rather glazed look to his eyes.

If I didn't know better, I'd say he had been doing a bit of drinking himself. But I do, so I don't and instead I turn to James. "What do you think he was doing?" I ask.

James shrugs and gets a very Marauderish smile upon his face. "Want to try and sneak up the stairs to the girl's dormitories and scare them?"

I nod. We go.

The detention is only three weeks of scrubbing the girls' bathroom floors clean without magic but in those three weeks Remus Lupin has seemed to have acquired himself a secret.

"What did you do while we were in detention. Moony?" I ask, dropping onto the boy's bed and laying out on it.

Remus stares down at his hands and twists them together. The corner of his eyes twitches and I know it is coming. A lie. "I just studied. Worked on that Potions essay."

"I thought you finished that Potions essay this morning," I say. I already know he's lying, but I prod anyways.

"I wanted to make it a little better. Added in a bit about the knotgrass." Eye twitch. Remus sits down onto his bed and leans against the headboard. He pulls his bag onto the bed with him and takes a book from it.

I let out a heavy sigh and shove his bag to the floor. "You've studied the last three hours while we were scrubbing floors." I point to James and Peter, who are milling about the room doing something or the other, I don't much know. "Let's all sneak down to the kitchens and get some of those brownies from lunch."

Remus hesitates but Peter and James are at the bed, pulling his arms and leading him towards the door before he has a chance to argue.

In order to celebrate our release from detention, the next day, the Marauders decide to head outside. With our bags left in the dormitory, we are determined to have a little fun while the weather is nice. The four Marauders leave out from the dormitory and three arrive at the willow, not the Whomping of course, beside the lake. I am baffled.

How did we lose Remus?

I turn to James and throw my hands up. "Where in Godric's name is Remus?" I ask, looking back towards the castle with an exceedingly annoyed frown upon my face.

James shrugs. Can he even do anything else? "I don't know. He was with us when we started out here." He drops onto the ground and leans back against the tree, digging into his pocket for what I know is going to be that Snitch.

"He mumbled something about a book and ducked into the library when we passed it," Peter answers, falling onto the ground beside James and staring at the hint of gold now clutched in the boy's hand.

"What?" I yell. "When was this? I didn't see him."

"You and James were talking about the squid and whether you could get Snape to kiss it," Peter says, looking up at me like I've become a mad man.

I laugh. We are fairly sure with the right amount of 'bet you couldn't' we can get that greasy git to plant one on the Giant Squid in the lake. That isn't the point right now though, the point is Remus has ducked out on us. Now that leaves the question of 'why'.

I leave James and Peter sitting by the willow and stomp rather childishly back into the castle, head straight for the library and push open the doors with a bit more force than needed.

Note: ONE library door banging loudly against wall (plus) ONE equally annoyed glare coming from, count seventeen, students (plus) ZERO Remus Lupins (equals) ONE very uncomfortable and slightly confused Sirius Black.

Three days later, I stand over Remus' bed and fold my arms over my chest. "I know you have a secret, Moony," I say, staring down at Remus and giving him my most charming smile. "You might as well tell me what you've been up to. Save me the trouble of figuring it out for myself."

"I don't have a secret," Remus says, not looking up from his bag. Eye twitch. "Even if I did, it would be my secret." Eye twitch. "So it wouldn't be any of your business to figure out." Eye twitch.

"Remember when you had that secret about being a werewolf?" I ask, sitting down on the bed in front of Remus. He nods, so I continue. "Then after a while, I figured it out and every thing was okay." I scowl and rip Remus' bag from his hands, rolling my eyes at the way he clings tightly to the Charms book already in his lap.

"What's your point?" Remus asks.

"Remember the time that you had that secret about where you stashed your best chocolates so James and I wouldn't snag them?" I ask. He nods, so I continue. "It only took me a week to figure out they were in a fake shampoo bottle."

"Are you going to be making a point soon?" Remus asks, looking up at me. His eyes meet mine for a fleeting moment, then it is back to staring at his book. His Charms book.

"Remember that time that you had the that secret about sneaking away from your Prefect rounds to snog Mar-"

"Sirius, the point!" Remus yells.

I flinch. Remus has never yelled at me before and it is quite a scary feeling. "My point," I say, straightening out my shirt and attempting to regain a bit of dignity. "Is that every time you've had a secret, I've riddled it out. I'm good at figuring out your secrets."

"That doesn't mean that I should just tell you something I don't want to," Remus says. "Not that there is something to tell." Eye twitch. "Why don't you just...why don't you mind your own business on this, Padfoot. Please, just stop bugging me. I don't have a secret." Eye twitch.

"Fine." By no means am I letting this go, I just feel that at this moment, I shouldn't push any harder. I stand up and walk away from Remus, stepping just outside of the door and peeking back in after a moment.

Remus looks down at his Charms book and opens it. Rather than flip the pages, he reaches into it and pulls out a scrap of parchment. He closes the book, pushes it away and stares down at the scrap.

Note: ONE suspicious scrap of parchment in Remus' book (plus) ONE increasingly wide smile on Remus' face (equals) ONE answer to all my questions.

I dash into the room and make a mad grab for the scrap of parchment clutched in Remus' hands. He cries out, whether from surprise or anger I do not know, and tightens his fist around the parchment. After a moment, we are both on the floor, myself straddling my friend, his fist held between my hands and my fingers attempting to pry his open.

Damn werewolf strength.

I feel something sharp hit my side and soon I am sprawled on the ground with a wide eyed James Potter staring down at me, his wand clutched in his hand. "Did you just hex me?" I yell, though I am more than certain I deserved it.

"You were attacking Moony!" James yells back, pointing towards Remus.

Remus is now on his feet, smoothing out his clothing and running his fingers through his hair to make it right again. The cold glare he shoots me is enough to chill my bones and then I see something else. There are tears in his eyes. Remus is crying and it is my fault. I reach my hand up towards him, but he is out of the room before I can stutter an apology. I climb to my feet and glance over at Remus' bed where his Charms book still lay.

Nine days pass before Remus speaks to me again.

"Could you pass the potatoes?" Remus asks, staring straight at me, his voice casual as though he hadn't been ignoring my existence for the last week, plus some.

My heart leaps and I pass him the potatoes. He gives me a small smile as a thank you and our dinner continues, though it has suddenly become so much less tense. I watch Remus carefully, wondering if I am forgiven or if the potatoes were simply too good to allow our 'argument' to prevent getting them. I can't help but notice the way his eyes flick over my shoulder several time during the course of the meal. I lift my arms to yawn, a fake one of course, and casually glance behind me.

Nothing seems to be worth staring at. It is merely the Slytherin table, full of, obviously, Slytherins, all having dinner, same as we are. I look back at Remus and meet his eyes for a moment. He smiles. I smile back and my heart leaps again. Eye twitch. I sigh.

"Is everything alright, Moony?" I ask, leaning forward on the table a bit to get closer.

Remus nods and gives me a smile. His eyes are steady and I smile back. I return to my food, but not before catching him glance over my shoulder once more. This time I am less discreet and turn around to see exactly what he is looking at. Nothing worth seeing. Same old slimy Slytherins. I look back to Remus and frown.

"What are you looking at?" I ask.

Remus looks confused, though not genuinely confused, and shakes his head nonchalantly. "Nothing. Just glancing around," he answers. Eye twitch.

I want to scream, but I don't. The last thing I want is another Remus-Lupin-silent-treatment. I shudder at the thought and force myself to keep my eyes on my meal.

The next morning brings a Saturday and unfortunately a rainstorm, so we are all inside the dormitory room, spread out on the floor, studying. The sounds of growling stomachs fill the room and we all cast knowing looks towards each other. It is a quick game of 'rock, paper, scissors' before Remus stands up and lets out a heavy sigh. He leaves the room, charged with the task of bringing back a hearty snack for our growing minds.

I turn back to my essay and attempt to concentrate, but I can't help my mind from wandering to Remus' bag. It is sitting so close. I don't even have to move to reach it and Remus' Charms book is in my lap before I even realize it.

"What are you doing?" James asks, staring at me as though I'm a common sneak thief.

I feign the appearance of being stung by his words and scoff loudly. "I'm just checking a fact. My book is way over there," I answer, pointing my thumb behind me towards my bed. I ignore the unconvinced look on James' face and pull open the book. My heart beats so hard I feel like I'm about to cough it up onto the nice little scrap of parchment perched inside of the front cover of Remus' Charms book. I tilt the book so that the others can't see and make sure not to allow the note to slide from its spot as I read.

I'm glad you changed your mind.
I can't wait to see you again.
Meet me in our place tomorrow
night when you're on your rounds.

My eyes grow three times their normal size and I reach over towards James. I grab my friend by his shirt collar and shove the note under his face, forcing him to look at it. A quiet laugh escapes from him and I slam the book closed. I place Remus' book back into his bag, exactly how I found it, otherwise he would know, and nod at James with a knowing smirk on my lips.

"Did you write that?" he asks. "You aren't playing some kind of joke on him, are you?"

This time I am legitimately offended. I gape at James and give him a swift punch in the arm. "I didn't write that, you git!" I growl, narrowing my eyes at my messy haired friend.

"Sorry," James mutters, rubbing his arm and laughing at me once again. "It looks like your writing."

"Oh, it does not. That was a girl's handwriting." I roll my eyes at James naivety and turn my attention back to my homework, though my mind is racing on who Remus' secret girlfriend could be.

"Pads, I'm looking at your writing emright now/em and it looks the same." James points at one of my essays laying out on the ground beside me and purses his lips as though saying 'point made'.

I roll my eyes again. "That is because I write like a girl," I point out, amazed at how dense James can be sometimes. "I had a handwriting coach when I was younger and - Don't laugh at me. A lot of kids had them. A lot of kids like me, I mean. Can't have a big fancy Pure-blood with messy handwriting." I sigh loudly at the memories of the ridiculous lessons I had been forced into as a child and look back towards James. "Anyways, my coach was a woman and that was how I learned to write."

James continues to laugh and I throw my Potions book at him, turning his laughter into a flying tackle. We wrestle for a while before the smell of turkey sandwiches calls our attention to Remus reentering the room. I shoot James a stare that says 'don't tell him' and he shoots the same to Peter. We all stare up at Remus with innocent smiles and take a sandwich.

"What took so long?" I ask.

"Slughorn was in the kitchen. Had to wait for him to leave," Remus answers. Eye twitch.

Damn it!

James, Peter and I all sit innocently as Remus gathers his things and heads out of the common room to do his Prefect rounds the following night. No sooner than the portrait hole closes, the three of us are inside of the dorm room, making a mad dash for the Marauder's Map.

"Gone!" I yell as I turn out the drawer we keep it stashed in. For good measure, I dump the entire contents onto the floor and we three remaining Marauders stare down at the absence of the map.

Note: ONE sneaky friend (plus) ONE missing map (equals) THREE very confused Marauders.

"He took it with him," Peter says, his tone screaming 'I can't believe we thought he would be as stupid as to leave it when he was having a secret rendezvous with someone'.

James and I nod and we huff off to bed without knowing the identity of Remus' secret girlfriend.

The two nights following lead us to the same empty drawered discovery. Remus has really put us into a place. We can't ask him to leave the map because he would simply emnot/em meet up with the person, who we have taken to calling Moonette. Even worse, if we ask him, he might realize that we know about Moonette and it would be the Remus-Lupin-silent-treatment for all of us.

The next night, we find the map and the three of us hunch over it, staring like hawks at the tiny dot labeled 'Remus Lupin' as he makes his rounds. The vigilance proves to be fruitless as Remus had apparently not taken the map due to his not planning on meeting up with Moonette that night. We stash the map back in the drawer, as Remus nears the Gryffindor tower, then all jump into our beds and begin a mindless chatter about muggle rock music.

Finally, after two months of James, Peter and my attempts at discovering the identity of Moonette, I make a decision. I watch as Remus gathers his cloak and heads out of the common room to make his Prefect rounds. A quick check for the Marauder's Map leads me to believe that Remus will be seeing his mystery lady tonight.

"Give me your cloak," I order, turning to James and putting on a stern face.

"No. Wait...why?" James stares up at me with confusion in his eyes and shakes his head.

"I'm going to take it and follow him," I say, holding my hand out to James expectantly.

"No, you aren't." James stands up and waves his hands at Peter and I both. "This has gone too far already. We need to tell Moony that we saw the note a-"

"I didn't see any note," Peter interjects.

James huffs and continues. "We need to tell him that we know about the note and that we know he's seeing someone. Maybe if we're honest, he'll accept our apology and even tell us who Moonette is." He moves his eyes between mine and Peter's several times, urging us to agree.

While Peter caves quickly, I am not so easily swayed. "Give me the cloak, James. I can't take this anymore. I am going to follow him and I am going to find out who he's been seeing."

"Sirius, it isn't any of your busine-"

"I have to know!" I scream. I drag my palm across my forehead and feel something drape over my arm. I look down and run my fingers over the shimmering invisibility cloak now in my clutches.

"Just go, Padfoot," James whispers, his eyes locked sound on the carpet.

I think about speaking, I think about handing the cloak back, but in the end, I pull it over myself and tear out of the dormitory room. I race down the stairs and out of the portrait hole, desperate to find Remus, as I've already lost so much time in trying to get the cloak. I pass by several teachers, careful not to make too much sound and get myself discovered, then...I see him. I barely catch the back of Remus' head as he rounds a corner. I chase after him, but stop just before reaching the edge of the wall.

My hands come from under the cloak and I pull it from over my head. Carefully, I fold the cloak and drape it over my arm, feeling sick at my stomach at what I was about to do to Remus. I have no intention of going back to the common room without answers, I just refuse to be sneaky any longer. If I am going to catch Remus with Moonette and discover her identity, then I am going to make damn sure he knows I am doing it.

I take several deep breaths and lick my lips before turning the corner and clearing my throat loudly. A flurry of movement passes before my eyes as I walk slowly towards what appears to be Remus and a shorter figure. The tall figure, who is unmistakeably Remus, shoves the shorter figure back behind a statue and stands in front of it, shielding my view.

Another few steps and I am standing face to face with Remus, his eyes locked down onto mine. Remus' body shakes in fear and I grow slightly confused. Having me discover the identity of Moonette should be annoying, upsetting and even a little angering, but to have him look genuinely terrified was making my stomach do flips. I raise one eyebrow and stare up at Remus, allowing my mind to sort out everything that I know.

Note: ONE secret rendezvous having friend (plus) ONE mystery lover he doesn't want us to know about (plus) ONE conveniently missing map (plus) ONE newly acquired aversion to meeting my eyes (plus) ONE inability to stop glancing towards the Slytherin table (plus) ONE note bearing handwriting almost identical to my own (plus) ONE hidden person behind a statue (plus) ONE wide eyed, horror stricken Remus Lupin (equals) ...

I push one hand up into my hair and shake my head slowly. My thoughts begin to replay themselves, over and over I rethink the math but I can't come to the answer. I make several attempts to see the figure behind the statue, but I can't get close enough. Remus puts his hands on my chest and starts to push me down the hallway, away from Moonette. He speaks, but I can't understand him because my mind is replaying the math once more. This time...I find the answer.

Note: It all (equals) ONE sneaky, slimy, low down, under handed, dirty, best friend snogging BROTHER!

"Regulus?" I whisper, a question at first. Remus' body runs rigid and his eyes widen further than they already were. I have my answer. I push Remus away from me and step around him, then start walking straight for the statue. "Regulus!" I shout as I near him.

My brother steps out from his hiding spot and instantly shields his face, fifteen years being my little brother has taught him well.

"I'm not going to hit you," I growl.

Regulus drops his hands and I smirk. Not well enough, apparently. My fist finds its way onto my brother's nose before I even have to think about it. A crunching sound shoots through the still hallway and I recoil my hand, already feeling the blood on it without having to look and see. Regulus' hand cups over his bleeding nose and his other starts to come towards me. Remus is between us in an instant, his hands pushing my brother away from me.

I wonder if he is protecting me or protecting him, but either way I can't stand the sight. I turn away from them both and sprint back towards the Gryffindor Tower. My legs are burning as I reach the portrait and shout the password at it. I dash up the stairs and into the dormitory room.

James sits up in bed and stares at me with concern, but Peter is the one to speak. "Sirius, what happened?" he asks, throwing back his covers to get out of bed.

"I'll tell you what happened!" I yell. "I found out who he's been off with." I throw James' cloak onto the ground and stomp into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I turn the lock and lean my back against the door, then slide to the floor and hug my knees to my chest.

"Who was it?" Peter yells through the door.

My face breaks and tears pour over my cheeks, my hands desperately trying to wipe them away. "My brother!" I yell back, instantly regretting it. I hear shuffling sounds coming from the room and I cover my ears with my hands to stop from hearing them. "I hate emCharms/em," I whisper.

~ o ~ o ~ o ~

Now you understand. Now you see why I hate Charms.

I hate Charms.

I, Sirius Black, hate Charms.

I hate Charms more than I have ever hated anything in my life.

I hate Charms.

I hate Charms and I hate my brother.

I hate my brother and I hate Remus and I hate Charms.

If it wasn't for Charms, I wouldn't be sitting on the bathroom floor, crying over finding out that Remus, my Remus, the Remus that I have been best friends with for six years, has been sneaking around with my brother.

Yes, my Remus. Mine. How dare that sneaking little snake put his hands on my Remus? He's lucky he only got a broken nose.

I can hear him now. Remus, that is. He's knocking on the door.

"Sirius, please let me in!" Remus yells, his fists banging desperately against the door.

I fold my arms over my chest and huff. "Go away!" I scream. I wait a moment, then get up and unlock the door. I step away as it opens and stare at Remus with narrowed eyes as he steps into the bathroom and closes the door behind him.

"I don't know what to say to you right now, Sirius." Remus throws his hands up, an exasperated look on his face. He takes a step towards me, but seems to rethink it and backs away again. "Are you looking for an apology?"

"That would be a start," I hiss.

"Fine. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I lied to you guys and I'm sorry for hiding it so long and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you right away. I wanted to...sort of, but to be honest, I was bloody terrified of what you say when you found out." Remus rubs his hands over his face and gives me the most painful smile I have ever seen.

"And," I prompt.

"And?" he asks.

"And you're sorry that you've been out snogging my brother!" I yell, angry that he didn't start with that apology to begin with.

Remus looks taken aback and shakes his head. "Sirius, I'm not going to apologize for who I choose to b-"

"You bloody damn well better!" I shout, crossing the bathroom and shoving Remus hard against the wall. I gasp. Of course I know that I shouldn't have done that! "I'm sorry," I whisper, stepping back away from him.

"Sirius, I can't help being g-"

"What? No! Remus that's not what I said," I interrupt, staring up at him with shock. "How can you think I meant...that? I want you to apologize for going around with my damn brother!" I yell, the anger building inside of me again.

"I don't understand," he whispers.

"You had better start to understand, Remus Lupin!"

"I don't understand!" Remus yells back. He lifts his hands to his hair and tugs at it gently, his face broken and confused.

I open my mouth to explain, but I can't think of a single word that would do the job. I sigh. "Let me explain it to you," I whisper. I step forward and grab his face between my hands, then push my lips against his, eagerly taking what I've waited three years for him to offer.

A note from the Author: Alright, so this isn't my first time with 'First Person POV' but this is my first attempt at both 'Present Tense' and 'Journal Style Known Author' style of writing. If you loved it, hated it, or were just left going "WTF?" then let me know. Thank you for reading. -Jenna