Disclaimer: I don't any mentioned series in this, nor do I own the characters.

Warnings: Implied LxLight, Misa stupidity, Ryuk meanness,

AN: I don't even like Misa, but this came to me randomly & she seemed to be the only fitting character. :)
& Chateau Mouton Rothschild 1982 is the ninth most expensive wine in the world ~ I checked XD

Ugly

::

Dedicating your life completely to someone else was fine in the eyes of Misa Amane. In fact, it seemed only right after what Kira had done for her. (After a while, she began to believe that Kira had killed her parent's murderer specifically for her, and not just as the random coincidence it actually was.) The only problem with it, was that whenever her precious Light-kun wasn't around, there was absolutely nothing to do.

Misa had tried cooking, and had nearly burned their first apartment to the ground. With Light spending so much time at work, she was able to clean it all up without him ever being notified. After all, he'd specifically told her that the only electrical kitchen appliances she was allowed to use were the refrigerator, the microwave, and the toaster. The last thing she wanted to do was get demoted down to toaster use only - he'd done it before, and living off of bread wasn't exactly good for her career.

Misa had made an attempt at blogging, but the people were really, really mean. They told her that devoting her life to a man was a stupid idea, and how she was an insult to all women, and blahblahblah. Reading all of their angry comments got boring, so she gave up on that as well.

Finally, with nothing left to do with her life, Misa turned to the only thing she knew that she couldn't fail at. Fangirling.

Misa made it her business to know everything about the characters she chose as victims. She squealed every time Sesshomaru spoke on Inuyasha. She cried every time Gaara got a scratch on Naruto. She just about died inside whenever Zero did his 'I-hate-vampires' thing on Vampire Knight. For a while, that kept her entertained. She wrapped herself up completely in as many fantasy worlds as possible - just as long as there was a popular character to fantasize about. They could never replace her Light-kun, but at least they did something.

And one day, a thought occurred to her. The blond had been watching a filler episode of Bleach, screaming just about every single time Toshiro Hitsugaya got hurt. (Considering the fact that this was Hitsugaya, Misa was screaming a lot.) She stared from the flickering television screen to the large shinigami nearly swallowing apples whole in his corner of the living room. Blinking, she looked back again, a slight frown crossing her face. After a little while, Misa looked over at said shinigami, and asked as politely as she could:

"Ryuk, why are you so ugly?"

Ryuk paused mid chew, and gave the girl a glare that could melt stone. "In the Shinigami Realm, I'll have you know I'm bringing sexy bac-"

"But look!" Misa shook her head, pointing at the screen. "The shinigami in Bleach are human-looking! And you...you're blue!" She was too busy comparing the two to notice Ryuk's offended sniff, or to hear him clarify that he wasn't blue, he was teal. Not that it would have made a difference either way.

"I'm not ugly," Ryuk said spitefully. "You are!"

Even Misa had to laugh at that one. "How is Misa-Misa-chan ugly? She's a model!" Misa's voice was overflowing with triumphant cheer.

"Yeah but, when Raito was with me, he always came home. It's only when you showed up that he never comes back." The teal shinigami smirked when Misa's round face went red. "And where is Raito now? With L."

"Shut up!" The blond snapped, her face now the exact color of a fire hydrant. "Light-kun's working! If he could stay home, he would!"

Ryuk grinned wider, taking a huge bite out of another apple. "Okay then, we'll see. If you can keep Light home for twenty-four hours, then you win, and I'm ugly."

"Deal!" Misa stood up, knocking over the bowl of popcorn she'd been eating. She stormed across the living room, heading towards her own room. She paused for a moment, and turned around. "Ugly!" She added, pouting angrily. As the door to her room slammed, Ryuk laughed and shook his head. This was going to be interesting.

::

About three days later, Light finally came home.

Misa was more than prepared. She went out and bought the most expensive wine she could find, the best designer dress, music, candles, the whole nine yards. As her fiance walked around the house, putting his dirty clothes to wash and finishing up general household tasks he didn't trust her to do, Misa sat on the couch, waiting for him to acknowledge her. Finally, after finishing a whole load of laundry, he paused and turned around, looking a little bit lost, as if he'd forgotten that he had a fiance.

As hard as that must be to believe.

"Oh, Misa."

Misa smiled to herself, score! She picked up the wineglass that she had picked up for him and held it out, waiting for him to take it before reaching for the bottle. "Light-kun, you have today off from work don't you?" She batted her eyelashes, shifting so that a bit of leg was flashed. Her fiance never blinked.

"There is no time for days off when the New World is approaching," Light said stoically, reaching into his back pocket and dropping a stack of papers in front of the stunned model. Misa held back an exasperated sigh - he had that look in his eyes, the one he always got whenever his New World was 'approaching'. When he wore that crooked smirk, sure that victory would be his. (And, sometimes only a week later, he'd come back furious, knocking things over and cursing loudly.) "Fifty criminals a day."

Misa all but dropped her glass on the table, staring at the papers in annoyance. Homework? She could already hear Ryuk's laughter.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Misa called at the back of Light's head. He was already picking up his work bag and slipping on his shoes. "Light!" She practically squeaked.

The door closed behind him.

Frowning, Misa sat back on the couch, folding her arms like a stubborn child. Her eyes fell on the coffee table.

"Where'd the wine go?"

::

"Light-kun," the large-eyed detective sat in his swivel chair, watching his number one suspect like a hawk. "What is that?"

"Chateau Mouton Rothschild, 1982" Light said casually, not looking up at L once. He simply went about, pulling out two crystal wineglasses from inside his bag.

"..." L was silent for a moment. "And why does it smell like strawberries in here?"

"Don't you like strawberries? It's Glade Plug-Ins."

"Why are the lights so dim?"

"You don't need them, it's your day off."

"...I see."

Matsuda perked up when he saw Light pour the wine. "Can I have some?" He asked, his eyes shining.

"No."

::

Five days later, when Light returned home to pick up clean laundry again, Misa was completely engrossed in an episode of Ouran Host Club. She wore a green name tag that read "HELLO, MY NAME IS: Ugly!"

He decided not to ask.