I haven't updated this in ages. Sorry. I have no excuse. Mentioned in the other story relatives dying, a few personal problems, moving and depression took its toll on me. My beta moved on as well.

Despite all of this I managed to find my old chapter in one of my backups and now I'm redoing chapters as well as posting new chapters. This is a long time coming and I apologize to any fans who kept wondering where the hell I've gone.

If this is taken off I'll reupload it on AO3. So far it hasn't.

Chapter is beta and cleaned up by me. I don't own Hetalia obviously.

Warnings: High nations, role playing, sex, silly.

So far the pairings are: RusAme, SwissJap. Prussia/Austria or PruCan might be in the future along with FraCan or FrUK. Or China/UK. Honestly it's up to you guys if you want to see any of those (or are still interested in the first place.)

'Finally. Time to go home.' Ivan let out an exhausted huff of air as he put away his documents; back to normal without bear ears.

The rest of the meeting resumed in its scheduled fashion if you didn't count the gabbling between nations and the ominous idea that Belarus might come back despite being temporary banned. China refused to cancel it; just wanting it to be over and done with.

Hoisting his bag and folder, Russia tried to seek out his lover, oddly quiet for the rest of the event.

He found America munching down on brownies while France talked with China. Blue eyes noticed him and he waved him over. Ivan hid a smile in his scarf, his heart fluttering.

"Hez Ivan. You want some?"

He raised a pale eyebrow but accepted the baked good from America's mess fingers.

To his surprise the brownie is quite tasty. The chocolate melting the minute it hit his tongue, the flavours pronounced but not too rich, and sugary but not too sugary. "Mmm." The Russian gave a moan and suddenly craved more.

"Good right?" America is all grins as he chewed on another square; talking with his mouth full. "Francis makes really good cakes and desserts obviously. Too bad England isn't the same." They both shivered at the idea of England anywhere near the kitchen.

"Da." Russia sat down on the floor next to the blond and the both of them ate a good deal of the batch before finally getting themselves together to leave. "Come. I will treat you to some Стардог!s." 'Strange. I desire hot dogs and burgers. A lot of them.' Russia found it odd but didn't dwell on it.

"Really?" At this the younger nation prepped up; Nantucket showing excitement as well. He hasn't ate any of those Russian dogs in ages. He decides to nab a few more squares in his pocket before the both of them left.

"Gilbert."

Prussia winced and almost jumped in surprise. The fear of Belarus lingering in the room. He coughed when he noticed his blond friend approaching him, giving out a haughty smirk to cover up his scare. "Hey Francis! Where is England?"

France shrugged. "Somewhere. I wanted to ask you have you seen him?" He inclined his head towards Antonio as he came over, completing the trio. "He's probably hiding from me again." France peered down to notice most of his brownies missing from the basket near his coat. "Or maybe he ate some of my baked goods."

Prussia snickered but paused at the next words. "Or it could be America and Canada. Those two always sneak and eat my desserts before I can deliver them properly."

"What?" France didn't notice the albino's look of horror and continued.

"I normally bring snacks for the boys and England since he likes to complain like the mother hen no?" He gives an exaggerated sigh and shakes his head. The Brit denied liking anything French, but would always expect cakes or cookies from the other nation during long meetings. "Though knowing Alfred, he probably took them to share with his new lover."

"Oh shit." The two finally noticed the white haired nation biting his lip and holding back trembles.

"Gilbert what did you do?" Spain went straight to the point, knowing his friend.

"N...Nothing! ...just thought that you and England would enjoy some pot brownies." At France's look he peered down and mumbled an apology. Not awesome!

"How much did you put in them?" Spain went pale. It took a lot to get a nation high.

"About 2 kilos."

"Dammit Gilbert! What happens if Russia ate those brownies too?" France face palmed himself and considered the odds of catching those two nations before they did something stupid or worse, end up bringing about national embarrassment.

"Oh why can't I hold all these bags?!"

America snorted out as he faked failing to hold several full paper and cloth tote bags. Russia leaned against the smaller nation, both of them laughing hysterically at the joke. Going shopping earlier for food and drinks, the two nations went back to Russia's house, in a fit of giggles near the entry way.

"I have no idea!" This earned another bout of hysterical chuckles. For some reason the cold nation felt mellow, silly, and horny. It hit him gradually during the trip back to Moscow and became worse when they finally reached Mcdonald's. Everything seemed so cool in this icy hell! Like the snowflakes so sparkly and wild and maybe General Winter isn't so bad-

'Yeah right! Old bastard.' Russia snickered into his scarf as America jutted out his lips, trying to wave one of his hands back and forth holding the bags.

"Man. Like man! I'm so glad we went to Stardog!s and Mcdonalds." The sunny blond sighed and smelled one of the bags in question as he kicked off his shoes. He eeped as he felt something large press against him. Russia growled and America laughed at the big nation tickling his clothed sides.

"Dude! I want to totally eat ya'll know? We can play later." He gave a half hearted struggle away from his large lover. They managed to go further in but being high ruined their coordination, resulting in falling over the arm of the sofa. The bags spilled all over the place but lucky the items remained inside although rustled.

The two of them just laid there on top of one another before busting out in another round of giggling.

"Vanya past the vodka will ya?"

Russia giggled. He sat up and glanced around wildly but managed to find the drinks and sausages in a bag near the bottom of the couch on the floor. The two of them sat down and drank straight out of the bottles, munching on food and laughing at nothing and everything.

America went into random tales he heard from other nations and experienced with Russia comparing and telling his own. They tittered like a bunch of school girls over one particular one.

"I never thought Francis would ever dress up his ol' wang with a top hat and call it England. I thinks Ima gonna have nightmares for a good while. How about ya'lls?" America paused at Russia's pointing and laughing. "What?"

"Your accent is horrible!"

"Hey! Ya'lls evens worse than mine! Ya barely talking English anymore!" At America's glare, Russia whimpered. He blinked once, the twice, before breaking out in a full out cry.

"I...I...I'm working on it! Stop making fun of me like the others!"

The blond cocked his head at the taller nation's uncharacteristic bawling. He patted his back awkwardly. "Theres theres. I didn't mean it. Ya'll still a sexy coon bear to me, accent or not."

"Really?"

"Really. Your always the bees knees to me."

There was a few moments of silence before the two broke out laughing again. American grunted when paled haired nation tackled him to the couch. "What in biscuit's name..."

Russia had that look in his eyes and America rose to the occasion. The nation planning something kinky or weird again.

"I want to try something."

"What?"

Russia reached into one of the bags and pulled out a spare sausage. He pulled out a bottle of lube as well as some mustard packages.

"Oh not that shit again! Didn't I tell ya'll that its wasn't a good idea to use ketchup last time?"

"Da. But this isn't going to be used for lube Fedya." The blond squinted blue bloodshot eyes as Russia pulled down his zipper and unsnapped his pants with his teeth, nudging his half hard member out of his boxers.

America groaned and wiggled his toes at the sensation of something slimy and cold dripping down his cock. 'Why is he putting mustard on me dick?' Before he could voice his opinion he felt a hot mouth surrounding his member.

"Bloody hell and a skunk!" He never got tired of feeling the Russian on his body. His mouth hot against the cold of his body, the contrast sending mix signals and pleasure across his skin. 'Ah that's good.' The blond shivered, feeling two large fingers prepare him before something else suddenly slid inside him without warning.

"Ah!" America frowned. He peered down to see the sight of a sausage in his ass. "Vanya this feels weird ya?" The sausage isn't very firm but it not really uncomfortable either. He grumbled as his lover pulled it in and out of his body as he slurped down his member.

'This is weird as all hells but man Hnnnng...do I enjoy the view.' "You lookin' good submissive theres with that big ol' nose of ya running up the underside of my dick touching the veins."

Russia paused and opened his mouth with a pop. He stared at America for five seconds before busting out laughing.

"What?"

"It's just that your fetish is very odd but like you America."

The blond wiggled his eyebrows. "Nothing wrong with a lil' dirty talk Ivan, especially if it's from ya manipulative dirty mouth." America tried to push the Russian back on his cock but he shook his head.

"No I have another idea." Ignoring America's whine he laughed again. "You may like this one better."

America sat in Russia's room, bouncing up and down on his bottom against the bed. 'Shit I'm bored. What is the big guy doing?' He really wanted to eat more of those pot brownies. Or chips. Or anything for that matter.

Even a plastic bottle seemed good right now.

"Ivan hurry up will ya?!"

Russia jumped out of the bathroom with a yell. "HA! The hero is here~!"

"The hell." America's brain broke at seeing his lover wearing his clothing. He donned everything, from his bomber jacket down to his black boots. The only thing missing is Texas, which Russia pulled off of the blond's nose while he is stupefied.

Ivan grinned and put the glasses on his face, doing a peace sign with his tongue sticking out and winking with one eye. It was harder to produce Nantucket but not impossible; using Siberia after all. "Ready to have fun now?!"

America stood there like a gasping fish. Russia even had his voice pitch down barely containing a slight accent behind it. Ivan cocked his head at the blond's trembles. 'Is he angry?'

"...THAT'S FREAKING AWESOME!" The blond whooped and hollered. America rifled through Russia's clothing, pulling out one of the man's spare coat with a grin. He messed up his hair and pulled on the beige coat, along with some spare pants and a few other things.

Russia paused and squinted slightly blood-shot eyes before putting up both thumbs. "There you go! Now you look like a good Russki!" It was hard to contain his tick but he managed high.

"Да!" The blond saluts and laughed. Russia's coat is a tad too big and the pants are the wrong size but he makes it work like magic with the wonder of a belt. He manages to get Russia's scarf from the bed and put that on too, looking like a good epoxy. "Are you ready to get on your knees, America?" Alfred fails laughing at calling the other man himself.

"No the question is, are you ready to be brought down you stupid Russian!" Alfred isn't prepared when the other nation tackles him and pins him to the floor with a smirk. "Justice wins again!"

Before 'America' could respond he is covered with a kiss, both of their teeth clacking together. He attempts to talk through it but Ivan on top is already licking around his lips, demanding entrance. The blond groaned and comply, trying to wrap his tongue around the other nation and claim dominance, the kiss uneven and sloppy.

The sparks of passion ignite regardless and Alfred feels tingly and giddy all over even outside of his high. He pulled back slightly with a huff. "Even with kissing you are greedy pig."

Ivan wanted to snort at how the other nation had him down pat. A part of him is turned on by the way the American used his accent. Instead he pulls off one of his borrowed black gloves and leaned back down to lick the blond under his scarf. His fingers occupy themselves by unfastening his own borrowed coat.

"Ah...no...comeback Да? You disappoint me."

"No because I don't give into the villain! I won't let you deter me from my goal!"

Alfred hissed at teeth nipping against his skin to be soothed by a hot tongue. 'Fuck. He's going to give me marks.' The blond didn't care one bit. Ivan left no patch unmarked on his trail, leaving behind different dark shades of hickeys all around Alfred's neck.

The nation on top of him smirked before leaning down to put his mouth over a cold nipple, drawing it in with his teeth and warming it up.

"Ah!" America groaned at the contrast of temperature when Ivan's cool fingers ghosted around his nipples. The blond hissed, the nubs slowly becoming erect and hard under the ashen man's ministrations. He wiggled as the action caused a warmth to pool directly to his cock. "Damn you!"

The other nation only chuckled, giving Alfred a haughty smirk before putting his mouth over the cool nipple. He had to use his hands to hold down Alfred from buckling up. "Ready to give up now?" Ivan pull off and back; hovering near the blond's chest with a grin. Alfred glared at him but those purple eyes made him mentally shiver.

"HET!"

"Oh well then~!" In a sing song voice Ivan went back down. Running his fingers down the man's washboard stomach, before lapping up the trail with his tongue. It was stimulating and tingling, sending mixed signals to the American's body and lighting his senses on fire.

He could already feel his pants becoming too tight when Russia played with the waist band, chuckling. Alfred mumbled something. Ivan glanced up and wiggled his eyebrows back at him.

"What's up? I can't speak Red so you have to voice your opinion in good ol' English."

America growled. "я хочу тебя трахать!" (I want to fuck you!)

Russia blinked, off guard at what the blond said in Russian. He quickly goes back into character, tugging America's pant's down and pulling them off. Thankful he wore no underwear, making the next part easier.

The blond grunted as he finally found some relief, his member being exposed to the cool air of Russia's room. He wasn't prepared when his lover parted from him to hoist him up from the floor; settling him on his lap. "Hey!" Alfred groaned as he felt two fingers suddenly penetrate his ass. "Nnnnngh...I wanted to be on top..."

"You are! Like you're totally on top right now!" Ivan laughed at his butchered English and sucked on his free hand again, gathering as much spit as he can, before inserting another finger, stretching and spreading out his entrance.

"Whoa I wish you can see how wide your hole is right now-" He giggled.

"Shut up you pig!" America growled but whined as he felt cold hands jerk his manhood.

"Geez you need to relax~" Ivan pouted behind glasses. Alfred only mumbled out what suspiciously sounded like a Russian curse. Ivan ignored it, almost grinning when Alfred tugged open his pants and pulled out his big cock.

Smacking Ivan's hand away, Alfred lined up and suddenly sat down; pushed a good amount of the member up his ass.

"You...shouldn't done that. Did you not learn from last time you suddenly impaled yourself?" The cold nation pressed his lips together to resist pushing up.

"I just want this over with!" The blond grunted as he attempted to adjust himself and ignored the slight pain. "Since you will not let me enter you, you xуесос (cocksucker) I have to do the work myself." Alfred settled down when he could feel his lover's pubic hairs tickling against his butt cheeks.

He worked slowly, hands bracing themselves on Ivan's hips. Alfred slid up until the tip barely pressed against the rim before using gravity to slowly push down to the base. He sought to find a right angle since the ashen nation gave him free reign, only picking up the pace once the ache vanished and he had more control.

It's strange having sex while high. All of his senses are more heighten. Every bump of Ivan's cock against his inner walls sends sparks down his skin, causing him to brush out in goosebumps outside of the cold. Nantucket is twitching even without being touched.

Alfred wanted to toss his head back and groan when Ivan started to move with him, timing his thrusts so that he brushes against that bundle of nerves inside of him. 'Shit it is even more intense.' He hissed when the nation flicked his cold hands over his erect nipples again, both gloves gone now. Even with the friction and heat generating from their movements, the man is cold. 'Fucking General Winter. Fucking snow.' "Damn your touches always being cold."

"You enjoy it though." Ivan's voice spoke in a whimsical tone and Alfred wanted to laugh at it. Instead he moved his arms to hold onto his lover's neck, bouncing up and down and practically grinding his neglected erection against the pilot uniform that Ivan wore.

Alfred cursed when the cold nation gripped his ass for leverage. He opened his mouth until an insistent noise rang through the large house. Over his hazy mind Alfred identified it.

"...Is that the bell?" Alfred shakes his head. 'Fuck it.' He tugs Russia close and rests his head on top of his. "Ignore it. It is probably nothing."

"What if it's-"

The blond squeezed Ivan's cock inside of his anal walls, hard. "Ignore it."

"O...kay~" Ivan shrugged and focused more on pleasing his lover. He used one hand to reach between him, hearing the blond grunt when his cold fingers started to jerk him off. The rubbing made them warm quickly and America found himself closing his eyes and coming all over the suit jacket.

The blond let out a satisfied moan. 'Shit. It is like I can come forever.' His eyelids twitch but he manages to speak. "It always feels good when you come and fill up my ass. It's so warm..."

Ivan attempts to get his breath back but his voice is full of wonder. "..O...oh?"

"It feels like you're touching my insides. Better than your cold ass hands."

Ivan laughs at that, a happy sound, as the two cuddle close to one another. He hums and gives out a sigh when Alfred nuzzle against his neck, placing light kisses. They settled down, about to whisper more pleasantries until a crash rang from downstairs.

Belarus sighed at the broken down door. She wanted to talk to her brother about what happened. 'I acted irrationally and scared off Vanya but we should discuss our relationship and future marriage over tea.'

If that stupid American pig is here, well there are ways to have "accidents" right?

"Brother are you home?" She called in the doorway. The place is pitch black but she could make out random items on the floor. "Brother?" Belarus yelled in the doorway again until she heard thundering footsteps. Then suddenly her brother appeared...or whom she thought is her brother.

Her older sibling stands before her dressed up like America. "Ah hello Belarus!" He gives her a thumbs up. "It's good to see you again! I hope you brought some scary movies this time."

"Brother?"

"Ah...he's ummm.." Ivan bites his bottom lip but recovers back into his jolly ambiance. "...He's not here! It's only me the hero~" At the end Ivan did another thumbs up, with flashing teeth, eagles, and the American as well as the Russian flags in the background.

Belarus blinked at that, then turned around and walked back out the door. She had her hands around her head, face in total confusion. 'I need to lie down.' Tomorrow is another day.

"Is...Is she gone?"

Ivan nodded his head as Alfred appeared behind him, shaking.

"Yes the evil woman is gone!"

Alfred gave out a breath. "Good." He grimaces at the door. "Let us fix that and figure out what to do next Да?"

Francis grunted as he walked through snow down the path from Russia's house. It resulted in a pointless endeavour; coming to find the door broken off and held together by gorilla tape.

"You owe me for this Gil." He growled over the phone near his ear. The three branched off to cover more ground but so far gathered nothing.

"Hey I said I was sorry! I know it wasn't awesome, don't rub it in!" Prussia grumbled out on his android phone that had a strap of Hungary. He searched in another part of Russia near Red Square. Honestly he hoped he didn't run into the nation first. Prussia seen the man drunk and hated to see how he acted high off weed.

Spain whistled to himself as he skipped around the backways of the country. He paused as two familiar figures appeared in his vision. Flipping open his phone, he rang the other two and put it on threeway. "Guys I think I found them."

"Where?" France said in exasperation.

"Well..." Antonio cocked his head to the right as he gathered his bearings. "I think Rusia and América are near the border towards St. Petersburg." He wondered how did they get this far? Why did their officials let them get this far?

Spain shrugged and waved them down. "América! Rusia!" He is confused when he sees 'Russia' turning around first and give him a beaming grin. Running towards him, Spain isn't prepared to have an armful of a large Slavic nation picking him up effortlessly.

Spain grunts at the snapping and crackling of bones. "Spain! How ya doing? You want to go eat a burger with me? We can get one with extra extra tomatoes!"

"Huh what?" He's confused at the shift in personality. 'America' joins them soon after. Eyes closed and smiling with an intimidating aura. 'What the hell is going on?' "Ummmmm...who are you?'

"I'm America silly!" Russia pouts and makes a noise. "And that over there is Russia!" He points over to America, who starts to glare at him, blue eyes in warning.

'Oh geez.'

France sighed as he watched 'America' eat the burgers in front of him.

The three along with the high nations go to a Russian style burger and dinner place, with 'Russia,' saying how he refuse to eat at Mcdonalds again. That almost made the trio fall over in shock.

America hating Mcdonalds is like WWIII happening.

It took a minute but the three nations figured out that the the two switched roles. Into it one hundred percent. America in front of them eating burgers at an alarming rate with sauce on his face, while Russia consumed them slower but with just a big enough pile as well.

The people stared and whispered in Russian at the far end table with nothing but food on almost all of the corners disappearing at an alarming rate.

Prussia tried to steal a burger from Alfred's plate but the blond pulled out a pipe and hit his shin with it. 'Where the fuck did he get a pipe from?' The albino wanted to cry and glare but the Kolkolkolkol that the sunny blond man gave him was so dead on realistic that he decided not push it.

"Ifmp youfs want-"

"America." France was getting used to calling Ivan the other nation.

"OH! -glup- If you guys want food you have to order it yourself! This is only for me and the big guy~" Ivan gave a thumbs up and it took all of Prussia and Spain's willpower to not fall over laughing.

"Oui that's not fair." France wanted to see how far this would go. "Alfred you know you are suppose to share with Papa Francis."

Ivan paused, holding his burger near his mouth, his purple eyes frowning behind glasses. "No. if that's the case then I wouldn't had been a virgin this long."

Prussia bit his cheek and France flushed red. Alfred continued to eat as if the conversation had nothing to do with him.

"Fedya." Ivan paused at his borrowed name. "Maybe you should get a salad."

There was silence and Spain held his sides.

"I'll get one if I share it with you."

"Are you trying to imply that I'm fat?"

"Are you?"

Blue met purple and France paled; even though they switched roles they still acted like rivals. The three didn't know what would happen if the high, unrestricted nations would duke it out. "Non! Non! America only wanted to share a salad with you out of love! AMOUR!"

Ivan and Alfred turned and France gulped; the two stared at him before turning back to each other.

"Sorry Vanya."

"Sorry Fedya."

The trio blew out air as the situation resolved itself. The two nations being back to their normal, teasing selves. Ivan waved down the poor host and ordered a salad as well as some wine.

The other nations decided to get some food as well and all five men laughing and acting casually. Outside of some initial confusion, it is easy to get into the role that America and Russia put themselves in.

France found it most interesting. 'Seeing Russia like this makes me wonder.' The light haired nation laughed and joked with Spain and an irritated Prussia. Most know of Russia's cruelty, with France having a hands on experience, but most of the nations chose to ignore Russia's background. How they fought and picked on him for ages, beating him up as a youth. Even Gilbert shrugged it off, saying that 'the big bastard deserved it.'

France found it poetic justice that many of the nations that treated him badly suffered for it now. 'I prefer this Russia than the one we know of, even if it is an act.' Months ago France would never image seeing Russia act like America and being silly. The intimidating snowman looked downright happy. 'I guess little America is doing something right.'

The dead eyes during the early nineteenth century, the terror later on. France shook his head and is grateful when Spain 'accidentally' rubs his leg against Ivan's calf leg around dessert. The reaction startled the other nation. He jumped and promptly punched Spain in the nose, making him fall out of his seat.

"Oh sorry! Reflex, reflex!" Ivan jumped from his seat 'heroically' and bent down to check up on Spain, fork from the custard wiggling around his mouth. France and Prussia couldn't help but burst out laughing. "I keep telling you to stop molesting me on the sly Ant!"

'Yes much better.' France wiped a tear from his eye until a kolkolkolkol chant started. All of them slowly turned around to see Alfred with a pipe out.

"You are touching what is mine yes?" The nation hit it back and forth between his hands. Blue eyes glowing along with a purple, red, and white hue surrounding him.

'Shit.' Spain and the other two release the error. America is role playing Russia right now and Russia is possessive of his 'things.' The people barely had time to vacate the building when war broke out.