Hi! I'm back! I'm not gonna lie and say forever as, well... life just seems to keep getting in the way but the way I'm feeling I needed a bit of escapisim so back to Fan Fiction for me. I have updated this first chapter as it just wasnt long enough. Hope you all enjoy I will be writing the next chapter or two today so expect the updates either tonight or tommorow morning depending on how long they take me to do.

Thanks.

x

In another life...

Inspired by The Veronicas - In another life

He was the love of my life.

Wait.

He is the love of my life.

But here we were, clinging onto eachother like our lives depended on it. Tears threatening to fall from my eyes, my hands clawing at the back of his shirt, gripping onto him, confirming to me I didn't want to let go, not only let go of him but let go of our past, my dreams of our possible future. A future I knew, that at this moment in time, didn't stand a chance in hell of happening. So why was it so hard to break away from the fantasy?

Forcing myself to pull back I instantly regretted it. Jeff's arms fell limply to his sides while I crossed mine to stop myself from reaching out and grabbing him once again.

'Please don't go.' He whispered, breaking the silence.

'I have to Jeff.' I replied, looking to the ground.

'Why do you have to go?' He muttered, a pleading undertone.

'Because its too hard.'

'What's too hard?'

'This. Us. There being no us. There being a you and her. But no chance again of a you and me.'

'I'm sorry.'

'I know. Me too.'

'Why are you sorry?'

'Sorry for not being able to get over you.'

'Don't be sorry for that.'

'No I am sorry. Very sorry. Because if I was over you then I could stay.'

'But I'm not over you either.'

'And thats what makes this so hard, knowing that you love me but that at the same time you love her, your with her and you have been together too long to let that go, on a whim, for someone you dated years ago.'

'We didn't just date. It was more special than that.'

'Then leave her for me then.'

'What?'

'Go on, leave her for me. Lets be together.'

'You know I can't do that.'

'I know.'

'Then why did you ask?'

'I don't know. I just hoped...maybe...'

'I would say yes?'

'Yes.'

'Sorry.'

'You said that already.'

'I know.'

I looked up at him. Try to memorise every little detail on his beautiful face. His piercing green eyes. The definition of his jaw, his multi coloured hair secured back with a headband, those kissable lips, the maintained but crazy beard. My eyes kept getting drawn back to his. I can remember them being the first thing I noticed about him when I met him. I may have been very young but still, those eyes...

Of course there was nothing sexual in it at the time. I used to be ultra jealous growing up, wishing I had green eyes like his instead of my boring brown ones. Isn't it funny how jealousy can turn into lust? Love.

'Here.' I said pulling an envelope out of my pocket.

'Whats this?'

'Just read it after I have gone.'

Jeff took it from me and clasped it in his hands, staring at the front.

Jeffers.

Love always.

Vern-Vern.

x

He sighed and looked back up, stuffing the envelope in his back pocket.

'So this is really it? Nothing I can say or do will chage your mind?' He asked.

'The only thing you can do...you can't do so no there is nothing you can do.' I whispered.

'Come here.' Jeff pulled me into a tight embrace. He was gripping me so close it started to hurt but I didn't care. I tightened my cluth on him, burying my face in his chest.

'I love you Vern. Don't forget that.' He muttered into my ear. 'I'm sorry that it didn't work out differently.'

'Please don't remind me Jeff. I need to forget that you love me.' I started to sob, tears racking my body. It only made Jeff pull me in more.

'Don't cry Vern, please don't cry...' He trailed off and I could here in his voice that he had started to cry too. Not wanting to make him like this I pulled myself together as much as I could and straightened myself out.

'Bye house!' I said, looking at my home for the past year.

Looking back at Jeff, I saw that he had managed to stop crying, for now.

'Bye Jeffers.'

Jeff stayed silent for a moment and we both stood there, akwardly not knowing how to say goodbye.

Jeff leaned forward and pecked me on the lips, my heart fluttered in my chest. Could it? Could he?

'Bye Vern-Vern.'

Nope. He was just saying goodbye. My heart sunk again.

I took one last look at him and turned to walk to the waiting taxi.

Getting in I took one last look out of the window, he had pulled the envelope back out of his pocket and was looking at it once again.

'Where to?' The driver asked me.

'The airport please.' I said, no emotion in my voice.

'Going on holiday then?' The driver asked, obviously noting my suitcases from earlier,

'Something like that.' I muttered as we pulled away and I watched Jeff from the back window until I could see him no more.

Jeff watched the taxi pull away, Veronica staring out of the window at him. His heart felt like it was twisting, straining against his ribs. The taxi was almost out of sight now. He couldn't do it. He coudn't let her go. Running he headed up the driveway, his feet pounding against the ground, he pushed himself to his fullest ability, yet he was unable to catch up. Stopping he collapsed to the ground, trying to catch his breath and struggling to stop the tears flowing. He couldn't, he started crying, heavy sobs racking his body. He quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and speed dialled. Hey, you have reached the voicemail of Veronica. Can't answer the phone right now but leave a message and I will get back to you... He ended the call and dialled again, once again reaching her voicemail. He kept re dialling hoping to hear a ringing tone. Nothing. The last time he spoke...

'I love you. Please don't leave. I will leave Beth, we can be together, just please, please don't go.' He hoped she would hear the message before it was too late.

Dialling a different number he prayed they would answer and quick.

'Hey bro, whats up?' Matt answered, unaware of what had just happened.

'She has gone. Veronica has gone.' Jeff replied, tears forming again.

'What? Hang on a minute.' Jeff heard some movement and Matt came back on the phone. 'What did you say?'

'VERONICA HAS GONE MATT. FUCKED OFF. LEFT.' Jeff shouted getting angry now, why wasn't it getting through to Matt?

'Where?' Matt asked, panic in his voice.

'How am I meant to fucking know.' Jeff growled.

'Calm down Jeff. Where are you?' Matt asked.

'Veronica's.' Jeff replied.

'Is she still with you?' Matt enquired.

'Haven't you been listening to me Matt. She has gone! Fucking gone and its all my fault.' Jeff's head sunk lower as he admitted this to not only himself but Matt too.

'I'm on my way.' WIth that Matt hung up the phone.

Jeff threw his phone on the floor. Hastily picking it back up he dialled Veronica's number one more time.

'Where are you Vern?' He sighed with defeat. 'Please listen to my message. I mean every word, just come back home, everything will be fine. I promise. I love you.'

Sighing he laid back on the side of the dusty road. Remembering the letter, he pulled it out of his pocket and ripped open the envelope. Unfolding the piece of paper he held it above his head. Partially to block out the sun, but mostly to ensure his heart was only broken but shattered into a million pieces when he read the words.

Jeffers,

This is the hardest god damn thing I have ever had to write, but not as hard as it was to say goodbye to you. I'm sorry I can't switch off my feelings for you and I'm sorry I had to leave in the first place, if I didn't things might have been different... we might have even still been a couple. But thats all in the past. What I would give for a time machine huh? I'm sorry I came back, I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for that night, I'm sorry for everything I have put you through just because of my own stupid selfishness. Please forgive me. You and Beth have a great future ahead of you, a future filled with marriage and babies, lots of beautiful little Jeffers, wish I could stay around to see them but I have to go again and this time I'm not going to fuck you around again by coming back and messing it all up for you. I have learnt my lesson, it was too hard to even want to repeat it. Look after Matt, he can be an idiot and we all know he needs to be mothered! And look after Shannon and Jodie, make sure they stay together, they are just both too damn stubborn for their own good but they need eachother and they are good together, don't let them forget that. Look after Beth but also make sure she knows how brilliant her man is and that she should count herself lucky every morning when she wakes up to see the sun shining on your beautiful face. But most of all look after yourself Jeffers, never forget what a great guy you are, you don't need the drink or the drugs. Be sober and proud and be whoever you want to be, don't let anyone hold you back or tell you what you can and can't do. Your an amazing artist and you have so much talent in and out of the ring. Use it, abuse it and make a fuck load of money off of it! Don't let me down Jeffers, be the best you can be everyday. I love you.

Love

Veronica x

Jeff dropped his arm to his side and using his other arm to block the sun, started to cry.