WARNING: This story contains bad language and corporal punishment in some chapters. If this offends you, please discontinue your reading of this story.
A/N: So finally, the talk with Carlisle. I worked really hard on this chapter, so i really hope you all enjoy it!
"Lets talk."
I cleared my throat and gave him a short nod. I had no idea where to even begin. I looked down, scrutinizing fidgeting hands closely, before shifting slightly again. I winced and let out a grunt in response to the quick shot of pain that resulted. God DAMN. I thought to myself angrily. Keep still imbecile!
Carlisle's hand returned to my leg, this time on my thigh, stilling my nervous movements and internal rant.
"Son, Calm yourself. Why are you so nervous?" He asked soothingly, moving his other hand up to my chin, tilting my face up before running his finger softly down my cheek.
I swallowed. "I don't know…" I mumbled. "I guess I feel as though…. I'm… in a bad way with you or something."
Carlisle chuckled and squeezed my thigh gently before moving to take my hands in his.
"You are in no trouble Edward. I apologize if I've caused you feel that you are, I simply wanted you to be comfortable for this conversation. I suppose I have done the opposite." He chuckled again.
"No it's nothing you have done." I rushed out. "I suppose it's because our latest… discussion... was so recent, it has made me a bit more apprehensive."
Carlisle nodded in understanding, a small smile turning up the corners of his lips.
At least we know the lesson was learned as it should have been.
I gave a small huff at his silent comment. Carlisle smiled wider in response and ruffled my hair.
"Back to the matter at hand shall we?"
I nodded and forced my body to relax out of my stiff posture. Carlisle gave a small, satisfied nod.
"Edward," He began quietly. "I think you are just putting too much pressure on yourself. Surely there is a better way to handle this Jacob situation than to forbid Bella to see him."
I tensed a bit again at the mention of the mutt's name.
"It's dangerous Carlisle. You know as well as I do that control is not something easily kept with their kind, especially at such a young age. I simply cannot allow Bella to put herself in such troublesome and dangerous company!"
Carlisle shook his head and leaning a shoulder on the back of the sofa, crossed his arms over his chest.
"I understand your concern Edward, but trying to control Bella doesn't bode well for either of y–"
"I'm not controlling her, I am trying to protect her!" I cut him off, shooting him a glare.
He shook his head again. "She doesn't see it that way Edward, and you know it. She doesn't perceive her friend as a threat. What she sees is you being over-protective."
I shot off the couch in an angry huff and started to pace.
Carlisle said nothing at my agitated actions, but watched me silently from the sofa.
"She should know!" I fumed. Stopping my pacing, I raised my voice higher to make my point. "She's fragile. I only want to keep her safe! Can't she just understand that?"
Suddenly I felt a flash of calm waves hit me. I shook my head, reaching up to pinch the bridge of my nose. With a sigh, I welcomed the soothing waves my brother sent to me, as promised, trying to absorb as much as I could.
"Thank you." I whispered to Jasper. I needed to keep my head and I was thankful for his help in doing so.
Carlisle had not moved from his position on the couch, and continued to look at me thoughtfully, arms crossed.
"I'm sorry…" I apologized quietly. "This subject is… rather difficult for me."
Carlisle nodded. "Understood." He briefly moved his hand and gestured to the spot on the sofa I had vacated next to him, with a raised brow.
I made my way back over to the couch. Sitting gingerly, I turned my body to face my father.
"I want to help you with this Edward." Carlisle began after a moment. "But this is a two way street. You have to work with me. I'm not trying to point fingers or upset you, but rather make you see things rationally."
"I know. I'm sorry." I whispered, ducking my head down in my embarrassment.
"I know you are concerned about his control Edward." Carlisle spoke softly. "But is it not fair to say the same thing about our kind? It may not be an easy thing to master, control, but this family is proof… YOU in particular are a testament… that it can be done."
I sighed. "We've had centuries Carlisle…"
Yes. I understand that difference. He agreed silently. "But Bella was with him through the beginning of his changes. She was around him for a long time while we were… absent. That is a fact I feel shouldn't be taken lightly Edward. It speaks great volume."
I cringed at the reminder of the dark stain that will forever be in my memory. Carlisle gave me a sympathetic look.
I apologize for bringing up something so hurtful, but it needed to be said.
I nodded, staring absently at the numerous books lining the wall behind Carlisle.
"Edward."
"Hmm?" I responded, still off put by the crushing guilt the mention of my time away from Bella had brought.
"Look at me please." I sighed, closing my eyes for a brief second before opening them to meet my father's.
"What concerns me is the possibility that your attempts to stop her may cause Bella to become more determined to see Jacob… possibly without thinking of the consequences of what she does to do so."
I let out an angry huff. "I wont let that happen."
Carlisle sighed, reaching up a hand to rub his temple. "It's not that simple Edward. You are not with Bella all the time… you can't be with her all the time," He added pointedly. "Your hunts have become too sparse as it is. You are straining your thirst to your physical limits. This cannot continue. And having her stay here with the family in your absence, well it is always welcomed, cannot be forced."
In my mind I knew he was right, but I didn't want to accept it. Try as I might I could force no plausible argument to my lips, so I simply shook my head and looked at my father pleadingly.
"I understand this is hard for you Edward, in so many ways. Bella has become your world, and believe me when I say I can relate. Your mother, yourself and your siblings are mine. But sometimes, even though it is difficult, we must let those we love learn on their own."
"This is not some lesson to be learned Carlisle," I pleaded with him, begging him to understand. "This is her life!"
"Mmmm." He replied absently.
Always so dramatic.
He hadn't meant for me to catch his stray thought, but I had. I felt the anger begin to simmer again.
"I'm not being dramatic Carlisle!" I growled. "Do you not remember their pack leader's Emily? What his slip in control did to her?"
My father puffed out a breath. "Yes Edward, I do. I realize safety is an issue, but one way or the other, you know that she will see him–"
"She won't!" I snarled, cutting him off.
"The question is," He continued as if he hadn't been interrupted. "Will you work with her and create a system you are comfortable with? Or will you let her sneak out there, jump on the back of motorcycles, and continue to argue and put strain on your relationship? Is that what you want Edward?"
I growled, my lips starting to slightly curl over my teeth.
You watch yourself Edward. I will not tolerate you snarling at me. Am I making myself clear here?
My snarl quickly turned into an angry pout. Begrudgingly I nodded.
"Good. Now, I propose that you give in to her wish to see Jacob on occasion. Perhaps, if it will make you feel more secure, you could meet Jacob in some neutral territory, and try to work with Bella on timing her visits to times you will be hunting and able to put your mind on other things."
I bit my lip. It sounded reasonable.
"I know you are worried about her well being Edward. But whether you wish to accept it or not, the pack cares for Bella. They looked after her in our absence and they will work to keep her safe, even from each other. Further more, I cannot believe that all of this stems simply from concern for Bella's safety. Can you really sit there and tell me that jealousy may not be a factor?"
My shoulders slumped and I moved my eyes to stare at my lap. He knew me too well.
I thought so. He thought as he took in my defeated posture. Uncrossing his arms he placed one hand over my own and used the other to tilt my face to his.
"No one will fault you for this Edward. It's understandable. Jacob was there for Bella when you were not. She cares for him. It's difficult in new love, or any love for that matter, to not feel some sort of jealousy. But you are strong enough to overcome it, and not let it drive you. I know you are."
My eyes stung as I cleared my throat. "He thinks about her." I whispered, moving my face from his light grip to stare at the floor. "He thinks about her in that way. I have to listen, and watch his fantasies about her. Watch his daydreams of her leaving me for him. He taunts me with his thoughts, with a fucking smile on his face, and she doesn't even know… refuses to realize he's trying to tear us apart." Placing my elbows on my knees, I cradled my head in my hands. I suddenly felt so defeated.
Carlisle moved closer, pulling me up into a warm embrace.
"I know it's difficult Edward. But Bella loves you, very much. Never forget that. This change will help things. You'll be better fed, more in control of your emotions, Bella will be happier, you won't fight over this any longer. It will be healthier for both of you. And who knows, maybe when she has the option to see him whenever she chooses, she will chose to do so less and less, Hm?"
I nodded, and after another minute of the comforting hold, moved back from him.
"Thank you father. Thank you for taking the time to talk this through with me. And being so understanding to my… weaker moments."
Carlisle smiled warmly at me.
"As I had said before, you all are my world," He ran a hand through my hair lovingly, looking over my face. "I will do anything to bring you happiness. Things will get better with this my son… I promise you they will."
"Yes," I sighed. "You are always right."
He chuckled, and gave my shoulders an affectionate squeeze before standing from the sofa. He offered his hand to help me up.
I love you Edward.
"I love you too father." I murmured in response. He smiled again and gestured towards the door of his study.
As we descended the stairs towards the first floor where the rest of the family busied themselves with their normal evening activities, I thought over our conversation.
He was right of course. Bella would see Jacob, whether I liked it or not, one way or the other. But if I worked with her rather than against her, it would certainly help our relationship. At least I wouldn't have to worry how she made her way there. And even though I didn't want to admit it, the pack did care for Bella.
I sighed, resigned. At least we wouldn't fight so much.
Maybe being less stressed will keep me out of trouble… maybe.
A/N: Well there you have it my lovely readers! I hope you found it worth the wait! That Carlisle... he just always knows! I'd love to hear what you all thought of the conversation! :) I haven't decided yet if this is the end. It seems like a good conclusion... but we will see. Thanks again for reading!