"Ew, I think it got in my mouth..." I groaned, spitting out the foul red substance from my lips and onto the floor. "Next time, I suppose I ought to wear I surgeon's mask."

Of course, I wasn't really talking to anyone in particular. After all, there was no one around to talk to. It was only me and Reverend Meat, and to be honest, he's pretty annoying for a fat plastic burger boy.

I glanced over at the clock. "Only one thirty? Damn, the days seem to drag by slower and slower all the time..."

"You haven't been out in a while, Nny," Meat drawled from his perch on my dresser as I entered my bedroom. "Perhaps it's about time you went out to find a new plaything."

I curled my lip in a disgusted snarl at him. "I have so many downstairs that I haven't even begun to break. I don't need anything new right now."

"How about some dinner, then?" Meat asked. "You haven't eaten in days, either."

"Not hungry," I muttered.

"Thirsty much? You've gotta keep yourself hydrated."

"I've got a perfectly functional kitchen sink. If I want to drink something, I'll get some water."

"Well, maybe you should watch some television. Or see a movie. Or-"

"God DAMMIT will you shut up?" I snapped, annoyed by the sound of his voice. "I am so sick of hearing you trying to tempt me with pointless shit! Can't you be quiet?"

In light of my irritation, I kicked the dresser, hoping the force would send the little bastard flying on the floor. I hoped the impact would shatter him into a million pieces.

But no, he didn't move, as always. He didn't even flinch...Damn it.

I growled a curse under my breath and headed into the living room. The horrible truth was, though, that the burger boy was right. I was hungry, I was thirsty, and I really did need a new spin on my life. I was bored.

I flopped on the sofa and stared at the blank television screen. I wished to God that my mind could be like that screen-black and empty, with no function going on in it. Until it was turned back on, it would sit there quietly, its empty face staring into nothing, having no thoughts, no feelings, no desires. How I envied it. I wanted desperately to be like that, to be shut off. I wanted to be unfeeling, cold, thoughtless. Being anything otherwise was just miserable.

"There you go again," Meat's voice sighed from the bedroom, "Getting all depressed because you can't accept what you are. Denying it only makes it worse, Johnny. When you ignore something, you only call its attention to you more loudly. You can't change who or what you are. Why don't you just accept it and move on to something else?"

"Didn't I tell you to shut up? Damn, you're twice as annoying as any Doughboy ever was!" I snarled.

He didn't speak again after that. At least he knew his limits. Good for him, fucking piece of plastic shit.

I stormed into the kitchen again and flung open the fridge.

"Empty. What a surprise," I muttered, slamming the door so hard that the appliance rocked unsteadily in its place. "I'm going to get a Brain Freezy."

Not because Meat had mentioned doing so to me, but because I had nothing better to do. If anything, maybe getting out of the house would tone down my bad mood. I doubted it, but it couldn't hurt to try. What else did I have to do, after all? It's not like I had any real responsibilities to tend to, and on top of that, it was only after one in the morning.

It was going to be one of those long, treacherous nights, I could just tell. You know, the ones that seem to last forever while you're immersed in depressed misery and your mind dwells on the dark aspects of everything. One of those nights where you could just grab a gun and use it to shoot a bullet into your brains to give them a rest.

As I was walking past one of the neighbor's houses-the one where that kid named Squee lived-I heard the door creak open. I halted in my tracks, interested to see who could possibly be up and about at this hour. Usually, if Squee's parents were awake at this time, they stayed inside. What could be going on?

The door continued to swing open until I saw Squee himself peek outside.

"Mommy...? Daddy...?" he whimpered, looking frantically about. "Where are you guys...?"

Well, this was indeed something unusual. I knew his parents didn't exactly care about the poor kid, but they had never disappeared like this before and left him behind.

"Hey, Squeegee!" I called to him. "What's going on?"

His eyes widened at me, as if they weren't already gigantic to begin with. Squee had always been a little nervous around me since the first time we met. I'm not sure why. I had always tried to be nice to him. Maybe it had something to do with the way we first met. I'd broken into his house in search of some disinfectant because some bastard I'd killed had scraped me up pretty badly in his struggle for life. I guess that's not the grounds to go on for a good first impression...

"I can't find Mommy and Daddy," Squee said slowly, stepping back into the house. He started to close the door.

"Wait a minute!" I ran up to the porch and caught the door before it closed all the way. "I could help you look for them."

"Umm..."

"Great! Where have you looked already?" I asked, letting myself inside the house.

"Well...Everywhere but the basement...It's scary down there..."

I knew it was rude of me, but I just had to laugh when he said this. A basement? Scary? I was positive this house's basement was perfectly normal and not littered with corpses, as mine was. And he thought his basement was scary (Not that I'm scared of my own basement, but someone as jumpy as Squee would be)!

I headed for the stairs that lead to Squee's basement. I'd been in this house dozens of times when I came to talk to Squee, so I knew my way around pretty well. "Come on," I told the kid, "let's go find your parents."

Why he cared about those two fucks so much, I'll never know. They were mean to him, ignored him, didn't try to show him any affection...Hardly what comes to mind when you think about parents, but there you are. It was enough to almost make me feel sorry for the kid.

I led Squee into the basement, which was considerably smaller than my own, and we began looking around in every corner, behind every door (that only led to a wine cellar and what I think may have been an alien meth lab), and anywhere else you could hide a person (dead or alive).

Nothing.

I heaved a sigh, as I was finally catching on to what was happening. Those sons of bitches had finally done it. They had run off to God knows where and left their son behind.

Shit. Now where did this leave me? I was the one who had found him, so did that mean I had to watch him until they came back? ...If they ever came back...

"Oh, hell," I groaned.

"Johnny, I really don't think they're here..." Squee said sadly, approaching me from behind.

I slowly turned around to face him. "I don't think so, either, kid."

As I looked at those bulging eyes, which were just oozing innocence, I couldn't help but actually feel bad for the little squirt. He'd gone too long without someone to guide him, someone to teach him about the world. If I let him go, left him alone, he'd end up like every other fucked up deadbeat in the world. He needed someone to show him the proper ways to see things, to instill in him a sense of self awareness and that the world would rip him to shreds if he didn't know how to deal with it.

I just hated that that person would have to be me.

I sighed. "Come on, kid. Let's go get a Brain Freezy and wait for your parents to come home."

I think we both knew they wouldn't show up.