A/N: This story takes place directly after Episode 16 of the first season, "Nunnally Held Captive." Please either watch it again or read the Wikipedia summary before you read this fic.

Chapter 1: After the Storm

Suzaku Kururugi woke up in an empty church. For a few moments, his mind was blank, until the flood came. Memories rushed up at him like a tide, accusing him again and again. He looked down at his trembling hands and saw blood that was no longer there. Then, he looked up, and saw Lelouch Lamperouge staring at him.

Suzaku stood, transfixed, for a moment, his emerald green eyes wide and trembling. Then, he turned away from Lelouch, his shoulders shaking, as though he was crying. Wordlessly, he began to run.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch yelled, setting off after him. Their footsteps echoed in the silent church.

Mentally, Lelouch cursed Suzaku for being so fast. Despite his somewhat unusual after-school activities, Lelouch was about as fit as most other students. Suzaku, on the other hand, was a member of the army and had passed all the difficult physical tests required for that status. He knew he had no chance of catching up to Suzaku. So why was he still running?

The answer to that was simple, although it was an answer that Lelouch could rarely give: he cared about what happened to Suzaku. To Lelouch, people were chess pieces, useful, but not truly important. Suzaku, however, was different.

On the day he had received his Geass, Suzaku had demonstrated his willingness to die on Lelouch's behalf, if it was necessary, and only a few minutes ago, Suzaku had helped him to save Nunnally from Mao. Suzaku was a loyal friend and a good companion for Nunnally. Lelouch didn't trust anyone, but the person he came closest to trusting had to be Suzaku.

It always bothered him that Suzaku did so much for him, while he was rarely able to return the favor. Even when he had prevented Suzaku's execution, he had done so as Zero, and used the situation to his advantage. On the other hand, when Lelouch had been at gunpoint, Suzaku had been willing to throw away his military career and his life. He hadn't thought about the consequences, because he wanted to help Lelouch.

Well, it was time to stop thinking about chess for a while and, instead of planning constantly, do what was necessary when it was necessary. Suzaku was clearly upset, so Lelouch would try to help him, even if he had no idea what he could do, considering the difficulty he had dealing with people when he wasn't lying to them or trying to manipulate them.

He continued to follow Suzaku, taking no notice of the buildings or people around him. As Suzaku got farther and farther away, it took all Lelouch had just to keep him in his sight. His lungs were burning from lack of oxygen, and his feet hurt every time they touched the ground.

He knew he had to keep going, though. He'd never seen Suzaku like this, and he was worried about what might happen. The things Mao had said about Suzaku having a "death wish" echoed in his ears. He pushed himself further, willing Suzaku to slow down. Unfortunately, no eye contact meant no Geass, even if he was exhausted enough to think of using it just to get Suzaku to stop running.

Far ahead, Suzaku ran into a large building. Lelouch followed him in, without even knowing what building it was. They continued through a number of corridors, coming out into a large room. Suzaku crossed it effortlessly, and suddenly halted in a small alcove, which looked to Lelouch like a supply closet.

He turned around and saw Lelouch. Lelouch, still running, gave him a concerned look, but Suzaku's face had gone blank. Robotically, he pressed a button on the inside of the alcove, causing a pneumatic door to come out of the wall, and to begin to slide shut.

Lelouch increased his pace, gasping for breath as he ran. He wasn't going to let Suzaku pretend that he was fine anymore.

He realized that all of this time, when Suzaku had been talking with Lelouch, spending time with Nunnally, doing his student council duties, all of this time, the guilt over what he'd done must have been eating at him. Every time someone told him, "Your father was a great man," it must have felt like he was being stabbed. Lelouch now realized why Suzaku wanted a peaceful future for Japan. In a strange way, Genbu Kururugi had died for that cause, and if Suzaku allowed that death to have been in vain, he would have truly and absolutely been consumed by his guilt.

As he raced toward his friend, Lelouch wondered if, knowing all of this, he would still have made the choice to become Zero. He suspected that even so, he would have. Like Suzaku, he had things that he was unable to let go of.

He finally reached the door, just as it slid shut. Exhausted, he collapsed to his knees, and banged on the door with all of his strenghth.

"D-it, Suzaku!" he yelled.

A/N: This fic has been floating around in my head since I first saw Episode 16. Actually, I had thought that perhaps the show would actually head in this direction, but it never did. I was disappointed when Lelouch and Suzaku never even discussed the events of this episode. So, like any sensible person with a account, I wrote a new ending. Please look forward to some Suzaku and Lelouch hurt/comfort-type things, as well as appearances from some other characters. I'll do character interactions later in the story, when things get less emo. Thanks for reading and please R&R!