"Finn, could you move the camera a little?" Artie, in full director mode, leaned back to examine the new angle. "Perfect."

It'd been four days since New Directions had watched Mike's illegal porno, and they'd been caught in a flurry of activity ever since. They were determined, wholeheartedly, to find out if the moves they'd seen Chang execute were the real deal or simply fancy camera work.

Mr. Schue would've cried tears of joy if he had seen how well they'd cooperated on their project. (Or, more likely, once he'd been apprised of their goal, run screaming in the opposite direction.)

Rachel, being Rachel, had assumed a leadership role, coordinating the execution of the various steps of their plan. The plan itself was deceptively simple: have a member of the club seduce Mike Chang and film the deed. The exact details took slightly greater effort.

First, they had had to decide who would play the role of seducer. None of the boys, barring Kurt, had been interested in the position; unfortunately, all the girls (including, to Artie's annoyance, Tina, and to no one's surprise, Kurt) had been overly eager to play femme fatale. Rachel had solved the problem by having them draw straws. Quinn had ended up the winner. She'd giggled for the first time since it'd been revealed online she was sporting a full bush down below, and confessed, "I'm glad I can have sex without worrying about getting pregnant."

Puck had pulled Rachel aside and falteringly asked her if Quinn engaging in intercourse could somehow hurt his baby. Unable to keep from grinning, Rachel laughingly assured him mother and baby would be fine. He'd nodded and enthusiastically helped with preparations for the big event.

The second step was finding the right place for the sneaky hook-up. The choir room had too much open space; Quinn needed some kind of solid support. Matt and Finn spent two hours scouting locations after school and came to the consensus that the girls' locker room, with a long bench bisecting the aisle of lockers, would be the perfect spot.

The next step was setting up a strategically-placed camera, and sound equipment, which was what they were in the midst of doing. Rachel had decided that Mike's seduction would take place that day, after glee practice, so they were working overtime to get things ready.

Quinn was resting, preparing for her role as seducer. She looked particularly pretty in her floral maternity dress, a pink headband holding back her golden hair. For the briefest moment after she'd won the chance to seduce Mike, she'd wondered if she was the best choice, as heavily pregnant as she was. The next moment, she'd thought to herself, I'm still the hottest girl here. And why waste all that flexibility on some girl who doesn't need it? He'll have to get super-creative with me!

Kurt and Mercedes were wiping down every inch of the locker room in an effort to sanitize the area. Ever prudent, Rachel had noted that it would be unforgivable to have their teammates go at it in a space reserved for "if you think about it, sweating, primarily".

Santana, and to a lesser extent, Brittany, were scaring the living daylights out of the other Cheerios and the students unfortunate enough to be having PE that day, making clear in no uncertain terms that the locker room was absolutely off-limits. "If you even think about coming in here, I will tear out your fingernails," Santana threatened.

"Fingernails," parroted Brittany. "Ouch."

Tina, Matt, and Finn were busy bouncing around following Artie's instructions, as all things audiovisual had been left to him. "Finn, your thumb smudged the lens. No, Matt, that light is too visible. Put it farther back," Artie said tightly. "The microphone can't be there, Tina, it'll create feedback."

Rachel, arms folded over her purple sweater set, was overseeing the entire operation with an approving eye. Then, she noticed there was someone missing. "Where's Noah?"

Finn answered, "Doing what only Puck can do." He exchanged a knowing grin with Matt.

Befuddled, Rachel was about to ask him to explain, when Puck bounded into the locker room. He winked at Quinn. "Got him all primed for you."

"What have you done, Noah?" asked Rachel in an exasperated tone.

He playfully swatted her rear end. "What I do best, Berry."

He joined in the filming preparations, and half an hour later, they filed off to glee practice, the locker room prepped and ready for Project Prove Mike's Porn Prowess.

Mr. Schuester couldn't understand why all of his students (except Mike) were so antsy during their rehearsal of Firehouse's I Live My Life for You, since he didn't personally see it as the kind of song that would incite so much nervousness, but he readily admitted that sometimes, he just didn't understand what was going through their teenaged minds. And he would've been appalled to his very core to have had a window into their fevered imaginations that particular day.

By the time the end of practice rolled around, they all had looked at the clock, and Mike, innumerable times. Rachel practically jumped out of her seat when Mr. Schue bade them farewell. Mercedes quickly, but carefully, escorted Quinn there ahead of the guys. Rachel nodded at Matt, whose job it was to get Mike to the locker room. He steered him outside the choir room. The rest of them piled in around the piano, where Artie had already whipped out his laptop. The screen showed the livefeed from the cameras they'd hooked up in the locker room.

"We are ready to go," declared Artie. Kurt and Tina high-fived each other.

It seemed forever before Quinn made it to the locker room and an even greater infinity for Mike to arrive. By that time, Matt and Mercedes had returned from their respective assignments, and taken up spots around the laptop.

"Did I miss anything?" asked Matt.

Finn shook his head. "He just went in there."

From the laptop, they heard Quinn say alluringly, "Mike."

Hesitantly, Mike sat down on the bench next to her. He murmured something too soft for the microphones to pick up, but Quinn flashed a radiant smile and leaned in to kiss him. Finn sucked in a surprised breath. "What did you say to him?" whispered Rachel in Puck's ear. "He's not freaking out."

"I told him she was horny as heck for him after she watched the porno," Puck replied simply.

Mike and Quinn were making out like they were each other's oxygen, and Quinn's hand was creeping down to the fly on his jeans. "Houston, we have liftoff," intoned Artie solemnly as, a few moments later, Quinn had managed to free Mike's erection from his boxers.

Santana and Tina shared an involuntary gasp. Kurt gave an appreciative wolf whistle. Brittany noted jubilantly, "The camera you're using is really clear."

Indeed, it was. New Directions was able to thoroughly observe, with perverse delight, Mike Chang demonstrating just how flexible he really was. He lifted Quinn onto his turgid manhood with a strength seemingly at odds with his gangly build, and in deference to her pregnancy, adjusted his position in a way that had every single male member of the club wincing in vicarious pain. He refused to stay still for the next twenty minutes, contorting and twisting his body in ways that seemed to defy logic. Several times, Finn actually cried out, "How is he doing that?"

"Okay," said Santana, "I guess we can say it now."

"That was totally all Mike in the movie." Kurt fanned himself rapidly with one hand, then both.

Artie was watching the screen, stroking his chin thoughtfully. "It's hypnotic, the way he moves."

"Like a flag flying free in the wind," offered Tina, her eyes glued to the action.

"Mike. Porn. Real," was all Matt managed.

"Oh, look, he's doing a bridge…sweet candy corn, that is unbelievable!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"Dude, my brain just shut down," announced Puck.

"Glurgh," said Rachel. Puck squeezed her arm reassuringly.

"I wonder if he can do that from behind…" Brittany's out-loud wondering was cut short by what was happening on-screen. "Look, he can!"

"It's not natural for a dude's legs to be that far behind his head," whined Finn, gesticulating wildly. "It's just not!"

The glee club watched for a few more minutes, the only sounds in the room being their own rapid breathing and the moans, sighs, and squeals (these being Quinn's) emanating from the laptop's speakers.

"Is she…is Quinn crying?" asked Puck incredulously. He leaned forward to peer intently at the screen. "She is! She didn't cry after we did it!"

"He's not hurting her, is he?" demanded a concerned Finn.

Santana studied the scene. "Doesn't seem like it. She's smiling like she just landed a perfect front hurdler jump."

It was the truth. An enormous, satisfied grin was plastered on Quinn's face, radiant even through the tears. "Tears of joy," Mercedes concluded in awe.

Mike and Quinn both seemed to have exhausted themselves. Quinn was flushed bright red, and lying back on the bench, panting like she'd run a marathon. "I spent more time on this project than my Spanish assignment," Brittany suddenly chirped.

Despite the incongruence of it, her announcement made everyone pause. Rachel asked in a small voice, "Is it kinda sick that we went to all this trouble?"

Silence reigned for a few more seconds. Puck finally said, "Nah. Look at them both. They're as happy as clams. And Quinn can't get pregnant – no need to thank me – so there's no worries about that. No harm, no foul."

Pleased by Puck's answer, Rachel beamed at him and at the rest of the group. Then, Kurt said, in a meditative tone, "How do you think Mike would handle himself in a threesome?"

Before anyone else could respond, Santana shouted, "I'm on it!" She was in such a hurry to sprint out of the room, she accidentally bumped Artie's chair, sending him into a slight spin.

"Darn," said Tina. Artie looked askance at her, his eyes full of irritation.

Rachel and Puck shrugged simultaneously. "Let's watch," said Puck.

And they did. And Mike handled himself beautifully.