A/N: Written as a birthday gift. All of this takes place in the realm of canon. Reviews are lovely.

tell me something good
(tell me that you love me, yeah)

i. springtime, 2005; pre-pilot

The first time it happens they are fourteen, reading old copies of Vogue on Blair's bed after school. Serena's restless and a little cranky – she won't admit it, but Blair knows that the reason for this mood of S's is Carter Baizen's recent disappearance from Manhattan. It's the first time in days that Blair has seen Serena be still.

"I don't know what to wear tonight," she mentions cautiously. Her teeth dig into her bottom lip. She has a dinner-date with Nate, at seven, and she's exhausted her little black dress collection.

Serena flips the page a little too aggressively, causing the edge of it to rip. "Just wear what you're wearing now, B."

"I can't do that," Blair says, aghast. Her school clothes definitely aren't appropriate for the restaurant Nate's taking her to. She inspects her nails critically. "I should have gotten a manicure yesterday, but we had that history paper due, and I had to – "

"God, Blair," Serena interrupts. The magazine falls closed as her lips twist into a frown. "You need to get laid."

Blair's cheeks flame automatically. "For god's sakes, S," she snaps. "You know that Nate and I are saving ourselves for each other."

"Then don't wear anything tonight," Serena dares, her eyes narrow.

"You're being ridiculous. I'm sick of your attitude lately. You can leave, if you want."

"Or you could relax."

"I am relaxed!" Blair all but screeches, throwing her magazine aside.

They look at each other for one heated moment, and then Serena's frown flips into a smile, and all of a sudden she's giggling. And Serena's always had infectious laughter – Blair only lasts about two seconds before she joins in.

"What…what makes you think you know so much about sex?"

"Experience," Serena says flippantly, in that way that makes Blair feel like she's ten years younger even though she's technically over half a year older than Serena.

"Experience like what? I'm your best friend. You have to tell me. And no lying."

Serena gives her a long, searching look. "Or…"

"Or?" Blair demands impatiently.

The blonde's eyebrows arch. "Or I could show you," she says smoothly.

"What?" Blair all but squeaks out.

"It's not that big a deal, B."

She scowls, because not-a-big-deal is Serena's attitude toward everything. "Of course sex if a big deal," she says, almost evasively. "You can't get your virginity back once you give it away."

"So what?"

"So, you give it to someone special. Someone who deserves it."

Serena's teeth dig into her bottom lip. "And you think that person's Nate?"

"I think, yes." Blair squints at her for a moment, notes the sudden shyness in her best friend's eyes, and everything clicks perfectly into place like a series of puzzle pieces; her mouth forms a small 'o'. "You put out for Carter Baizen," she accuses.

Serena flips her long hair over her shoulder carelessly. "It's not like I have a boyfriend."

"He left." The words leave Blair's lips on a sympathetic hum. "You slept with him and then he left."

Blue eyes flash with hurt. "Those two things aren't connected."

"I know," Blair says hurriedly, reaching out to rest her hand over Serena's. "Sorry." She swallows. "Did it hurt?"

Serena shrugs. "A little. The first couple times."

Blair frowns a bit. "He was nice to you?"

"Sure. It feels good, B. That's why people do it." She smirks mischievously.

Sticking out her tongue, Blair retorts, "And to procreate, you idiot."

"Seriously, B." Serena sticks her tongue out, too. "Don't you ever just want to get it over with?"

Blair picks at a loose thread on her comforter, doesn't reply.

"S'no big deal," Serena reiterates. "I promise."

With a scoff, Blair says, "You also promised to give back my new Marc Jacobs dress."

"C'mon, B." Serena grins, eyes sparkling brightly. "Don't you trust me?"

"Yes," Blair admits.

Serena prompts, "More than anyone?"

"S." Blair rolls her eyes, sends her a look that asks, what's your point?

"I could show you," Serena repeats.

Blair can feel her eyes go wide.

"Yeah." Serena's eyelashes flutter alluringly. "I mean, we've kissed before. It's just another step. And you trust me, right? I deserve it?" There's an edge to her voice and something vulnerable about her eyes.

Blair blushes. Serena's told her stories and she's heard stories from others. "No."

Serena's smile looks like a secret; she reaches out and pushes the magazines off the bed. "You're not scared of me."

"No, but – "

"It's just you and me."

"But – "

"Will you please be impulsive for two seconds?"

"S," Blair whines. Nonetheless, she lets Serena tug her downward, so that they're both lying face to face with no space between them, their heads on the same pillow.

"You'll feel good," Serena murmurs, and then kisses Blair before she can even take a breath of air in order to protest.

Blair lies there stiffly for a couple seconds, but then she relaxes and kisses back. She likes Serena's mouth, even more than Nate's; it's warmer and softer and sweeter. They kiss and kiss and it feels nice, good. Serena's hand moves over Blair's side, up and down a few times in a way that has Blair inching closer, and then her hand finally slides downward smoothly – and, abruptly, pushes at the waistband of Blair's striped pyjama pants.

"S – "

Smiling into their kiss, Serena tugs Blair's pants and underwear down further and further, until Blair, trembling slightly, can kick them off altogether.

"It's okay," Serena mumbles; she kisses the tip of Blair's nose and rolls them a little so that Blair's lying on her back.

And then Serena touches her, slips her fingers slowly and carefully inside of Blair – she gasps and shudders a little, her body all warm at the feeling.

"Serena…" Her back arches a little, hair mussed against the pillow as her hips cant upward.

The blonde kisses and then bites lightly at the skin over Blair's collarbone, fingers still at work. "Shut the hell up and just let go, B," she murmurs fondly.

And so Blair does, biting her lip and clutching at nothing with her hands as she lets Serena give her her first-ever orgasm.

She breathes hard afterward, blinks slowly and a little dazedly as she comes down from her high. Serena gives her a lingering kiss and Blair sighs into the other girl's mouth.

"Thank you," she blurts, ever the lady.

Serena laughs, idly licks at her fingers before she wipes them on Blair's sheets. "You're welcome. You wanna watch Tiffany's now?"

ii. autumn, 2007; early s1

"You know I'm sorry, right?"

Blair's eyes catch Serena's in the mirror. "Sorry?" she questions faintly. Her hair is pushed back from her face by a thick terrycloth headband and Serena thinks it makes her look younger somehow; sweeter, in a way that most of the world does not get to see Blair Waldorf.

From where she's sitting, perched on the edge of the bathtub with her legs kicked out in front of her, teal-coloured nail polish drying on her toes, Serena says softly, "Yeah, sorry. About…everything that happened before I left. And about leaving." It's still plaguing at her, making it difficult to fall asleep some nights, making her hesitant to look B in the eye at certain moments.

Blair smirks, but it's almost a smile. "Yeah, I know you're sorry," she says. "But really, you should be sorry about this plan of yours." She inspects her reflection, wiping the remnants of her face mask away. "We should have just gone to a spa like normal people, S. This is so…pedestrian."

"That's the point, B." Serena kicks at her ankle, smiling. "We're bonding."

"Bonding," Blair repeats dubiously. "Having you slather goo all over my face wouldn't have been my choice activity."

Serena blinks innocently. "But don't you feel refreshed now? You look refreshed."

"I look like I just put a ten dollar mask on my face," Blair shoots back, but she returns Serena's smile when she turns around. "That cannot be good for my pores."

Crooking a finger, Serena gestures for Blair to come closer. "Let me be the judge of your pores."

With a giggle, Blair steps away from the sink, bending over so that her face is level with Serena's. "What's the verdict?" she asks teasingly, watching Serena look over her face.

"Hmm." She inspects Blair's face: familiar brown eyes, a nose that Serena had once been jealous of before she grew into her own, lips that definitely taste like some kind of gloss – vanilla or cinnamon, she's willing to bet. She leans in, murmurs, "Just one thing…"

Blair props her hands on her knees, locks her eyes with Serena's. "What?"

Serena starts to smile and then bites it back, shifts so that her feet are resting on either side of Blair's. Without a word, she leans forward, crushes her mouth to Blair's.

The other girl breaks away almost instantly, "S – "

But Serena reaches out with one hand to grab onto Blair's wrists, keeping her close, and uses the other hand to reach behind her, flicking on the tap smoothly. She jumps to her feet, grabs for the showerhead, and directs the spray at Blair.

Who shrieks, "What are you doing?" as she throws her hands out in front of her, trying to protect her dress.

"Helping you clean, B!" Serena declares, whirling around once and letting the water rain down on her. "I'm invigorating your pores."

"You are being ridiculous…"

"And that's how you love me." She holds her hand over the brunt of the spray, threatens to take it away any moment as she prompts, "Right?"

And she's a little surprised, in all honestly, by how much she needs to hear a positive answer.

Blair huffs and glares at her, but she's not yelling anymore when she says, "Right."

Serena holds the showerhead loosely by her side for a moment, tilts her head, opens her mouth to speak –

"S, you're going to flood my bathroom!" Blair protests, her voice rising in pitch again.

Serena ignores her. "I missed you, you know?"

Blair's completely drenched now (and braless beneath her summery dress, Serena notices) but she's laughing, her bare feet braced against the wet floor. "Serena, you moron," she splutters. "I missed you too."

Her smile blossoms, threatens to split her cheeks. "It must have been boring, without me, right?" she asks, almost rhetorically, directing the water toward the mirror; it bounces off and flies onto Blair. "Must have been so boring," she says, nodding to herself as Blair tries to escape the water.

The shorter girl grabs onto the showerhead, says laughingly, "Stop, stop."

Serena puts on her most angelic face. "I'm un-boring you, B."

"It was boring," Blair confesses. "It was boring and awful and…"

The showerhead clatters to the floor when they both let go.

"You know it's not like…it's not like anything stopped when I left." That has to be the very worst explanation Serena has ever come up with for anything, but there it is; there it is and she wants nothing more than for Blair to understand.

"S," is all her best friend says, just a syllable, a letter.

Serena sits, right there on the bathmat, which is strangely squishy now that it's soaked with water. She reaches up a hand and pulls Blair down with her, sighing as she does though. Her cheeks feel wet and she thinks it might not just be from tap water. "You're still my bestie."

Blair nods, eyelashes dripping over her solemn eyes. She doesn't need to say it, but they both know it; you're mine, too.

Licking water off her lips, Serena says, "And I love you always."

Blair kisses her first this time, smiles against her mouth and tugs the sleeve of Serena's shirt down her shoulder.

"What're you doing?" Serena asks, goes to peel Blair's dress off without waiting for an answer.

And Blair is wearing the smile Serena loves best, mischief and sweetness all tangled together, it stays in place as she slips out of her dress helpfully "Re-loving," she says in a teasing tone, "Un-boring. Bonding, like you wanted."

iii. summer, 2008; post-1x18

"I love you, B."

"You're drunk, S," Blair retorts gently, swallowing her laughter as she eases Serena onto her bed.

"I do, though. Thank you for taking me home." Her eyes are wide, bright blue and glistening. "I ruined your night with Chuck."

"It's okay, sweetie," Blair tells her absently, pulling a soft, short nightgown out of one of her drawers.

"You didn't have to pick me."

Blair turns around and is taken aback, in that moment, buy how sad and vulnerable and young Serena looks. She walks over to the bed, drops a kiss on top of S's head. "I'll always choose you."

Serena takes a deep breath, and Blair can actually see the way it hitches in her chest. "I make it impossible for people to love me."

"No," Blair says softly, shaking her head. "C'mon, let's get you out of this dress, okay?"

"Dan broke up with me." Serena's eyelashes are wet.

"I know," Blair says softly, tucking Serena's hair out of her face gently. "I'm sorry. It's not your fault, though."

"Yeah, it is. I messed us up."

"You did not. Dan Humphrey should not have had the gall to break up with you, S."

Serena sniffs, asks quietly, "Are you mad at me?"

Blair narrows her eyes a bit, says dismissively, "Of course not. Come on…" She reaches around Serena to detach the hook-and-eye closures on the back of her dress. "Come on, let's get you out of this…"

Stubbornly, Serena doesn't move. "I messed us up, too."

"Water under the bridge, Serena," Blair tells her gently, smirking a little as she adds, "It takes more than Georgina Sparks to mess you and me up."

Serena glances away, staring at nothing. "He loved me," she murmurs.

With a sigh, Blair abandons all efforts to get her friend undressed and leans down, taking Serena's face in both of her hands. "Listen to me, alright?" When she has Serena's attention she says steadily, "I love you. I love you best. I love you most. Okay? You don't need Humphrey."

"You have Chuck," Serena protests, but the waver in her voice has disappeared.

"And who did I leave with tonight?" Blair asks by way of reply, arching an eyebrow.

A smile ghosts over Serena's lips. "Me."

"Have I made my point yet?" she teases, pulling Serena to her feet. "Let's get you out of this, okay?"

Serena laughs, then, a sudden burst of amusement, and she stands up willingly and strips out of the dress. "Is that the real reason you left with me?"

Blair joins in on her laugher, watches as Serena kicks the pile of yellow, ruffled fabric aside. "You caught me."

Serena sits back down on the bed, pushes herself backward so that she can sit with her legs sprawled out in front of her, crossed neatly at the ankle – completely unbothered by the fact that she's in nothing but her underwear. She squints at Blair, still tipsy. "Mean it?"

"That I love you?" Blair asks, even though she knows that's not what Serena really means; she's stalling.

Serena nods.

And Blair relaxes, sits on the edge of the bed next to Serena. "Are you asking me to prove it?"

"No." Serena shakes her head, hair flying lose from her updo. "You prove it all the time."

Blair sighs, lifts a hand and rests it on the mattress on the other side of Serena's body; leans over her. "Don't be sad about this, okay? He's really not worth being sad over."

"Then give me something worth being happy over," Serena requests.

That throws Blair off a bit, and she has to pause to think of something – but before she can says another word, Serena leans forward a kisses her; so briefly and so lightly that she could have imagined it.

She reaches out and gently tucks Serena's hair out of her face. "Drunk," she berates her gently.

Serena shakes her head, lies back against the pillows and closes her eyes. "Finding things to be happy about," she replies matter-of-factly.

Blair smiles at that, but she whines a little when she teases, "You don't look happier."

"'Cause I'm sad."

Blair bites her lip lightly, watches Serena's eyelashes flutter as she opens her eyes again. "Let me change that?" she requests.

The kiss that she initiates lasts no longer than the one Serena gave her did; it's soft and brief and afterwards she begins a steady, careful trail of kisses, continuous presses of her lips against Serena's skin, works her way downward slowly.

"B? What're you…"

Blair tugs off her headband and slips out of her dress impatiently, bends a bit to kiss a spot just to the side of Serena's bellybutton, shoots her a shh look. "He's not worth it," she repeats, leaving no room for argument.

Serena's fingers dig into the sheets. "So what's worth it?"

Leaving a lazy path of kisses over Serena's hipbones, Blair informs her, in the same unquestionable tone, "You."

iv. winter, 2009; post-2x21

She slips the headband off of Blair's head, tosses it casually, carelessly, onto the floor. It's quiet in the room, save for the barely-audible sound of their breathing, inhales and exhales in sync. The lights are on but dim, and Serena feels pleasantly cozy.

It's safe: this room, this moment, the two of them. She threads her fingers repeatedly through Blair's hair, gently pulling her updo apart.

"What're you doing?" The murmur of Blair's voice is low and tinged with amusement.

"Nothing," Serena mumbles in reply, adding randomly, "Your hair is pretty."

Blair shifts her head a little on the pillow that's lying on Serena's stomach. "How much, exactly, did you drink at that Seder you unceremoniously crashed?"

She tries not to laugh noisily, but she's sure Blair can feel the muscles shifting in her stomach anyway, giving away her laughter. "Am I not allowed to compliment you unless I'm drunk? I'll have to start drinking more often if that's the rule."

Snuggling into the pillow a little, Blair replies, "I suppose you can compliment me whenever you like."

"You suppose?" She moves her fingers deeper into Blair's hair, massaging her scalp. "Well, thank you for the privilege, your highness."

Blair makes a pleased, purr-like sound at the back of her throat, a noise that makes Serena shift her hips a little beneath the weight of Blair's body pressed against hers. "You're welcome. It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Obviously. All of you is pretty." She takes Blair's hand in her own and lifts it, presses careful kisses to each of her fingertips.

When Blair lifts her head, her hair falls around her face messily, beautifully. "So's all of you." She smirks. "No wonder all the boys are fighting over you."

"There's no fighting!" Serena protests, tracing meaningless patterns out on Blair's palm.

"Well, it would hardly be acceptable now that you're a married woman."

Serena pouts. "Stop. I said si. It totally could have been a real wedding; it was an honest mistake."

"No more weddings, mistaken or otherwise," Blair orders. "I'm supposed to be there when you get married."

She nods. "I know," she acknowledges, but then she counters, "And I'm supposed to be there when you need help. Why haven't you been talking to me? About Yale, about Nate, about all of it?"

"I don't know. I was…embarrassed, I guess."

"Embarrassed to tell me?" Serena clucks her tongue in disapproval. "This is nothing compared to all the embarrassing shit I've done." She softens her voice a little as she adds, "You never have to be embarrassed around me."

Blair nods decisively. "A very good point."

"B!"

"I'm agreeing with you, S," she insists with innocent eyes and devilish grin.

"Well, I take it back," Serena declares. "You should be embarrassed that you wanted to be on Junior Committee."

"Hey!" Blair sits up even more, bracing her hands on either side of Serena's body, and frowns. "The Whitney Junior Committee is a very respectable – "

Serena can't help it. She bursts into a fit of giggles.

"Serena," Blair protests in a scandalized tone, but less than a second later she's laughing too.

"Respectable?" Serena manages to choke out through breathless laughter.

Blair sobers up a bit. "Well, it really is –"

Serena cuts her off with a shake of her head. "Screw that, B. Screw Whitney Committee."

Softly, Blair smiles and adds defiantly, proudly, "Screw being Jackie O."

Nodding, Serena contributes, "Screw college."

"Screw boys," Blair points out, "especially ones that pretend to be cater waiters or that pretend to marry you in Spain."

Serena laughs, and grins her cheekiest grin. "Screw you," she says.

Blair laughs, too; she lifts one of her shoulders in a careless shrug. Regally, she replies, "You may."

Serena feels her eyes and her grin widen as Blair re-adjusts her position, lifting herself up a bit so that she can lie pressed along Serena's side. She pushes Serena's sweater off her shoulders, undoes the button on her jeans. A little impressed, she inquires, "Who's screwing who, exactly?"

At that, Blair blushes – just the slightest bit.

And Serena smiles more softly, nudges Blair so she can sit up a little and get rid of her sweater all together. "No embarrassment, remember?"

"Please." Blair scoffs. "As if. After all of the embarrassing shit you've done?"

"Ah," Serena says, only partly sarcastic (partly genuine). She closes her eyes when Blair's mouth settles over her neck, her collarbone, the hollow of her throat. "There's the girl I know and love," she murmurs.

v. autumn, 2009; post-3x01

"Beeeeeeee."

Blair shifts, pulls the blankets tighter around herself and buries her face halfway into the pillow. "Mm," she murmurs. Go away.

"B, wake up," an all-too-familiar voice whispers, right by her ear.

She lifts a hand, with effort, and waves it dismissively in the air. "Sleeping," she mutters, even though it should be obvious.

"I know." Lips linger over her jawline and the voice coaxes, "Up, please…"

Blair tilts her chin up a little, gives Serena's mouth better access even as she squeezes her eyes shut tightly and repeats very firmly: "Sleeping."

Serena giggles softly. "Stop."

"You stop." With a sigh, she finally opens her eyes, and her clock informs her that it's two fifty-eight in the morning; she's half-asleep in bed with Serena wide awake and curled around her.

"No, you."

She turns a little, pushes her hair out of her face and blinks blearily before Serena's blue eyes, right above her own brown ones, come into focus. "Is something wrong?"

Serena sits up then, on her knees, palms pressing into the mattress and hair tumbling over her shoulders. "I can't sleep," she confesses, her tone light.

Blair yawns, asks wryly, "So you decided to wake me up?"

"I'm bored, B," Serena sighs, a smile curling her lips as she adds, "Now we can be bored together."

She shuts her eyes again, sighs as well. "That is positively the worst logic I've ever heard in my life."

"Don't go back to sleep," Serena pleads, trailing her fingers gently over Blair's face, tracing the outline of her cheekbones, the bridge of her nose. "Please don't go back to sleep."

"S…" Blair relents, props herself up on an elbow. "I start NYU in days, I need rest."

"You do not need rest," Serena says with a roll of her eyes. "You're more prepared for NYU than NYU is prepared for you."

Blair heaves a dramatic sigh, because that's probably true, and lets her head fall back to the pillow, her cheek pressed against it. "I can't believe you woke me up just because you're bored."

"But I am bored," Serena says, with unnecessary emphasis. She bounces her knees a little, shaking the mattress. "You go to NYU and I go to Brown in days, like you said – this is the last sleepover of our childhood and you're wasting it, Blair. Wasting it."

She pouts. "I have to meet Chuck for breakfast in like…five hours…"

"Have breakfast with me first." Serena bats her eyelashes over her blue eyes – she looks, Blair thinks, impossibly beautiful and…appealing, even at three o'clock in the morning. "Blaaaaair. C'mon, for me."

"I'm not eating breakfast at three a.m., Serena." She smiles a little in spite of herself. "Not even for you."

"I'm leaving in less than a week, and you won't even – "

"You'll be back in two weeks," Blair says confidently. She purses her lips. "You'll miss me too much."

Serena rolls her eyes, pouts back, "No breakfast?"

"No."

"But I'm – "

"Bored. Yeah, I got that. But it's three in the morning. No sane person is hungry at this time."

Serena goes so completely still and quiet that Blair finds it momentarily alarming, and then the blonde says softly, coaxing, "I've got other kinds of appetites, B."

Blair presses her lips together to keep from smiling. "Yes, insatiable ones. You're such a flirt, S."

"Only with you, B."

"Nuh-uh. I'm sure you'll work your way around Brown in no time." She bites her lip. "No dirty hippies, okay?"

"I make no promises." Serena finally lays back down, but only a moment later she slips one of her thighs between Blair's, asks coyly, "So don't you want me while I'm clean?"

"Serena," she sighs, irritated, but the way her breath catches in her throat gives her away.

"I want you first," Serena bargains, her eyes shining in the blue-gray light of the room. "Before you're contaminated by Chuck Bass," she teases.

Blair huffs, and she fully intends to protest that statement, but she somehow finds herself kissing Serena instead; making a needy, breathy sound when the blonde breaks the kiss first.

"You woke me up for this," she accuses, gripping a fistful of Serena's nightgown in her hand.

Serena is busy planting a trail of kisses up her neck, pausing to tug at the lobe of Blair's ear with her teeth and whisper, "Woke you up 'cause I was bored…and kinda hungry…"

Blair laughs a little and cups Serena's chin in her hand, pulls her into another kiss.

"There is," she admits slowly, breathlessly, "whipped cream in the kitchen."

Serena's tongue tangles with hers before she murmurs back, mischievously, "Best of both worlds."

vi. springtime, 2010; during 3x18

Serena sighs, slouches back against the pillows. "Where's Chuck?"

Blair leans toward her, settles her head against Serena's shoulder as she echoes her sigh. "Don't care." They are silent for a moment, and then she asks, "Where's Nate?"

Thoughtfully, Serena purses her lips. "Don't know." She rests her cheek against the top of Blair's head and inhales a slow, relaxed breath. "It's just us."

"Mm." Blair lifts her face a little, presses her nose into Serena's neck. "It's been too long since it was just us."

With a grin, Serena breathes, in a southern-belle voice, "Why, Miss Waldorf, are you looking to get lucky? Because I'll have you know I'm an honourable lady – "

Blair cuts her off with a decidedly undignified snort. "Honourable, my ass."

Serena gasps, giggles, "I could never kiss such a dirty mouth…"

The brunette slides a hand beneath the blankets, trails it lazily downward until she finds the hem of Serena's dress and curls her fingers just underneath it. "I don't want to play games. I'm tired of games."

She should probably question those words, should probably be a good friend and ask important questions (what game led to you breaking up with Chuck? would be a particularly good one), but she is hyper-aware of Blair's small fingers and the points at which they touch her skin. It has been too long, way too long, since it was just them.

"What do you want, B?" she manages to ask breathily, all traces of her accent gone; no games.

Blair laughs lightly and pulls her hand away – much to Serena's dismay. Eyes sparkling, she asks, a bit haughtily, "What do you want, S?"

"Don't," Serena whines, turning wide blue eyes and a pout in Blair's direction.

Assuredly, with a smirk on her lips, Blair touches Serena's hair, tucks strands together in a messy braid. "Tell me what you want, Serena," she commands gently.

"I want…" She bites her lip. "I want boys not to come between us."

"I think we're past that, sweetie," Blair comments, one of her eyebrows arching upward in amusement.

"No, I mean…not literally between us." She shakes her head, starts over with the simple statement: "We come first."

Blair's smirk softens considerably and it stirs something in Serena's chest. "Of course we do."

Serena lifts her hand wordlessly, her pinkie finger extended. It's silly and it's childish and it doesn't really bind them – but it could, she thinks, if they really wanted it to. (And she does, she wants it to.)

Blair rolls her eyes extravagantly, but she hooks her finger securely through Serena's.

And Serena smiles, takes advantage of the moment and tugs Blair forward sharply via their linked hands, pulls her right into a kiss.

She wants to savour it but Blair pulls back much too soon, leaves Serena with the taste of cinnamon on her tongue and the unquenchable desire for more.

"You can't just have me whenever you want me."

Serena arches a single eyebrow knowingly and adopts her most innocent expression. "Oh, can't I?"

Blair huffs. "The door of this room is wide open."

"Live a little, B." Serena curls closer, bats her eyelashes.

Blair doesn't move away, but she does say very quietly, "You love Nate."

"I do," Serena agrees, softening her voice to match.

"So don't…don't cheat – "

Serena balks at the sound of that word, feels hurt spark a tight feeling in her chest. She moves to pull away, but Blair's legs are tangled with hers and one of Blair's arms is draped carefully over Serena's waist.

"Serena," Blair murmurs, and it is partially an apology and something like a question. Her gaze does not meet Serena's; rather, it settles on her lips.

"S'not cheating," Serena whispers. "It's not."

"You love him…"

She nods, presses her whole body against Blair's, watches the other girls eyelashes flutter. "I loved you first…"

Blair's lips curl into a small smile as she rests her forehead against Serena's. "That's true," she grants.

"Soooo…" Serena draws the word out, trying not to push her luck.

"So what."

She pokes her bottom lip out. "So finish what you started."

"What did I start?" Blair's gaze slides toward the door of the room.

Serena rolls her eyes and in one abrupt motion, tugs the comforter over both of their heads, hiding them away. "Too shy," she scolds. It's darker, beneath the covers, the air thicker and warmer – she can smell Blair's perfume.

Blair lifts her eyebrows again, presses a neat kiss to the underside of Serena's jaw as she tangles her fingers in her hair. "Not everyone gets the same privileges you do."

"Privileges?" Serena repeats faintly. One of Blair's hands is moving steadily over her back and her sides, patiently searching for the zipper of her dress. "Who, exactly, is the one getting spoiled here?"

Blair's hand stills. "And what do you mean by that?"

"Admit it, B." She touches their noses together, tries to quell her smile. "I'm the best you've ever had." When Blair gasps, Serena takes the opportunity to slip her tongue into the other girl's mouth.

With a tiny moan, Blair breaks the kiss, her nose scrunched up in annoyance. "S. Your dress is better than a chastity belt."

Serena giggles. She untucks Blair's blouse from her skirt with ease and moves her fingers daintily over Blair's smooth skin, feels a flash of pride when Blair's abs tighten under her touch. "It's a privilege to touch me," she says teasingly.

Blair huffs impatiently. "You're so easy, Serena," she says in the same teasing tone.

"Shut up."

"Make me," Blair says petulantly.

So Serena leans forward, captures Blair's lips with her own, and she does as told.

vii. summer, 2010; post-3x22

"Paris," Serena sighs, a little bit dreamily, as she walks into their hotel room. She throws out her arms, spins around once, and collapses back on one of the beds. She sighs contentedly, reaches out for Blair's hand and tugs her onto the bed, too.

Blair giggles as she falls willingly next to Serena, their limbs tangling up almost instantly. "The city of love," she says, in just as dreamy a tone. She squeezes Serena's hand. "This summer is going to be so good for us."

"Better be." Serena wiggles her eyebrows. "That's exactly what I signed up for."

"No yoga," Blair tells her with a smirk. "No dream journals. No…no goals. We're going to have fun, you and me. We're going to be happy."

"Blair Waldorf, living without goals?" Serena feigns amazement and presses a hand over her heart. "I never thought I'd see the day."

Blair rolls her eyes, says indulgently, "Fine, a summer of total and complete happiness is the goal. Happy now?"

"Yup. Look, I'm living up to your goal already."

"You're ridiculous, S."

Serena smiles softly. "And I'm all yours this summer, aren't you glad?"

"I am," Blair admits. "Very glad."

"Me too." Serena sighs. "I'm so tired of boys."

"They're unnecessarily complicated," Blair agrees wearily. She pauses for a moment, rethinks it, and adds, "They're just unnecessary."

Serena grins at the ceiling, enjoying the feeling of the sunlight that's steaming in through the windows on her skin and the warmth of Blair's body pressed up against her side. "Preach it, sistah," she laughs.

After a moment of comfortable silence, Blair muses, "We should get up…" They've both packed at least thirty short, flirty summer dresses. They're young and beautiful and fun and smart – she's totally fluent in French, and if Serena stumbles over her conjugation occasionally, she smiles sweetly enough through everything she says to charm anyone. They're going to grace Paris with their presence for a couple months and then leave all the boys wanting more, she's sure of it.

"But this is so much comfier than the plane," Serena sighs.

"The plan was not to lie around being comfy all summer," Blair protests.

"But…there's only one goal, right? Total and complete happiness? And I'm totally, completely happy right now."

"You're twisting my words," Blair protests on a giggle, struggling to sit up, but Serena won't let her. "S. Come on, let's go break some hearts."

Serena scrunches up her nose. "Been there, done that."

"But not here."

She glances over at Blair. "There are better things to do here."

Blair nods; figures that they have all summer to find boys. "That's true. Do you want to play tourist? Arch de Triomphe, Eiffel Tower, Champs Élysées…?" she tempts. "Lingerie shopping, remember?"

"I did say that, didn't I?"

Blair nods again, wrinkles up her nose and bumps her forehead gently against Serena's. "So come on, let's start this summer." She moves to get up again, and this time Serena doesn't stop her from disentangling herself.

"Five minutes, B."

She laughs, walking over to the mirror in order to examine her reflection. She tugs lightly at the few strands of her hair, sighs, "Fine. I could use a shower, anyway – I smell like airplane. You can nap for fifteen, okay? You know that's not a good way to beat jet lag – " She stops short.

Serena's gotten up off the bed, walked over to the window and admired the view – and then she abruptly pulls the thick curtains closed and turns, holding them shut behind her back as she smiles devilishly.

Blair blinks. "What…?"

"Or…" Serena says slowly, "We could save the lingerie shopping for another day and just…stay in."

Blair shakes her head, "Serena, we're in Paris. There are a thousand things to do, a million people to meet…you can't possibly…" She licks her lips. "There are other things for us to do," she says, as firmly as she can.

Serena shrugs, and looks at Blair though her eyelashes, suddenly vulnerable. "So?" she asks mutedly.

"So, let's just…let's go do them."

Lifting her chin, Serena asks, "What if I don't want to?"

Blair frowns. "Of course you want to. This is Paris!"

"So what, B? We've both been here before. We've just never…been here with each other."

She searches Serena's face carefully with hers eyes. "Why should that make it any different?"

"It doesn't have to." Serena swallows, shrugs again. "But it could."

"But…"

"Everything else can wait until tomorrow," Serena cuts her off. "Let's just…let's do the happiness thing, today." She takes a deep breath, her fingers tight on the curtains that she's still holding closed behind her.

Blair realizes, with a start, that it's her decision to make. If she really wants to, she could say no. She could argue that sex is just sex, nothing more. She could stalk off to take a shower, and when she came out, Serena would be smiling and willing to go find them a couple French boys. She could erase all of this; she could erase it all.

Here she is, in what is arguably the most beautiful city in the world, with the girl who (arguably) matters the most to her in the whole world – and all of a sudden her eyes sting and she thinks maybe, just maybe, she doesn't want to erase a single thing at all. Maybe, instead, she wants to write over it all in permanent marker. Maybe she wants this, a summer of Serena and happiness; maybe it's what they both should have wanted from the beginning.

"You're being impossible," she murmurs.

A smile flits like a shadow through Serena's eyes, but it doesn't come close to touching her mouth. She's in one of her favourite cities, and it's her favourite season, and she's with her favourite girl. After this year, after all these years, she doesn't know what else there is. "You wouldn't have me any other way," she whispers back, digs her toes into the soft carpet.

Blair walks toward her, closing the distance between them (making the decision that is hers to make). She reaches behind Serena, as though she's going to pull the curtains open again, and smirks a little as she watches disappointment flare in two spots of pink on the other girl's cheeks.

"Hey, S?"

Serena bites her lip. "Yeah, B?"

Blair smiles, then, lifts herself up onto her toes the slightest bit as she gives Serena a long, lingering, very purposeful kiss.

She tilts her head. "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?" she asks teasingly, barely able to get through the sentence before a giggle escapes her lips.

Serena giggles, too, a perfect echo. She links her arms neatly around Blair's wait, a perfect fit. "Ce soir?" she plays along.

Blair shakes her head, still giggling, and corrects, "Tout les soirs."

fin