His Sunshine

Fear. It's haunted the shadows of his mind for thirteen years. Ever since the day Kuina died. Dominating. Overpowering. Inescapable.

Between sunrise to sunset, he trains his body to the point of exhaustion so he won't have to think. On other days, he sleeps through it all with sake. No one wonders why. They just assume it's his natural habit. By now, it probably is. He has to make sure he doesn't dream. In his dreams, he relives the moment, over and over. He doesn't know if his heart can stand it. One day, he forgets. He dreams.

Zoro stands, eyes frozen open in shock, grief, and pain as the icy fingers of fear held his heart in a death-grip. He looks down on his childhood friend, lying before him. Her face is pale, her blood is cold, and her breath is stopped forever. He's glad her eyes are closed. Seeing them open, unseeing, and blank would be too much. Even now, his childhood grief feels like a new wound: raw and painful. He closes his eyes away from the sight, but it can't stop the voices from saying things he already knows, that he would never want to hear again.

"Yes, yes, only that young."

"Pity, she would have become a wonderful lady…"

"…falling down the stairs-"

Zoro cracked his eyes open to glare at the ones who dared to interrupt Kuina's funeral. He had just barely started to speak, when his breath was knocked from his body with a new sudden shock.

He was standing on the deck of the Thousand Sunny, and looking down at a covered body. He glanced down, and saw his hands were no longer a child's, but his own. So this was reality? Then who…? He looked down at the covered body in front of him. His blood ran cold as he realized it must be one of his nakama. Frantically, he scanned the crew members.

Luffy. Check. The captain had tears running down his face, bawling like a little kid.

Robin. Check. Grave and stoic.

Chopper. Check. Crying like there was no tomorrow.

Usopp. Check. Standing in the corner, quiet for once.

Franky. Check. His hair was drooping, which added to his look of deep depression.

Brook. Check. His violin was as eerily silent as he was.

Sanji. Check. Incoherently blubbering, tears staining his face.

No. No no no no no! Not her!

Even as Zoro denied it, he knew it was true. He raced forward, and yanked the cloth off of the body. His eyes saw the truth in front of him, but he refused to see. He did not want to see her gleaming red hair spread out beneath her hair, a drastic contrast to her bloodless face. He couldn't look at the way she lay, curled in on herself, as if she were still in pain. His eyes refused to acknowledge the way her mouth still was open in a silent scream. He didn't want to know if it was his name she had been screaming as she died, unprotected by him. Instead, Zoro forced himself to stare into her open eyes, looking for the spark, the giveaway that this was all just a joke. He prayed with his heart and soul that she would hop up a second later, and stick out her tongue at him, telling him what a baka he was, and how gullible he was. Nothing. He gazed into her eyes, and felt his world burn around him. Her chocolate eyes were utterly blank, lifeless, and unseeing. The final nail in her coffin.

With a cry, Zoro swiftly scooped up the navigator, shuddering slightly at the coldness of her skin. He cradled her protectively against his chest. Suddenly, he realized his vision was blurry. He blinked rapidly, and, for the first time in thirteen years, tears leaked out of Roronoa Zoro's eyes.

"How?" His voice sounded hoarse and rough.

"The stairs…" Chopper's words, choked with tears, were like a stab to the swordsman's shattered heat.

No no no no…! He gasped aloud with the new pain inside of him. It was a fire, consuming his insides. Fate was the enemy of his life, destroying the people he held closest to him with the same kind of accident. He gently laid the girl on the deck, closed her eyes, and tenderly pulled the cloth over her, as if he were tucking her into bed at night. He gave her a quick, sweet kiss and sat down next to her, curling his arms around himself, as if he could protect himself from the pain. It was a hundred, a thousand, no, a million times worse than Kuina's death.

He was going crazy, he was sure of it. Why else would Nami's voice be echoing in his head, singing that song she was always humming?

The other night dear, as I lay sleeping

I dreamed I held you in my arms

But when I awoke, dear, I was mistaken

So I hung my head and I cried.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

I'll always love you and make you happy,

If you will only say the same.

But if you leave me and love another,

You'll regret it all some day:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

You told me once, dear, you really loved me

And no one else could come between.

But not you've left me and love another;

You have shattered all of my dreams:

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

In all my dreams, dear, you seem to leave me

When I awake my poor heart pains.

So when you come back and make me happy

I'll forgive you dear, I'll take all the blame.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

You make me happy when skies are gray

You'll never know dear, how much I love you

Please don't take my sunshine away

He laughed emptily, bitterly at the irony. She was his sunshine, and the clouds had come to steal her away. What had he been afraid of? Why had he never just told her the truth when he had the time? He hung his head, determined to sit here until he joined her above the clouds…

"OY! BAKA! STOP USING THE DECK AS YOU'RE BED! WE HAVE HAMMOCKS, YOU KNOW!"

Zoro jolted awake. The sun glared at him, and he was forced to squint. He looked up at the person who interrupted his vigil for-

NAMI! His heart jumped at the sight of her, even though she looked ready to take a swing at him. She was right here, next to him. Safe! Alive!

He let out a long sigh of joy and relief. He could feel the weight of a hundred thousand lifetimes being lifted from his shoulders. A dream. Only a dream. Of course. He should have known. He would die before he would ever let anyone hurt Nami.

Still unsatisfied with his lack of response, Nami huffed. Spinning on her heel, she decided to go check on some of the other idiots aboard the ship. Just as she reached the stairs, she heard a sound behind her. Before she could blink, she was being lifted by two strong arms and carried, princess-style, down the stairs. When they reached the bottom deck, Zoro placed her gently on her feet. Blushing slightly and looking at the floor, Nami murmured a small thank you. Looking up, she turned even redder when she saw the swordsman staring deeply into her eyes.

"Stay safe, okay? Be careful with those stairs," he said gruffly.

".. O…Okay.." she agreed.

With one last long, searching look, he headed back to his spot on the top deck, leaving a safe, but slightly confused navigator behind him. He smiled. No one would ever take away his sunshine.

A/N : Love it? Hate it? Buying rotten tomatoes (can you even buy those?) ? Tell me! R&R is love!