Sushi Spoils

"I'll try it, but just once." Jacob told her apprehensively. For a little woman, Kasumi was having no trouble tugging him along with one arm despite his body protesting to turn around to take slow, deliberate steps and stall.

"It's just regular seafood," she argued without looking back.

"Raw fish that might not settle with my stomach…" His words turned into gibberish mumbles as they took a stall in front of the Stand's counter.

"Oh come on," she chided, "it's not like it's turian food. You'll survive. Sushi's been an Earth thing for a long time."

"My pay grade isn't as high as Miranda's, but there's a nice place up at the Presidium—"

"Pleeeeeease?"

Even though he couldn't see it clearly, he knew that she was putting on her best puppy eyes just by watching the violet mark on her bottom lip puff out with her pout. He had seen this look many times unhooded before, but when the disguise was on – which it was ninety percent of the time – it was always her mouth that caught his eye before anything else.

Jacob sighed in defeat, silently cursing his caving-in. "Just once. But I'm still ordering the ramen, and as long as there ain't any elcor doing karaoke while we're eating."

"Oooh, I would say that I can make better ramen than what you get at the Stand, and maybe even better sushi, but I won't since you're going to try it here for me anyway, and what about elcor?" She handed him a holographic restaurant menu.

"Never mind about the elcor, but why are we gonna eat here when you can be making it? Neither of us gotta spend any credits that way."

"Because there's no fish to purchase around here, Jacob. At least not fresh ones unless we get it here, where we're about to eat our dinner."

A few feet away from them were a pair of krogans who came to a stop in their tracks at the nearby conversation they walked into. They looked at each other for a moment before taking steps into the human couple's direction.

One of the strangers cleared his throat before speaking, catching Jacob and Kasumi's attention. "My friend and I overheard you talking about Citadel fish while passing by."

"You mean there are fish for sale here?" Jacob sounded more surprised than he intended.

"The best fish, which is from the lake at the Presidium," the krogan said proudly, gesturing at a bag he was holding.

Kasumi shook her head slowly. "I don't recall ever seeing fish in the Presidium Lake. And if there are, I don't think you can buy them to eat…"

"Hah! That's what you think!"

The other krogan rubbed at his top plate absently. "Don't mind him. Kargesh here is just feeling lucky because some human was generous enough to sell it to him."

"Well Rukar here is just pissed off that I bought the fish instead of buying a big gun, that I wouldn't have let him borrow anyway…"

"Now where the hell did you get that idea?"

"You told me!"

"When did I tell you that?"

"When you said, 'guns are better than fish'."

"I didn't say that I wanted to borrow a damn gun!"

"But you were implying it."

Jacob and Kasumi stared at each other, both sharing the same befuddled look that said 'What the hell is happening?'

"—I bet you only wanted to use my gun so you can impress Sha'ira!"

"I freaking told you that I'm not into asari!"

A couple gasps were heard from a blue bystander party. "Sorry that my people aren't 'platey' enough for you, jerk." shouted one of the asari in the group.

"Oh, uh, sorry that was so loud…" muttered Rukar.

Jacob waved for the chef's attention. "Can we have some, uh, drinks for the meantime?"

The chef smiled as he placed two glasses of water in front of the couple. "Here you go." The chef switched his attention to the krogan pair, "By the way, I overheard you talking about Presidium fish. There's none in that lake."

"But I got these fair and square from a human who confirmed it to me!" Kargesh waved the bag in air hysterically.

Jacob snorted. "I gotta trust the cook, since he probably knows the most about fish in this whole area."

The chef heaved a sigh and shook his head. "Sir, I'm not sure what's a better way to say this, but you," he set out chopsticks in for the couple, "were ripped off," he said calmly.

"Bullshit!"

"Told you that you should've saved up for a weapon!"

"Not bullshit, I assure you." The chef continued, "Whoever bought that fish probably bought it at the souvenir's shop over at the '27th, and frankly whatever's in that bag of yours is not something I would ever serve my customers."

"Goddammit!"

"Hey, hey, hey," Jacob piped up, "this woman and I are trying to have a lovely dinner here."

"Damn it Kargesh, we basically just ruined their date and all because you had to butt in!"

"You didn't tell me we shouldn't!"

Kasumi stifled a giggle. Jacob put his face in his palm. "Oh god…"

"And I thought they would never leave," said Jacob.

"At least they said sorry, right?"

"You think so? Maybe I need to touch up on my Krogan Rosetta lessons but I thought they said, 'we apologize for interrupting anything special but can we have a taste of your sushi before we leave?'"

"And you really were going to give it to them."

"Oh no… I wasn't. Hey, I tried it too, like you asked."

Kasumi's steps slowed down. "And…?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes…?" She felt like a little girl waiting for his response like it was a birthday gift.

"I see the commander over there. He's waving at us," he deadpanned.

"Wha—?" Kasumi turned her head to where Jacob's head nodded. An armored man strode over to their direction with an exaggerated swagger. She couldn't help but notice a big smirk playing along his mouth.

"And what are you two up to?" Shepard asked.

"Jacob was just about to tell me what he thought of the sushi I treated to him."

"Wait, 'treat' as in 'stole,' right?"

Kasumi huffed indignantly, "I resent that!"

"Nothing was stolen, Commander. Except some krogan's money."

"Huh? That's a shame. I assume that whoever stole the krogan's money got their ass tossed out the vents? Was it a duct rat that stole it?"

"Well, ah, no." Jacob scratched the back of his head, "Not exactly stealing, per say."

"Yeah, not." Kasumi nudged slyly.

"Anyway, some person who claimed to have fish from the Presidium Lake offered to sell it to this krogan, only there aren't any fish in Presidium and that krogan paid a lot for basic souvenir pets."

Shepard let out a forced chuckle while shaking his head. "Oh man, hah, you guys," he said before erupting in hearty laughter.

The other two regarded each other warily. "What's so funny?"

With a wicked glint in his eye, Shepard told them in an unexpectedly serious voice, "I know who gave him that fish."

"That… that tone tells me that this is a lot worse than it sounds."

"Mr. Taylor, sometimes people need to learn things the hard way. And I am more than happy to be the teacher at those times."

"Yeah. We learned that you're kind of the reason why our dinner date was screwed up."

"Shucks," Shepard said sardonically. "I'll make it up to you two—what kind of fish do you guys want?"

"Hell no, Commander."

"C'mon," he prodded.

"No, no, and no."

"Not even from the Presidium?"

"You have a weird sense of humor, Shep."

"It's why I'm so charming—"

"—KARGESH, I FOUND THAT ASSHOLE HUMAN!"

"Oh." Shepard muttered. "Shit!"

The three humans swiveled their heads towards the all-too familiar voice of a pissed off krogan. Several other people around them looked towards the voice as well.

"Rrraaaaagh! YOUR ASS IS MINE, HUMAN!"

"AND WE'RE TAKING YOUR WEAPONS!"

Jacob reached for Kasumi's hand frantically with his own, gripping it like their lives depended on it. "We'll see you at the Normandy, Commander!"

"What? No you get back here! That's an order!"

"We're on Shore Leave, Shep. We're all off-duty!" Kasumi exclaimed as she jolted into a sprint with her beau.

"Damn it!"

They were still running even though the loud thuds of a distant brawl were going mute.

"So—!" Kasumi exhaled, "did you like the sushi?"

"I confess—!"

"—Yes?"

"I-di-li-it!"

"Come again?"

Jacob came to a stop, his hand still linked with hers halted her run abruptly. "I did like it. Hell even that thing you said was an eel tasted good."

"See?" she beamed.

He stepped closer to her. "But," he added, "for some reason I think I would've liked it more if you made it."

"Hm, not sure if I remember exactly how my family made sushi but I can give it a knack one day."

"I'll even buy the fish."

"Not from the Presidium. Or the Citadel for that matter."

He wound an arm around her shoulder and gave her an overly affectionate peck on the cheek. "I'll keep that in mind."