Okay, I don't wanna write this for every chapter, so here it is:

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN MAXIMUM RIDE

Before we can begin, I want to say that some of the chapters may be a bit gory/graphic/short, that's just how I write.

All of the ways to die are each in individual Chapters, and I have named the chapters accordingly.

A short message: I DON'T FUNKING CARE ABOUT MY GRAMMAR, BLAME IT ON MY TEACHER!

All who ignore this message shall have the bus ninjas released upon them.

By the way: I know Dylan isn't in character, but it's funny to make him full of himself.

PS: I am going to make him die from fangirls (real original,) so, if you REALLY HATE the sin against the world that some call "Dylan" please tell me in a comment, and you can even choose your weapon, choose toast if you want, I can make it work. somehow.

So… anyway,

ON WITH THE CARNAGE! XD

DYLAN POV

It was morning, I yawned and scratched my butt. I walked up the staircase and into the bathroom to find Max brushing her teeth. Now was my chance to act MANLY in front of my future girlfriend.

I walked to the sink smoothly and picked up Nudges pink shaver, I slathered some unidentifiable foam all over my chin and started to pretend to shave. Max just looked at me funny. I continued, sticking out my chest and trying to look as manly as possible, while staring at Max and grinning like an idiot.

She pointed to her chin, "You've got red on you."

I oh-so smoothly put my arm around her waist, she cringed. I said in my best man-voice, "What do you mean, fair princess?" Max turned green.

I looked over at the mirror to see a 7cm long, shaver width gash across my cheek, blood was running down my face, soaking my Hannah Montana pajamas and onto Max and the floor.

I screamed and ran downstairs, leaving Max puking about my smooth princess remark, I know she wanted me, she was just saving Fang's feelings.

I ran into the kitchen, looking for the first aid kit, but tripped over a rug and face planted onto the floor.

Ouch.

I screamed again as the massive gash in my cheek burned, not literally of course. Blood was covering the kitchen floor and there was a line of red leading to the kitchen from the bathroom, the rest of the flock had woken up at the sound of my wretched shrieking. They just stood there and watched as I slowly and painfully bled to death.

Just as I was about to die, the whole flock smiled, like they were enjoying watching THE MAGNIFICENT DYLAN die. Iggy even started laughing, I looked over and saw Fang making out with 'my perfect other half,' my Max.

"NOOOOOOO!" I screamed at the top of my lungs as best as I could, trying to make myself look dramatic. The flock cringed at the sound of my voice.

Suddenly the whole world faded into blackness, the last thing I heard was Angel,

"Ugh, how disgusting, curb him before he starts to smell."