A\N: Again, I am terribly sorry about the wait. It took me forever and a day to crank this one out. And I still don't think I like it very much :/ Ehh, I might edit this thing later and figure out some new way to spin this, but we'll see. Anyway, as always, read and review! I like that you like to leave reviews about your thoughts and feelings about this story ;) (and please keep in mind this is not OTH :) It did not invent the concept of a school shooting)

Chapter Six:

How we survive is what makes us who we are

Jesse St. James' life comes with a soundtrack. He doesn't particularly like this fact (though it is sometimes enjoyable singing about things), because whenever something happens, trivial or earth-shattering, he'll have a little annoying voice in his head crooning the words to a song that (according to Psychoanalysis Today) 'encapsulate all his relevant thoughts, feelings, emotions and sentiments at the time'. He's been around music all his life; he doesn't need a soundtrack outside of Vocal Adrenalin. But he has one:

Waking up: '4AM' by Lostprophets.

Breakfast: The song from the Tropicana juice ad.

Drive to school: Anything from Basshunter.

End of first period: 'I Can Hear the Bell(s)' from Hairspray.

Lunchtime: 'Milkshake' by Kelis.

And so on and so forth.

And at seven thirty on March the 24th, it is the same as always. Though the days unraveling circumstances greatly affect the type of song he hears in his head. As he races to McKinley High, the lyrics to Rascal Flats' 'What Hurts the Most' (self-explanatory because the almost relationship with Rachel Berry is still painfully coursing through his veins), and Lostprophets 'Rooftops (A Liberation broadcast)', (mostly because he wants to stand on the rooftops and scream his heart out) echo hauntingly through his mind.

When he turns the corner and spies McKinley in the distance, he is taken by surprise at how many service vehicles inhabit the crammed parking lot. Honestly, he doesn't know what he had expected to see. But now, when he pulls to a stop in between two S.W.A.T. buses, the situation hits him like a freight train.

He remembers, as if it had happened twenty years ago, the fateful day in which he and his fellow Vocal Adrenalin members had egged Rachel Berry. Now, he stands in the exact same spot as before. But Rachel is not standing in front of him with eyes filled with betrayal. And his friends are not behind him in support. He is surrounded by an overwhelming sense of panic and desperation that is not yet his own, and suddenly, Jesse St. James does not know what to do.

He walks past a wall of ambulances treating wounded students. His breath catches in his throat. There are so many hurt and wounded. And with the images of destruction comes the soundtrack of loss. He has been blocking out the screams and cries of agony unconsciously, but now the sounds assault him with force.

His breath leaves him like a punch to the gut.

Because he knows that there are far too many McKinley kids around him who are hurt, bleeding, and in pain. And his belief that this moment would end peacefully is erased as a paramedic wheels a stretcher past him.

There is a black bag on the gurney.

And it is full.

And what scares him the most is the fact that the paramedic could be wheeling the body of Rachel Berry past him and he'd have no idea it was her.

With shaking legs he takes a couple of steps forward and almost breaks through the yellow police tape fencing off the high school. He runs his hands through his hair and looks around at the devastation. There are crying parents, terrified students, several news vans accompanied with reporters, and far too many police officers for him to identify the branches of government they work for.

He starts to lose feeling in his legs and his hands are shaking so badly, it makes his wrists hurt. And it is situations like these that he wishes never existed. Because when you're young you care about so much and so many of those things are unprotected.

When you're young, you never think it will happen to you.

But it is happening to Jesse St. James.

And he finally realizes that he really does care about the McKinley High Glee Club.

Because no matter how deep the rivalry is between New Directions and Vocal Adrenalin, no one deserved this. Because there's this voice that speaks within even the most arrogant of them, a voice that says this is not right. Because even the most competitive of them, however strong-headed, however school spirited, are still human. Still feel. Still mourn the random death of innocents. Because when rivalries are broken by tragedy, they turn into just ordinary people—students—kids—friends.

He grabs the yellow caution tape in front of him to make sure it's real. To make sure that this is, in fact, happening. The plastic is hot against his palm and he looks around, sweat sliding down his neck.

It is chaos.

Pure fear.

And he realizes that this might be the end of the world as many people know it.

Suddenly, a microphone is shoved in his face, but he's too shocked to even realize that someone is suddenly talking to him.

"I'm here with Jesse St. James, captain of the nationally ranked Vocal Adrenalin. Can you tell me, Mr. James, why are you here?" He faintly recognizes the reporter from previous interviews during his countless wins at sectionals, and she almost has to scream the question at him for it to be heard over the surrounding noise.

He swallows. "What do you mean?" he manages to get out through his suddenly sore throat.

The blond reporter blinks at him and furrows his eyebrows. "You attend Carmel High, do you not?"

He nods numbly.

"School is still in session," she informs him. "Why did you come here, to McKinley? I've heard they're your hardest competition for the Regional title this year."

Like the beginning of a dream, he does not remember when or how he got in his car to come to McKinley. It might have been when Principle Anderson had come over the PA system, informing the entire student body of Carmel High of the situation at McKinley.

And yet he doesn't care so much about missing school. He recognizes many of the kids around him to be students of Carmel. The thing that he does care about is that this woman is bringing up something as trivial as Regionals at a time like this. Something as trivial as a school rivalry.

For a moment he stares at her in utter surprise. It is only when she lifts and eyebrow expectantly and moves the microphone an inch closer to his face does he speak with so much venom, he even surprises himself. "Get that fucking thing out of my face," he growls, steeling his eyes.

She flinches at his tone and drops the microphone slowly. "Maybe another time, then," she mumbles and slinks away, off to interview another hysterical parent.

Jesse St. James swallows furiously and scans the crowd, dread slowly crawling up his spine. He does not see a single New Direction's member. He knows that doesn't mean anything. They could be on the other side of the school for all he knows. But there's this little voice in the back of his mind. And it is not echoing lyrics to him. It is simply telling him something is not right.

Solemnly, he turns his eyes back to the limestone building of McKinley High.

He stands there, amongst the crying mothers and fathers and wonders how a day like this could possibly get any worse.

But secretly he knows tragedy has been known to top itself in seconds.

-XxX-

Finn Hudson is absolutely paralyzed.

His knees are weak.

His hands are shaking.

He can't breathe.

And it's because Rachel Berry is on the floor in front of him, blood dripping from her side to the white linoleum.

There is an ocean raging inside Finn's head, which he finds oddly fitting because Rachel is gasping for air like a fish out of water. He blinks and the situation is still the same. Finally, when an eternity passes in semi-silence, he opens his mouth.

"Rachel!"

It feels like he hasn't used his throat in ages, and Rachel's name comes out raw and shaky, his voice echoing through the deserted hallway. She bends her head back in a short, jerking motion to look at him, like she can't fully control her movements anymore. Her eyes, which he has come to love so much, are covered halfway by her lids. They've drooped in her exhaustion. Still, Finn sees the fear. The desperation. The pain.

He takes a step forward—

Something slams into his left shin. He goes to ground with a curse of pain, grabbing at the throbbing limb. Suddenly there is blood running through his fingers. Hot and sticky and unreal.

"If you get up, Hudson, you'll have another one coming at you."

He looks up in surprise, because the voice that addresses him now cannot possibly belong to Jacob Israel. It is cold and hard and so absent of regret. This man is confident, in control, and fully aware of what he is doing.

"Jacob," Finn manages to find his voice. "What are you doing?"

"What am I doing?" the redhead repeats blankly with a blink. "I'm shooting people, Finn. I thought that was obvious."

Finn's blood covered hand twitches just a tiny bit. He may be frightened, but Jacob has struck a nerve with his nonchalance. The redhead doesn't have the right to end kids' lives and not show an ounce of remorse while doing it. No one deserves to be this calm in such a devastating situation.

"Why?" Finn asks through a locked jaw.

To his surprise, Jacob seems to contemplate the answer. The boy with glasses looks up and scratches his temple with the barrel of his handgun. "Because I'm tired of it," he answers finally with a sigh, and he sounds so much older than he should.

"Tired of what?" Finn keeps talking, but he doesn't know why he's trying to stall. Clearly Jacob Israel has made up his mind.

"Everything," Jacob answers immediately. "I'm tired of going home to parents who don't care." He looks around the white school hallway with distant eyes, like he's already gone. "I'm tired of coming to this god forsaken place everyday just to get thrown into a dumpster." He shoots Finn a glare before continuing, "I'm tired of being ignored. Of being rejected." He looks to Rachel's prone body and pauses for a moment. When Jacob lifts his head, Finn is taken aback at how sad the redhead looks.

With a quiet voice, Jacob asks, "Why do I have to be miserable when everyone else around me seems to be so happy?"

"This is just four years of your life, man," Finn whispers, "You could have made do with the future. But now? This is something that will truly haunt you forever."

"You think I was going to college? That I had a decent future?" Jacob laughs sadly. "You know my university took away my scholarship? They said that I still had admissions, but that because of the economy, my specific scholarship had to be terminated so the money could go towards the sports program." He locks his jaw in fury, "People like you, Finn, took away my future." Again, his dark eyes flash towards Rachel, "So I'm taking away yours."

Finn's eyes widen in horror and he swallows furiously. "I have to get her out of here, Jacob."

In a split second the redheads hand tightens around the gun and he steps forward. "You aren't taking her anywhere," he snarls. "As I said before, if you try to save her, I will end you."

"She's losing too much blood, Jacob." When the redhead offers a small shrug of his shoulders, Finn balls his fists and slams them to the floor in anger. "You think you can just get away with this? You think you have problems?" he whispers in a rage filled voice. "I say so does the whole fucking world."

"Problems?" Jacob mocks. "People like you don't have problems. People like you have everything you've ever wanted."

"Everything includes an ex-girlfriend that is pregnant, but not with my child. A father that I can only remember through pictures and a high school social structure that wants my blood because I joined the Glee club."

"That is unfortunate," Jacob admits, and there is some sort of feeling passing between Jacobs gaze. Finn does not know what it is, but it is not anger or hostility. "But your friend's lives are untouchable," Jacob continues, and the emotion that was there a second before is gone. "Social immortality is just one of the perks of being popular."

Finn shakes his head and lets out a sad laugh. "If you only knew the people you're generalizing," he sighs. "Quinn got kicked out of her house the moment her parents found out she was pregnant. Pucks father was killed in 9/11. Santana can't fully feel much of any emotion and Brittany secretly feels enough for the both of them, which is why I think she is the way she is. Matt is just like every other football player, he has no identity to call his own and Mike is too self-conscious to dance, to do the thing he loves to do, outside of his own room."

He pauses and looks to Jacob, who doesn't quite seem all that interested. Still, there is a little glint of the redhead's eye that says he is surprised by the information Finn is divulging. A flash of the emotion Finn had seen earlier. Regret? Guilt? Uncertainty? Fear? Any one of those emotions Finn can work with. He just hopes Jacob is more human than he thinks he is. There's a chink in the deranged boy's armor, so Finn starts chipping away.

"Kurt is gay and has to face the full force of people who don't understand what that means. Tina stutters because it makes people leave her alone. Artie was in a car crash when he was six and will probably never walk again. Mercedes get's laughed at because of her weight, and Rachel," Finn swallows and looks to his girlfriend, who has suddenly lifted her head to look at him. "Rachel gets slushied every day because people don't know who she really is. Because all people see is who she is on the outside. They see her automatic defense against people who don't understand her, and they think that that's good enough to condemn her."

There is silence and Finn can't seem to prey his eyes away from Rachel. He figures if this is his last day on earth, then there was no place he'd rather be than right there. He's lived his life. It's been good, eventful and meeting Rachel Berry has changed him.

If this had happened sooner, things would have gone much differently. He would have run the other way and not looked back. But now, he figures that giving in to someone like Jacob Israel would mean the end of everything.

Finn has worked too hard to be the man he is today. And punks like Jacob, kids who give in, who act stupidly on impulse, are just quitters. Life is never going to be easy and Finn Hudson isn't going to let a life or death situation change the way he feels. He will not leave Rachel there to die to save his own skin.

He will stay with her, and if that means the end of his life, then so be it.

"What's the point in telling me this?" Jacob asks, and there is serious curiosity lingering in his voice. "Other than making me realize that I should have put you all out of your misery so much sooner."

"What is your problem?" Finn snarls. "What could have possibly made you like this, Jacob? We're kids, man. We have our whole lives to figure out who we are. And this isn't you, man."

"This isn't me?" Jacob snaps. "You don't even know me, Finn." He steps back and points to his own chest with the gun. "You want to know who knows me? I do. And I know that there's no point in becoming someone no one else will remember."

Finn blinks. "What does being remembered have to do with this?"

"It has everything to do with it." Jacob says. "Everyone is afraid that they will be forgotten, Finn. Even you. It's why we are who we are."

Finn blinks, contemplating the answer. "I don't care if people remember me," he admits.

"Sure you do," the redhead smiles. "Why else would you join Glee club?"

Again, Finn does not know what to say. He knows that he joined Glee club because it made him happy. "I did it because I wanted to." But then again, he was sort of, kind of, forced into joining Glee. He still doesn't know where the pot came from, but the options that Mr. Shue presented to him at the time weren't very reasonable. He chose Glee because it wasn't going to show on his permanent record and therefore he wouldn't disappoint his mom. He didn't want to be remembered as the son who screwed up.

And suddenly, Finn Hudson realizes that being remembered has everything to do with this day.

Jacob lets out a mock of laughter and Finn blinks, returning to the moment.

"You joined Glee because it got you attention. Granted," the redhead shifts his head this way and that, contemplating. "Whether that attention was good or bad is up for interpretation at the moment."

Finn is silent.

"You see," Jacob continues, "joining Glee Club will get you into the history books. The jock that turned into a show man. You're the man that will take New Directions to Regionals. But soon you'll graduate. People will forget your face. They won't remember your smile or your voice and you will be lost among the people of this world." A feral grin spreads across his face. "But me? Oh, my actions today will secure me a page in the history books. For sure."

"And today will make you a monster." Finn snarls.

There is the smallest and quickest flash of sadness in Jacob's eyes. But it is gone before Finn can act on it.

"When will you learn that that's the only type of person history remembers?" Jacob counters, and his eyes linger on Finn for a second before he turns and starts to pace. "We remember dictators and assassins. We remember the violence and the terrible things that have happened to good people. Face it Finn, the only thing that interests the public is chaos and destruction." He stops and smiles. "Well, I'm giving them both."

"When did you get so lost, man?" Finn asks in a soft voice. "You seemed so chill at all the Celibacy club meetings, remember?" Finn catches Jacob's eyes as they flash again. It is remembrance of what used to be, Finn now realizes. He knows Jacob misses what used to be. He misses it desperately. "Or when you filled in for me at sectionals?" Finn licks his suddenly dry lips, "You know, I never thanked you for that."

"Stop it." Jacob whispers.

"Without you," Finn continues, "we would have never even qualified for Regionals. Without you, Glee would not exist now." And Finn says the next words with such sincerity; he hopes they break through the wall of hate surrounding Jacob Israel's heart.

Because it is all about being remembered.

It's just that Jacob never really looked at the whole picture.

"You were a part of Glee, Jacob. It doesn't matter how long or short your presence was because you helped us. We will remember you because, without you, we would have never gotten the chance to be the kids we are today." Finn sighs deeply, suddenly noticing the tremble of the gun in Jacob's hand. "So, thank you, Jacob, for letting us Glee Kids be who we are."

There is silence.

And Finn finally sees it. There is a little flash of regret. And edge of panic. And Finn can practically read the uncertainty written across Jacob's forehead. The gun is not longer threatening to put a hole in either Rachel or Finn, finger off the trigger.

But Finn's ears pop with the cock of a gun and he can suddenly hear everything. Rachel is panting softly, still hanging on. Jacob's chest is heaving with deep breaths, his gun forgotten.

And there are soft footsteps behind them.

A throat clears in the distance and Finn turns his head ever so slightly.

Teri Schuester is behind him at the end of the hallway. And there is a gun in her hand.

The ex-wife is regarding the group with an air of curiosity. She looks to Rachel but is unconcerned with the blood on the floor next to the teen. She twitches her nose at Finn, like she's got an itch she doesn't seem to want to scratch and then her eyes fall on Jacob.

"Oh, you actually did it." Her voice is dripping with fake sweetness, like a housewife lying politely to your face. She leans to the side slightly, seeming to get a better look at Rachel. "But you've come up short. She's still breathing."

"Get out of here," Jacob orders, and to Finn's surprise, the ex-wife straightens like she's been insulted and starts to walk away.

She disappears into another hallway, but pokes her head back out seconds later. "You haven't seen that home-wrecking slut anywhere, have you Jacob?"

She might as well have been asking where the peas were. The nonchalance and sweetness were making Finn's stomach roll. What was up with the people in this school?

Jacob grunts and Teri rolls her eyes with a huff, disappearing again.

Finn turns back to Jacob, but before he can voice anything, Rachel does.

"…quinn…" she gasps.

Finn looks to Jacob with desperate eyes, pleading. To his complete and utter surprise, the redhead inclines his head, eyes slightly wide. In shock, maybe. He is still shaken by Finns words.

Finn closes the space between him and Rachel in seconds, his aching shin forgotten. He hauls her up into his arms and strokes her cheek lightly. "What?" he asks in a soft voice.

She swallows, blinking up at him. "Quinn," she repeats through clenched teeth, "with…Miss. Pillsbury…Puck too."

Finn freezes.

Teri Schuester is looking for Emma Pillsbury, who is with Quinn Fabray and Puck, according to Rachel Berry. Finn tightens his hold on the girl in his arms and sighs deeply. There is a need to go find Quinn, to make sure that she's okay. But he also swore to himself earlier that he would not leave Rachel. And he won't.

"It's okay," he soothes, "Puck is with her."

"Finn," she says desperately.

He kisses her forehead. "I can't worry about Quinn anymore because I have to worry about you."

"-I screwed this up."

Finn looks up, and suddenly realizes that he has forgotten all about Jacob Israel. Still, the ferocity is gone from the boy. He still seems angry, but being told that he was a part of something seems to truly shake him.

Jacob Israel licks his lips, raises his gun, and flicks it, like he's shooing away a small animal. "Get out of here."

Finn regards the boy in front of him with disbelief.

"The damage is done, Finn. You don't need to be in here when this thing ends."

"Wh—What?" Finns stutters. "You're letting us go?"

Jacob shakes his head slowly. "You know, I really thought I had this thing figured out. I thought I knew why I was doing this." He looks up and his eyes are filled with regret. "But I didn't expect you, Finn. I didn't expect this."

He sighs and continues, "Get out of here, Finn. And take her with you." He inclines his head ever so slightly, a silent goodbye. And though the boy doesn't say it out loud, Finn can see the apology. "You will remember me, if only because of this day and this moment. I still have to end this. The world still needs its Villain."

Jacob Israel takes a step back and then vanishes around the corner.

Finn Hudson sits in silence with Rachel Berry in his arms. It is safe to say both of them are stunned and too utterly shocked to move. And though he is fully aware the blood on his clothes is not his own and the fact that his girlfriend might quite possibly be bleeding out in his arms, that is not what truly scares him. Because the most terrifying thing that Finn Hudson has come across today is Jacob Israel and his understanding that he will always be the bad guy. That, no matter what happens; some people just can't be saved.

And Finn Hudson realizes that when Jacob Israel woke up this morning and entered McKinley High he knew that, no matter what happened in between the hallways, he wasn't going to leave the building alive.