Howdy, all. Welcome to the little piece of heaven that is "'Til Death Do Us Part", or "TDDUS" for short. You have a lot to look forward to reading this. It's a mixture of pretty much every genre. I guess that's why I enjoy writing it so much. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing.
Title: 'Til Death Do Us Part
Chapter One.
Author: Jordan Laytner with assistance by dearest Tachi-chan.
Pairing: Hidan x Kakuzu
Rating: M for Masochisy
Warnings: Yaoi, Blood/Gore, Death, Romance, SEXUAL THEMES, Violence, Sexual deviancy, Social deviancy, Jordan Laytner, Language, Abuse of A Spouse, Substance Abuse, The Color Purple, I Like The Way You Move, Tulips, Abuse of a Uchiha, No one caring about said Uchiha, Porn, Not porn, dancing in the moonlight, Tidus's voice, Pikachus. YOU SEE HOW WEIRD I AM?!

If you enjoy, please feel free to leave any comments, questions, concerns, or constructive criticism you have in your arsenal. I welcome any and all, and I try to make a habit of answering any and all critiques.
*As of 12/8/12, I re-uploaded this chapter due to slight spelling and grammar fixes that I missed the first round. I found them a bit distracting.

Kakuzu's POV
I woke up to the annoying ring of my alarm clock, a jazzy tune I didn't particularly like, and realized, after that too short vacation we had, the first day of the second semester was here. With a loud grunt I kicked the blankets off myself and stood up. It was frigid outside and I really didn't feel like getting dressed. I headed into my bathroom, just down the hall, and took a hot, but short shower. Couldn't have my water bill running up, could I?

I got dressed in the bathroom while it was still steamy and warm. Wearing my usual black, red accented school uniform, I watched myself in the mirror with a disgusted glare on my face. I shrugged my eyes off myself and added my own personal touch, a face mask which covered my mouth and nose. People thought I was just health conscious, but what I had under it was my business.

I walked out of the bathroom and into my kitchenette where I made myself a bowl of cereal. While eating from said bowl, I started to pack a lunch. School lunches were way too expensive for how little you got out of it. Yeah, I'm a thrifty guy. Some would call it cheap, but I really couldn't care less. Besides, I didn't like eating in front of people.

A sandwich and a can of cheap soda. That was good enough. I put it in a bag and finished my cereal. I looked at the clock and realized it was 8:30. School started at 9, so I had five minutes before I had to leave for school; five minutes before Deidara and Sasori were to arrive.
I sat down on the couch to relax, inspecting the ceiling. I was halfway done with senior year. Only one semester to go, then I was out of there. It was beautiful; I could finally work full time and make some more money.

Right smack in the middle of my glamorous day dreams I heard the car pull up into my street. I stood up, grabbed my lunch and headed out the door. Keeping Sasori waiting was probably not something I would ever do again. I'd never forgive him for making me walk to school that day in December in my freshman year… I got in the back seat and spread out.

Sasori's parents were pretty well off, and this was a damn sexy, silver car. I wasn't sure about the make or model, I'm not that into cars. However, I did know it was a recent year, and to give your son a new sports car, simply on a whim like they did, well… Deidara was about the same wealth wise, but obviously disliked driving. He had his own car, but he never drove it.

With a huge wad of gum in his mouth, so much so that it almost fell out past his lips while he was talking, the blond looked at me and asked me, "How you doing this morning, un?" The wad of gum was not at all as big as his hair, though. The first time I ever saw him, I thought Deidara was a female. Of course, that wasn't surprising considering his ponytail and painted fingernails.

I grunted in response. "I'm not exactly excited to be going back."

Sasori looked up in the rear view mirror at me. "You've been working all break, haven't you?"

"Of course." Not only did I have an entire apartment to maintain, but I loved the extra spending money. However, it was all saved up and I would never spend it. Though, I had to admit, calling it "spending money" did have a certain ring to it.

"You need to get laaiid, hn." Deidara whined. He curled up in the front seat. I always figured he and Sasori were going out. It was never my business, though they were always together.

I kicked him through the seat, to which he responded by turning around and glaring at me.

I made a small motion of glaring back. "Un! Your eyes are scary Kakuzu!" He sat back down.

A worried looking Sasori looked at his shotgun passenger. "Deidara!"

A whine escaped the blond's mouth, followed quickly by, "But he IS scary, hn!"

"You're going to upset him, Dei." Sasori turned back to the road, turning onto the school's street.

"I don't see what the big deal is." I mumbled. Deidara peeked over top of the seat and playfully spit his tongue out at me. I smiled from under my mask. In truth, it was a little upsetting to hear him call me scary; I was pretty self-conscious about my appearance. I could hide my body and face, but my eyes would have to stay out. I needed to see after all. It was nice to know he accepted me though.

Then again, Deidara looked like a chick. He should keep his mouth shut.

Sasori parked in his usual spot, under an old oak tree in the eastern side. He took out the keys and put them in his pocket, stood up, grabbed his school bag and headed out. Deidara was by his side within seconds. I followed the two, who tended to walk side by side, almost brushing their shoulders against each other. It was disgusting. I headed to my locker on the other end of the hall while they headed straight for class.
I put my lunch on the top shelf and grabbed my first three books, then followed Sasori and Deidara into the classroom. I sat in the back.

Sasori sat more toward the middle of the room on the right hand side. Deidara sat in front of him, but was currently turned around, talking to him quietly.

Eventually the class started to fill up. Itachi, who was without Kisame today, came and sat next to me instead. "Good morning."

"Hm."

He pulled out a notebook and started the header. It seemed somewhat odd that the kid at the top of the class, without even trying, would bother to take notes, but what he did was his business. Though the weirdest thing about him, overall, was those damn pictures he had on his binder. Pictures of him and his little brother. It was weird.

Class was about to start, but there was no sign of the teacher. How annoying. Even Deidara, who usually had a hundred things to say, was relatively quiet.

The teacher walked in, smiling happily. "Good morning, class! Before we get started, we have a special announcement!" She seemed ridiculously cheerful for just having come back from vacation. "I'd like to introduce your new classmate!"

The already open door was being passed through. I looked over to the door, curious, but relaxed and somewhat indifferent.

That's when it happened. She walked in, stepping as gracefully as anyone I'd ever seen. Her skin was perfect, snow white and smooth; I allowed my eyes to trail up her legs to the bottom of her skirt. The rest was left to imagination. I trailed up more, expecting to find a flaw. A creature with a body this beautiful must have something wrong. There was no way anyone could be this appealing; yet, as my eyes continued, so did the beauty. The facial structure was perfect, eyes glittered with pink and purple; and then there was her beautiful, perfectly placed, platinum blond hair. She was like a porcelain doll, dressed and groomed to perfection by handicrafts men who spent months, even years, creating the perfect specimen. She was beautiful. She was perfect. She was... a boy.

"Hello everyone! My name is Hidan. Please take care of me!" He even bowed like a girl.

I looked around the room quickly to get every one's reactions, wondering if any of them were disturbed. Deidara had a darkened expression. It was like his arch-rival just walked in the room and attempted to steal his best friend, or maybe boyfriend in his case, away. Sasori looked bored as ever. Itachi looked disinterested. Was I the only person to realize just how beautiful he was?

Of course, it's not as if I expected anything to come out of it. After all, I was a rag-doll. A cheap rag-doll given to a poor girl for Christmas one year. Hidan, well... He was a porcelain doll passed down from generations given to someone for no special reason. Set up and admired. It was just not meant to be.

While the teacher was assigning him a seat and partner for the day, I was busy fantasizing about what I would do to him, given a bed. Yeah, it didn't bother me that he was a guy. I mean, who would it bother? He was absolutely gorgeous either way. He was seated next to Deidara, who was assigned with showing him around campus. Lucky bastard.

As class went on, the teacher asked for everyone's opinion on the subject at hand. The culture festival was fast approaching and we needed to work as a class to find something to do. The class president, Pain, was at the board ready to take down ideas. His secretary, Konan, was standing by ready to pass out paper.

"If anyone has any ideas, and wishes to remain anonymous, please write your idea on this sheet of paper, and place it in the box."

The teacher butted in, "Everybody write down something! Then we'll take the best ideas and have a class vote!"

Hidan raised his hand and I accepted Konan's paper before looking over at him.

"I propose a battle! To the death!", immediately a number of gasps erupted in the room.

He was an idiot. I guess that might have been his flaw. I guess physical perfection was enough in this world. He could carry on through life being blissfully ignorant if he wanted to. I still wanted to drown him in my seme- no. I shouldn't think that.

The votes were in, and it seemed our final culture festival ever would be the opening act of the room next door's play. Perfect, I would help do scenery and that would be the end of it.

Of course, the dumb as a doorknob, but beautiful, albino had to put his two cents into it. He spent far too much money already.

"Well, if I can't have the fuckin' battle, I wanna at least be in the play. Seriously!"

The worthless teacher could have, at the very least, told Hidan to watch his language, but that didn't seem to be important.

"Alright then, we'll decide on a play and stick to it." She went over to the back of the room and pulled all her plays out and carried them to the front.

"We could do Macbeth, Romeo and Juliet... how about Antigone?" Only a literature teacher would come up with those choices.

"Snow White!" Hidan shouted, slamming his hands on the desk and standing up. Of course he was going to want to be Snow White. That much was obvious. However, the class was to decide, so it was out of his hands either way.

When it was all said and done, it turned out we wouldn't be performing a play at all. We were going to run the cafe. That was fine with me as we would make profits off it and everything.

Deidara and Sasori were to make posters and signs; an easy task for the two best art students in the class.

The girls were to waitress, and the boys were to run the cash register and serve. We were to hand select the cooks.

Hidan was pouting. "Can I be a waitress too?"

I was honestly hoping they'd say "sure." I wanted to see him in a shorter skirt.

My wish was granted. It was probably best for everyone because apparently Hidan was spoiled enough to keep complaining until he got what he wanted.

Lunch period came and I went to my locker to get mine. I came back with it and sat down next to Sasori, who was slowly eating a yogurt and reading a book. Deidara had taken Hidan to the cafeteria.

"Sasori." I opened my soda with a clank.

"Yes?" He didn't look at me. He was busy reading a new manual on how to make puppets, just to pick up new tips, though he had already perfected his art, Sasori liked the stupid wood on string concept for some reason. Whatever.

"Are you and Deidara going out?"

This made him look at me. Eyes over his book. Eye filled with fire, and I was only fanning the flames. "Yes, we've been going out since eighth grade. Does this bother you?"

"No." I unwrapped my sandwich, "I just wondered."

I lifted my face mask up slightly and took a bite out of my sandwich. He watched me eat for a moment. "You could just take it off, Kakuzu-san. No one would say anything."

"It's not that I think they would. I don't like them and I don't want people seeing them. That's final."

He nodded. He knew what was under the mask of course. I'd known him for so long it seemed difficult for him not to know.
Hidan and Deidara came back. I looked at them and choked on my sandwich. Deidara was wearing a girl's uniform too!

I was about ready to pull out the school's rule book and find the dress code. Of course, because there was a standard uniform it didn't seem likely they would have a set dress code. Yet there had to be a rule about genders wearing the opposite uniform.

Sasori looked over at the doorway and raised an eyebrow. Deidara and Hidan came over and sat with us. "Kakuzu! are you dying?" The blond shouted.

I glared at him again, causing him to back off immediately. Hidan took a seat, carrying one of the school's lunches in both hands. He opened it up and started eating without looking at Sasori or me. I looked at the price tag. The jackass paid a whole $3.75 for a boxed lunch.

I couldn't help but let my eyes trail down his chest. He was wearing a necklace. The pendant was a circle with an upside down triangle in the center. It seemed like a religious symbol. We went over some religions back in ninth grade or so, but I couldn't remember this particular one.

"Do I look cute, Sasori-chan?"

The redhead smiled and tilted his head to the side. "Very cute, Dara-chan."

Gag.

Hidan looked over at Sasori, apparently giving him a once over. He didn't seem interested. In fact, he looked pretty bored. I supposed it was because he wasn't talking.

Lunch passed by without much conversation on mine or Sasori's part. Hidan and Deidara seemed to want to talk though, they spent the whole lunch period talking about Hidan's past.

"The teacher is late again." Sasori stated looking at his watch. He hated when people were late and never failed to remind me often.
When she walked in, Hidan surprised me by collecting the garbage from our four-desk-made table and throwing it out. I didn't think he was the type to do something like that for someone else. He was… thoughtful.

I went back to my desk and Itachi handed me a folded up note. I pocketed it, and listened to the lesson of the day. Due to Kisame's absence, I knew what the note was about.

During break, Itachi looked at me, stood, and walked out of the classroom. I waited for a brief time before standing up myself and following him. I walked into the men's room, where I knew he'd be, and saw him standing there, combing his too long hair.

Not many people knew about Itachi's over-active sex drive. I had just managed to walk in on him and Kisame once; it was rather embarrassing to all three of us. I simply closed the door and went to the other bathroom that time, but there was no way I could un-see it.

One day, Itachi handed me a note with something along the lines of, "bathroom." scrawled on it. That wasn't the only thing written, but that was the gist.

So on special occasions, the days Kisame was out "sick", I would meet Itachi in the bathroom, just like today. I walked over to one of the stalls, and he walked in in-front of me. He dropped his pants, and I unzipped mine. I left the door unlocked for my own personal excitement.
He handed me a condom over his shoulder. I stared at it a moment, despising it.

"Kisame would be mad if he knew." Itachi shrugged and bent over, leaning on the toilet seat. I grunted and put it on, hoping it would break, and the whole concept would be a waste.

"Want me to change things up for you?"

"Hm?"

"Don't play dumb, I saw you eyeing up that albino kid."

"Is that so?" I looked around, considering it. "Fine. Make your magic happen."

"Alright." Itachi locked eyes with me, and all of a sudden, there he was. My perfect little porcelain angel was right there in front of me. He giggled and winked at me, like I knew he would.

So I shoved him down, forcefully, and entered him a little bit too hard. Itachi undid his genjutsu, and started bitching about it, but I ignored him. I didn't really care about Itachi's pleasure. He liked it far too light for my tastes.

After about ten minutes, Itachi was already done. I needed a bit more time, so I flipped him and sat him down, yanking the rubber off my skin and shoving myself inside his mouth.

He grunted and pulled out the usual fifty-dollar bill. I didn't come cheap, after all. If I couldn't get what I really wanted from him, I wasn't doing it for free. That was the agreement.

When we were done we went back to class. It had already started, and people were staring, but what Itachi and I did was our business. No one seemed to notice, but Itachi seemed to notice Hidan. I looked away quickly.

After school, Sasori, Deidara, and I headed out to Sasori's car. Hidan was quite a ways in front of us, standing outside, leaning against the wall. One of his legs was bent showing me more skin, reminding me just how fuckable he was.

"Need a ride, Hidan? I'd be happy to drive you." Sasori said, calm as ever.

"No, I'm waiting for my driver."

Driver? What the hell? Just how rich was this kid?

My question was answered when a white, stretch limousine pulled up. The driver got out to open the door. Hidan walked over, spun around to wink and wave at us, and then got in his car. I think I was the only one out of all four of us to realize his skirt lifted up just ever so slightly as he spun. I figured I should carry my books over my lap for a while.

I dreamt of the idiot that night.

We all worked hard preparing for the culture festival. Well, by all, I mean most of us. Hidan was finding something wrong with each waitress outfit the girls had thought up. They had to think of something quickly as there was only one week until the festival. They thought of just wearing their school uniforms, but Hidan argued. It didn't surprise me that he would argue against whatever they came up with. He was noisy and unwilling to compromise. In other words, he was obnoxious.

Sasori had finished the wooden door sign last night and we were painting it together. Deidara was working on the posters on Photoshop. Unfortunately, we had to stick to the color theme our class decided on. Also unfortunate for us, the majority of the class members were female so we ended up with brown, green, and... pink.

Every idea the girls thought of was, in Hidan's mindset, horrible. He was starting to annoy me. I didn't know what he was complaining about. If he wanted to dress like a girl, that was his decision, but he could at least try to make himself less noticeable. Less annoying. Less... gorgeous. Damnit.

"If you want to be so damn indecisive, why don't you just go out and buy everyone a uniform?" I shouted in his direction. Stupid rich kids and their annoying attitudes.

"Kakuzu, be careful." Sasori instructed at me. I was angry, and my grip was tightening on the wood sign. I immediately calmed down and continued painting.

I could tell he was staring at me. I did yell at him after all, though I didn't really care. He pulled his phone out, and I glanced over to see it. It caught my eye because it was a baby pink color with charms hanging off it. Why the hell did he want to be a girl anyway?

He dialed a number, and sure enough, went right to ordering some uniforms. This surprised me somehow, and I ended up staring at him, watching him talk on the phone.

I also ended up with a bunch of paint on my lap. Great.

I stood up, making sure not to drip paint all over the floor, and walked into the bathroom. I wasn't sure exactly what I should do so I went up to the sink and got a paper towel. I wet it and started trying to absorb the paint. It was coming out, but not as well as I'd hoped.

That's when he turned the corner and I saw him walk in to the boy's bathroom. He was watching me scrub at my pants. It was awkward, but it had to be done; I wasn't about to get new pants just because I was careless with paint.

"Thank you for the idea." He smiled at me.

"Yeah." I answered, concentrating on scrubbing.

"That was my fault, huh?" He leaned against the wall.

"No one's but my own." I answered and got another paper towel.

"No, I'm the one who was annoying you. Stay here." He left. As if I was going to go anywhere with paint all over my crotch.

I continued scrubbing, and he came back holding a pair of pants out at me.

I looked at him. "I can't accept that. Besides, you should wear them yourself."

"...But this one looks better on me." He said flaring his shirt out. He looked down, a little sad. I turned and looked at him, trying to be stern. I couldn't very well argue with him. He looked amazing. His legs, especially.

"Take them back; it's a waste of money."

He looked up at me and our eyes met. His cheeks turned pink but he refused to turn away. I figured I scared him and he was going to cry.

"Ka...kuzu?"

Yeah, I scared him. I looked back down. There was nothing I could do.

That was that, then. Hidan was frightened by my appearance. I really didn't have a chance with him. Even a quick fuck was out of the question. My life was a tragedy that way, I supposed. I had to admit though, that I had hope.

I felt a bit of weight as something was placed on my shoulder. I looked to see what he was doing, and he reached up and took my face in his hands. We stared at each other for I didn't know how long.

"You have beautiful eyes, Kakuzu." He turned around and left quickly, leaving me standing there, in complete awe.

Beautiful?

I sighed, walked into the bathroom stall, undid my pants and slid them down to my knees. Then I realized something important. I looked at the pants Hidan gave me. They were, somehow, my size.

I shrugged it off as a lucky guess and slid my pants off, replacing them with the new ones. I took my old ones and ran them under the sink, using soap and water to get the rest of the paint out.

Now they were soaking wet, but at least they were clean. I folded them and put them in my locker, forgetting about them for now. I didn't exactly feel like thanking Hidan; I wasn't that type. However, I did feel indebted.

Still though... he called me... "beautiful".

Well no, he didn't. He called my eyes beautiful. They were different, so maybe he was just... I didn't know.

When I got back to the classroom, I saw that Sasori was holding the sign over the fan, trying to get the paint to dry quickly. I walked over to see what was going on. "We changed the color scheme." He explained.

Deidara was over in the corner, mumbling angrily about having to change the colors on his poster.

Hidan changed his mind like the weather, but everyone seemed to go along with it. I sighed and got the new paint ready. The same brown, with dark and light shades of blue.

I painted the letters the light blue shade, and then passed it to Sasori who painted stripes along it. First diagonal going right, then the opposite. The background was still brown. Sasori looked at the sign, thinking it was lacking something. The sign looked fine to me but he knew best.

I wasn't surprised that it looked better after his final touches, a white background for the lettering. Sasori smiled at his work, stood up, and went to check on Deidara, who had finished the poster design and was now working on the menu with the girls.

I found it peculiar that Hidan had nothing to say about the food choices. He was sitting there, calmly and quietly reading a small black book.
I squinted a little, trying to get a better look. Squinting didn't actually help, but I could make it out a little better.

That's when I noticed what Hidan was reading. Jashin's Bible. Was he serious?

I sat there, leaning on my hand and watching Hidan read his book. Discretely, of course. I couldn't have everyone knowing I liked to watch him do simple, everyday activities.

The boys were all grouped in a circle. I heard one of them mention "him" and I knew who "he" was. I turned and looked at the boys, watching as one of them walked over to Hidan, and pulled his book down onto his lap. I watched, interested.

Hidan looked at him, obviously annoyed that someone would interrupt him from reading.

"How would you like to go to 'The Red Dawn' with me?"

Everyone knew what 'The Red Dawn' was. Even me, and I hardly left the house, school, or work. It was a club for 16 to 20 year olds. It played great dancing music, had cheap food, and student discounts. It was perfect.

Of course, I only went once, due to the insistence of Deidara. There were many eyes on me and I didn't exactly appreciate it, so I never bothered to go back.

"I wouldn't, fucker." He picked up his book and walked over to see what the girls were doing, leaving the poor boy stunned. The other males were laughing at him, which made me realize that I didn't even know that boy's name. That was odd, considering we went to elementary school together. Oh well, it was of little importance to me.

Slowly, the classroom was emptying as everyone left two by two. Some where in groups, but it was more often pairs left together. By the time Deidara finished his menu and printed it out to make copies, the four of us, Sasori, Deidara, me and… Hidan, were the last ones in the room.
"We're going to make copies. We'll be back." Sasori seemingly had to go with him. I knew what was going to happen in the copier room.

So I was stuck with Hidan in the classroom. Why couldn't he just call his driver or whatever?

To make matters worse, he walked over to me. "Take off your fuckin' mask." He stated.

I came to realize that he didn't swear out of anger. It was just his normal speaking habit. A true Jashinist.

"No." I told him simply, but he didn't seem to accept that. He flung himself at me, trying to find out for himself what exactly my face looked like. I wasn't about to let him so I grabbed his wrist, holding him about a foot away from my face.

"Stop." I told him. He stopped struggling, but he was still standing there.

"I just want a fucking peek."

I shook my head. It had nothing to do with me liking him. I didn't like him. I simply wanted him in bed. Any normal teenager would want the same.

"I heard you work a lot." He said, seemingly giving up on seeing my face. I held his wrist for just a little while longer, just to be sure.

"You heard right." I replied.

"But you're off today."

"For a week. I have to. I didn't take the holiday break, and my boss doesn't want to get fired because of my want to work."

Stupid child labor laws.

"Go out with me."

"What?" I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. I wasn't sure what was going on.

"You heard me. Fuckin' go out with me."

"Why?" I panicked.

"Because you're hot. I like you."

I was hot? He didn't even know what I looked like. I'm sure if he did he'd be scared out of his mind. He'd never talk to me again; he definitely wouldn't think I was hot.

Sasori and Deidara came back into the room, and the three of them ganged up on me so I accepted his date offer. Not that I felt bad or anything, but Deidara's whines of, "Aw c'mon go out with him, un!" got annoying. No, I'm serious. That was all he was saying. Over and over, just like that. But I should have been happy. Make him happy and he'd sleep with me. Easy.

So we all got into Sasori's car and drove along. We came to my house first and I went in alone to change into something more fitting for a date, a white button-up shirt and some black pants. It was actually my work attire, but Hidan didn't have to know that.

I quickly went into the bathroom to check myself. I didn't know why. I looked the same no matter what. I decided at the last minute to spray myself with some of my father's old cologne. It was older than I was, but it still smelled the same. I walked outside and got back in the car.
Hidan smiled at me, attaching himself to my side. I attempted to shake him off.

"Take the hat off at least." He said, reaching up, as if to do it himself.

"I don't think so." I stated.

He seemed to remember last time and gave up rather quickly. He told Sasori to stop, and the redhead did, but not before staring in awe at the albino's house. It was perfect: The white brick walls surround the fortress were accented by black window ledges, doors and the roof.

"Come in for a minute." He got out of the car, and walked over. Sasori and Deidara followed curiously. I wasn't very impressed but I did feel myself grow a little jealous.

He opened the door. "I'm home!" He took off his shoes. "I brought some friends!"

A woman, who was just as ridiculously good looking as her son, walked over. Hidan definitely inherited all his good looks from his mother. I hadn't even met his father yet and this was obvious.

"Welcome home, everyone!" She was so cheerful. It made me wonder if she also was a Jashinist. I didn't see how it made any sense.

When she got a better look at Sasori and Deidara, she almost squealed in utter delight. "You two are adorable!" She gave them each a little hug.

At that point, I wanted to crawl in a hole and hide. This was bad.

She looked at me. The feeling of wanting to die didn't stop. I wanted to leave. It would be better if she didn't say anything.

"Oh my!" She said looking at me. I tensed up; I couldn't have possibly been more offended.

She somehow got close to me, and reached over to touch my face. "What beautiful eyes you have, dear!"

...What?

This family was insane. There was no other explanation. "Um... thank you."

Hidan ran over to me and grabbed my arm. "I have a date with him tonight!"

His mother seemed a little shocked.

"Is that so, Hidan-kun?" A masculine voice came from the doorway.

Although Hidan's mother was drop-dead gorgeous, Hidan's father wasn't much to look at. He looked rather old, had a horrible limp, and kept a cane at his side. He also had silver hair, but I didn't think that was his natural hair color. I figured it faded due to age. Well, I wasn't sure how old he was, but he had to be over sixty.

Yeah, this family was insane.

"Well now. Come in here and let me meet you, my boy." He made his way back into the room he came from.

Hidan looked at me. "Boy or girl?"

I didn't understand the question.

"No matter! Deidara, help me pick something Kakuzu would like!"

The blonds walked up the stairs, followed by Sasori, who didn't seem to care whether or not he was invited. Knowing him, he was probably only going to get them to hurry. He didn't really seem to care about clothing.

I sighed a little, unnoticeably of course, and followed Hidan's parents into the living room.

I couldn't help but look around at the house. The entryway to the house alone was huge, almost a quarter the size of my apartment. Walking into the living room did nothing to quench my jealousy. A stone fireplace in the middle of the room, keeping the surrounding warm, a huge, flat-screen TV probably 72 inches, a large "L" shaped couch obviously real leather, and some extremely comfortable looking chairs, deep to sit in and material that screamed the word soft. Hung on the wall, aside from the occasional family photo, was a large collection of hunting trophies. It was a little weird, though, to see a few cat statues.

I sat down on the couch, perpendicular to his parents. They looked at each other and then to me. I decided to spare Hidan for now. I would make his parents happy, and they would in turn let it go. At least…I hoped so.

His mother was the ice-breaker. "So, Kakuzu, how did you two meet?"

What a stupid question, "We're in class together."

She smiled. "I hope he behaves himself."

"I suppose he does. Even if he displays a loud, obnoxious attitude, when you get to know him he's quite pleasant. You raised a fine son."

Yes, a little ego inflating did a world of good. That's all it was. Ego inflating.

I expected his father to ask me what my intentions were. I feared it. I didn't have an answer, except to say, 'I desire more than anything to sleep with him, and get some money out of the deal.' That wouldn't blow over well at all.

Lucky for me, he avoided the question and instead said, "Tell me about yourself, boy." He was rubbing his chin with this pointer finger and thumb, which I found to be a little bit annoying. But hell, according to his house, he had enough money to get someone to do it for him, so what could I do about it?

"Well, I work as a security guard at the bank." I paused. "I have a 3.7 grade point average. I enjoy reading, coffee, and well... chess." I couldn't tell them about my obsession with money.

His mother seemed a little bit shocked. I bet she was wondering what the hell Hidan would want with me. That made two of us.

His father, on the other hand, seemed impressed or something. "Those are very mature interests for a boy your age."

Were they?

I heard voices coming down the stairs to save me. Of course, Hidan's voice was never quiet.

When the three of them walked into the room, I saw Sasori and Deidara had changed clothes as well. Sasori was now wearing a red button up shirt that went well with his eyes and hair. I couldn't help thinking it would look better on Hidan.

Deidara was wearing a short summer dress, so short he had shorts on under it. Actually, it might have been a shirt. I don't know anything about clothes. It was cute, but I thought he was nuts wearing summer clothes in early January. His hair was done up with a flower pin.

Hidan, however, was wearing a long sleeved dress shirt. It was light blue, which I'd never pictured on him, not that I pictured different outfits on him or something. What are you, nuts? But yeah, and his dress shirt was covered by a dark-blue sweater vest of all things. There was a matching tie around his neck, but only the tied part was exposed. The rest was hidden underneath his vest. He was wearing black dress pants and matching shoes. In short, it was hot. Hell, he even combed his hair back, with that Italian mafia look. It was the first time I ever saw him in men's clothing.

I found it criminal. How the hell could he be hotter with more clothes on?

I hope you enjoyed reading that and continue to enjoy the story line.
Also, I apologize for anyone who received a notice of a new chapter in this story. I just wanted to clean up the chapters that I had on here already. I added a touch of bonus material, though, so if you want to re-read, go ahead and do so. I love you guys!