The sounds and smells of cooking filled the apartment. Boiling water spluttered and splashed as hot dogs fell haphazardly into the pot. The arrival of macaroni and cheese was heralded by the beep of a microwave. Alyssa scurried around the kitchen's dinning table placing glasses and utensils.

"You know, Alyssa. We don't really need the knives and spoons," Kaidan suggested.

"This is how mother taught me to set a proper table," Alyssa insisted.

"Okay. Alright," Kaidan surrendered. He liked to roll up the peanut butter pouch from his MREs like a tube of toothpaste and squirt the whole thing into his mouth. Who was he to challenge his niece on proper dinning room etiquette?

Alyssa returned to her task, carefully setting each utensil in its proper place, adjusting each until it was just so. When she had finished, she paused for a moment, admiring her work. Once satisfied that her setup was adequate she turned to the kitchen. Curiosity and a brash spirit had finally gotten the better of her.

"Commander Shepard?" The girl ventured.

"Hmm...?"

"What's it like to be dead?"

Shepard started as if the girl had pulled a weapon on her. With her brain frozen from shock and unable to form a cogent response, her hand apparently decided it needed to create an adequate diversion to spare Shepard from answering a difficult question. It did so by slamming into the handle of the pot of boiling dogs and scalding itself. Noble and faithful hand, it meant well. She grimaced at the pain but said nothing.

Per chance I should stay out on the battlefield, where it's safe.

So caught up in trying to come up with a response, or avoiding one through self-inflicted bodily harm, she hadn't noticed Alyssa as she quickly began reciting exactly how Kaidan should be treating a superficial burn, probably something she learned at school or in an extra-curricular. Not wanting to discourage the girl, but needing her out of the way so he could look at Shepard's hand, Kaidan gave her something helpful to preoccupy herself with.

"Very good, Alyssa. Go grab my medkit. It's in my seabag in the guest room."

"Okay, Uncle Kaidan."

Shepard laughed.

"Is there something funny about the fact that we can't seem to make a simple dinner without casualties" Kaidan said with an arched eyebrow as he gently took her arm between his hands, careful not to disturb the injury.

"I was just amused that you brought your medkit with you."

"I always have it, Shepard. You know, sometimes people get hurt and it has nothing to do with combat."

"And you want to be able to help them." Shepard smiled. "You're a good man, you know that?" Shepard turned away but Kaidan didn't relinquish her arm.

"You say that like it's a bad thing."

"It is a bad thing for me, Kaidan, " She clumsily tripped over the words. "I...I lost you."

"Shepard..."

"I've got your med bag, Uncle Kaidan!"

"Thanks, Alyssa. Would you mind mopping up in here while I treat the commander's injuries?"

"No, Uncle Kaidan."

Shepard watched as the girl bounded off to complete her uncle's task. "Wow. She get's very formal under pressure."

"I could think of worse coping mechanisms," Kaidan said as he lead her to the living room. Skilled hands immediately found the medi-gel they were looking for and deftly attended to Shepard's wounds. "It's been awhile since I've had to do this," he said looking up at her with a half smile.

Shepard didn't say anything. Between them, her hand was healing abnormally fast, so fast that it stole Kaidan's attention from his attempt to cheer his former CO. The process moved so quickly it resembled the stop motion photography from science vids Kaidan was forced to endure throughout his medical training. Shepard continued to stare at the limb as if it were something foreign, alien, disconnected. "These days I'm far less reliant on medics."

Kaidan stared at the nearly healed hand. "I can see that."

"I wasn't prepared for the question," Shepard said, eyes till intent on her hand.

"I'm sorry, Shepard. She didn't mean any harm..."

Shepard finally dropped the limb and looked Kaidan in the eye. "Tali asked me the same thing."

"Hmmm?"

"When we found her father's body, she found me in the mess that night. I knew what she was going to ask. I knew the comfort she was looking for."

"What did you tell her?"

"What could I tell her Kaidan? That even though I should be the one person able to tell her what had become of her father, that I didn't? That I couldn't tell if my memories were from just before I died? After? When I was in a coma on a Cerberus space station? I... I just walked away."

"She probably understood, Shepard."

"She was looking for help and I just walked away. I never walk away. I don't even walk away when I should. I don't even walk away from people who don't deserve my help."

"After all the Alliance and the Council has put you through, I guess we really don't," Kaidan responded looking shamefully down and away from Shepard.

"That's not what I meant, Kaidan."

"No," he looked back to her with remorseful brown eyes, "but I needed to apolagize at some point, if I was ever going to have another chance... If I was ever going to fix..." his hands gestured vaguely between himself and Shepard.

Shepard gave him a small smile, though despite how badly she had wanted to hear he was still interested in her, it was without mirth. She placed a hand on his shoulder, implicitly communicating to him that she understood so that he didn't have to continue the pittifully painfull and awkward sentence.

"Honestly, as much as Horizon hurt me, that's been the least troubling thing on my mind." She turned away from him. "This whole...resurection. I don't know what I am, who I am, how much of me is technology, or if I'm still the same person. Did I have a soul? Is it gone? Moved on to some other realm? Am I a completely different being? Should the I even be here? Kaidan, I don't think I'm supposed to be here," she said turning to face him, her eyes gleaming with the tears she fiercely struggled to keep from falling.

Kaidan contemplated what she said for a quiet moment. "No. You don't." With that he gathered her into his arms and held her tight. "You belong here."

It was last drop of rain the dam could hold. Shepard collapsed into his solid frame and wept. There were no words, no easy explanations, no halcyon that could make things right. Internally he raged at his impotence. But for Shepard's sake he simply held her fast, hand wound tightly in her hair, as if he were afraid that if he loosened his hold she would vanish. It would not have been the first time he awoke clutching a pillow in the shape of a ghost.

At last words came to him. He exhaled them softly, without even realizing he was saying them. "Shhhh...you're supposed to be here. You're supposed to be right here."

"How can you know that?" she cried into his chest.

"Some things you just know, Shepard," he said after kissing her forehead.

Having finally cried herself out, she pulled away to look him in the eye and sniffed.

"Even if I'm a cyborg zombie?"

Kaidan chuckled. "Especially, if you're a cyborg zombie," he said brushing an errant strand of hair from her face. "Now, I can hack into that dark brooding head of yours and see what you're thinking all the time."

Shepard punched him in the shoulder.

"Ouch, watch it," He feigned pain, rubbing the offended apendage. "We're not all cyborgs."

Shepared glared at them, but her eyes could contain no real malice.

"What? You're a very cute cyborg zombie. We could get you all kinds of useful attachments for around the ship. Flash lights and hex tools..."

"Oh," Shepard's eyes widened as if she'd had some great epiphany, "and a magnet for when we lose tools behind consoles and furniture."

They continued a playful banter until her tears were dried and everyone's mood was elevated. Jokes didn't make anything go away. They still had problems, very big and complicated problems which humor did little to mitigate. But maybe, just maybe, if enough laughter filled the room it would crowd out the white elephants for a time, and the obnoxious pachyderms would leave them be for a little while. And they could both just... be.

From the kitchen, Alyssa watched in disgust as two adults in the room seemed perfectly content to let her starve tonght.

"Ehem," she made her presence known. "I would like to eat before my bed time."

Both Shepard and Kaidan affected perfect impersonations of deer startled in headlights.

"We could at least have the macaroni," Alyssa said, sounding exasperated.

Kaidan smiled. "Yes, yes we could. How about we forgo the table tonight, Alyssa, eat dinner on the couch in front of some comedy vids? I'll let you stay up past your bedtime to finish the program."

Alyssa considered his offer wearily. Junk food, hooky, and breaking her curfew all in one day seemed a little too good to be true, but it was also an offer too good to pass up.

"Really?" She asked incredulously.

"Really. Just don't tell your parents, all right?"

"Deal."

And with that the trio settled on the couch with bowls of comfort food in front of inane yet entertaining vids. Kaidan smiled as he realized halfway through the vid that both the women of the room had fallen asleep. Alyssa had curled up in a ball on the arm rest exhausted from the day's events, and Shepard, finally succumbing to jet lag, had nestled in the crook of his arm.

This, was a diorama of the life he'd dreamed of. This was a simple life, a good life.

This, was worth fighting for.