Bad Words

Ezio wanted to kill himself right now. Why? Well he was carrying a bowl of icecream inside to the living room to enjoy but tripped over his own feet. Right before he fell he screamed out:

"Cazzo!"

Usually this would be no big deal for him, he has said the word a number of times but now he had tainted the ears of a child who was now repeating the word over and over.

"Amico mio please do not say that word! It is very bad!" Ezio explained to the boy who only tilted his head and frowned.

"Why?"

"Because it's bad."

"Why?"

"Because you should not say it."

"Why?"

"Because...it's just bad."

"Why?"

Ezio grew very annoyed not knowing what else to do so he blurted out the first thing that popped into his head.

"If you say it a puppy dies!"

Dead silence engulfed the room. Ezio paled when he saw Alfeir's face twist into a frown his lip start to tremble.

"I'm a puppy killer?" he whimpered out looking up at Ezio with tear filled eyes. Then the 5 year old started to cry loudly. Ezio tried to comfort him but failed.

"Ezio?" Leonardo entered the room upon hearing the crying "Whats wrong?" before he could answer Alfeir had run to Leonardo and wrapped his arms around his legs.

"LEO!" he sobbed his nose began to run his cheeks turning red. "I'M A PUPPY KILLER!" the painter frowned kneeling down picking up the hysterical child.

"Sweet one who told you such things?" he asked wiping Alfeir's tears the best he could Ezio.
"Ezio said if I said this word a puppy died." Leonardo looked at Ezio angrily making the assassin flinch.

"Ezio how could you even say such a thing to him?"

"Leonar-"

"What made you think telling him that would not make him upset?"

"But amore I was jus-"

"NO Ezio! I want you to think about this. Tonight Alfeir will be sleeping in our room while you sleep on the couch!"

"Leonardo!"

The angered artist was already gone carrying Alfeir upstairs leaving a very depressed Ezio.

Sighing he went back into the kitchen and fell and slipped on the melted icecream that was still on the floor.

"CAZZO!"

Mama Bird

In the early hours of the morning when the sun barley was giving any light Alfeir awoke with his usual amount of energy.

Like a big boy he washed and dressed himself and trotted downstairs to find no one there. He quickly ran back up to the second floor to find everyone still in bed.

Deciding there was nothing to do inside he tried to go out but all the doors were locked. Pouting he searched for another exit and found it in the kitchen.

The tiny window over the sink was open. With all his strength he climbed atop the counter stepped into the sink and squeezed through the window falling into the bushes below.

Proud of himself he began to run around the yard staying away from the pool knowing Malik and Leo would be angry if he went near it. He walked up to one of the trees in the yard.

He smiled knowing he could easily scale it from his experience and jumped on one of the low branches. He scurried up to the higher ones when he came upon a bird's nest with two baby birds in it.
"Aww your so cute! I'll call you Chirpie and...Birdie!" he said wanting to pet them but stopped hearing a shriek. He looked up to see a larger bird swoop down upon him.

"No Mama Bird I wasn't gunna hurt them!"

He covered his face and tried to dodge the angry animal to only slip and fall to the ground with a thump. Yet Mama Bird wanted to make sure he would never return and once again dove at him.

Alfeir screamed loudly and began to run around in circles covering his head. He sprinted to the open window and grapped onto the sill pulling himself through it to only fall onto the floor of the kitchen.

A few hours later Desmond came downstairs to find Alfeir watching tv.

"Hey Alf how's your morning been?"

The boy stared at him with wide eyes.

"Mama Bird is scary." was all he said then he turned back to the tv ignoring a confused Desmond.

How Many Assassins Does It Take...

In the middle of reading the lamp's lightbulb had died. Not knowing what to do Malik went in search of Leonardo since both Desmond and Shaun were out.

Leonardo had no clue. He commented on the lamp's shape and coloring instead. So they sought out Ezio.

Ezio knew that they needed a new lightbulb so he found on in the lining closet. Yet he had no clue how to put it in.

So they asked Altair, who was able to yank the old lightbulb out of the lamp's socket and then continued to try and jam the new on in.

The 4 men became frustrated at one another trying to figure out the device and began to argue. They did not notice Alfeir walk into the room awaking from his nap.

He trotted over taking the lightbulb from Altair and screwing it into the lamp then turned it on. The adults jaws were slacked open. Alfeir simply giggled then left to go up to his room to play.

How many Assassins does it take to change a lightbulb?
None.

Because they had a 5 year old do it for them.

When Desmond and Shaun did arrive home they found the 4 bewildered men sitting around the lamp studying it.

ACACACAC

So these drabbles were written from sheer boredom in DA notes so I finally found use of them.