My attempt to study for finals was a fail, so I wrote this (which hopefully won't be as big as a fail as my inclination to study). Yes, the idea for a series of Mai-Hime oneshots is entirely my own…no, just kidding...Okay then…off you go.

Warning: A.U, come and read this!..haha, bad pun on my part. Anyways, this includes topics of utter randomness, OOC-ness, AU-ness, etc., etc. It will (hopefully) expand to include a multitude of pairings, so these oneshots will have whatever floats everyone's boat! Yay. (Unless you're asexual, which is fine.)
Disclaimer: Eh, not mine, but I'm not too choked up about that. It'd be a hassle for me to own the show, since I'd have to draw and stuff, which I'm too lazy to do.

1. Rodeo Rider [ShizNat]

The cheers of the crowd outside were deafening. Natsuki huffed and adjusted her worn cowboy hat to cover her eyes. Her turn was coming up soon, and she wanted finish her short nap beforehand, goddamnit!

She heard the tent flaps open. Her ears perked up at a familiar drawl. "Wake up Natsuki, you're up soon."

Natsuki adjusted the brim of her hat to peer at the intruder. "That was fast. Who just went?"

Mai sniggered. "That rookie, Takeda. He wasn't even in the arena for two seconds before the bull threw him off."

"Haha, no kidding? He'd be better off as a rodeo clown, if he likes being chased by bulls so much."

Mai nodded. "Yep, that's what Midori thought too. She's putting him under Nao's tutelage for the next rodeo."

"Ooh, that spider's gonna have him by the balls."

"I know, I can't wait to see it."

Natsuki sat up and pulled on her cowboy boots. "Well, let's get going then."

Strapping on her pistol holsters, Natsuki stepped out into the bright sunshine. The dust of the arena hung thickly in the air, and the cheers and groans of the crowd assaulted her eardrums.

The excited voice of the announcer resounded through the air. "Oh, look at that skill! This is Chrysant's first time in the arena, ladies and gentlemen, and yet she is holding onto that bull like no other!"

Amidst the cheers, Mai pointed towards where a redheaded woman was standing. "There's where you need to go. Good luck Natsuki!"

Natsuki yawned in response and loped on over to the pens. The redhead looked up at Natsuki's presence. "Well, if it isn't Coyote Ugly."

Natsuki growled. "Shut up, Nao. I told you not to call me that!"

Nao laughed. "What, you like being called 'Sticky Fingers' better?"

"No, coming from you, that sounds almost like an obscenity."

"Hey, I don't come up with the nicknames, Kruger. Blame the announcer!"

Natsuki glared. "No, he calls me 'The Lone Ranger'; you're the one who comes up with these ridiculous terms! What's Sticky Fingers supposed to refer to anyways, the fact that I can stay in the saddle for more than eight seconds?"

Nao cackled. "Actually, 'Sticky Fingers' is what the second-to-last girl you bedded called you. I overheard her bragging about it to her friends."

Natsuki's face immediately flushed redder than Nao's hair. "J-J-just keep your mouth shut, Nao, before I shut it for you!"

"Whatever you say, 'Sticky Fingers'."

The timely arrival of another person stopped what would undoubtedly have been another fistfight between Nao and Natsuki. "Hey Natsuki, I have the roster. You're next in the lineup."

Natsuki took the list. "Thanks, Chie. Which bull is mine?"

Chie winced. "Uh…you have 'El Diablo' in enclosure 9."

"...WHAAT?"

Chie looked immediately contrite. "Looks like The Lone Ranger finally ran into some bad luck."

Nao cackled. "Hey Kruger, can I have all your stuff when El Diablo gores you to death?"

"Screw you, spider."

Chie tried to console Natsuki. "You can handle that…monstrosity, Natsuki. You've been the best bull rider in the league for the past two years!"

"Yeah, but I never had to ride the devil himself. El Diablo is notorious for putting fifteen riders out of commission. FIFTEEN!"

Nao scoffed. "Don't worry, Kruger, I'm your rodeo clown. I'll be there to distract it after you bite the dust."

Natsuki sighed and adjusted her hat. "Alright, but if you let me die, I'm gonna be really pissed."

The announcer's voice rang through the arena. "And next up is THE ONE, THE ONLY…NATSUKI KRUGERRR!" The noise from the crowd suddenly doubled in intensity.

Natsuki made her way to enclosure 9, and gulped as she regarded the behemoth before her. It was nearly triple her size! The enormous bull turned its head and glared at her with one eye. Natsuki shrugged and adjusted her chaps. Might as well get this over with.

Scrambling onto the fence, Natsuki vaulted onto the bull's back and wound the rope around her right hand several times. The bull snorted threateningly.

Natsuki was vaguely aware of the announcer going on about her many accomplishments in the arena, but it died down to a low buzz in her ears. She was only aware of the tight grip she had on the rope, which was the only thing connecting her to the bull's back, and the tangible anger of the animal underneath her. Taking in a deep breath, Natsuki adjusted her hat and gave a nod. The gate swung open.

Natsuki gritted her teeth as the world shook around her; El Diablo truly lived up to his name. She desperately counted the seconds in her head. One, two, three, fou—wait, why did the rope around her hand seem so loose?

Natsuki glanced down at her right hand. Her eyes widened in horror. The rope that was attached to the bull was frayed, and it was unraveling before her very eyes. Hoshit.

With one last buck, El Diablo managed to throw Natsuki off. People in the arena's bleachers screamed as Natsuki landed with a spectacular crunch, right in front of the bull.

Natsuki grabbed her left arm in pain and sat up with a groan. What she saw made her want to lay back down and pretend all was right in the world, since that was better than looking at a very angry bull that was about to charge her head-on.

Nao was panicking. She was doing everything in her power to distract the bull, from catcalls to waving a flag to pelting it with pebbles, and it still wouldn't take its attention off of Natsuki. "And Kruger! That idiot, why the hell is she just lying there? Dammit, RUN, NATSUKI, RUN!"

Natsuki jolted out of her reverie. Oh, I really should. Natsuki scrambled to her feet. El Diablo decided that this was the perfect time to charge.

Natsuki quickly picked up her hat and jammed it on her head. No matter what, she would not leave behind the last gift she had received from her father. Time to get outta here. Why isn't that spider doing her job?

Meanwhile, the announcer was whipping the crowd into a frenzy. He wailed, "IS THIS THE END OF THE LONE RANGER?", as nearly all the women (and half the men) in the crowd began to sob.

Natsuki wanted to take her pistols out and shoot the announcer, but decided to do it later, as there was 1,600-pound bull chasing her. "Nao, do your job and get me out of this mess!"

Nao let out a piercing whistle and turned the bull's attention towards herself. "C'mon you walking steak, come at me!" The bull willingly obliged, and Natsuki let out a sigh of relief. Nao vaulted over the fence just as El Diablo crashed into where she had been standing. Natsuki was halfway over the fence on the other side of the arena, when a gust of wind blew her hat off her head…and placed it in the middle of the arena.

Natsuki jerked her head around in surprise. "You have got to be kidding me." She jumped off and ran for her hat.

The announcer was nearly having a seizure. "WHAT BRAVERY! THE LONE RANGER ISN'T AFRAID TO FACE THE DEVIL HIMSELF TO GET HER HAT BACK!"

Natsuki barked, "Shut up!" And immediately regretted it when El Diablo turned around at her shout. Me and my big mouth.

The bull rushed at her. Natsuki scooped up her hat and jumped aside just in time, as El Diablo's horns swiped at the area where she had been standing just half-a-second ago. The bull snorted and swiped his horns again, forcing Natsuki to fall onto her back in order to prevent her stomach from being slashed. I like my intestines right where they are, thank you very much.

Natsuki raised her upper body and looked into the gleaming, maddened eyes of the bull. This is it! Goodbye, cruel world; at least I got my hat! Natsuki squeezed her eyes shut and jammed her hat onto her head in what would be her final earthly act.

A light weight encircled Natsuki's upper body. Are these angel arms waiting to carry me away?

Close enough. Natsuki let out a shout as she was suddenly dragged backwards with extreme force. Her eyes opened in shock. She was being dragged across the arena floor, away from the bull, by someone's lasso. Natsuki thanked her lucky stars that her chaps covered her derriere, since Nao would never let her live it down if she had friction burns on her ass.

Whoever had lassoed Natsuki reined in their horse a good distance away from El Diablo, who was being surrounded and tranquilized by at least ten other cowboys. Natsuki skidded to a stop and let her back fall to the ground with a thump, giddy with relief. Yay, I lived! With my hat, too!

The jangle of spurs caught her attention, and Natsuki rolled her eyes so that she could see her savior, albeit upside-down. Her eyes traveled up a pair of worn, beige cowboy boots and an equally worn pair of jeans. She couldn't see past the lavender flannel shirt her savior was wearing, due to the sun that was shining in her eyes, but it was obviously a woman.

Her rescuer finally squatted next to Natsuki's head, and Natsuki's eyes connected with a pair of shockingly red ones. Honey-brown hair tickled the side of Natsuki's face as the person lowered her face to hover about a foot away from Natsuki's face. Natsuki was nearly blinded by the whiteness of the other person's smile. "Ara, I hope I did not hurt the famed 'Lone Ranger' too much?"

Natsuki blinked at the sight of the legendary rider famed for her skill with a rope, the crowd-proclaimed "rodeo princess", the first and only rodeo rider ever to come in first in both a "Most Daring Rodeo Rider" contest and a "Miss America" contest, the one and only…Shizuru Viola.

My first one-shot's about a rodeo, 'cause we all know how every red-blooded, patriotic American citizen loves a good rodeo show.
…No, just kidding, I'm from New York. The closest I've been to a rodeo is the Rodeo Bar on E 27th street. However, I did get the inspiration from seeing the American version of Mai-Hime and nearly dying of laughter at Shizuru's southern accent. (It would've been cuter if she sounded more like a gentile Southern belle, but they made her sound like a pig farmer's wife or something, no offense to you pig farmers out there.)

'Til next time, then.