Author's note: This is the first story I had written and I wanted to share it in hopes that I will be able to move on with my other story I started.

I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any characters. And please remember this is a story of fiction but there will be lots of drama and there is abuse so please do not read if that will upset you.

I remember when I was young I use to wish to be someone else. My brother would always tell me that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Of course at the time I didn't know what he really meant so I would just look at him and say, "I can always paint it".

Yesterday I overheard some girls talking and one of them said they wish they were me. I wonder if they would feel the same way if they could take a peek into my life and see what I have gone through in the last 2 years. Would they feel the same way?

"Can you believe it, we're one step closer to being seniors?"

"Iz can you lay off the excitement, it's too early." Mark groaned.

"Mark come on we only have 2 more years and then we can go to college how can you not be excited about that?"

Mark just groaned again. Derek chuckled at his two friends as he spoke. "Iz, I think Mark is just trying to figure out how he is going to make it through this year first."

Izzie laughed with Derek as the teacher came into the room. "Alright everyone it's time to start class. I'm Mr. Jacobs and welcome to your sophomore year." The teacher went on talking about what was in store for the year and handing out text books. Half way through class they were interrupted by a knock on the door. The teacher went to the door and after a few minutes entered the room with a girl following behind. "Class we have a new student. Please welcome Meredith Grey." There was a low grumble from the class and then the teacher continued. "Ms. Grey please take the seat next to Mr. Shepherd in the back."

Meredith briefly looked up to see where he had instructed her to sit and made her way to the back of the room. Once she got to the table she took her seat without looking the other occupants in the eyes. She pulled out her notebook and immediately started taking notes.

The bell rang to signal the end of class and all the students headed for the door. Mark grabbed Izzie's hand and started for the door as well while Derek followed behind.

Izzie looked behind her and saw Meredith slowly making her way behind them. She took her hand out of Mark's and waited for her to catch up. "I'm Izzie Stephens, that's Mark Sloan my boyfriend, and the other with the blue eyes is Derek Shepherd. Where are you from?"

Meredith stopped and averted her eyes but she remembered Izzie and she knew if she didn't talk to her Izzie would not leave her alone. "You don't have to be nice to me."

Izzie was taken back and Mark and Derek stopped at the sound of Izzie's voice. "Excuse me?"

"I said you don't have to be nice to me."

"Look I know it stinks being new in school but you don't have to be rude. You heard Mr. Jacobs we are going be lab partners all year so I thought it would be nice if we could at least get to know each other a little."

"I'm sorry, I just…I'm…you know me already."

"What do you mean I know you already?"

The warning bell rang and Meredith smiled to herself because she didn't have to answer any other questions. "Sorry, I gotta go. I can't be late. Goodbye Iz."

Derek and Mark where watching the interaction before them. Derek knew Izzie could be a little overwhelming to anyone but there was something about Meredith that drew him in and because of this he was listening and watching very closely. Something about her was familiar and he could see pain in her eyes and it made him want to know more about her but he could tell by her stance that she wasn't going to let anyone in.

Izzie was grateful that Meredith had responded to her and there was something about her that told her she needed a friend. She was wondering however about her response. She had said she already knew her. She figured she would find out more later as she made her way to Mark and Derek and the three of them headed to their next classes.

Lunch time came and Derek, Mark, and Izzie were sitting at a table eating. "Look at them they are so…"

"What are you talking about Iz?" Derek asked as he followed Izzie's gaze.

She was looking across the yard to where a big tree stood. Leaning against it were some other students. "They give the school a bad name. They only show up half the time and I bet they will all fail anyway. Trouble makers." Izzie said the last part under her breath.

"They may be troublemakers but they do throw some pretty good parties. As a matter of fact there is one Saturday night. Do you guys want to come?"

"Sounds good to me. Did you talk to Alex?"

"Mark Sloan, you promised me a movie Saturday night."

"We can go Sunday, come on baby it's the first party of the year."

"You better be taking me to a movie or it will be the last time you get a kiss from me." Izzie said pointing to Mark.

"Ok Iz how about an early movie, we can be fashionably late like you say?"

Izzie thought for a moment and decided that would be ok since she also wanted to go to the party. She nodded to Mark and then her gaze again went to the tree. "That poor girl."

"Now what?" Derek and Mark both said as they followed Izzie's gaze. "I wanted to be friends with her so she wouldn't fall in with the wrong crowd. I should have insisted on lunch."

They watched as one of the guys standing by the tree approached Meredith. She was by herself sitting away from the group in the grass.

"Hey there."

"It's you."

"Who did you think it would be?"

"You said you didn't want us talking during school."

"Meri don't be like this."

"Don't be like what Finn, you are the one that said it?"

"Whatever. Look why don't you come over and have lunch with us? I'll even introduce you to all my friends."

"I'm fine here thank-you. I have to finish this chapter."

"It's the first day of school and I want you to meet my friends now get up."

Meredith saw the anger in his eyes and not wanting to draw attention to herself she knew she needed to go with him. He quickly stood and pulled her up. She flinched slightly as he helped her up. Once she had collected her things she followed him to his friends and allowed him to introduce her.

"I wonder how she can stand to where those long sleeves and pants. I mean it's like 90 degrees out her today."

"She has fair skin maybe she burns easily." The table got quiet as Mark and Izzie turned to Derek. "What?"

"Derek how do you know she has fair skin?"

"She is our lab partner and I have a couple other classes with her. I've seen her around."

"Right. Mark did you notice what type of skin she has?"

"No."

Izzie looked back to Derek. "That's what I thought. Derek do we need to have a talk?"

Derek shook his head as the bell rang. "Saved by the bell. Mark I'll see you at practice and don't forget we are meeting Alex outside by the field before practice to go over some plays. Iz I'll see you later." Derek finished as he walked away from his friends to head to his next class.

Meredith finished her first day with no problems. The only class she had to have any interactions with the other students was her biology class and that was first period so she was able to get over it by the end of the day. She had already gone to her locker and was on her way to meet Finn by the bleachers where he had told her to meet him after school.

"Hey Meri how was your first day baby?" Finn asked as he walked up and forcefully kissed her.

Meredith shoved him off. "Shut up, do you have it?"

"What about me Meri?"

She reached into her pocket and handed him the money. "I always give you what you ask."

Finn handed her a small plastic bag which she put into her purse. "Not everything Meri. You know it would be cheaper for you if you just gave me what I really want." Finn said as he grabbed her again and kissed her.

"Get off of me Finn." Meredith said again as she pushed him away.

Finn went to slap her as a hand caught his wrist. "Leave her alone."

"Alex?"

"Leave her alone Finn."

"I don't have to listen to you Karev. If Meri wants me around I will be besides I can satisfy her in more ways than one."

Alex punched him. Finn stumbled backwards but didn't fall and he lunged at Alex.

Meredith watched the interaction and when she saw Finn hit Alex she was knocked out of her shock of seeing him. "Leave him alone. Stop it."

All of the sudden Meredith saw Derek and Mark come up and pulled the two guys apart. Derek tried to be the voice of reason. "That's enough." The two were still struggling against their hold. "Alex if the coach sees you fighting he'll bench you."

This calmed Alex down and he stopped struggling. "You better leave her alone Finn."

Finn had stopped fighting and Mark had loosened his grip so Finn shrugged him off. "I'm done, I don't need this. Meri let me know when you need me again and I'll be more than happy to satisfy you." He again kissed her and walked off after she slapped him.

Derek had let go of Alex who was now facing Meredith. "You said you were done."

Meredith had fire in her eyes and was only focusing on Alex when she spoke. "What I do with my life and who I chose to be around is no concern of yours."

"I told Jason I would always look after you and I am going to keep that promise."

At the mention of his name tears came to Meredith's eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. "Don't you dare say his name. You are not my brother anymore; you lost that right when you left."

"I didn't have a choice Mer. I'm sorry but I'm here now and I am not going to let you get involved with him again."

"You left me, just like he did, just like my father did, you have no right to judge. How I choose to live my life is my business Alex!"

"I am not judging you Mer. And I'm not just going to sit here and watch you hurt yourself, Jason wouldn't…"

Alex didn't get to finish because Meredith quickly slapped him across the face. "I told you not to say his name. You are not a part of my life anymore. I have two years left and then I'm gone and how I choose to spend those years and who I chose to spend them with is my business. Leave me alone." Meredith finished yelling at Alex and ran off.

"Run Mer just like you always do!" Alex shouted after her but she never stopped.

Derek and Mark looked at each other and then turned to Alex. Derek was the one who spoke. "What was that about?"

"Nothing, let's get to practice." Alex said and walked off to the locker room to get changed with Derek and Mark following.

Meredith ran as far as she could before she lost her breath. She decided to go to the park down the street from her house because she didn't want to go home yet. She found a spot under a tree and sat down. At first she watched the children playing and the parents interacting with them. More tears came to her eyes and she quickly wiped them away. She then decided to get some homework done before she had to head home so she pulled out her books hoping she would be distracted from her thoughts.

Back at the practice field. "Alright, that's it. Everyone hit the showers. Shepherd, Sloan, Karev get over here."

The three jogged up to the coach. "Yes coach?"

"Did you get those plays worked out?"

They looked at each other and Derek spoke. "No coach we didn't get a chance yet."

"I know it's the first day of school but you three can't slack off this year. Shepherd you are up for captain next year and if you don't perform this year someone else is going to take it. And you Karev you looked terrible out there today. You were distracted, whatever it is you better get over it. And you Sloan…"

"Yes coach?"

"Hit the showers all of you."

They walked back to the locker room and quickly showered and finished getting changed. Then they headed to their cars. "Sorry guys how about we go over those plays tomorrow?"

"Sounds good." Mark said seeing Izzie standing by his car he smiled and turned back to Derek and Alex. "I gotta go; I'll see you guys tomorrow."

Derek and Alex both said their goodbyes to Mark and Izzie when Derek turned back to Alex. "You need a ride home?"

"Yeah thanks."

They got in Derek's car and headed to Alex's house. "So you know Meredith?"

"Yeah and so do you."

"How do I know her?"

"She lives down the street from me. We all went to junior high together. She had the pink hair in eighth grade."

Derek thought about who Alex had just described. After a minute he remembered. "I do remember her. She was quiet and always seemed to stay away from everyone. What happened to her?"

"She's never been one for words and she would only hang around and talk to Jason."

"Jason, isn't that the name she told you not to say?"

"Yeah." Alex said. He wanted to tell Derek and Mark what had happened thinking maybe they could help him watch out for Meredith but he knew how much she hated other people knowing her business so he decided to keep it quiet a little longer. "Hey stop the car."

"What?"

"Stop the car. That's Mer." Alex pointed out the window to her. She was still sitting in the park.

"You want me to offer her a ride home?"

"No, she won't take it."

"Ok then why did I stop the car?" Once his question left his lips the two watched as she packed her stuff up and started to walk down the street.

"She's only three houses down from me. I can't believe I didn't know she was back."

"Back?"

"Ray told us she went to California to live with her grandmother."

"Who is Ray?"

"Her stepfather. Look I know you're trying to help but this is something I think I need to handle on my own. Thanks for the ride Derek." Alex got out of the car and closed the door now that Derek had pulled into his driveway.

"You're welcome Alex; just remember if you need to talk you know where to find me." Derek said out the window. He watched Alex nod and then walk into his house. He pulled out of the drive way and started down the street. Sure enough he saw her. She had made it to her house and he looked back at Alex's realizing he was right, it was three houses away. He watched her stop at the front door as if she was preparing herself to go in. She took a deep breath before opening the door and disappearing. Once she was gone from his sight Derek felt a pang in his heart. He knew there was something about her that made him want to know more about her and what had happened with Alex and this Jason person. Once he got home he started his homework and figured he'd just have to trust that Alex would let him know if he needed help. And he knew he always had biology class to get to know her better.

Meredith made it home and once she walked into the house she knew she had made it in too late. As soon as the door closed his voice rang out.

"Damn it where have you been, you were suppose to make supper tonight."

"I'm sorry Ray, I was doing homework and I lost track of time."

Ray appeared in the hallway. "Well let's go eat, I ordered pizza." Ray grabbed her arm and tried to pull her towards the dining room.

Meredith pulled her arm away. "I just need to put my books upstairs, I'll…I'll be down in a minute." Meredith started for the stairs.

"I said it was time to eat. Just put your bag down and come eat with your father."

Meredith snapped around. "You are not my father."

"What did you say to me?" Ray asked as he caught up to Meredith on the bottom landing.

"I said you are not my father."

Ray hit her across the face and she fell back into the wall. "How dare you speak to me like that? After everything I have done for you don't you dare speak to me like that."

"You haven't done anything for me you are just someone to keep my mother's bed warm for when she finally decides to come home. Now leave me alone." Meredith tried to push past him and continue up the stairs.

Ray stopped her and pushed her, this time she lost her balance and fell down the couple stairs she had climbed. She landed on the floor and yelled out in pain. "Are you going to cry? Are you going to run to your mommy Meri?"

Meredith stood holding her wrist. She was not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry so she just stared at him. "I am going to my room."

"Good you worthless whore, I don't even know why I asked your mother to bring you back here." He stopped as he saw her start up the steps and then he yelled after her. "You little whore; it should have been you not Jason."

Meredith finished up the stairs, slammed her door, and turned the lock. She made her way to the bed and collapsed. She didn't even bother to put different clothes on she just buried her head in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.

The next day she woke with a sore wrist. She knew it wasn't broken but she suspected it was sprained. She made herself get out of bed and made her way to her dresser. When she looked at herself in the mirror she saw the bruise on her face and decided she would stay home from school. Instead of trying to cover it up plus it would give her wrist a chance to heal a little. She waited until she heard the front door close before she made her way downstairs. When she got downstairs she saw the housekeeper had arrived. "Good morning Susan."

"Good morning Ms. Grey, shouldn't you be at school?" She asked and then looked up from the counter. "Oh my, what happened dear?"

"It's nothing Susan, I fell last night. I'm just going to stay home today and rest a little."

"Do you need anything?"

"No, no I'm fine. Do you know when my mother and Ray will be home tonight?"

"Your mother is on call tonight and Ray said he would be home around six so his dinner should be ready by then. I was going to leave you a note and prepare the meal so all you have to do is heat it up."

"Thanks Susan. I'm just going to go lay down so don't worry about my room today."

"Ok Ms. Grey, I will be done in a couple hours. Please let me know if you need anything."

Meredith made her way back to her room. The day seemed to pass rather quickly for Meredith and soon she saw that it was 5:00pm. She decided to head down and get everything ready for dinner incase Ray was early. She took out the packet of pills she had and took out two. She grounded them up and mixed them into a helping of the hot dish Susan had prepared and then she went and set the table being careful not to mix up the plates. Once everything was done she went in and started watching TV.

The day had gone quickly but Derek had to admit that when he didn't see Meredith in class or later at lunch he was worried. He met up with Alex and Mark in the locker room. "Alex have you seen Meredith today?"

"Derek shouldn't we be more concerned with the fact that we haven't gone over the plays yet? Coach is going to ride us hard when he finds it out."

"Don't worry Mark; I talked to coach before school was out. He said he wants them by Wednesday so we can practice them and use them for Friday's game." Alex said and then turned his attention to Derek. "She wasn't in class?"

"No and after last night…something doesn't feel right…I'm worried about her."

"Feel right Derek? You just met her?"

Derek explained what he saw after he dropped Alex off and he told his friends how he felt about her.

Both Mark and Alex listened to him and where a bit taken back by what he said about his feelings but Alex started to worry. "I'll stop by after practice."

"We have to go over those plays tonight Alex. I told Iz so she isn't expecting me."

"I know but I need to check on Mer. It's not like her to miss school. We can meet at my house after."

"It's going to take hours to go over those plays we need to start right after practice." Mark whined.

Derek saw the worry in Alex's eyes and knew he had to back him up. "Mark's right Alex. How about Mark and I come with you to check on Meredith? I can tell her what we went over in biology and then we can go back to your house and when we are done I'll give you a ride home Mark so Iz can have your car."

Mark nodded his agreement right away and texted Izzie to tell her to take his car. Alex thought for a minute and then also gave in deciding that maybe Derek and Mark were the ones to help him after all.

They went to practice and made it through. They were the first ones out of the showers and once changed they headed to Meredith's house. They pulled up to the house and decided to let Mark knock on the door after he said he could use his charm to get her to let them in. Mark knocked on the door while Derek and Alex stood off to the side out of sight.

Meredith heard the knock and turned off the TV and went to the door. She opened it a little being sure to hide the side of her face and when she saw who it was she was a little surprised. "Are you lost?"

"No I came to see you so are you going to let me in or what?"

"I don't even know you, why would I let you in?"

Mark thought for a second and then found his answer. "I'm hungry and I can smell you made me diner so can we eat?"

"I can't cook."

"How about a glass of water? I ran all the way here."

Meredith saw his smile and knew he was up to something but she couldn't help but smile at him and she gave in. "Fine, I'll get you a glass of water but you have to wait here and as soon as you are done you leave, got it?"

"Got it."

Meredith walked to the kitchen leaving the door open.

Mark smiled back at his friends and they made their way into the entry room. All three of them were looking around and what caught their eyes were the pictures on the walls. Derek turned to Alex. "That's Jason Simpson isn't it?"

"Yeah." Alex replied as he too was looking at the wall of pictures. His heart broke more for her seeing there were no pictures of Meredith and he could only imagine what it has been like for her.

"Didn't he die like 2 years ago in a car accident?"

"Yeah."

"Why are there all these pictures of him in Meredith's house Alex?" Derek asked growing more concerned.

"Jason was Ray's son." Alex said as he led the two into the kitchen. He stopped when he saw Meredith turn around. "Mer?"

Meredith dropped the glass of water she had picked up when she turned and came face to face with Alex, Derek, and Mark. "What are you doing here?"

"More important, what happened to your face?" Alex asked.

"No you are in my house you don't get to ask questions." Meredith yelled and then eyed Mark and Derek. "Get out, get out of my house."

Derek saw the bruise on her face and he was worried. For a second he saw fear in her eyes before it turned to rage and he wanted to calm her down. He stepped out from behind Alex. "Meredith we just came to let you know what you missed in class today."

Mark decided he wasn't interested in the conversation so he made his way to the dining room. Once he got there he noticed the table set with two covered dishes. He lifted the cover from the one that was at the head of the table. Immediately he smelt the aroma and his stomach growled. "This sure smells good Meredith, I hope you don't mind if I have some while you all sort everything out." He yelled and then sat down. He had picked up a fork when a hand grabbed him.

Meredith was about to respond to Derek when she heard Mark's voice from the dining room. She immediately pushed past Alex and Derek and ran into the dining room. "No, you can't eat that." Meredith yelled as she grabbed his hand with her hand. She felt the pain in her wrist as she did so however she didn't let it stop her.

Alex and Derek had followed her into the dining room and watched as she grabbed Mark's hand. Alex was a little taken back by her outburst because he had never seen her yell at anyone like that. "Mer?"

"What the hell Meredith? I was just going to eat while you guys were talking. I didn't want your food to go to waste." Mark said as Meredith dropped his hand.

"I'm sorry but…you can't…I mean you need to go…you can't eat here."

"Why not it's ready to eat and it's going to get cold."

"It's for Ray. You can't eat it. Just go before he gets home."

"Come on Meredith we had a tough practice and I haven't had anything to eat and it looks like you have more than enough."

"No…no you can't eat…you need to go."

Alex and Derek shared a look questioning her strange behavior. Derek would bet money that he saw fear in her eyes. Alex watched her and something about her was different than the last time he had seen her and it worried him. "Mer it does look like Susan made a lot, we have some time before we have to go over our plays."

"No!" Meredith yelled. She pulled Mark out of the chair with her good arm and started pushing him out of the room. "No you all have to go. I didn't invite you in and you need to leave before he gets back."

Mark turned back around and saw Derek and Alex standing behind her now. He looked down at her and spoke again. "What is with you?"

Meredith was surprised by his question. "What?"

"Well most girls would kill to make me dinner but you; no you are pushing me out the door. So I have to ask, what is with you?"

"Seriously? Seriously? You came bursting into my house uninvited and you think there is something wrong with me because I won't stroke your ego, Seriously? And what about Izzie, I thought she was your girlfriend?"

Mark looked at Alex and Derek who both had smiles on their faces and he wasn't going to let her win. Mark put on the grin that he knew no girl could resist and he looked back down at her. "We are. Iz and I are together but she also knows that you should always share the wealth. And for the record Meredith, right now, I'm just talking about you sharing your dinner not s-e-x."

Meredith could not believe Mark. He was infuriating and she was ready to beat him. Her body tensed and she went to lunge at him.

Derek had been watching the interaction impressed that Meredith hadn't given into Mark. He saw her body tense and knew she had enough. He quickly put himself in between the two and caught her as she lunged at him. "Whoa there. Don't let him get to you Meredith. I know he's a lot to take but he really is a good guy when he behaves."

As soon as she felt his hands on her it sent a shock through her. There was something about Derek that made her feel comfortable and when she felt his hands, she had never felt that way before. She stopped struggling immediately but then she looked at the clock on the wall, it was almost 6pm and she was getting more nervous. She knew she needed to get them out of there. She looked into Derek's blue eyes pleading with him and in a whisper she spoke. "Please just go before he gets here." No one moved so she said it louder. "Go now, please go."

Derek saw the pleading and at that time he wanted to help. "Let's go guys we need to go over those plays." He turned and started for the door. The others followed. When he opened the door he stopped and was met with a pair of brown eyes that he immediately didn't like.

"What are you doing in my house?" Mark and Derek. "I hope she at least gave you each your own individual attention"

Derek and Mark were both taken back by what he just said. "Wh…what?"

"You don't have to be embarrassed by it we already know she's a whore so don't try and hide it."

Derek and Mark both looked from the man to Meredith and noticed the tears in her eyes.

"Is diner ready?"

Meredith blinked back the tears and answered. "You're, you're home early Ray."

"Shut up Meri just get dinner ready."

Alex had been off to the side and hadn't made his presence known. He was surprised by the way Ray was talking to Meredith and he stepped forward. "Mr. Simpson?"

Ray turned around and immediately his face changed. "Alex?" Ray grabbed him and hugged him. "How have you been? It's been to long since you've been around. Are you still playing football?"

"Yes sir."

"I still have all the tapes of you, Jake, and Jason playing. You should come visit and we can watch them."

"Thanks Mr. Simpson but I'm pretty busy now with school so I don't know…"

Ray cut him off. "Well I understand. Let's go sit down and have dinner. We can catch up." Ray grabbed him and started walking to the dining room. "Meri get some more plates for Alex and his friends."

Meredith took a deep breath and closed the door as Derek and Mark followed them into the dining room and sat down to eat.

Dinner was filled with Ray telling story after story about Jason. He never once mentioned Meredith. Alex, Derek, and Mark all shared looks through dinner and they would also glance at Meredith who had her head down moving her food around her plate. Finally after Ray had finished she took away the dishes and he finished up his last story as he started to bob his head. Meredith came back in the room and saw him bobbing his head. "I can put desert in the fridge Ray if you'd like to turn in early."

"Shut up you slut. Don't tell me what to do."

"I'm so…I'm sorry Ray; I'll go get the cake." Meredith went to turn around when his voice stopped her.

"Boys if you'll just show yourselves out I'm going to head to bed." He turned and walked out of the dining room and Meredith followed. When he started climbing the steps he stopped and turned to her before speaking again. "It should have been you Meri, Jason never should have been taken from us. Clean up and get to bed."

Meredith held her breath as she walked to the steps and listened until she heard him fall on the bed. She let out her breath and turned to go clean up. She was met by three pairs of eyes that she had forgotten about. "Goodnight, you know where the door is." Meredith went to the dining room and grabbed the remaining dishes then headed to the kitchen to clean up.

Derek, Mark, and Alex all looked at each other. "What the hell was that Alex?" Derek whispered in an upset tone.

Alex met his tone. "I don't know. He wasn't like this from what I remember."

"Should we leave her?" Mark asked.

"No, we should go help her clean up." Derek said because he didn't want to leave her and because he was raised to help clean up.

The three made their way into the kitchen and saw Meredith at the sink getting ready to do the dishes. Derek noticed the way she was holding her one arm and went up to help her. "Meredith let us…" Derek stopped once he looked down and saw her wrist. It was swollen. "What happened to your wrist?"

At Derek's question both Mark and Alex appeared next to them. "Mer what happened to you?"

"I…I just fell."

Mark looked closer and then asked. "Did you get an x-ray to see if it is broken?"

"It's not broken." She said and then when she saw the question on their faces she continued. "My mother is a surgeon I know what a break looks like, it's just sprained. You can all leave now."

Alex put his hand on her shoulder. "Mer we want to help you clean up before we leave."

Meredith shrugged him off. "I don't need your help Alex; I meant what I said yesterday. You had no right to come here."

Derek decided he would try. "You may not need our help but we are part of the reason for all these dishes so it's the least we can do. We'll leave once everything is cleaned up Mer."

It was the first time he had shortened her name and she liked it. "Fine but only if you three do dishes and I'll take care of the food."

Mark and Alex each had looks of disgust on them for having to do the dishes however Derek smiled. "That's my specialty. Come on. Mark you wash, I'll dry and Alex can put them away since you've been here before."

They started doing the dishes while Meredith went about her task. Meredith had finished with the food and was sitting at the counter watching the guys finish up the dishes. Alex had some silver ware and had opened the drawer to put it away when his voice rang out. "What the hell is this Mer?" He asked as he pulled the bag of pills out of the drawer.

Meredith quickly jumped out of her chair and went to grab them from him however he held them out of her reach. "Leave them alone."

"You told me you were done. You promised. How could you lie about something like this?"

Meredith looked him straight in the eyes and started yelling. "I never lied. Give them back to me. You have no right to take something that doesn't belong to you." She reached again and snatched them back from him.

"You never lie, if that is true Mer than what are these pills doing here?"

"They are not…I don't have to explain myself to you. You left; you don't have a right to ask me anything. Now leave, I can finish myself."

"Calm down you guys. And lower your voices."

"Shut up Mark just all of you get out of my house."

Alex heard Mark and knew he didn't want to wake Ray. "Mark is right Mer we don't want to wake Ray."

Meredith continued to yell. "You don't have to worry about him he won't wake up, just get out." I made sure of that she thought as she looked to the pills.

"What is that suppose to mean?" Alex and Mark both asked.

Derek had been watching Meredith and once he saw her eyes go to the bag of pills that was now on the counter he knew. "Sleeping pills." He said. He looked at Meredith and saw her nod.

Alex and Mark both looked at Derek. "What?"

"Sleeping pills. And from how she reacted to Mark earlier I bet she put them in his helping at dinner." Derek finished his explanation as all eyes went back to Meredith.

"Mer, is it true?" Alex questioned and didn't get any response so he tried again. "Is it true Meredith?"

Meredith felt the pressure of their stares and gave in hoping they would leave soon. "Yes alright. Now leave."

"What the hell has been going on around here? Mer tell me, I'm not leaving until you tell me."

"Leave Alex, all of you leave." Meredith started walking out of the kitchen.

Alex grabbed her and turned her. He knew she wouldn't talk unless she was forced so he started pushing. "Tell me Mer. I want to know why you put sleeping pills in his food."

"No."

"I'm not leaving until you tell me. Damn it Meredith just tell me so I can help you."

"I don't need your help."

"Jason wouldn't want you living like this. Just tell me."

As soon as he said his name Meredith started struggling more. "Don't say his name, Alex leave me alone."

"Jason would want you to tell me so I can help."

"No, no Alex you don't get to say his name and you don't get to act like you care about me now. Leave." Meredith said but her voice was cracking the more Alex was pushing the harder it was to resist.

Derek heard her voice and didn't like to see her hurting like she was. "Alex maybe we should go."

Alex turned to them but kept his hold on Meredith. "If I don't push her she won't talk, she avoids and she is stubborn." He turned back to Meredith. "Mer Jason loved you he wouldn't want you doing this to yourself just let me in."

"No, no Alex. You left, I can take care of myself and in 2 years I will be gone. I can deal with him for two more years. Just leave me alone and leave."

"Deal with what?" Now he was getting scarred about what had been going on with his friend and he knew he had to get the truth. He gently but firmly shook her. "Damn it Meredith what the hell has been going on this last year and a half. Is he…has Ray abused you?" She didn't say anything. "Meredith has he hit you?"

Meredith finally gave in and nodded.

"Is he the reason for the bruise and the sprained wrist?"

Again Meredith nodded.

Alex got a lump in his throat for the next question. "Has he…has he sexually…" He couldn't even finish the question.

Meredith felt his hold on her loosen as he asked his questions and the last one caused her temper to grow. She ripped her arms out of his grasp. "I am not a whore, no matter what he says I am not a whore." Meredith looked at each of their faces and then turned and started running for the door.

They were in shock by what they all had just witnessed but as soon as he saw her start to run Derek ran after her and caught her. "Let us help you."

"I don't need anyone's help. I am fine, I can take care of myself like I always have and I can handle this on my own."

Alex and Mark had caught up. "I'm sorry Mer I just needed to know."

Meredith stared him in the eyes again. "Jason is gone because, because of me. Iknow it should have been me, I wish it had been me but I can't change that. You know what happened that night Alex…." Meredith trailed off thinking about what had happened that night. She looked up and saw the concerned faces in front of her and felt embarrassed. She put on a fake smile and rushed to get them out of the house. "Didn't you guys say you had some pictures to go over or something?"

Derek was surprised by her change but chuckled at her as she asked about pictures. "Plays, football plays Meredith and yes we do."

"It's getting late so you should get going." Meredith opened the door for them.

Mark walked to the door first but stopped in front of her. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "I know you don't know me Meredith but let me know if you need anything ok? Besides we are lab partners so you will be getting to know me." Mark watched her nod and then walked out the door to the car.

Alex moved next and also stopped in front of Meredith. "I know I left Mer but I didn't forget about you and you are still my sister so just promise me you will call if you need anything?"

Meredith smiled a little. "The gestures nice Alex but I'm fine really. I'll see you around."

"I'm just down the street Mer." Alex replied and walked out to join Mark in the car.

Derek had stayed back and watched his two friends leave and then followed in their path. Standing in front of her he couldn't believe his feelings for this girl. "You are a strong person Meredith Grey I can see that in your eyes but like those other two I am also going to ask you to promise me that you will let me know if you need anything."

"Will it help you sleep better?"

"Yes."

"Ok, since you did bring me my assignment I will promise you as long as you give me your number tomorrow in class."

"You'll be in class tomorrow?"

"Yes."

"Deal, have a good night Mer." Derek said as he walked to his car and once in he drove them to Alex's house. With thoughts of Meredith running through his head, knowing he was hooked and for the first time in his life happy that he didn't have a girlfriend.

Once she closed the door she finished cleaning up and made sure the house was locked up before heading to bed. Unfortunately sleep did not come easily for Meredith because she was thinking of a certain blue eyed boy that had just left. She was surprised by how he seemed to read her and it scared her. Thoughts were running through her head about how she was going to continue living with Ray

Meredith heard his voice and it sent a shiver through her. She shook it off and stepped forward. "Ray this is Derek and Mark they are some friends from school. And this is…"

Ray cut her off after she introduced them. "Two new ones Meri." He then turned his attention back to

knowing there was no way she could get anymore pills from Finn with Alex, Derek, and Mark around.

That was the first time Derek and Mark ever met Ray. I remember the embarrassment I felt that they had found out my secret. They now knew that Ray was capable of hurting me and I was capable of putting sleeping pills in his food to try and prevent it.

They never mentioned it but I knew from all their looks that they were watching me. Because of that I made sure that I knew how to use make-up and whenever it was possible I would be sure that any other injuries were kept out of site. I never went to Finn again after that thinking that if they knew I wasn't going to him then they would think everything was okay and I wouldn't have to worry about trying to hide anything else. I was especially worried about Mrs. Shepherd finding out. We often went to Derek's house to study and for some reason she always seemed to be watching me a little too closely. I wondered if Derek had told her but I knew that he hadn't which I was grateful for.