And because I feel so bad for not updating in so long, here's another one. Be warned, I digress…

Percy Jackson and other characters © Rick Riordan.

…

Thalia squinted at the paper, written in the chicken scratch handwriting that was Percy Jackson. You'd think that amazing sword-wielding hand of his would allow him to write at least somewhat legibly. It had taken her hours to decode, and that wasn't only because of her dyslexia. But the first line hadn't been that hard to wrap her head around.

Ways to Annoy Thalia Grace

She was going to kill him.

Glancing back up at her poor, deluded cousin hanging upside down from the very tree she had been only a few scant years before, she supposed leaving him there for a while would do just as well. Her initial anger had dissipated hours ago, but the list still irked her. Instead of taking her sword and pincushioning it into every sliver of available skin until she found that annoying Achilles' spot, she decided to draw up her own list instead.

Things Percy Jackson is not allowed to do:

Never, under any circumstance, is Percy Jackson allowed to draw up a list of what annoys people the most.

Even if the Stoll brothers pay him to. They should be original and go back to forming their own ideas.

He is not allowed to steal Thalia's eyeliner.

He is not allowed to steal her Medusa shield.

He is not allowed to put said shield in front her cabin to scare her.

He is not allowed to put it outside of the Herme's cabin to scare new campers.

He is not allowed to put in front anyone's cabin.

Especially not the Big House.

He is not allowed to tell her that she had been the "third wheel" with Annabeth and Luke

He is not allowed to rub his feet on a carpet then shock her, exclaiming, "Thalia is no match against my amazing electrical powers!"

He will probably get struck down by Zeus for that

He is not allowed to tell Thalia's that Annabeth's pregnant with Luke's child

He is not allowed to tell her Annabeth's pregnant with his child

That will result in an early vasectomy.

He is not allowed to steal her silver circlet marking her Artemis' first lieutenant

Nor is he allowed to call it a tiara

He is not allowed to call her "pinecone face" or "Sparky"

He is not allowed to constantly ask her why she put the whole "child of the prophecy" on his shoulders

He is not allowed to ask her if she knows children of Zeus suck with archery after she becomes a Hunter.

That's only true for Poseidon's children

He is not allowed to give her a car air freshener in the shape of a tree. Of any kind

He is not allowed to ask her if she's team Jacob or Team Edward

…

Satisfied, she slammed the paper down to the tree with one hand and very deliberately pinned it where it sat with a dagger. One by one, campers passed by that tree, the upside down boy catching their attention and, as they came to investigate, found instead a list. Ignoring the child whining for help rather unbefitting of a "Savior of Olympus," they pulled out pens he didn't even know this summer camp had and added to the list one by one. His cheeks burned red, but whether the reason for that was because of the humiliation, spluttering in anger, or simply the blood rushing to that thick head of his remained a mystery.

The paper was eventually moved, posted to the camp's bulletin board, and while Percy stewed in the background in comical indignation, he did nothing to remove it. Probably wouldn't have been able to, anyway, if the Stoll brothers were behind it. Who knew how they had rigged it, anything from the area around the actual bored to those tiny pushpins pinning it there.

It seemed every person in camp added something different: Percy is not allowed to claim to be Jesus. That is offensive. And overused, and quite frankly not that funny in the first place. Percy is not allowed to sing Under the Sea. Percy is not allowed to sing Just Keep Swimming. Percy is not allowed to sing any sea related songs. Percy's not allowed to sing period. Percy is not allowed to start a swim team at Camp solely to show off. Percy is not allowed to join his own school's swim team solely to show off. Percy is not allowed to break fire hydrants. Or volcanoes. Nor is he allowed to play dead for two weeks. He's not allowed to making googly eyes at Annabeth when he should be teaching us swordsmanship. He's not allowed to make googly eyes at me period! He's not allowed to distract me while on my laptop! Or distract anyone. He is not allowed to sick O'Leary on anyone. Especially not new campers….

The list went on and on from there, but was ultimately forgotten about during the war. More papers and news, more important announcements and serious regulations, big changes, covered it, but it was never taken down. Only lost. Eventually, it became just as much a legend to the younger, new recruits coming in, in those eight months, as the boy that it had been about went missing during that time period.

Jason hadn't even heard of the set of rules that the entire camp had set up for the supposed competent, reliable leader and savior. So when he found the paper, during an escapade during one Capture the Flag game that became horribly awry, prompting him and Leo to lead a harpy out of the forest and knocking over the bulletin board that had for decades and generations stood tall in all its decaying terminate-encrusted moss-grown glory, and asked Grover about it, he found himself wondering if he should be doubting the rumors of Jackson's inane behavior or his supposed counterpart's own competency. Surely one of the Heroes of Olympus couldn't be so outlandish that his own contemporaries would mock him like they did?

Certainly, he didn't know Percy Jackson, let alone the entire Greek camp. It was so different from the Romans. No organization, no strategies to even think of side for the ones the Athena cabin provided in states of emergency, no rigidity. Only during the war, apparently, they had been a full functioning body of machine. Now they were laid back; still training, but nowhere nearly as prepared as the regiments of Rome would be twenty four seven.

"That's just the way we are," his older sister had chuckled one day, as she inspected the aged, stained paper in her hands. Once white, it was now smudged yellow, wrinkled and frayed at the edge like it was parchment instead of college-ruled composition, falling apart like a filmy cloth between her fingers and she held on tightly, remember that day when the camp still had that kelp-head. "Every person is unique in the way they fight. They're not a single unit fighting. They're hundreds of kids all fighting their own battles, but working toward the same goal. They couldn't conform to a cohort, even if they wanted to. It's just not the way the Greeks are."

Jason snorted and glanced away from Thalia, watching over his knees the sand stretch far to his left and he felt kind of silly, with his arms curled around them, pulled to his chest as waves rolled up to shore and lapped his bare feet – he never would have even considered forgoing shoes back at Camp Jupiter. Thalia stood and stretched, her toes pressing into the folds of thousands of tiny grains of sand freely as she stared out at the waters, then swiftly away. She didn't like coming to the beach. It was their uncle's domain. It was Percy's.

Everyone had liked Jackson. Even Thalia Grace, despite how she'd never admit it. He glanced away again, thinking about how everyone thought the boy as a friend. He'd always been hard on his legions back at Camp Jupiter – always had, always will. Would they miss him?

He shook that thought out of his head as quickly as it had come, but when his eyes opened again, Thalia was already walking back the way they had come, calling a cheery, almost forced goodnight over her shoulder. She'd be sleeping with the Hunters, not in Zeus' cabin with him. She always did.

Dropping into her bunk, Thalia laid on her stomach, facing her pillow and the paper that laid there. A small mischievous smile crossed her lips, however briefly, and she found herself pulling out a pen and paper as the evening grew darker.

And when it grew light again, the entire camp read the new gag, not on the bulletin Annabeth was still reconstructing, but on Thalia's Tree, pinned there by the same dagger that had pinned it there almost a year ago.

Ways to Annoy Jason Grace:

Tell him Percy Jackson is a better protagonist

Oof, Jason thought as he read it, visibly wincing. That one was a low blow, right in the forth wall.

Point out that Leo is literally hotter than he is

Admittedly true, he conceded.

Use his golden coin for a vending machine

Ha, he didn't even have it anymore.

Remind him that he broke said coin.

This had to be Thalia. Now, who else could possibly have know what he was thinking?

Point out if he really had strong feelings for Reyna, he would have remembered her like Percy remembered Annabeth.

Okay, that hasn't even happened yet!

Toss him into the ocean.

I'll toss you into the air, dear sister, he thought bitterly, his ears reddening as people began gathering around him, hiding smiles behind their hands and stifling laughter behind coughs.

Compare him to Hercules.

Sing songs from the Disney's Hercules to him

Call him a Gary Stu

Lock him and Percy into a room together.

"It'll be like Percy and Thalia all over again, during that Capture the Flag game. You remember that?" someone had loudly called. Jason grounded his teeth together, not amused.

Remind him Hera killed the first Jason

Remind him the first Jason died on the Argo

Call him Sparky

Call him Pikachu

Call out "Jason, I choose you!" when you get into a battle.

Play a Greeks vs. Romans Capture the Flag at Camp half blood

He looked discretely around, finding a convenient lack of Romans in the Greek camp. Was she trying to get him killed?

Tell him he's not one of the Seven.

Ask him how he liked the taste of staplers?

Remind him he was never offered immortality while Percy was.

Remind him Camp Half Blood's never even heard of the Romans.

Dye all his purple shirts orange.

Kissing of the Boar initiation, anyone? We have to welcome our new camper.

And like that, he could practically feel his supposed new allies grinning mercilessly at him and suppressed shudder but could not the groan that bubbled past his lips as he rolled his head back, staring bleakly at the sky that seemed to laugh back at him…