The world was dark. A heavy omen seemed to coat the grounds. Silence hung over the academy; a thick, heavy quiet. The morning dew collected on my leather boots as I stalked through the grass. It was a calm morning; the last of the sun's rays were disappearing beneath the mountains. Just before the light faded completely, I ducked through the small wooden door.

I could smell the scent of burning candles as I manuevered through the dark; the room was so light-deprived no human could possibly see. The low drone of a voice whispered thorugh the air, and I took my seat at the back, careful not to disturb anyone. I was good at that. Being invisible.

"And now," the pastor said, "We will honour the fallen." The room grows painfully quiet, leaving me alone with my aching guilt. I gaze around. People fill the pews; many more than they should comfortably hold. Many are sobbing. Clutching onto their friends and family. Wiping their faces with tissues.

I clasp my hands together; the knuckles turn white. "Abigail Badica." A wave of hard sobs flood through the church. An inhumane wail screams against the wooden walls. I look into my hands as more names are called. Royal. Non-royal. Dhampirs. Teachers. Students. No one was safe. Not anymore. "Edward Ellsworth." The only emotion I could seem to comprehend was pain. It consumed me, devouring my soul.

"Rosemarie Hathaway." A whimper escaped my lips, so soft that no one else could hear. Oh God, Roza. I leaned forward, burying my face in my palms. My heart throbbed an ached. Every piece of it.

She had left me. She had saved me. The thought made my chest constrict painfully. Yes, the strigoi had been fast. So fast. But she had been just as quick, jumping out in front of me and allowing herself to be pulled away. Away from me. Into his arms. And his fangs sunk into her neck.

And I couldn't see her. She was gone in a rush of people that kept me from her. I tried to scream, but as I opened my mouth, another voice drowned my own.

"ROSE!" I turned and saw Janine run forward. Several guardians tried to pull her back, but she gave an animalistic roar and jerked her arm from their grasp. This was all I needed, knowing the deed of saving Rose was impossible, I needed someone who distracted my attention. I reached out and gripped Guardian Hathaway's wrist, pulling the tiny, powerful woman behind me as we retreated to the academy.

And I ran. And left my heart behind.

"Guardian Belikov?" I pulled my head up from the memory and saw the princess's eyes. Tears streaked down her cheeks; her hair was tangled on one side of her head, where she had leaned on Christian Ozera for comfort. I would have given anything to hold Rose; to pull her into my arms and never let go. Anything.

"Yes Princess?" My voice was tight and weary. She sniffed and smoothed her hair. She glanced behind her, and I discovered the church was empty.

"I-I haven't seen you. In a while." I nodded. As her guardian, I was to follow her, protect her. But I had avoided seeing her, busying myself with extra shifts and long hours. It was immature and ridiculous. I hated myself for it, among many other things. It felt like I was taking Rose's place. A inadaquate substitute. Cheap foreign labour. The thought made me smile. Almost.

"I know, Princess. The academy needs extra security," I lied through my teeth, not having the energy or motivation to make it convincing. She nodded anyways and glanced behind her again, looking at the memorial at the alter.

"She would have hated it. She would be the one telling people to get off their asses and do something." I tried to smile, but ended up grimacing.

"Yes, that sounds like her." I look up at the princess. Her hair was sleek and straight; she was the picture of a princess, prim and proper. When the world saw her, they saw the grand Dragomir line, her future. While I look at her, I see only Rose.

"I'm here, if you need me." I meant this as a dismissal, but she just nodded and sat down beside me, resting her hand on my arm. I look down, and the wounds on my hands disappear. I think of Rose, screaming at me, trying to pull away, to strike me. I shiver and pull away. Vasilisa sighed and took a deep breath.

"She's alive." I stiffened. Not possible.

"Princess," I whispered, my voice shaking, "I know this has been tramatic, and you'd love to believe that-"

"She's. Alive." Vasilisa's eyes went dark and fierce. "I would be able to feel something. Anything. The bond can't just be broken without me knowing!" I look at her and see the determination in her eyes. "You have to believe me." She was right. Oh God.

I squeeze me eyes shut. I try to imagine her, lying in the caves, her neck bleeding. Dying.

"No," I whisper. I push myself up abruptly, jerking away and moving out of the church. I cannot think of this. Not now. I storm into the courtyard, which is unusually empty due to the attack. Everyone is in their dorms, preparing for the day.

As I start to enter the school, I run straight into someone who I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing.

"Lord Ivashkov," I mumble, trying to move past him. He reaches out and catches my arm. I sigh angrily. "I really don't have time for this." It was an impolite and disrespectful, but I didn't care.

He sighed loudly. "It's about Rose." This got me. I spun and grabbed him by the collar. He reeked of cigarettes and alcohol.

"What. About. Rose?" He cleared his throat and brushed me off.

"Hands off." I released him, and he sobered, so to speak, immediately becoming serious.

"She's alive." The information swam in my head. His words made my chest throb; an empty space that would never be replaced. I squeezed my eyes shut.

"Why are you telling me this?" He snorted.

"I thought you would care most of all, Belikov," he sneered.

"She's not alive," I hiss, and try to move past him once again. He stops me by shoving his palm against my chest. His eyes are suddenly sharp and determined.

"I have been trying to reach her for a week. Constantly. She's not sleeping." I knead the thought, turning it in my head. My pulse pounded in my ears.

"Then how can she be alive? It doesn't matter that the Princess said-"

He snorted again. "The bond wasn't broken? Yeah, I came up with something." I nodded weakly, waiting for him to continue.

"She's a strigoi." My heart shattered. I wondered how many times I would have to endure this heartbreak before I could no longer feel anything at all.