A/N: :)

Massive thank you to my beta, Frieda van den Huetten!

Chapter 8: Keep Your Heart Strong

Jack took leave from work a week earlier than his departure date to be at home with his family. He was grateful for that time to create new memories, and he was grateful to fill his life with the last bits of joy and comfort before facing the cold world outside the warmth of his family.

The night before Jack was scheduled to leave, they took the time together to put both put the children to bed. Rose noticed Jack going through the children's specific bedtime routine with extra care, and rightfully so. She loved that about him, his patience and his genuine interest in his children. To her knowledge in her former world, no father that she'd heard of would take all the care of doing what Jack was doing: bonding with his children. That isn't to say her father neglected her; she remembered his love. She just thought most fathers wouldn't bother to the extent that Jack would go out of his way; that was left to the mothers—or as in Rose's case, the nannies. But maybe where Jack was from, this was the way families operated. Or maybe it was simply Jack's way of doing things.

Rose had then made her way to her and Jack's bedroom to change while Jack finished up a story for the boys. Rose was brushing her hair at the makeshift vanity—that had been added to the room a few months ago, consisting of a distressed wooden table and a simple wooden chair—as she reflected back on a week in which she had felt surrounded by a love like she'd never known. And she knew Jack had felt the same.

Just then, Jack stepped into the room, shutting their door behind him. "They weren't ready to sleep yet, so I gave them each a cup of warm milk and read to them some more." Jack smiled faintly as he walked over to their bed.

"They're asleep now?" Rose put down her brush.

"They were when I left," Jack sat on the edge of the bed next to the vanity. "You're not getting to bed now, are you? It's still kinda early, dontcha think?"

She took his warm, calloused hand in hers and gently shook her head 'no'. Jack took a moment to really look at her, to gauge what was going through her mind now that he was finally alone with her. The past twenty-four hours was a beautiful blur spent with family and friends and before they knew it, they were already down to the last night with just the two of them together for but a few more hours. She was looking at their clasped hands, seeming a thousand miles away deep in her thoughts. And he understood all too well what was on her mind.

"Can you come here then," he demanded affectionately, grabbing both her hands now and tugging her to him.

She didn't hesitate and allowed herself to be guided to his side, his arms immediately enveloping her. He felt her breathe in deeply against him.

"You okay?" The moment the words came from his mouth he wish he'd bitten his tongue. "Never mind. That was a stupid thing for me to ask."

"I'm with you; I'm alright." For now, she wanted to add.

She allowed herself to be held like this, his chin resting in her curls, and they sat in silence for a few moments.

"What are you thinking about?" he heard her ask him.

"You," he truthfully replied. "About how much I love the way you smell and how you feel in my arms."

Rose smiled against him. "What else?"

"I was thinking about how fast Paul and Matt have grown already. It's hard to imagine how little they are when they're born. You remember how small Matt was when we first had him? You said your dad was tall, wasn't he?—" he paused in his train of thought. "Yeah... give him ten or so years and I wouldn't be surprised if he were taller than me."

Listening to Jack talk like that, Rose's eyes began to brim.

"My father was tall…" Before she knew it, tears had already begun to slip down her cheek, though she made no sound.

But Jack heard the change in her voice. "Hey, hey," Jack pulled away to look at her. "What is it?" He didn't think mentioning her late father would bring her to tears, unless she was in a particularly emotional state tonight. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up your—"

"No, it's not that. Just… I love you," Rose sniffed back her tears. "And they love you so much, Jack."

Jack had his hands on her shoulders, "Come on, no tears. We promised ourselves there wouldn't be any tonight."

"I know," she sniffed, "I know, I know. But knowing I won't see you again for God knows how long..."

"Don't talk like that," Jack cut her off. He sighed deeply, knowing she was right.

"I just want to hold you like this until I can't hold you anymore."

Words would have been useless at this point. He resolved to wrap his arms around her and he pulled her gently to his chest, allowing what was left of her tears to dampen his shirt.

A short time later, her tears having settled, she turned her head and looked up at him with a need to be closer. "Put your hands on me, Jack..." she whispered as she once had. He nearly hesitated after hearing those familiar words, flashes of their time in the back of the Renault appearing in his mind, remembering how nervous and careful he had been with her. Admittedly, he had often been thinking that day about making love to her, knowing this would be their last night together for a while. All he wanted to do now until the sun would rise was to love her as best as he could. He eagerly leaned into her kissed her fervently.

They found themselves tangled in a warm embrace. Rain was pitter-pattering against the window. Neither one of them spoke for the longest time for it did not seem appropriate. They were content with just holding each other.

Until it was Jack's turn to ask, "Tell me what you're thinking." The gentle touch of his fingertips on her cheek prompted her to respond.

She turned to her side facing him, her hands pressed to his chest and he draped an arm over her shoulder. "How I'm going to be able to let go of you at all tomorrow. That I don't want to be apart from you."

Jack placed his hand on her cheek, caressing her skin, and smiled weakly at her because he was thinking the same. He leaned into her again and she welcomed his tender kisses. It did not take long for their kisses and caresses to intensify and before long Jack was already hovering over Rose working his way down her neck.

"You'll be so tired tomorrow..."

"I don't care," he rasped back breathlessly, "It doesn't matter."

He was right, she thought. She never wanted the night to end because when it did, that meant morning had come, and if it were morning, that meant he was leaving in a few hours. Both secretly hoped the sun would take an eternity to rise. She wanted to be awake with him the whole night.

Yet at some point throughout the night, they had fallen asleep. But it was only a couple hours until Rose happened to stir at what sounded like someone moving furniture. It took her a half second to realize it must have been a distant rumble of thunder. Then her heart skipped a beat, thinking it was already morning. However, she could still see the stars glimmer the pitch black sky as rain continued to fall on the other side of the window. She sighed in relief, turning her attention to Jack. Seeing his handsome sleeping face so close to hers, she couldn't help but kiss him. No sooner did he awake to her showering kisses all over his face.

"Morning already?" he murmured in disappointment.

She kissed him on the mouth and whispered, "Not yet."

"Thank God." He wrapped his arm tightly around her, pulling her close to him. They made love again.

He let himself collapse into the sheets beside her. His chest rose and fell rapidly with his breathing, while he laid his head back over his folded arm. Rose turned into his side, settling herself against his chest and he put an arm around her.

All was still as they lay in each other's arms. It had stopped raining about a half hour ago. The only sound came from the drip-drop of rain dripping off their window sill. A hint of the rising sun appeared in the dimly lit sky from a distance. The early morning birds were beginning to make their wake too. Very shortly later did the first beams of light creep their way into their window, lighting up the wall opposite to it.

They quietly held one another without a twitch of a muscle. Occasionally, Jack would find himself drifting in and out of sleep. He felt peaceful, but deeper down, he was also anxious. This was his safe place, right there in Rose's arms. But he knew within a matter of minutes, they would have to tear apart from one another. Who knew when the next time would come for him to hold her like that again? He relished the moment.

He was the first to finally shatter the peaceful quiet. They couldn't drag it on any longer. No matter how much each had willed it to slow down, time was still ticking away.

"We should get up and shower. The kids'll be up soon and they'll be hungry."

"You're right."

She very unwillingly slid from the warm bed to her feet. She stood at the doorway in their room that led directly to the bathroom. Turning slightly, she arched her eyebrow at Jack. "What are you waiting for?" He smiled sleepily at her as he stood up, his sandy hair falling over his eyes as he crossed the room. The sight of him melted her heart. She had to fight the tears that threatened to fall when she turned back around. He'd wrapped his arms around her middle, walking with her to the bathroom while his lips found her neck. To think that in a few hours she would never see his wonderful face again for a long time.

Rose woke up the next morning after a restless night; memories of the night before had been flooding her mind so relentlessly that she barely slept. And she remembered everything with aching clarity.

She could feel dried up tears crusted at the corner of her eyes. She peeked at the bedside clock and saw it was still at least a half hour early from when the boys were expected to wake. Although still exhausted, her body felt the repercussions that resulted from having accumulated only a few hours' sleep in the past two nights combined with having been very active the day prior. And yet her mind was not willing to fall back to a slumber.

Just after swinging her feet over the edge of the bed, she immediately experienced a rush of blood to her head. She sucked in a quick breath and squeezed her eyes shut, pinching the bridge of her nose while waiting for the episode to pass. She remembered she hadn't had been able to stomach much the previous day and had been more active than usual with all the cleaning she undertook. Before long, Rose vaguely felt a slight headache make its presence known as she sat there. Orange juice Rose thought to herself as she stood and padded down the hall. Something sweet and hydrating was all that was on her mind at the moment to keep her malaise at bay. As the first of many mornings to follow without Jack there to help her get the morning started with the kids, it was not a good start.

Swallowing a half-cup, she refilled the rest and headed back upstairs to the tiny desk and chair in her bedroom. She wondered where in the country Jack was right now. All she knew was the train he had boarded was destined for a camp with the rest of the other new army recruits to get some preliminary military training. Staring at the small stack of blank sheets and the fountain pen, she knew what would pacify her and perhaps even raise her spirits.

Dearest Jack,

It was only yesterday morning that you parted. I'm writing to you so soon because I need to. Thank you kindly for the note you left me—it touched my heart.

It's early morning and the boys are still asleep. They've already expressed how they miss you when I tucked them in last night. It seems as though they have already forgotten what we told them about where you were going.

As for myself, I barely slept a wink last night. It doesn't feel real to me yet that you're gone… I can hardly believe that you won't be sleeping beside me tonight or the following nights. I never thought I would have to lie in that bed alone and I don't expect I will ever get used to it.

Please write as often as permissible for you, and I will as well.

Missing you dearly,

Rose

After jotting down the address, Rose dropped the pen and leaned back in her chair. With a heavy sigh, she took another sip of orange juice and let her mind wander. She thought back to all that had happened when they received the draft notice.

"Goddamn it," Jack murmured after reading the letter for the second time that night. He shoved it back on the coffee table. Fabrizio and Sophia left just not long ago to give Jack and Rose their privacy, but it was not without extending warm regards and heartfelt sympathies for the two. Rose found herself sitting on one end of the sofa with her knees hugged to her chest.

"What are we going to do?" she whispered.

Jack turned and glanced at her resigned face, her weary eyes staring straight ahead into space. He so wanted to tell her he could make things better, that there was a way out. But he knew that this time, it simple wouldn't be enough to tell her that they'd be ok. Instead, all he could manage doing was to take a seat next to her.

"Well I guess that's what it is then." Jack's voice penetrated the silence of Rose's thoughts.

She raised her head and looked at him sideways, eyebrows arched in uncertainty. "Can't we change our names? There has to be something."

He only closed his eyes and shook his head, silently accepting the duty he'd been called to.

"Well I did say it once before and I'll say it again: we can run away—"

Jack did not want to even rehash the idea. "Be serious, Rose."

"Oh, I am," she straightened up releasing him. Her resolve was reflected in her eyes. "There's at least a chance with that, Jack." A sense of urgency came with her tone as her mind played with the possibility.

Jack didn't like where this was going, but he couldn't blame her for thinking about it. He wished more than anything that he could grant her what she wanted, but he knew that was very well impossible. Ever patient, he softened his gaze, "You know we can't do that, Rose. It just isn't possible."

Growing frustrated with Jack's answers, she frowned and the discontent was clear in her tone. "Why?" she sat back exasperated. "Why couldn't we just disappear under another name and go on living our lives? At least then we'd all be together. And that's all I want; that's all I'll ever want, instead of being separated by this absurd war! With you halfway across the world, and the children and me here, not knowing what's happening with you, how you are, where you are… Don't you think this is the best option? Why is it so impossible?" Her eyes bore into his, craving any rational reasoning he had to offer.

"Why?" his tone matched hers. He didn't want to sound angry, but it had come out that way, his patience having worn thin. It was a combination of his desire to express all that he was thinking while reacting to his emotions. He stared up at the ceiling and let out a short, bitter chuckle. "I have more reasons than I ever realized before." His jaw set as he looked ahead. "One, it's much too risky. If I get caught, we're no worse off than we'd be with the risk of anything happening to me at war. Two, I spent six years living without any fixed address. I was happy with that lifestyle at the time and embraced the uncertainty that came with it, but all that's changed now. It hasn't been just the two of us for a while. With two small children, to pick up and start from scratch again is not a way to live."

"Our children are more resilient than what you give them credit for. I know it will take adjustments for all of us, but I think it's worth a shot if you weigh the benefits against risks." She hesitated and suddenly stood. "I can't believe you are not even considering that it might work!"

That's when Jack put his hand up in an action to calm her. "Rose, could you keep your voice down? You're going to wake th—"

"And I thought you—of all the people I've known—to be the last to have any objection to uprooting our lives to another place!"

He exhaled and closed his eyes momentarily. "Truthfully," he started slowly, "another reason is that I can't bring myself to cop out of the draft while other men—our friends, my best friend—are risking their lives for the rest of us. It'd be the most selfish thing I could do and I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I can't run away from that."

"So that's it?" she turned, seeming at a loss for words as she pressed the back of her hand to her forehead. "I can't believe you…" She faced him again in indignation. "How can do this? Why are we not the most important thing?"

"Rose." His eyes bore into hers. Surely she did not mean to truly think that. "You know you're everything to me; you and our boys."

She shook her head with chagrin. "And yet it's so easy for you to leave."

He frowned and was visibly wounded by her words. "Now you're being unfair." She turned away from him again, arms crossed.

Irked by her attitude and behaviour towards him, which he felt he deserved nothing of, now he was the one to get up on his feet. "You act like I want to leave," he blurted with unrestrained volume. "Why are you treating me like I'm someone who doesn't care when you know me better than that?"

She swiftly spun back around to face him. "Because you have a choice and you're choosing wrong," she revealed.

Both stood silently staring

Before long, Jack's scowl faded and he gave up on his confrontational posture, resolving to sit back on the couch. Staring at his hands, he finally said, "Thing is, I don't have a choice. Understand where I'm coming from," he glanced up at her briefly, and noticed her glower had also mitigated, before fixing his gaze ahead. "It's a matter of values and doing what you believe in." He appeared pensive, trying to articulate his exact thoughts. "Call it a sense of patriotic duty if you want. Look, there's no way of knowing how far this war will reach. All I know is we have to protect this land and our freedoms. My pop taught me that a long time ago." He paused and exhaled audibly. "I've put a lot of thought into this possibility… about how I would feel when this day would come."

Rose took her seat again next to him, allowing herself to take in what he was expressing. Her anger with him had already diffused after everything had been laid bare and off their chests. And she regretted some of the things she told him. She sensed his internal struggle that must have been plaguing his mind for quite some time.

He swallowed, "…Having to come to terms with this being our reality, now…" He trailed off, unable to finish. He frowned and pressed his lips together. "But it's what I have to do. And it's not easy," he added, referring to the words that had stung him earlier.

Rose then noticed for the first time how disheartened and tired he looked. In that moment she felt overcome with empathy for him. Rose realized that all the stressful things that had happened since the beginning of the whole mess surrounding the war had taken a bigger toll on Jack than he had allowed himself to show. Feeling her gaze on him, he turned to look back at her face. She spoke softly after a beat, "I'm sorry for what I told you earlier," she placed a hand on his arm. "I do know you, I know you care, and I know you never wanted this. I was so angry and I took it out on you. I never meant any of it."

"I know you didn't, you were upset."

"Still, I really shouldn't have said that."

"It's already water under the bridge." He placed his hand over hers. "But please tell me you understand," he began again, referring to what he had tried to explain prior.

She nodded grimly, "I do."

"And that you're OK with this," he added.

She hesitated. Her greatest fear over the past few months had essentially come to reality. "I can't tell you I'm fine with it all—"

"I mean that you're with me in all this," he quickly interrupted. "I'm tired of fighting over things we have no control over. I need you… I need to know you're with me. I don't want to spend the next few weeks we have left arguing."

"Jack," she placed a loving hand to his cheek, touched deeply by the emotions she realized had put him through, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to fight. I don't want to fight anymore either. Of course I'm with you."

Relieved, he kissed her open palm and felt her shift closer to him for an embrace that he realized he desperately needed.

"I love you so much," he murmured by her ear. And she felt the added meaning of the given context masked behind the simple phrase.

It simultaneously triggered a flood of emotions and frantic thoughts within Rose and she felt her eyes brim with hot tears. "I can't believe it—" she choked, unable to finish and clung to him tighter. She felt Jack's arms tighten too; his hands slid up and down her back to soothe her. She still could not even imagine that he would be gone in less than a month, though she'd had at least a couple of hours to digest the news. "This senseless war… None of it makes any sense!" she blurted in anguished sobs."…completely absurd…"

"Rose, Rose. Listen," he told her fiercely. "I hate to go; I hate it." He pulled away to meet her eyes. She could see how much this news was tearing him up inside. "But we have to get past this now and accept that it is."

Tears were streaming down her face. All remaining hope that she'd held on to all this time—that there was a way out of it all—was gone from Rose. Jack could sense her hopelessness. She gazed back into his watery eyes that revealed courage and wisdom beyond his years. "I just love you so much, I can't even think of losing you…"

"Don't say that," he murmured against her hair. He wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, as he usually had, but the truth was he didn't know. He didn't know what would happen to him and, consequently, what would happen to them.

Again, Rose looked up and saw his eyes; they could always calm her down. Yet, she needed more from him—a reassurance.

"I need you to promise me something," she placed a delicate hand on his cheek. He searched her face, urging her to continue. "I need you to promise me that you'll come back to me safely."

"Rose..." Soldiers died every day, he knew that much. He hated to think about that, but it was the awful truth he had to face. It wasn't something he could avoid, but it was a possibility.

"I'm not finished," she hushed him. "Whatever happens, don't try to be the brave one. Just be safe, Jack. Survive."

"It's not that easy, honey," he sympathized with her feelings, brushing the locks of hair away from her face.

"Please, Jack," she clutched his shirt, pleading with him. "Just promise me..." He could not refuse her. In her eyes he saw desperation. He knew he had to come back to her—whatever it took.

"Alright," he whispered shakily.

She saw the pain in his face. He really was trying his best to hide the extent of his troubles. So she told herself that after this, she try her very best to avoid crying in front of him; that would only make things harder on him. She would now be brave too, for Jack's sake and for the sake of their children who needed their mother.

Rose closed her eyes, trying to keep them from brimming over at the memory. But she was ever resolute to making it through the day with courage and without any more tears. With a deep breath, she reopened her eyes and stood to begin getting herself in order for the day. As she made her way to the bed and grabbed her pillow to put back in its place, she noticed the bed simply did not look as it should; the sheets on her side were worn in and wrinkled from the night's sleep while the side that was usually Jack's bore no evidence of a body occupying that space the night before. Pausing with a fistful of her pillow, Rose afforded herself a moment to take in the surroundings of her empty room in the daylight. Everything else looked as it should, despite the solidarity she now felt from the room that sent a shiver up her spine.

Then she saw what was left in a heap in the corner of the bedroom, Jack's shirt in which he liked to sleep. Jack had forgotten to store it back to its place in the wardrobe the morning of his departure, after his last night. For only the second time that day, Rose once again experienced the pangs of loneliness. She was beginning to find this would only be the start of a series of gut-wrenching moments triggered by the reminder of Jack's absence.

A/N: Don't be a stranger, review! :)