Dear West

Chapter 9:

April, 1991

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to commemorate the life and death of Gilbert Beilschmidt…"

January, 1975

He was idly writing out his letters when he glanced out the window only to see police cars and jeeps parked outside the building. Frowning he got up to take a closer look only to realize that the cars were all empty. Alarmed, he snatched the letter to Francis off his desk and his lighter to burn it. Then he ran out to towards the entrance of the apartment and he could hear the soldiers approaching.

Swearing in his head, he wondered how they'd managed to catch him so off guard. But there was no time to badger himself over such trivial things as he ran back into his room and reached into the birdcage and grabbed the bird and tore it out of its cage. The pigeon, shocked by the sudden grab, immediately began cooing and struggling within his grasp, trying to wriggle itself free.

Suddenly, without a single knock, he could hear his door being kicked down and snapped the bird's neck with his bare hand.

November, 1990

Stepping into the apartment, he looked around to see a familiar set of furniture. Nothing had changed since he was last there as a child and suddenly, it felt as though he'd never actually left. Looking around, it was obvious that someone had been in there, turning the place upside down. Drawers had been left opened, their contents strewn about, and the furniture broken. But despite the chaotic setting, he could still remember things as they'd been originally.

He walked into the kitchen where memos and grocery lists hung off magnets. He was surprised to see his old memos still there, written in his childish scribbles.

"If it's raining, please remember to bring your umbrella!"

The man had always left for work before they even woke up and so, unable to remind the other, he'd settled for writing a memo for him instead.

Turning away from the fridge, he looked to the living room which only had a couch. That'd been where they used to play all day and night. It was where they laughed, cried, argued, fought…

"Al took my crayons again!"

"Way to tattle!"

"A-Alf, you should give them back! I'll share mine with you!"

"No way! I don't want to share! I want my own! And you don't have a red one!"

"You had your own!"

"No I didn't! Liar!"

"Stop fighting, you two!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down kiddies! Here, I'll show you something awesome about crayons, and this only works with crayons. Look, if you snap them in half, you get two crayons! Now all of you can have your own, okay?"

"Awesome!"

"Wait, Al, you can't just keep snapping them!"

"But Mattie needs one too!"

A smile reached his lips as his memories resurfaced.

"To many of us, Gilbert was an invaluable brother, friend, confidant and even saviour. When he was with us, he joked and often times, made an idiot of himself for our sake. And even when he wasn't around, in his own way, he managed to reach us all and gave to us the same comfort and laughter he always had."

Dropping the dead bird onto the ground next to him, he watched as soldiers ran into his room. And the next thing he knew, he was sent flying to the floor. Rubbing his sore cheek, he looked up with a glare only to see a familiar smiling face. "Hello Gilbert."

Stepping into his room, he rubbed the back of his neck. Before the other kids came along, that room had been his and his alone. Though, he found it strange that he had no recollection of ever having it to himself even after all the other kids left for the west. He could remember having to sleep next to Feliciano who slept in between him and Lovino. Both of the brothers couldn't stand to sleep alone and the younger had grown attached to sleeping to the blond. The three of them normally took the lower bunk since Alfred had insisted on sleeping on the top.

Looking up, he could still feel the sympathy that he felt for Matthew for having to sleep in between the two lousiest sleepers possible. Alfred loved to pull and kick at things in his sleep while Peter rolled all over the place; if it wasn't for the railing, the boy probably would've hurt himself several times with his antics. He couldn't help but wonder how Matthew ever managed to get any sleep at all.

"…And now, I would like to invite his brother, Ludwig, up here to share a few words with us."

He shook his head in disbelief, a groan escaping his lips, "you can't be serious…"

From the side, one of the soldiers picked the bird up, "it's dead, sir."

The Russian man's eyes opened threateningly though his smile never faded, "Well that doesn't help us at all, now does it? I guess the only way we'll be able to find out now is through you, Gilbert. I'm a little disappointed that your struggling has to come to such an abrupt end. You know just how much I enjoyed watching it."

"Hm? Who said the show was over," he managed to ask before raising his arms to shield himself against one of the soldier's punches. A moment later, they were both swearing as he cradled his broken watch and wrist and the officer his bloodied fist.

Studying his room, he suddenly remembered why he had no memories of spending his nights alone.

"What's the matter, Lui? Can't sleep? I guess you're used to having Feli around, hm? Not to worry! Here, you can hop in with me, I'll try not to wake you when I get up in the morning, okay?"

A wave of nostalgia hit him and his feet began moving on their own, carrying him to the place he least wanted to be.

It would be the place where he'd find out whether he was right or wrong in his anger.

It would be the one place where he'd learn the truth behind those months of anticipation and disappointment.

It would be the place where he'd find everything out.

"Thank you…I wish I had more to say but most of what I know about Bruder, I learnt second hand. I never knew him as a child, I never knew him as a friend…but I did know him as my Bruder. Ever since our parents left us, he'd raised and taken care of not only me, but five other children. I remember how he always brought weird things home with him, if it wasn't a stuffed panda, it was a toy car. Maybe it's because of his patience or the fact that he was always out, working to provide for us that I never realized that he was still just a child himself…"

Wincing, he tried to curl up into a ball and rolled onto his side when another kick was delivered to his stomach. Ivan motioned for the other officers to stand down for a moment as he leaned his, a hand cupping his ear, "Sorry, I didn't hear that, what were you trying to ask?"

Taking in a shaky breath, he looked up, "how'd you find out?"

The Russian clapped his hands happily, "I was hoping you'd ask that. Bring her in."

He stepped into the room and looked at how everything was in disarray. There were dark stains all over and yellowed paper strewn about. The first thing he looked at was the wall where all their letters and notes were pinned up. Though some hof them ad been torn down, he could still see many of his old letters there.

Dear East,

Canada and America came over to play today. It was raining out but we got permission to go outside. America accidentally pushed Canada into a puddle and he began crying even though he's the one who did the pushing. Afterwards, Austria came out with tortes for everyone and that one piece of hair curled weirdly when we all complimented him. I hope you remembered your umbrella when you left for work in the morning.

Love,
West

"To me, Bruder has only ever made three promises. And though I thought that he'd broken all of them, I regret ever having doubted him since I realize now that he's kept each and every single one of them."

Red eyes widened when he heard a woman's yelling enter the room. Craning his neck to look as best as he could, he could hear himself mutter in disbelief, "no, no-no-no-no-no, how did this happen? Verdammt…Lars is going to kill me in the afterlife…"

The drawers on the desk had been taken out and their content ripped and thrown around the room. And underneath the desk was a small pile of bones. Blinking, he crawled under and retrieved it.

It was a bird's; the same bird that had always delivered everyone's messages to Gilbert. It was the same bird that'd allowed the two of them to communicate. It was the bird that'd never failed them before and yet, had been reduced to nothing but a pile of broken bones in his hands.

Getting up, he placed the bones gently on the windowsill and continued his survey. He cleared the top layer of unrecognizable items off the desk and blinked at one of the pieces of paper that was addressed to him.

Dear West,

Happy birthday! I'm sorry, I know I've been taking a long time to get back to you, but I've been busy lately. Everything's been really hectic over here. But I'd never forget about your birthday, especially with my awesome memory! I can't believe it's been over 4 years since I last saw you, you must've grown up tons since then! Who knows? Maybe we'll get to see each other very soon…

The letter stopped abruptly, with the tail of the last 'n' trailing off the page.

"His first promise was to wish me a happy birthday every year without fail. And up until the year he died, he kept that promise."

The woman was struggling fruitlessly against the soldier's grip, "Let go of me!" She froze when she saw him, "oh my god…"

"Hello to you too," he managed to croak out with a weak smile.

"Well I see we're all acquainted already, so there's no need for introductions, да?"

Suddenly, he could feel himself shrinking, reverting back to the Ludwig who'd lived there with his older brother twenty years ago. Rereading the incomplete letter, he tightened his grip on the piece of paper, crumbling the edges with his fingers. Looking around, he could see how it all used to be when he lived there, all once upon a time.

"Hey Lui, are you and the kiddies alright? It's getting cold. Here, take my blankets…aw, don't look at me like that. Fine, fine, let's do it this way, we'll bring all the blankets to the living room and have a big sleepover, alright?"

"Lui, I've got a present for you! Check it out, I got Lars to get it for me from the black market!"

"You brought another weird thing home again, didn't you, Bruder?"

"What do you mean 'another weird thing'? Those pandas were essential! …for something! But that's not what I got. Look, it's a remote-control car, isn't it cool? Here, give it a spin around the place!"

He could remember how excited he'd been, standing there in hand-me-downs that were a little too big for him, playing with the illegally bought toy. He could remember the happy grin his brother had on his face when he presented the gift to him.

His breath hitched as he muttered the name he'd tried so hard to forget, "Bruder…"

"His second promise was that one day, we'd be on the same side of the wall together. And with the fall of the Berlin Wall, after all these years, we've finally been reunited."

The girl opened her mouth, "I just…"

He shook his head.

He didn't want to hear why she did it. He already had a good notion as to why and he didn't want to have his suspicions confirmed. Ivan continued smiling, "thanks to this girl, our little game of chase has ended. And it looks like I won, doesn't it, Gilbert? She's told us everything. And now we have no further use for her." He motioned for the soldiers to leave, "take her away."

Green eyes widened, "what? You said you'd let broer go!"

The Russian merely tilted his head curiously, "Broer?"

"Bruder, I'm sorry," he could feel all the anger he'd felt as a child melt away as he dried his tears with his sleeve. Still stuck in his reverie, he balled his fists up as he tried to hold his sobs back. Even now, he could feel the other's presence in the room.

"What's up Lui? Did something happen? Come on now, there's no need to cry, just tell your Bruder what happened and he'll make it better! Aw, cheer up, it couldn't have been that bad! Did you break something? I'm sure it'll be fixable! Did you hurt yourself? I'm sure it'll heal! Did you have a nightmare? I'm sure it'll go away! As long as I'm here, you've got nothing to worry about!"

Expecting to hear the comforting words of his brother yet knowing that it was impossible, he merely stood there with his choked sobs. "Bruder…"

"His third promise was to always watch over me…and even now, I know he's nearby, keeping an eye on all of us because Bruder always keep his words…"

One of the soldiers leaned in and whispered something into the man's ear, "oh yes…I remember now…take her away."

The blonde continued to struggle against her captors, "Where's broer? Let me see him! You told me he was still alive!"

"Hm? Did I? Then maybe you'll see him in jail then…but I doubt it," the Russian let out a dark chuckle.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered to himself before pushing himself up with his good arm and throwing himself into the girl's captors.

Shots rang out.

Surprised at his sudden action, the captors loosened their grip enough for her to break free. And despite the burning in his lungs from where a few bullets had pierced, he managed to rasp to the girl, "run!"

Wide eyed, Bella did as she was told and disappeared down the hall as he was held down by the men he'd knocked over. Ivan immediately sent out more orders, "follow her. Find her and arrest her. She should know better than to run away from authoritative figures like ourselves." The man then turned to him, and though he could only make out a faint outline of the Russian, his sight blurring from bloodloss, he could practically feel the cold smile on the other's lips. "That was a very bad idea, Gilbert. Now, what shall we do with you?"

He wasn't sure how much time had passed before he finally calmed himself down. He moved and sat on the bed, legs no longer dangling as they used to. Regaining his composure and returning to his present state of mind, he took a deep breath and looked around to see if he'd missed anything. Spotting the undisturbed wardrobe in the corner of the room which was once their grandmother's; he walked over and opened it and flipped open the secret opening in the door.

"Lui, if you ever need money or anything, I keep all my important stuff in here, okay? It's a secret compartment, pretty awesome, isn't it?"

Inside the door, his eyes widened as a familiar grin came into view.

"Someone once told me that being an older sibling meant making sacrifices. And Bruder's made so many for me...for us. I don't know what propelled him to do it, but it's thanks to him and the life he gave up that so many of us are able to be here now with our families and friends. I owe everything I have now to Bruder."

"I could kill you right here, right now and no one would ever find your rotting corpse…or I could take you into custody and have you experience what your little friend went through before he died. Would you like that, Gilbert? Would you like to know what happened to that girl's brother?"

He remained silent, his breathing becoming laboured.

"I'll take your silence as a yes then," he motioned for the officers around him to seize him, "let's get him to the car and stop his bleeding. We still need him alive, for now."

In front of him were pictures, all taped up. In the center was a group shot of them all when they were still living there. And around that were several different ones of the boys and of Gilbert when he was younger…there was Alfred's confident grin, Matthew's timid smile, Lovino's pouty frown, Peter's happy grin, Feliciano's sleepy look and his blank stare. To the side, there was Elizabeta and Gilbert climbing up their tree fort, both looking very much like boys. And at the top, there was a single photo of him and his brother, both grinning at the camera.

And he couldn't help but smile at the sight of that.

Finally, he'd reacquainted himself with the Bruder he'd lost so long ago…taking the letter out, he unrolled the piece of paper, the action still so familiar to his fingers.

"There are many things I wish I'd said to Bruder when I still had the chance to. I wish I'd thanked him for everything he'd done for me. I wish I'd apologized for ever being mad at him, and for doubting him. I wish I'd told him how much he meant to me and that he was, as he would've put it, the awesome-est Bruder in the world."

As the soldiers pulled him away by the back of his shirt, he could only stare at the desk where he'd been sitting and writing but a short while ago. He could hear the Russian giving orders to search the apartment and still, all he could think of was that letter on the desk and the boy who was supposed to be receiving it. He let his head hang limply as he was taken away, "sorry West…"

Once he finished reading, he went around and carefully gathered up the pictures and the incomplete letter. And before leaving, he quickly made another round to ensure that he wasn't forgetting anything important, it was simply another habit he'd picked up from his brother. Then finally standing at the door, he took a final look back at the place he used to live in. It took a moment to realize that he was standing where his brother used to when he left for work in the morning.

"Well I'm off Lui, keep an eye on the kiddies, alright? I'll be back before you know it!"

It felt strange being the one to leave the apartment.

He couldn't help but take another glance at the place, and he could've sworn that for a moment, his brother was standing there, grinning and waving goodbye at him.

Smiling nostalgically, he closed the door behind him as he left.

"I'm proud-no, honoured to have had him for a Bruder. So…thank you for taking care of me for all those years and for giving me the life I have now. And please continue watching over me from wherever you are…may you rest in peace…Bruder."

Dear West,

If you're getting this letter then I suppose I didn't get past the second step after I hit one of those flaws. But that's okay since, as I've told you, flaws happen and some are just more severe than others. I'm sorry if I hurt you though…you were probably upset when I didn't write you back. Hungary and them probably tried to reason with you and it probably didn't work.

But that's fine.

It's fine if you're mad at me. It's fine if you don't understand. I mean, you're still young. You've still got a whole lifetime ahead of you to understand so there's no need to rush. I'd rather you get angry at me and move on with your life than to have you lingering around in the past, all caught up in anxiety and regrets and stuff. By the way, I asked them not to tell you about any of this until they were sure I'm not around anymore so don't blame them, okay?

I don't know how old you are now but I'm sure you've grown up to be an awesome kid. And whether you forgive me or not, know that your Bruder's proud of you and loves you very much. So take care of yourself and make sure you grow up into an awesome guy, alright?

Love,
East

Nya~

Another fanfic complete! Next one on the line's going to be another FACE family one. I can only seem to write family fics for Hetalia...don't know why but oh well. Hope you had as good a time reading this fic as I did writing it! Thank you lots to reviewers, your encouragment was greatly appreciated! Love you all lots and enjoy!

Epilogue:

January, 1992

"Ludwig, are you sure you want to be here on your birthday? I'm sure he'd understand if you didn't want to..."

He shook his head, "this is the perfect place to spend part of the day. It's thanks to him that I'm able to celebrate my birthday like this, and besides, I'd like to spend this birthday with Bruder close by."

They'd gathered around the grave excitedly, each with a balloon in their hand and a note tied to the balloon. Feliciano smiled as he turned to him, "Ve, Ludwig, I bet Gilbert would've loved this!"

Alfred nodded enthusiastically and pumped his fist into the air, "Yea, it's super awesome!"

"Alfred! Really lad, how many times have I told you to stop using that word?"

Francis chuckled and wrapped an arm around the Englishman, noting casually, "Mon ami, I do recall you commenting on my ability to rear children a few years ago…yet here we are, ton Alfred et mon Mathieu…" he began idly examining his fingernails, "I think it's clear who won that fight, rosbif."

"You bloody frog, I'll show you a thing or two about winning!"

"D-don't you guys think fighting in a cemetery's a little disrespectful?"

The Frenchman shot his son a smile, "We're not fighting, mon cher. I would never fight in front of dear Gilbert's grave though he's probably used to it by now; actually, I think he'd be quite entertained."

Antonio laughed and nodded in agreement, "I bet he's having a lot of fun by himself like he always does right now!"

"We came here for a reason, so Arthur, Francis, stop arguing, you idiots!"

Elizabeta rolled up her sleeves threateningly, "that's right, there'll be a new grave here if you don't stop. We're in a cemetery, there are other people here paying their respects!"

Ludwig nodded in agreement, noticing a familiar looking woman kneeling in front of a grave nearby. Deciding to walk over to apologize to her for their rowdiness, he couldn't help but notice the name engraved onto the gravestone. The woman had looked up, "hallo…"

Lars…

It was the same name as the man his Bruder used to work with. Walking beside her, he spoke softly, "I'm sorry if we're disturbing you…maybe it was a bad idea bringing them here…"

The blonde shook her head, "no, it's alright. It makes the atmosphere around here a little less glummy."

There was a pause, "I hope you don't mind me asking but did your…"

"Broer," she filled in for him, "Lars was my older brother."

"Did he happen to work in a small restaurant in the east?"

Green eyes widened as she turned to him, "ja, he did…did you know broer?"

Ludwig rubbed the back of his neck gingerly, "not directly…but my Bruder did. They worked together, I believe. I should probably pay my respects to him for helping Bruder out."

The woman wrung her hands nervously, "was your broer by any chance, Gilbert?"

It was his turn to stare at her in surprise, "ja, that's Bruder." Suddenly, he remembered Francis telling him about the girl whose brother was caught and who went to his brother for help. "…would you like to join us…?"

"Bella," she shook her head, "and sorry, I don't think I should."

"Ludwig," he politely shook the woman's hand.

"West, right?"

He raised a brow, "I take it you met Bruder, then?"

She dipped her head, suddenly finding her shoes fascinating, "j-ja, I've met him…I was also there when he got caught by those soldiers…"

Blue eyes widened, he wanted to ask more but the expression on the blonde's face was clearly begging him not to. "So you were there…"

Suddenly, Lovino's voice called out to him, "hey, stupid jerk! Get back over here!"

Bella pursed her lips and spoke hastily, "you should probably get back to your friends."

He was about to when a thought struck him. He wondered if the woman was there all alone, a nagging voice in the back of his mind told him that she probably was and that he should help her out somehow. After all, her brother had been there to keep his brother company so the least he could do was return the favour. "I know you said no, but why don't you join us for lunch? It's fine, you don't have to tell us what happened, we won't pry. I promise."

The blonde shook her head, "your broer saved me that day-"

"So he saved you too…that's good enough of a reason, right? In that group over there, a lot of us were saved by Bruder as well, so you might as well join us. I'm sure Bruder would've insisted you come so that we could see the full extent of his...awesome-ness."

Finally, she gave in, and with a faint smile, nodded.

Making their way back, she introduced herself to the other characters there. Francis immediately shot her a charming smile as he greeted her, "bonjour. I'm glad you decided to join us, ma chère."

The blond was immediately yelled at by the Englishman. "Stop flirting! The poor girl just got here, you wine bastard!"

"Mathieu! Look at how this brute is treating your poor papa!"

"What are you talking about? You saw him, right, Alfred? He was being indecent!"

The Roderich stepped in, hands on his hips as he scolded them, "You idiots! Stop fighting immediately!"

Elizabeta shook her head as she made her way towards the other girl, "ignore them. We really are glad you joined us though."

Bella merely sighed with mock-exasperation, eyes lighting up a bit, "it's only because Gilbert would've insisted. And broer probably wouldn't have been very happy with me if I'd said no. It's my last day in this country anyways, so I might as well."

Peter looked over, "Where will you be going?"

"W'll you b'needin' 'ny help?"

She shrugged, "I don't know yet. I don't have a job or anything yet so I guess I'm just going to wing it."

"If you're interested," Antonio mentioned offhandedly, "I happen to be in need of another helper with my tomatoes in Spain, and I'm sure Lovi would be more than happy to have such a pretty lady around, it might actually motivate him to work."

"Shut up! I do plenty of work, you stupid jerk!"

The blonde grinned, looking a little more lively now, "that's quite an offer and I think I'd be quite happy myself, working with such a cute boy like him, but I'll have to think about it for a bit."

Lovino's face reddened as he blurted out, "¡b-besamé!"

They watched as the woman's confused expression turned into laughter. "Would a kiss on the cheek do?" Ludwig figured she probably hadn't laughed or joked around in a long time since she immediately offered an embarrassed grin afterwards.

The older twin began twiddling with his sleeves, "I…yea…damn it…!"

"Lovino? What's with you? I've never seen you like this before! You're acting all shy and stuff, you look like a tomato and that's probably the first time I've ever heard you use the Spanish I taught you," the Spaniard let out, a little annoyed, as the rest of the group began laughing.

Feliciano looked over at him with a smile, "hey Ludwig?"

"Ja?"

"Are you having a happy birthday?"

He smiled and nodded, "ja, I am. Danke."

Later, Alfred clapped his hands together and got everyone's attention, "Okay, let's do this! Everybody's here and ready, right? Let go on the count of three! One, two, three!"

Ludwig watched as the balloons flew upwards into the clear blue sky with their messages attached. After they became nothing more than dots in the sky, he turned back to the group and began leading them away. "I believe it's time for lunch. Come on, let's go…"

"Dear East,

I hope you're being awesome up there as well.

Thank you for everything.

Love,
West"