A/n: Look, I'm "alive". I don't know, I wanted to write some epic Loveless fic about Ritsuka turning into Seimei and this shit is what I came up with because my life has fallen apart at the seams… If it's shit, sorry.

Disclaimer: If I owned Loveless I would have written the fucking 9th volume already!

'He's starting to look just like Seimei.'

The thought strikes hard and fast and though Soubi wants to deny that Ritsuka will ever be like Seimei, and that Ritsuka is his own person, Soubi cannot help but admit that Ritsuka is turning into his beloved big brother a little more each day.

He doesn't hurt with fists or feet or blades, he hurts with words and tones and neglect. He is a pacifist in actions but his tongue cuts Soubi deeper than Seimei's knife ever could reach.

Soubi could handle it if Ritsuka berated him, called him worthless or weak or foolish; but Ritsuka hurts him in the kindest, cruelest of ways. Plugs up his ears, silences and negates the effects of what Soubi's whole being cries out: I love you Ritsuka.

He refuses to hear it, and every time he calls Soubi a liar it hurts a little more.

Still Soubi smiles his not-quite-a-smile-but-I'm-trying twitch of the lips and says the words one more time, as if saying them over and over will give them the weight and validity Ritsuka needs believe them, believe him.

It never works, and Ristuka just ends up looking more and more like Seimei, more detached, more aloof, and so very bitingly cold. Still Soubi "smiles". After all, Seimei is perfect, isn't he? Seimei is god.

End: I had such high hopes for this… I'm glad I finally put some ending to it, but so disappointed that it's so vague and half-assed…