Oh, how I love unique pairings. This one was a challenge to write.
Sorry, Abra, I kind of skimmed around the prompt. And no kissing. I'm trying to keep it at least a little realistic.
So I just crammed a crack omake at the end.

Law had never, in his entire time in the rough seas, met anyone like Nami.

After all, not anyone could coerce the feared Dark Doctor into carrying bags and bags and bags of clothes and other girly accessories without actually using any physical force.

"And I'm really glad that everyone's back, too, you know." Nami continued talking, although Law was hardly paying attention. "I was almost expecting Zoro to get lost, but whaddya know, he actually found his way back! Amazing!"

"Mmhm." Law nodded vaguely.

"All of us can't thank you enough for watching over Luffy while... you know." Nami motioned with a hand.

"It was no trouble at all." Law smiled sinisterly, leering at Nami beneath several colorful bags of purchases. Nami took no notice of his ominous stare.

"And it was so sweet of you to offer to carry my shopping bags!" Nami said brightly. "Especially since you'd rather get back to your own crew, I'm sure."

"I don't mind." Law lied.

"Oh. My. Gosh." Nami stopped in her tracks and Law nearly bumped into her. He looked at her questioningly, but she didn't turn around. Without warning, the navigator went off sprinting down the street.

Law sighed through his nose and went after her at a much more leisurely pace. He eventually caught up to her, in front of a massive display window bearing neon signs screaming discounts and half-prices.

"Can you believe it, Law? That dress costs only half of what it's worth!" Nami's eyes sparkled as she admired the clothes, her hands pressed up against the glass.

"Astounding." Law dryly said.

Nami regarded Law from the corner of her eyes. She frowned. "Hm. You know, if Robin still wasn't holed up with Luffy's dad, I wouldn't have even taken you with me."

"Then, please explain, why you decided to dub me as your personal pack mule." Law politely said. He dumped the bags on the sidewalk unceromoniously, several items spilling out. Nami's hands twitched.

"Chopper is trying to help Usopp get rid of all that blubber. Sanji is still recovering from his traumatic ordeal. Zoro has awful fashion sense. Franky is too busy blowing stuff up with the new tech he found. Brook- no, forget about him. So who else was going to carry my things?"

Nami leaned in closer to Law, closer than anyone with any sense would have dared to. She smiled right in his face, her expression dangerous. Law returned the stare, his smile equally blank.

"Without even considering that my arms and back might get tired?" Law asked.

"You're a doctor, aren't you? You can fix yourself." Nami answered in a low voice, taking another step foward. Law hardly blinked, but his foot slid back a few inches.

What was up with Strawhat and his crazy crewmates? Seriously, this chick screamed listen-to-me-or-I'll-kick-your-ass.

So Law did his most natural reaction. He flipped Nami off.

For a split second, Nami looked surprised, but she grabbed Law's wrist and her smile grew wider. "Get back to work, pack mule."

Law chuckled. "Of course, Miss Nami."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"You're quite perspective."

"I might have to start up a debt for you. Then you can have something in common with the rest of my nakama!" Nami cheerfully said.

"Have you forgotten? I'm your enemy, Miss Nami." Law said.

"Then why have you been hanging around our crew so long, hm?"

"Merely to confirm that your captain won't die."

"Aw, you're so loving and compassionate."

Law grabbed Nami's other wrist with his free hand and pulled her in closer. He smiled devishly. "You have no idea, Miss Nami."

Nami inhaled sharply and stared defiantly into Law's eyes. After a few brief moments of silence, she finally pulled herself away.

"You're picking them up." Nami said, motioning to her shopping bags that Law had dropped on the ground.

"Nah. I'm tired." Law yawned, folding his arms behind his head.

"Now, pack mule." Nami's eyes glinted, her lips twitching. Law pushed his cheek out with his tongue and scratched the back of his neck. Slowly, he began to gather the bags and loaded them into his arms.

Not because he wanted to, or anything.

-X-

Omake

-X-

"DAMMIT, LAW, GIVE ME MY CHEST BACK!"

"Why, Miss Nami, you're looking quite-"

"Don't even say it, you bastard! This isn't funny!"

"Return my hat, and perhaps we can make a negotiation."

"Just put them back where they belong, and I won't have to kick your ass."

"First, my hat."

"..."

"Well, Miss Nami?"

"Can't you get a new hat? I like this one."

"Well, I like this breast, so I think we've come to a disagreement."

"YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!"