Winter time in...whatever city that this story is supposed to take place. Some kids had just made a snowman with all the traditional snowman features. A hat was blown into their area by a highly ironic gust of wind.

"Hey, look a hat!" Billy said as he ran over and picked it up.

"No shit, just put it on this thing so we can go, I'm freezing here." Sally said as she shivered.

"Shut up, whore!" Billy placed the hat on the snowman's head.

With the power of magic, the snowman came to life and started to dance a bit, scaring the crap out of the children. "Hi there children! I'm Frosty the Fuckin' Snowman! Follow me!" He said happily as he marched down the road.

A blast of energy came down from the sky and exploded, melting Frosty immediately. Iron Man flew down and picked up the hat.

"I am Iron Man, and snowmen don't talk." He tossed the hat away and flew off into the distance.

Now the hat, somehow being magical, flew towards a statue of a monster that was nearby a school. It landed on top of the thing's head and brought it to life. The monster marched towards the kids and growled right before eating them all.