Mai Hime doesn't belong to me, thanks Rhythia deLoux for beta'ing this chapter.

Lips which I have Loved

Chapter Two—Natsuki

I suppose it would be easy enough to let the past stay in the past. I feel that though, if I am to truly let it go, I have to understand what it is that I've forgiven, Shizuru.

The last thing I wanted to do was ask Yukino, because in some ways I blame her more than I do you. One could attribute your actions to a mixture of love sickness, raging teenage hormones and the extreme power you wielded. Not that it's excusable, but it gives reason.

On the other hand, Yukino completely had the power to stop you. Seriously, she could have spoken through Diana; a well timed "Hey guys, we're looking for you" might have saved us all from the shit that was to follow.

Why she was looking for either of us, I don't know, but when she found us what did she do? She not only let it happen, she watched, and then when it was convenient, she used it as leverage against you. She always acts so innocent and mousy, but after that I could no longer respect her.

That's why it was very difficult to not throttle her neck when I finally bit the bullet and asked her. She was home alone when I knocked on her door and demanded the truth. She really did not want to tell me about it, but I waited her out. I was not leaving until I got an answer.

"Can I just give you the short version?" She asked without looking at me. Her face was beet red. "There are things that I can't say out loud?"

That made me panic.

"What the fuck?" I swore. "Should I just draw you a picture of myself naked and ask you where she touched me?"

"Nononono! Sorry, it's not that!" She explained. "I'm just not comfortable with ah…ah…sexual language"

I was not any more relieved to hear that, but I just wanted her to get on with the story so I told her to say as much as she could.

"Well. She kissed you, and ah…she got on top of you without any clothes…" I don't know how her face managed to get any redder, but it did as she continued. "and she-she touched herself…"

"And then…" I said expectantly. My arms were crossed.

"Then she took a shower."

That's it? Actually, that's pretty gross, but at that moment Shizuru, I respected you a little bit more in a perverse way. I was completely vulnerable, you were on the edge of going crazy and you still held yourself back.

So what's next? It's been two months since we died in each others arms then awoke again. I told you that the past is the past, but have my actions conveyed those words? I wonder because you've become more distant to me. Perhaps it is your feelings for me that have changed? Have you decided that because I'm not your lover, that you don't want me as a friend either?

I have a week to decide if our friendship is worth saving. You've planned a weekend getaway at your family's summer house for all the former Hime.

I don't know if I'll be going even though it may be the last time I'll get to see you before you leave for college.

I do forgive you, Shizuru, but perhaps it is just time to let you go.

To be continued in "Desired Constellation"