For those of you who are paying attention to the calendar, it has been exactly five years since Twilight aired meaning it has been exactly five years since Kate died. This is my tribute to her memory. I am really rather proud of it.
Disclaimer: Shakes head no
Spoilers: Twilight, Judgment Day, Aliyah, Kill Ari…
"Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death."
Unknown
Timothy McGee woke up early on Monday morning just as he always did. On reflex he sat up and looked at the calendar. The date read the twenty fourth of May. Tim closed his eyes and fell back on his pillows. Today was the day. Today was the anniversary of Kate's death. He sat back up and walked over to the typewriter. His fingers started to type without instruction and his mind started to drift.
MAY 24 2006
It was a dark day in the bullpen. Today was a day they had all wished would never come. It was the day that marked exactly a year since their friend and teammate had been gunned down without mercy or hesitation on the part of the killer. They had all known months in advance that this day was going to be long and painful but they had also thought they would all be together. They weren't. Gibbs was off in Mexico.
Tony and McGee had been sitting in the bullpen with their heads in there hands. Finally they both got up and walked towards the elevator. Neither spoke a word as they descended or as they exited the elevator and started down the hall.
The door to Abby's lab was closed, which was very unusual for her. Tony reached for the handle but McGee stopped him. "Abby," McGee asked, "Can we come in?"
"It's unlocked," Abby replied flatly. The two boys exchanged looks. McGee opened the door slowly and looked in the room. Abby had her head in her hands and pictures both of Kate and drawn by Kate scattered around her desk. Abby didn't even look up as the other two entered or took seats on either side of her. "I miss her," Abby mumbled into her hands.
"I know," Tim said putting a hand on Abby's back and rubbing gentle circles.
"I thought the pain would dull over time," Abby said lifting her head to looked at the other two.
"You two were really close," Tony said gently. "It is going to hurt for a long time."
"She was my best friend," Abby replied, "but you guys were close too. Does it still hurt?"
"She was my partner. I was supposed to protect her and instead I watched as she was shot down right in front of me," Tony told the other two, "I will never forget those moments as longs as I live."
"I don't know exactly what she was to me," McGee admitted, "she wasn't my best friend or my partner but she meant the world to me. She was there every time something went wrong and she always knew what I need to hear."
They all lapsed into a silence, but they were all thinking about the same thing. They were thinking about their fallen friend. They weren't the only ones.
In a little coastal house south of the boarder Leroy Jethro Gibbs sat with a bottle of bourbon in his hand. He may have left DC but it had not escaped his memory that today was the day that marked a year since Kate's death. She had taken that first bullet for him but he had not been able to save her. He would give anything in the world for Ari to have shot him and Kate to still be alive today, but alas there were no such powers on this earth.
MAY 24 2007
Tony, Tim, Abby, Gibbs, and Ducky all stood together in Abby's lab having been gathered by Tony for an announcement. "Can everyone meet at this bar tonight?" he asked handing out strips with the address.
There was a chorus of yeses. No one asked why Tony wanted to go to that specific bar. They only knew that it had something to do with Kate because it was that day again, the day that remembered the loss of someone near and dear to each of their hearts.
They had all arrived at the bar by six o'clock that evening and together they made their way inside and sat down at a bar. Each one ordered a drink as they sat down at the bar and then they turned to Tony.
"Why here?" Abby asked him. "There are dozens of bars in the DC area. Why this one?"
"Turn around," Tony told them and they all obliged. They found themselves staring at a wall of photos.
"What is that?' McGee asked in wonderment.
"It's something we came up with a couple of years ago," the bar tender explained as all five turned to face him, "It is a wall of photo's of law enforcement that have been killed in the line of duty. It is our way of paying tribute to those who give their lives for their county on their own soil."
"Can we put someone's photo up there?" Abby asked tentatively.
"Of course if their law enforcement," the bar tender replied. Tony placed a framed picture of Kate on the table. "Is that Caitlin Todd?" the bar tender asked looking at the photo.
"Yes," Tim replied, "Did you know her?"
"Yea I did she came in here about once a week for two years," he explained, "we talked about her job and her team. I take it that would be you guys."
"I'm Tony DiNozzo," Tony said shaking the bar tender's hand, "her partner."
"Nice to meet you Tony," he replied, "I'm Henry." The others all introduced themselves and shook hands with Henry too. "When was she killed?" he asked.
"Two years ago today," Gibbs answered.
"Let's put her picture up," Tony said after a moment of silence. The others nodded him and followed him over to the wall. Gently he hooked her picture on an empty nail and they stood back to look at it.
When they returned to their seat Henry had their drinks waiting for them. "These are on the house tonight," Henry told them, "for Caitlin."
"To Kate," Abby said lifting her glass in a toast.
"To Kate," they all repeated as glasses clinked.
MAY 24 2008
Three years. It had been three years since Kate had died and once again they were separated by many miles from the ones they needed on this day. Tony was in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean on a navy ship. The rest of them were home.
McGee had snuck out of the basement to sit with Abby in her lab. Abby was as she had been in years previous, deeply saddened by this day but then again they all were. There was really only one person who had ever known the words to say to all of them to make things okay and that was Kate.
She had always known what they needed to hear, but she was not here anymore. On any other day they could get by and just remember the happy times with her but none of the five of them had ever been able to survive this day with out the painful memories bubbling to the surface. They all dealt with in their own way.
Abby and McGee dealt with it by spending time together and talking about time they had spent with Kate. They also spent time flipping through Kate's sketchbook, which Gibbs had given to Abby several years ago. They never ran out of things to talk about when they were talking about Kate because she had been so much a part of both of them.
Gibbs dealt with it in a much different way. He preferred to be alone, at least this year. He still carried around the guilt from Kate's death and now he had a new guilt. The guilt of Jenny's death now rested on his shoulders too. They were his girls. He had meant to protect both of them and failed in both cases. He would never forgive himself for either one of their deaths
Tony was hundreds of miles away from the others but his mind was focus on the exact same thing as the others. Tony didn't like being alone today. Sadly he walked down the hall to the kitchen. He got himself a plate of whatever they heck it was that was for breakfast that morning and sat down with his friends Andrew and Samuel.
"You look down," Andrew commented.
"My partner died three years ago today," Tony told them, "I usually spend the anniversary of her death with my teammates and we talk about her."
"You can talk to us about her," Samuel offered, "we aren't you team but we are good listeners."
"Yea what was she like?" Andrew asked.
"She was great," Tony began. "She looked kind of like one of those perfect little Catholic school girls at first but she was really tough once you go to know her. She didn't take crap from anyone. I teased her about a lot of things, but I think she knew I only did it because I cared about her. She was like a sister to me. I would have done anything for her. I would have died for her, but she was gunned down by a sniper right in front of me. There was nothing I could do for her."
"She sounds like a great girl," Samuel said.
"She was," Tony said with a sigh and a smile.
MAY 24 2009
They were all together this year…sort of. This year once again found McGee and Abby sitting in the lab talk and playing video games. They were starting to understand that this day didn't have to be a day of mourning. It could be a day where they had fun and remembered Kate fondly. That was a lesson time had taught them.
Gibb spent this year down in autopsy with Ducky. Ducky told rambling stories about experiences with Kate and for once Gibbs didn't stop him. He just sat on one of the tables and listened to Ducky's stories about his agent. Ducky had long ago learned the lesson that time would dull the pain and allow remember only the good parts. Gibbs was still working on that. He still blamed himself for Kate's death and he had to let that go before he could move on completely. Even so he was more than half way there.
Tony sat up on the roof of the building. He had come up her with Kate sometimes. It had been their place where they went when one of them needed help or advice. It had always been a sort of haven where they stopped teasing each other and just gave honest advice. Tony needed that more than ever now.
"I need your advice Kate," Tony told the sky as lay down on the roof. "Please tell me what I'm supposed to do."
What do you want to know?
Tony started. He could have sworn he heard Kate's voice over the wind in the trees, but that was impossible. "You're dead," Tony told the sky, "you can't really talk to me."
Then why are you talking to me?
Tony decided to stop arguing and take advantage of the voice's presence. "Ziva left and went to Israel. I feel like it's all my fault because she only went back because I killed her boyfriend. He was working an operation that she felt she had to take over."
Why did you kill him?
"I thought he was going to hurt her so I went to talk to him. He started a fight and I shot him in self defense," Tony explained. "I felt awful about it."
Because you cared about him?
"No," Tony replied with a laugh, "I hated his guts, but I hurt Ziva when I killed him and I never wanted to hurt her."
You love her.
"I never said that," Tony replied automatically.
Yes you did. You went to talk to her boyfriend about hurting her and feel bad about killing him when you did it in self-defense. That says love to me.
"I would have done the same thing for you," Tony told her.
Would you have?
"Yes," Tony responded, "I would have."
See I don't think you would have. I think if he had been threatening me at work you would have stopped him, but I don't think you would have gone to my house to talk to him.
"Your right," Tony sighed, "I love her, but what good does that do me now? She has been captured and her dad refuses to rescue her."
When has he ever done anything for her?
"I don't know. From what I can tell he wasn't very supportive during her childhood," Tony replied, "She deserves better than that."
She has something better than that. She has a family Tony. I know there are hard times but in the end you guy are always a team.
"So I should go get her." Tony said.
Is that a statement or a question?
"A statement," Tony replied. There was a silence. "I still feel bad that I couldn't protect you."
No one could have protected me. Ari was a sniper. Someone was going to die and there was nothing we could do about it.
"I'm still sorry you're dead," Tony told her.
So am I but then again I'm not truly dead, yet.
"What do you mean?" Tony asked.
I will only truly be dead when no one on earth remembers who I was or what I did. Until that day I will always be with you. No matter what I will be there if you need me.
MAY 24 2010
The five of them sat together at a bar. It had been exactly five years. It was strange. You would think that half a decade would change things, but in the end they hadn't. They had gained team members and they had lost team members. They had risked their lives a dozen times over. They had fallen in love and they had had their hearts broken. They had lost friends and loved ones. Despite all that, this part of their life hadn't changed that much.
They were all still united around Kate. Abby still missed her best friend. Tony still missed his partner and advisor. Tim still missed his impromptu sister. Gibbs still missed the girl he looked on as a daughter and still wished the bullet had hit him. Ducky still missed his friend.
There were a few changes. They now had all accepted that Kate's death was Ari's fault and not their own. They also had learned to spend this day happily talking about their friend instead of mourning her death all over again. They knew that is how she would want them to act. She would not want them to be stuck in the past.
That was the other thing. She seemed to still be with each of them in spirit. Tony still went up to the roof to talk to her and some times he swore he heard her voice. Abby still thought she sometimes heard Kate talking to her about boys. Tim would often pause in case to wonder what Kate would have done, and that had broken more than one case that had been at a standstill. Ducky often used Kate's theory on people's eyes when profiling suspect. Gibbs had more than once heard Kate's voice telling him how to treat the members of his team.
She was five years gone and yet she was still with them every single day of their lives.
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McGee looked down at the words his fingers had typed:
We come into this world alone and our bodies leave it alone, but our choices while we live ensure that we are never truly alone. The relationships we form in this life keep our memory from completely fading because as long as there is a single person on this earth that remembers you were there then you are there, not in body but in spirit. The people who knew and loved us while we lived are the ones we stay with and watch over in our death. That is the beauty of love. Once a bond of love had been made between two people nothing in this world or the next can destroy that bond. Love will forever out live death.
Rest in Peace—Caitlin Todd
What did you think of it? Again I am really rather proud of it. Please review.