Disclaimer: I do not own final fantasy 7 or its characters. And I do not make money from this fanfiction.

Also I do not own Miyavi, or his song "Dear" or "Selfish Love", Nor do I own VAMPS…(slight mention)

Warnings: Yaoi, Smut recalled and mentioned, and hinted at…. And a lil bit of angst… it is now the morning after…

Coffee Kills

~Chapter 6~

"Egoistic Us"

~…~…~

Reno took mental note of where he was, that's right. He suddenly wished he was miniscule. The night's activities flooded back to him as he went to stretch.

~..~..~

' Just fucking take it…' Tseng threw at him verbally. Their second joining was nothing like the first. Tseng had flipped him face first with his legs played out on the bed, Tseng standing at the edge, slamming into him as hard as he could.

Reno cried out, this position made him feel every centimeter of what Tseng had to give. So much for sweet nothings, or pampering-ly sweet joining's. Reno clenched his fists into the bedspread that he was served up upon. Tseng had stamina. Reno had been denied orgasm this time around… till 'he was told he could blow'

Tseng pulled out and leaned down to nip Reno on the ass before yanking him up off the bed to embrace him tight. Reno was panting and confused.

'I just want to know this is real…' Tseng had whispered before kissing him possessively and lying down with him onto the bed, and re-taking him. This time allowing Reno to come, and following him over the precipice.

Reno felt in that moment that it was fragile like glass. Tseng had called his name like a love song… 'sweet sweet Reno, my Reno' and that was the last words Reno had heard before they slowly pulled apart to fall asleep in a tangled heap

~…~…~

Reno tried to get up to sit on the edge of the bed he was laying and facing. But when he went to move he felt an arm grip him possessively.

"You don't work today, neither of us do…" the sleep fogged voice called.

Reno internally screamed in panic. How could he have wanted this so badly, he was a onetime stand… enjoy-me-fuck-me-hold-till-day-and-leave-me lay… He didn't want to wait around for the seasoned and practiced words. He needed out of there now.

He went to pull away again. And this time when the arm came to pull him tighter, Reno yanked it away. "Lemme the fuck up … Tseng…" the name rolled off dripping in venom. The hand pulled away like it was burned.

Reno wouldn't even turn around. Tears burned his eyes and threatened to spill. "I need to use your bathroom…" He didn't wait for a reply, and half ran to the room. He slammed the door shut and sat down on the floor with his back to it and began to cry. 'Why does this have to happen?' He wondered, as he could see the short lived dream replay in slow motion… with the thought of an 'it's me... not you' speech at the end of it all.

Tseng listened carefully from where he lay prone on the bed, not even bothering to turn over. He heard the tears, and knew that Reno was trying hard to keep himself silent. He'd never heard Reno cry. The only times he'd seen tears in the red head's eyes, they'd been silent tears. And it was extremely rare.

With a half groan, half sigh Tseng shoved the pillow under his chin for a second to think. His 2nd in command would only be crying for two reasons… either if he'd done something to offend the red head, which… he didn't think he'd done. Or if Reno was regretting what had happened.

Tseng solemnly sat up and ran a hand over his face. His heart suddenly felt very heavy. He'd woken up so utterly happy, and complete. Hoping this would last… but… dreams never do…

~…~…~

Reno took the time to take a shower in the unfamiliar bathroom after he'd cried himself out. Tseng could just fucking wait if by any chance he needed the bathroom. Thank god it'd had a lock on it. Reno scrubbed himself so hard with a clean washcloth and cried some more though he didn't think it was possible. He was raw and red from the scorching temperature of the water, and the scrubbing he'd given himself.

Just as he stepped out of the shower there was a gentle knock on the door. He didn't want to answer, but it wasn't his place. "What…" He said carefully.

"I just wanted to let you know that I found a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt that should fit and work you till you get to your apartment. They're on the door handle." And Tseng walked away.

Reno bit his lip. If ever there was an invitation to leave… there it was. He finished drying off fiercely, only adding to the redness that he'd caused on his body. And finger combed his hair and retied it. He may be a wreck internally, but he'd have SOME semblance of normalcy when he would walk out that bathroom door.

Tseng stood with his back to the apartment, on the balcony. It was cool outside; the chill of fall was in the air. But he didn't care. He clenched his fists in the fabric of his favorite tee-shirt that he wore on days off. Why'd he let himself even invite Reno in last night? He thought the man had cared for him, but… that must have just been the lust talking. He heard Reno open the door to most likely reach for the clothes, and steeled away his emotions for the moment. He could seethe about his mistake later. For now he was Reno's superior that needed to fulfill a responsibility.

Reno walked out of the bathroom tentatively. Maybe if it was very slightly possible that he was misreading the situation… he'd think about a second chance. He'd wait and see what the head TURK would say when he came out.

Reno walked out trying to look like nothing was wrong and trying to have an open mind of the situation. He walked out to where Tseng was standing in the doorway of the apartment with a slight smile on his face. "I'm not much of a morning person…" He tried to sooth away his prior actions with at least a half truth.

But when Tseng turned around with a face mask of stone and his hands went to his sides like when he was in TURK mode, Reno's heart dropped, and with it, his face. He turned around quickly, biting his lip. When did he become such a baby? Too much had happened. He needed to clear his head.

"I can escort you to your apartment if you're ready then…" Tseng cautiously said, not wanting to offend his friend, 2nd in command, and his would-be lover. He tried hard to not let his façade crack. He wanted to let Reno keep some pride, and not have to see the failure of a man that Tseng was, when he was doing something as his superior. It was bad enough that somehow he'd failed him physically. Maybe he'd gone overboard, Tseng wondered. Maybe he'd never know, he thought as he saw Reno nod and slip his feet into his untied old boots.

They made their way to Reno's apartment in companionable silence. Tseng let him through his front door and the reality and eight of the situation hit Reno. He stopped dead in his tracks. "Tseng… can you come in for a minute… er… there's something I need ta ask ya.." Reno slipped into his less proper language as he scratched his head lightly. What in the frozen north was he thinking? The man had made it obvious he wanted nothing to do with him.

Tseng stepped only one foot into the doorway and stared at the wall behind Reno, he wouldn't look him in the eye. This was too difficult to begin with. "Reno, I don't think… listen. Last night was beautiful, but… God's Reno, I need to leave. I'll see you at work tomorrow..." Tseng called as he turned on his heels and strode of brusquely.

"What… the fu…" Reno slammed his door shut and broke down again. He was a fucking pansy. "It's true…" He muttered between gasping sobs. He needed to get out of there and forget everything; he needed to push it all out.

Reno ran into his room and threw on a jogging suit. The one freedom he had, aside from flying, was running. He grabbed his pod-eye {a/n: yes…pun intended} and put the ear buds on flipping the player to random. He grabbed his wallet, WITH his keycard and looked out the peephole of his door before leaving.

He jogged carefully down the stairs, all 50+ floors. He wanted to avoid everyone today. Despite the shower he knew he looked like crap, so best just avoid everyone.

He popped his neon green earbud's tighter into his ears and cranked up the volume. The player instantly began playing Miyavi… He wasn't about to argue with that… 'Selfish Love' played, and set a knee slapping upbeat crankin tune. He dashed out the front door of the building like Dark Nation was on his heels and began jogging to the tune.

He made his way around the grounds, they were large. He found his way to a small park that was on the outskirts of the Shinra grounds. It wasn't much of a garden Reno thought as he was jogging his way around it. There was one semi-large tree in the center over a tiny 'Lake' that was more like an oversized puddle. But there were small turtles in the pond so he figured he'd make his way over there to watch them. There were small but brightly colored shrubs. No flowers grew here, but at least a little bit of greenery had made it this long.

So much was muddled in his mind that despite the crankin loud music and the fresh air he couldn't help but think about it…

'I'm tired Reno… Tired of our games. No more. Please. Join me?'… Tseng had said in a deep and sincere, yet tired tone. The kisses… the touches… 'Reno… I want you…. Join me?' So much.. SO fucking much, Reno grabbed at his head, then changed the song.

He needed a break from reality… or for that man that had made him feel special to stay that way forever. But another song came on that he knew… 'God's… why me' Reno thought as he leaned on the railing overlooking the small garden's lake. The lyrics hit his heart…

{ Dear...

What came to me in the misty morning was an unmistakable truth,
From the other end of the line,
Your faint, hollow voice,
"If we end this, maybe..." Trembling, I'm already alone.}

Reno stared out at the ripples upon the surface of the water. The filthy Midgar air did nothing for the moment except amplify the sadness.

{ Tear-colored snow softly, softly dancing in midsummer,
Melts upon my cheeks, holding our memories.

What spins around me right before my eyes, is only the film of my memory
"From my tears... ?"
Your seemingly faint appearance
But even then, it's clear; you are still beautiful to me... }

'Then take me…. Take me now… please.' Reno sobbed into the chilly fall morning air. He could still feel the embrace and the touch and the burning need. 'Please Tseng… TAKE me!' "I'm a filthy beast. Tseng probably thinks I nothing but a needy whore." Reno whispered as tears began to fall.

{ Tear-colored snow softly, softly dancing in midsummer,
Melts upon my cheeks, holding our memories.

When I wake up in the morning with you not beside me,
Lonely, lonely... Today is cloudy and rainy again

The first and the last love song I give to you, ironically, is a sad, sad goodbye song }

But Reno did wake up with Tseng there. His arm possessively draped around his middle. Pulling him back as if he cared. Reno assumed it was to enjoy the moment before he'd dismiss him. But who gave a care… he should have let himself drown in that embrace. Reno wrapped his arms around himself and turned away from the pleasant sight, not caring that there were two turtles on a small log on the edge of the pond. And not caring that the sun was just now really rising behind his now turned back, the grey dust and smog of the city turning the filtered rays of light into a small rainbow of grays, greens and yellows.

{ Tear-colored snow softly, softly dancing in midsummer,
Melts upon my cheeks, holding our memories.

If, for example, if we were born once again,
I hope I'd get to meet you in the winter, which suits you so well...

The taste of your kiss I am nearly sick of, the days that the two of us painted
For me, for you, for the two of us, now... Bye bye. }

"Why'd I fucking fall in love with you!" Reno cried out and ran at top speed, the whole way back to the Shinra building.

His tears had dried up by the time he made it back. He dashed into the small coffee shop at the bottom of the building. 'Moonbucks' a very expensive and publically popular place. He turned down his Pod-Eye and ran up to the line, nearly knocking the man in front of him over.

"Yo, sorry man" Reno said as he lowered his head to stare at his shoes.

"Reno!" The man in front of his asked. "what the hell happened to you!"

"Yo… Rude! What the hell are YOU doing here today!" He asked perusing the man's clothes with his eyes. Rude was wearing a semi flashy island shirt. Long jeans, and instead of his usual sunglasses, he wore a knit beany. With the word 'VAMPS' on it. "Whoah man.. I didn't know you were into music!" Reno pointed to the beany.

"Reno.. first things first. Why are you pale as a ghost" He stopped and felt the man's face and forehead. "Freezing, look like you either got no sleep, or cried yourself out, or both?" Rude finished while quirking his eyebrow up. His eyes gentle and kind obviously more at ease without being on the clock.

"I had an issue with my coffee pot…" Reno hissed and glanced at the slowly shrinking line. He wasn't about to explain. Rude probably already felt that he was a psycho idiot.

Rude shook his head. His friend and partner was really giving his mind a run for his money recently. But if Reno didn't want to open his usually never closed mouth about it. Well, Rude wasn't going to argue with him. He had other things on his mind anyway.

They made their way up to the counter in companionable silence. Rude ordered two latte's plain, to go. And was getting ready to wave goodbye to Reno who was ordering the tallest, largest, strongest cappuccino they had, to go as well. When he Watched Tseng tentatively step in the place. Their boss didn't look much better than Reno. Rude knew SOMETHING had to be going on, now…

Tseng made his way up behind Reno. But didn't want to say anything in front of the public eye. And Rude was right there. But when he least expected it Reno suddenly turned around. He looked like he'd cried harder than Tseng had even witnessed from behind the redhead in the bushes as he'd eavesdropped on the man.

His instinct went out the window as he saw Rude's eyebrow shoot up. He stepped in front of Reno despite the short distance between them. Reno's eyes widened. And the Red ball of fire threw his arms up in the air effectively dumping the entire scorching contents of the very large coffee cup down his arm.

"SHITFUCK! I am Fucking DOOMED! Why can't a BITCHASS like the BUMBLEFUCK I am be a Fuckin COCKKNOCKER like any other PISSY… DOUCEWAFFLE… ASS-PIRATE Can be! A fuckin hot cup of DICK-JUICE would be easier for me to get than a MOTHERFUCKIN CUP OF COFFEE!... I'm a Fuckin HOMODUMBSHIT! That's why! I might as well be a PUNANNY than a COCKSUCKER! I'm a Shithead Spook….." Reno finally trailed off with tears in his eyes.

The business was silent. No one dared breathe. Tseng had watched the display with a slight edge of hilarity in the back of his mind. And to think, he thought Reno wanted nothing more than his cock from him. He didn't even truly take in tha fact that Reno was practically on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Or the fact that the owner of the business stood there with hot coffee overfilling the cup he was next getting. Most likely wasting the entire pot of coffee.

What finally did break the silence was the mother with a stroller that was there obviously visiting a family member. She dropped her infants glass bottle on the floor and it shattered.

Reno looked around with complete disregard to the situation. But took one look at Tseng and suddenly cared. He wanted SO badly to be anywhere but there. He didn't need coffee. He needed to be away from the man that had made him feel like this.

Reno went to run away. Tseng could see it in his eyes. He'd run away and this entire downhill slide would be impossible to stop after this point. "The point of no return." Tseng muttered as he lunged himself at the rattled Red head. "Now or never." He whispered as he pinned Reno against the wall right in front of where Rude was still standing with his jaw dropped open.

Reno couldn't register what was happening, tears were coming to his eyes again. Why was Tseng torturing him? He closed his eyes tightly. Like a child, he felt he could make everything go away. He was tired, in BEYOND desperate need for coffee, worn completely out physically and emotionally, and in also a desperate need for a cigarette.

"Reno…" Tseng began softly, only Rude was close enough to hear. "You have it all wrong. We both misread each other. I want you. I even might think that I…" Reno's eyes slowly opened to focus on Tseng. "I think I may even… be beginning to love you… and have wondered that for a long time…"

"Shitfuckkkk….." Reno whispered and drew the word out. His face went from angered and pained chains binding it, to a look of wonder and shock. "No way!" He whispered again.

"Yes Reno… I want you to come back home with me. Let's try this out again, start over, huh?" Tseng asked as he leaned in closer to the spitfire. Reno barely nodded coherently before Tseng crushed their lips together. Nothing else existed for the two of them all of a sudden. Everything, the pain, frustration and perhaps even outrage went completely away in that one press of frenzied lips.

Tseng growled, possessively and grabbed Reno away from the wall cupping the bottom of his ass in his hands. He pulled away from the kiss. "You're mine now… So don't think you can go calling yourself those names again" He pulled away from the heavily breathing Red head.

Reno inclined his eyebrow. "Whadaya mean?"

"I believe… I mean… you TRIED to use every profanity in the world's dictionary." Tseng pulled away from the gaping Reno. Then turned to the owner of the restaurant who had a very vile look on his face and a PHS in his hand. "You can put that away. This is official TURK business" Tseng said with a grin and walked up to the man to show him his ID.

After the man huffed Tseng turned back to a now gaping with a smile, Reno. "How about we go to my place… and 'I' make you a cup of coffee?" He asked and put his arm around Reno's wais with a hand possessively on a hip. They made their way to the lobby's elevators.

{ Selfish love
Love me, cause I love you
This is my way of love.

I will for me, you will for you*
And I'll be me, and you be you. }

"Cheers to egoistic us…"… Was all that came out of Reno's still stunned, self.

Rude watched them go with a nothing less than horror written on his face. He went to speak aloud, he didn't know why. But was shocked out of his PREVIOUS shock by the feeling of burning liquid going down the front of his pants. "SHITF… ahh no… Dammit! Reno.. what in ifrits balls have you done this time…"

He made his way over to the garbage. Rufus would have to accept coffee from someplace else. There was no way in Gaia he was staying in this place a second longer. "Coffee kills…" He muttered under his breath as he went for the door to the stairs.

~~~End Chapter~~~

A/N: Ok…. Yes, obviously I did more… and still would like to do one or two more chapters. Lol.. some lil surprises in there ;) sorry there was no lemony goodness in this.