One More Theory
(Aka how did Finland end up being the wife)

Finland didn't quite know how he always ended up at Sweden's house. He just enjoyed spending time with the calm man, possibly even more than with his cheerful Estonian friend. With Berwald he never had to pretend being something or someone he wasn't. Besides, he felt safe with Sweden.

One day they were seated in Berwald's living room, having the usual conversation (meaning Tino spoke, Berwald grunted speaking only a few words whenever necessary). That's how Sweden had always been.
At first it felt intimidating, as if he was angry all the time, but after learning to read his emotions Tino started to notice the finest differences. Besides Berwald was rarely angry, and never really at Tino.

That day was one of the few when Tino saw Berwald afraid. It was only a flash but he could see it clearly in the stoic man's eyes as he marched quickly back to the living room. Swiftly and without hesitation he came over to the sofa and lifted Finland up, carrying him upstairs.
"Berwald… what?" Tino muttered as the Swede set him down on his bed and went over to his closet. As expected he received no answer whatsoever. Only a huge white button up was thrown at his face.
"T'ke u'r cl'th's off 'n 'w'ar th't", he muttered with a much more serious tone than before. Tino was getting really afraid now. He knew something was wrong. With shaky fingers he began to undress himself. Berwald closed the window curtains, untying the blue ribbons holding them to the sides. Then he came over to help the flushed Finn.
"Tie th's 'round ur w'ist", Sweden said and pushed another one of the blue ribbons to Finland's hand. Berwald tied the second ribbon to Tino's head.
"Su-san, I look like a girl…" said Finland with confusion in his voice.
" 's good.." Berwald replied and they heard a knock from the front door.
"U'r asleep", the taller Nordic said and with that he left downstairs.

Finland lay on the bed and listened carefully. At first he couldn't tell who the other voice belonged to but soon realization hit him hard.
Ivan Braginski.
Tino was paralyzed by fear. Then he noticed his clothes still on the floor.
Like a frightened rabbit he got up and showed them to Berwald's closet. Then he jumped back onto the bed and closed his eyes.

"J'st m' 'n m'w'fe h're…" he heard Berwald say.
"Shuddup I know ye'r hiding the Finn in 'ere…" the clearly drunken Russian muttered, "DA?"
" 's I said, J'st m' 'n m'w'fe…" They were now coming upstairs. Tino's heart sunk and he shook all over. Still he managed to keep his cool. The tall and intimidating Swede seemed like a midget compared to Ivan.

"Shooo… this is yar wife then, da?" He bent over Tino and the smell of vodka in his breath made the small man nauseous. He could only guess what would happen to him if he'd get caught.
"D'n't w'ke 'r up…" said Berwald and hearing his stoic voice calmed Tino down a bit.
"Ye'r suuure Fin's not here, da?" Ivan was still towering over the frightened man. His face came dangerously close to the Finn's, causing the said man to hold his breath.

Russia failed to keep his balance, drunk as he was, and he stumbled over Tino. Quickly Berwald pulled him back up, happy to have an excuse to throw the Russian out.
"Ya st'y 'way fr'm m'w'fe…" Berwald grunted angrily and Tino admired his courage. A drunken Russia wasn't something to mess around with. He had no idea how Eduard, Toris and Raivis could manage him.

Tino stayed rooted to the spot and didn't dare to move before Berwald came back into the room. He sat on the bed and lifted Finland to his lap holding him close.
"I-it's okay. Don't worry", Tino tried to reassure him. "I'm just glad he… didn't have his pipe with him."
"Jag älskar dig så hemskt mycket…" Berwald whispered.
"Eh... Jag älskar dig också... Tack" replied Tino shyly and wrapped his arms around the Swede.

"Y'r a be'ut'f'l w'fe", Berwald nuzzled to Tino's neck smiling slightly.
"S-shut up…" the Finn blushed wildly.