Hi, this is StrawberryTigress here, finally out of school (Darn school! lol!) and back in business. Oh well, let me begin to describe this story. This is not your average fairytale, not at all. Be aware of lots of plot twists, unexpected secrets, and some canon and crack pairings! Involves the use of characters not normally used. Loosely based on William Makepeace Thackeray's The Rose and the Ring (love that book). I don't own TDI (duh) or The Rose and the Ring, so don't sue. Really, you won't get any money at all, people. Okay, on to the story! I hope you enjoy it!

Dear reader,

I have been charged with writing down the history of the Kingdom of Wawanakwa (now known as the Free Republic of Wawanakwa, which is ironically a dictatorship), and I came across this most interesting chapter in this nation's long and depressing history. Due to history being the world's most boring subject (second only to Russian Literature), I've decided to write down this important period in history in story form. Maybe one person might even read this first chapter without even falling asleep! As a dedicated authoress and researcher, I surely hope so.

Best regards,

StrawberryTigress

Foreword

Our story begins hundreds of thousands of years ago on the isolated little island nation of Wawanakwa. Or maybe the nation of Wawanakwa is situated on a peninsula? Unfortunately I am not sure, and strangely the few citizens that live there now are also unsure. Hmm… But anyway, I'm sure that Wawanakwa was a fine country under the reign of King Chris I, otherwise known (to himself) as Chris The Most Popular, Handsome, Best Haired, and Shiniest Toothed King of All Time (which historians now claim as a clear example of King Chris' huge ego, but I digress).

Now King Chris was "blessed" with one daughter, the lovely and accomplished Princess Courtney. How lovely and accomplished the princess actually was is up to some debate, but we shall go into more detail about her later. Also King Chris had a royal manservant (or maybe royal maidservant is more accurate since the man was forced to wear women's clothing on many occasions) named Chef Hatchet. Little is known about this man except that no historian is sure whether "Chef" is actually his first name, whether he was a real chef, or why he even put up with King Chris for such little pay. Moreover little is known about the King's old consort, presumably the Princess Courtney's mother, but it is suspected that she ran off with a used car salesman. Historians are 99.999% sure that as a result of this action she led a much happier life than if she had stayed with her family.

So this concludes the immediate royal family of Wawanakwa. To be thorough I must point out that there was also one more member of this dysfunctional clan, but he is not important at this point so we shall not discuss him now. But still, King Chris, Princess Courtney, and Chef Hatchet were forced to live together and annoy the crap out of each other and the people around them for many a good year. And they would have probably continued this for many years more until a certain portrait arrived just in time for breakfast for a certain princess.

And this is where our story begins…

"So this is the future king of Boney Island?" Princess Courtney muttered in disgust at the royal breakfast table, tossing the portrait to the side so her royal father could see. "Is this the best they have to offer?"

"Pass me that," King Chris ordered lazily, still munching his morning muffin.

No one moved.

"Ahem," Chris cleared his throat loudly, and a huge, dark, extremely muscled man dressed in a maid's uniform who just so happened to be standing next to the king, sighed heavily.

"Here…." the huge man growled, and he added under his breath: "Ungrateful little pretty boy…"

"Thank you, Chef," Chris replied cheerfully. "Hmm…" The cheerful king studied the portrait for a moment. "He has green hair. Interesting. What do you think, Chef? Local custom?"

"Local custom?" Princess Courtney shrieked, pushing herself from the table. "Local custom? He looks like a freak with that thing! I will not have him come here! What kind of prince has green hair and piercings for Pete's sake? Can we send an invite back to the Duchess of Winnipeg again? Even though her son had that awful overbite…" The princess shivered in disgust.

"Nuh, uh, uh, Courtney, no can do," Chris wagged his finger in the brunette's face. "It's already been decided between the King of Boney Island and me. You and that prince meet each other…you canoodle… (at this Princess Courtney glared at her father), and you two just might decide to join each other in holy matrimony and link our two kingdoms forever----or something like that." The King said this all very nonchalantly, moving his hands around, while the Princess' expression looked more and more dangerous. At the ominous look on her face, even Chef had to take a step back.

"So this is just a ploy to get me and that-that-that weirdo prince together so the kingdom can be expanded?" the Princess yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at the King.

"Meh, you can say that," Chris replied slyly.

"If you want territory, why don't we just go to war with them then?" Courtney proposed. There was no way the brunette was going through with her father's selfish little cockamamie scheme, especially one that had the potential to change her entire life. Especially one that involved her marrying some weirdo foreign prince. No way.

"Smarty-pants has a point, you know," Chef Hatchet pointed out, much to the displeasure of Chris. "And besides, Pretty Boy, how can she join our two nations under one crown when she is not even the Crown Princess, because as far as I know, isn't the person whose next in line to the throne Nerdy Bo-"

"No one says his name at the breakfast table!" King Chris interrupted. "Official new rule number 1287254. Chef, go get a scribe so he can write this down!"

"That doesn't make sense," Princess Courtney frowned. "Chef didn't even say his name. He only said--"

"New rule number 1287254! La la la!" Chris yelled in a sing-song voice while putting his hands over his ears and shutting his eyes.

Now unbeknownst to our dysfunctional royal family, they were being watched by a very mysterious, very magical, but very insane personage.

"Yes, yes…" sitting upon a ledge outside the royal breakfast hall, the insane personage rubbed her insane hands together. "My plan is going exactly to plan!"

"Um, Mistress Izzy, woot plan, eh?" another mysterious person, who happened to be perched beside her, asked.

Izzy smiled maniacally. "Only one of the most amazing plans I've ever come up with since I discovered the magical arts nearly two thousand years ago, my faithful toque-wearing servant." With this the redhead rubbed her servant's toque affectionately; her brunet servant nervously bit his lip. "I put the plan into motion sixteen years ago. With this, I shall change the history of the world! Ah, Zeke, this shall be the best thing since the invention of Tabasco sauce!"

"Ookay… Boot I thought the phrase was 'the best thing since the invention of sliced bread, eh?'" Zeke pointed out.

"Oh, I invented sliced bread too, but Tabasco sauce is soooo much cooler, you know?"

And this is all for chapter one. More about Ezekiel and Izzy's backgrounds in chapter two, plus the last unintroduced member of the royal family. Tell me how you liked it! Thanks! And I was just kidding with the joke about Russian Literature... Ha!